#thisoneisforyou

I want to be bold but I don’t know if I can. To finally claim you and tell the world about this wonderful man. My own fear holds me back, makes me question my confidence and throws me off track. Many may not see it but I know I do, deep down inside I know there is something amazing about you. 

I hope you see this, though I doubt you will. What we had may have been brief but we both know it was real. I want to badly to tell you to leave and chose me, but it something I want you to be able to see. I need it to be from the heart not some fleeting choice made, I need you to want me because I need to know you feel the same. 

I wish so much you would just knock on my door, take me in your arms and say everything I want without a word. I want you to know what I need without having to be heard. Thoughts of a lonely woman I suppose, reflecting on a loss I didn’t chose on my own. I needed time to heal and be me again, sadly I was not fast enough to make you mine again. 

I can be difficult to love, and even more so to understand. I can me territorial, jealous, and easily get mad. I need reassurance, and sometimes for you to hold my hand. I also need space because I was broken by another man. 

I watch your eyes lower to my lips and I know what you’re asking for. I ache for it, too.

I want to let you slip in beside me, ride all the way home. Back to a place we can’t reach anymore, where the moon beamed bright through my bedroom windows, and you wrapped your hair up in the bathroom mirror.

I want to count the beads of water that form on your perfect skin while you’re in the shower, and watch you smoothe shea butter from head to toe when you climb out.

I want to watch you take off your makeup. Gaze longingly at you as water drips from your hands down to your elbows and into the sink.

I want to grow impatient as I hunger for you, but savor every moment until you finally come to me.

I want to follow you into the darkness and get wrapped up with you under the sheets in my bed.

I want my sighs to harmonize with you humming this song to me. I want to make circles with my fingertips on your skin as I sing you my favorite lullaby.

I want to watch you squirm when I come near the creases of your arms with one finger. I want to see you melt when I slide all ten of mine between yours.

I want to press my forehead against your forehead and breathe you in. I want to let my head fall back when your lips come too close to my collar bones.

I want to keep my eyes closed and try to guess where you’re going. Follow the map of your fingertips, get lost in every second with you.

I want to feel that head spinning rush, the ecstasy spreading through my whole body as I let you make me yours

and you become mine.

I want to surrender to all of you.

I want to say yes.