#thisisfine

I have no idea what I’m doing’ cat cross stitch work office pattern. 🐈🪴🖥️🙃

Stitching this design was great for taking out my frustration one stitch at a time (if you hate your job then this pattern is perfect for you btw), but also made me giggle bc it's so cute and silly.

Like sir… that is not a solution. That is a collection.

You saw a circus kid with trauma → took him home You saw an angry street child → took him home You saw a literal assassin → took him home

At this point Gotham’s biggest threat isn’t crime, it’s Bruce Wayne having emotional attachment issues and unlimited money.

Alfred out here raising 9 emotionally unstable vigilantes like it’s a full-time war zone (because it is).

And the wildest part?

Dog Memes in Ukiyo-e Style

I was not just watching—I was vibrating at an unhealthy frequency. I don’t think I took a single breath until he crossed the line, and when he did? Full-body shutdown. Lights out and away went my sanity. 😵‍💫🏎️💨

Oh, please. This is utter nonsense. I am more than capable of recognizing romantic behavior when I see it, and I can assure you—without a shadow of a doubt—that whatever you perceive between Eredin and me is entirely normal, platonic, and not at all indicative of anything beyond a well-established working relationship between two scribes.

Yes, I do ensure he eats proper meals because he would otherwise survive solely on hot cocoa and sheer willpower.

Yes, I do notice when he is anxious and place his favorite quill near him to soothe him—and, if he is particularly distressed, I will also place a cup of his favorite tea beside it, and perhaps murmur some reassurance, and maybe place a gentle hand on his shoulder. But that is simply efficiency! A calm scribe is a productive scribe!

Yes, I do carry a spare cloak for him in case he forgets his own and it grows cold, and, on one occasion, I may have also draped it over his shoulders myself because he was too distracted writing to notice the chill. And perhaps I pulled it snug around him and murmured, "You’ll catch cold, dearest," but that is just common sense! Nothing unusual about it!

And, fine, I have—on occasion—pressed a hand to his forehead to check for fever because he looked too pale. And perhaps I did also brush his curls aside when doing so, and perhaps I did also frown and tell him, "You worry me," in an uncharacteristically soft tone, but that is merely responsible coworker behavior. A good superior! A caring friend! Nothing more!

And yes, perhaps I once found him asleep at his desk and—out of sheer practicality, mind you—decided to carefully lift him, carry him to a proper bed, and tuck him in because sleeping upright is bad for one's spine! And perhaps I also lingered for a moment to make sure he was comfortable, and perhaps I also brushed a curl from his cheek, and perhaps I whispered, "Sleep well, Eredin," in a tone that one might technically classify as fond, but that is entirely beside the point.

And yes, fine, if you absolutely must know, I did once notice he was cold and—again, purely out of practicality—pulled him into my arms to share warmth. And perhaps he did sigh against my shoulder, and perhaps I did rest my chin atop his head, and perhaps we did stay like that for an extended period of time because it was the most logical way to maintain body heat. But that is all it was! A tactical decision! Nothing more!

And if anyone says otherwise, they are deeply mistaken, and I will be forced to present an exhaustive scholarly rebuttal, complete with annotated sources, footnotes, and a sternly worded preface.

Now, if you will excuse me, Eredin has requested my assistance in selecting new earrings, and I must ensure that he picks a pair that complements his eyes, enhances his bone structure, and subtly matches his favorite tunic.