THINK LATER
Ilya Rozanov x f!singer!reader
Series inspired by Tate McRae's album Think Later
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au: Hii, chapter 1 is outtt!! Hope you loke it 🩷 Also english isn't my first languagem so excuse some mistakes xd. It gets a little steamy, but no smut :)
For the sake of the story, covid didn't happen.
Boston, 2023
The backstage area is ussually a place of full focused calm, if you ignore the sound of the crew members running around for last-minute fixes, dancers marking their steps, and mostly the distant, muffled roar of the fans in the sold-out Boston arena.
The curent stop of the tour. The city where the spark caught fire for the album. As I studied my reflection in the vanity mirror, the memories crashed over me, leaving me uneasy and nervous.
"Y/n? Stage in fice," a voice called out, cutting through my thoughts.
I exhale a sharp, steadying breath and stood up. "Alright, let's do this." I meet my dancers half way in a big, tight hug "Lets give them everything tonight, guys!" I smile at them as they pat my back and make my way to the stage lift.
The loud cheers of the crowd intensified, vibriting through the floor as the intro began to play. I took one last deep breath, catching the eye of Dave, a long-time friend on the crew. He handed me my microphone with a supportive grin. "You're going to kill it tonight."
"I know," I replied, a smirk playing on my lips as the adrenaline began to override the nerves. "See you on the other side." I turned away, shaking out the tension in my hands as I stepped into my alter ego-stage persona.
As the platform rose, the first notes of Think Later pierced the air. The transition was instant: blue lights flashing across the arena, thousands of voices screaming in unison, and the sheer electricity of the moment took me aback for a moment. 'God,' I though, scanning the sea of faces and phones. 'Did I really make it?'
The dancers hit the stage shortly with a synchronized stomps, moving in perfect harmony with the heavy bass.
The first dancers came in, stomping, moving in the rythm with the music.
Live now, think later, I do it so well
Live now, think later, I do it so well
Fall hard, heart breaker, I want him, oh, well
Live now, think later, I do it so well.
I sauntered to my mark, hips swaying to the beat. The crowd was a deafening chior, shouitng the lyrics at me as I fed off the energy.
Met you at a night out in Boston -
Boston, 2020
At the time I was living in Boston, a city of uphill battles. I was grinding throug a career that felt like it was stalled in neutral. The studio I spent most of my time had been depressingly silent all week. Working overtime at the studio and having a side hustle, was slowly eating me alive.
"Girl, you are like the definition of burned out." Alysson, a close friend of mine, blured out from the couch.
I looked up from my notebook, brows furrowed "What do you mean?"
She rolled onto her side to face me. "Look at you. You are 8 hours working at some dead-end job, then come here and try to make something and then back to work. Babe, I care about you so much, and those bags under your eyes are scary. You need a break."
"I know, Aly. I know," I murmured, staring at the jagged, half-finished verses on the page. "I just... I don't know where I'm with this dream anymore."
"I have an idea," Cole, another long-time friend, suggested with a mischievous glint in his eye. "There’s a party tonight. We’re going to go, and you’re going to vent some of that steam."
"Guys, I really shouldn't—" I started.
"‘I don’t do parties because I once got drunk and lost,’ blah, blah, blah," Cole finished, perfectly mimicking my tone. He flashed a grin. "That was one time, girl." He smiled "What are the odds it will happen again today?"
I sighed, defeated. "Fine, you're right, I’m in."
An hour later, Alysson and I were at my apartment, the floor littered with discarded outfits. I was watching her dig through my wardrobe from my comfortable bed. She finally shoved a black dress into my lap that hugged every curve with lethal precision.
"Isn't this a little too much?" I asked eyeing it suspiciously.
She rolled her eyes. "Just go." she said and pointed in the direction of my bathroom. I did as she told me to, and changed into the dress. Then I walked out to show Alysson.
"GIRL!" Alysson gasps "You look stunin'!" She screamed and hugged me, I laughed and hugged her back "Thank youuu".
The club was a sensory overload: heavy bass, the scent of expensive perfume, and a kaleidoscope of neon lights. After a round of shots at the bar, the world felt a little softer around the edges.
"Cheers!"
"To us!" we shouted in unison, slamming the glasses down.
"Now, let’s dance!" I grabbed their hands and pulled them toward the floor just as All the Things She Said began to play. I let go, when we were in the middle of the dance floor, throwing my hads up and losing myself in the rhythm. I laughed at Cole's stupid moves and briefly looked around, my eyes wandered toward the bar, locking onto a man who was watching me with an intensity that made my heart skip. I offered a fleeting, bold smile before turning back to my friends.
I felt alive, aware of the stranger’s eyes lingering on me, and I found myself leaning into the attention.
Eventually, I slipped away to grab us another round of drinks. As I waited at the bar, resting my aching feet, a glass filled with a vivid blue liquid appeared in front of me.
"Sorry, but I didn't order this" I told the bartender.
"I know. But that guy did," he replied, gesturing toward the end of the bar. It was him. Up close, he was devastating—sharp features and a small, intriguing mole on his cheek. I noded with a smile as a quick thank you. I turned back around and took a sip of the mysterious drink.
"Hey," a deep voice said, flavored with a thick Russian accent.
"Hi," I replied, my pulse quickening. "Oh, uhm, thanks, for the drink."
He sat down beside me, a soft laugh escaping his lips. "It was my pleasure. I’m Ilya." He reached out a hand, his fingers rough but his touch unexpectedly gentle as we shook.
"Y/n," I whispered.
"Y/n…" he repeated, testing the weight of my name. "That is a beautiful name." he smiled, letting go of my hand in the process.
"Thank you. Yours is quite unique." I smile at his compliment.
"Maybe," he shrugged. "But not as pretty as yours."
I looked away, blushing, and realized I had forgotten my friends' drinks. "Oh! I’m so sorry— I’ll be right back." I grabbed the glasses, half-expecting him to disappear the moment I turned my back or spike my drink I left there, on the counter.
It didn't take long to find them. "Guys, I met this hot guy at the bar, he bought me a drink," I said excitedly. "Give me a minute, I'll be right back, okay?" I smiled and left before they could say anything. The walk back felt shorter—maybe because I was speed-walking.
"Sorry about that," I said, sliding back into my seat. "Now, where were we?"
Put your hand on my thigh in the Commons -
Conversation flowed with an effortless gravity. The connection felt tangible, electric. At one point, he leaned in close, his hand resting firmly but carefully on my thigh to steady himself as he whispered into my ear. I didn't hear a word he said, I was too focused on the heat of his touch and the scent of his skin. When he pulled back, his hand remained, and I was too enthralled to move it.
Been drinkin' somethin' blue, turn my phone off
'Cause if it's not you, I don't wanna talk -
He ordered another round. "You really don't have to pay for all of these," I noted, as the bartender gave me my new drink.
"I insist. It is only right," he said, his eyes dropping to my lips for a fraction of a second. "Do you like the drink?"
"Oh, yeah, the drink is really nice. What’s it called?"
"A Midnight Kiss," he said with a smirk. "I thought it might bring me luck."
I giggled, completely caught in his orbit. I didn't notice my phone vibrating incessantly in my pocket until he pointed it out. I glanced at the screen: fifty missed calls and texts from my friends. I breath in, deciding if I really want to do, what I had in mind. I take one last glance at his face full of concern. 'Live now, think later' I though, as I set the phone to 'Do not Disturb' and slid it away.
Don't know if it's been a minute or an hour
Kinda cute when you bribin' the bouncer -
Time became a blurred concept. We were eventually sitting so close that there was no space left between us, his arm draped over my shoulders, laughing like idiots.
"Do you want some fresh air?" He asked "The balcony?"
The idea of the cool night air was intoxicating. He led me through the crowd, his hand firmly gripping mine. Outside, the city of Boston stretched out beneath us in a tapestry of lights.
"This is perfect," I breathed, leaning against the railing and look at him. He stood beside me, his gaze fixed on the horizon before turning to me. "What?" he asked, catching me staring.
He was overlooking the city, gaze neutral. But he must've notice my absence of talking ar just felt the eyes on him, becouse he turn his head and looked at me, eyes softening "What?" He smiled.
"Just enjoying the view," I teased.
"I was thinking the exact same thing," he murmured, pushing off the railing and stepping into my personal space. He cupped my cheek, his thumb brushing my skin. He began to lean in, his eyes searching mine for permission.
I blushed, at his touch, face getting hotter, I swear he could feel it.
"Everything alright here?" a security guard interrupted. Ilya stiffened, casting a dark, irritated look at the guard. The moment fractured, leaving me breathless and flushed.
My friends got scared and they called the cops
But I'm just at the Ritz with the door locked -
The heavy pulse of the bass surged through the arena, snapping me back from my memories to the electric reality of the stage. My body took over, moving with a muscle memory that felt as natural as breathing.
Live now, think later, I do it so well
Live now, think later, I do it so well
Fall hard, heart breaker, I want him, oh, well
Live now, think later, I do it so well
The audience erupted, the floor beneath me vibrating from the force of thousands of people jumping in unison. Sweat began to glisten on my skin as the physical exertion took hold, but I couldn't stop the grin that spread across my face. It was pure, unadulterated happiness.
Dance with your hand in my back pocket -
In my mind’s eye, the flashing stage lights blurred back into the hazy neon of that night. We had moved from the quiet balcony back into the thick of the crowd. I didn't even notice the transition, I was too focused on the way our bodies swayed, my arms draped around his neck while his hands roamed my waist before settling firmly on my hips. I leaned my head against his chest, catching a glimpse of his biceps beneath his shirt, and smiled. Even as the high-tempo electronic music pounded around us, we moved as if the world had slowed to a ballad.
I picture your face in my neck locket -
I tilted my head back, meeting his gaze with a soft, mesmerized smile. I reached up, cupping his face in my hands. In that flickering light, he looked like a masterpiece—the kind of beauty that made you wonder if God had favorites. He was a living, breathing, masculine version of the Aphrodite.
Just give me your beatin' heart, I'll stop it, boy
Don't lie, I know you want it, yeah -
His arms tightened around my waist, pulling me so close that the rest of the club ceased to exist. His eyes searched mine, intense and asking a silent question. I didn't hesitate. I leaned in, our lips meeting in a soft, tentative kiss that Ilya immediately deepened with a sudden, hungry intensity. A small, surprised sound escaped my throat, and I felt his grip tighten, his fingers pressing into my skin. When I finally pulled back, gasping for air, he chased my lips for a fleeting second before resting his forehead against mine, his eyes boring into my soul.
Gotta make a quick stop at the ATM
I know you won't make me pay, but I'll just pretend -
Eventually, the heat of the club became too much. We slipped out into the cool night air in search of some street food before the inevitable round of final shots. I made a half-hearted comment about needing an ATM, but Ilya brushed it off with a firm insistency that he was paying.
We wandered down the Boston streets, shoulders brushing, his arm a heavy, warm weight around me. When we found a late-night spot, he went inside to order. I took the moment to pull out my phone, hoping to reassure my friends, but the screen remained black. It was dead. “Fuck,” I hissed under my breath. My mind raced with the "what-ifs," wondering if I was being reckless.
"What’s on your mind? That frown doesn't suit you," Ilya said, reappearing with the food. I took it with a grateful smile, the worry fading as soon as I looked at him."Oh, nothing serious." I reassured him.
We walked and ate in a comfortable, charged silence.
"Hey, you wanna come back to my place after?" Ilya said looking at me directly. I looked at him, weighing my already made decision.
"Yeah, why not?" I said with a knowing, soft smile.
Laughin' in the backseat of the black car -
He pulled out his phone, ordering us an uber. Surprisingly a few minutes later, a sleek black Mercedes pulled up to the curb. "What kind of Ubers do you have?" I teased as he held the door open for me. He let out a low laugh. "The best kind," he replied, sliding in after me.
The interior was plush—too fancy for a standard ride. I watched him in the dim light; he was checking his phone with a sudden, stern intensity. "You alright?" I whispered. He simply nodded and tucked the phone away, his expression softening as he turned back to me.
"Do you work for the mafia?" I blur out, randomly. "Becouse this is not a normal uber." I say, getting suspicious.
"Do you work for the mafia?" I blurted out, unable to help myself. "Because this isn't exactly a normal Uber ride."
He laughed, a genuine, rich sound. "Okay, Ms. Detective." He shook his head, a playful glint in his eyes. "No, I don't."
"Well, I certainly hope so," I replied, matching his smile.
It's not a good night if you don't take it too far -
The ride was brief. When we stepped out, I found myself staring up at a stunning, ultra-modern villa. It looked more like a fortress of glass and steel than a home—hardly the place to dispel my mafia theories.
"You’re going to murder me," I joked, my voice light even as my heart hammered against my ribs. He didn't say a word, only shook his head with a smirk as he unlocked the door and ushered me inside.
The door closed with a heavy, final click. The silence of the house was immediate and intimate. He turned to me, his focus narrowing until I was the only thing in his world. He stepped into my space, his head tilted, that same devastating smirk playing on his lips. His hands found my waist again. I looked up at him, my hands sliding up his chest and tangling deep into his hair.
When our lips connected this time, the restraint was gone. I felt him guiding me, tugging me gently toward what I knew was his bedroom, and I followed him into the dark, leaving the rest of the world behind.
Live now, think later, I do it so well
Live now, think later, I do it so well
The beat dropped back in the arena, and I snapped back to the present, my body moving instinctively with the music.
Fall hard, heart breaker, I want him, oh, well
Live now, think later, I do it so well
The crowd was a literal force of nature. I gave the final sequence of the choreography everything I had, a wide grin plastered across my face. This song was a high-energy anthem, but for me, it was a diary entry. It was a reminder of the man who still lingered in the spaces between my lyrics.
As the final note echoed and died away, the applause was deafening.
"Boston, what's UP!" I screamed into the microphone, my voice thick with emotion. "You guys are incredible. You sold this place out so fast, I can’t even believe it." I laught briefly.
I took a moment to catch my breath, looking out at the thousands of lights. "This next one... I wrote it about a guy I met not too far from here. It’s called Greedy."
taglist: @tsukikyo
