Huh. You try interacting with a roleplay blog that allows asks, only for them to reject you because they only want to respond to asks from "roleplay blogs." I didn't expect that to sting, but it did.
You see, this is why I never make the first move. When people tell me I'm unwanted, I do understand. But it also hurts. And the sting of rejection is so strong that I decide I'd rather take my chances all alone by myself.
I don't make friends in real life because I'm scared to open up to people. I don't trust people to just accept everything about me. So I just stay by myself. And unless someone else makes a concerted effort to force down my walls, unless someone tries to basically whittle me down...well, I never open up more than a small amount.
I was planning to go take a break from the internet and focus on using my Nintendo Switch, but I kept delaying. This rejection really gave me a wake up call. So yeah, I'll go do that. But I'm still a bit stung by it.
I think I'm gonna unfollow that blog who refused to answer my ask. I won't name their name, because I don't want people to harass them or something. But I just don't see the point in following someone if they're not going to be nice enough to respond to the one ask I send, especially when I barely ever send asks.
I think I assumed a roleplay blog with an open ask inbox would be willing to respond to asks from anyone, but apparently not. I understand the world doesn't revolve around me, and people are entitled to reject my attempts at things. But I can't live anyone else's life, so everything still feels very personal. And so I get stressed when a thing like this happens. Probably also why I get defensive so often.
