#this july

I’M GOING TO FUCKING BRANSON!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah at the end of July my two friends, Haley, Jenny and I are travelling to Branson MO for a long weekend. This is the first time I am doing anything like this without my parents so I’m pretty nervous but also crazy excited.

We’re going to go to a mirror maze and ziplining. We’re staying in a hotel (duh) and so that’ll be fun. And I’m decking out my car for the trip.

The reason we’re going to Branson in the first place was my own idea, I wanted to go see the Titanic museum.

I was planning to just go by myself, but I really didn’t like the idea of being alone for reasons I will explain shortly. So I asked my friends if they would be up for a vacation this summer, and, they both said yes.

So I have explained this to a couple close friends of mine, but basically, ever since I saw the movie when I was younger, the whole ordeal of the Titanic physically and emotionally upsets me. It makes me so angry that so many people died in fear and pain like that because of a few mistakes that were as simple as vanity and not being able to see a huge iceberg soon enough. I feel like even the bodies weren’t treated fairly. More than a thousand people died that night.

They only recovered a few more than 300 bodies.

Even a hundred years after the disaster it is something that haunts me. I have a friend who thinks I am reincarnated from someone who died on the Titanic, in the tragedy. I don’t believe in reincarnation, but at this point this obsession have done enough to my sanity, so I have chosen to take my friends advice and go to the museum and face my greatest fear.

The idea of seeing the items recovered, of being at the replica of the grand staircase. I know I’m going to lose it, and that is why I asked my friends to go with me. I can’t wait to go, and I hope this trip will help me let go of this obsession that I have had, because literally, because of how I feel about the Titanic I have done extensive research into the turn of the century, the 1910′s, the sorts of ships and vessels they had, I’ve looked into fashion, lifestyles, I’ve learned all about anything I could, involving that time period.

I used to know everything there was to know about the Titanic, the build, the structure, the tonnage, how long it took and all the specifics I could find. For a period of about a year, my obsession began to shrink, and I got better, but now it’s been getting bad again and I just wanna be able to let this go.

So, I’m going to Branson, and I can’t wait. But if you’re the praying type, pray for me.