#think it through

Here are some things you should know

Hey Tumblrs. It's a big decision. A word to the wise for you below. Much love. Be well. ❤️‍🩹💙❤️‍🩹

Going public – telling your story in a public or semi-public way, like posting on social media, talking to the media, or naming someone in a forum – can feel powerful, liberating, and important. But it can also come with serious consequences. If you’re thinking about going public, here are some things to be aware of first.

1. You may be punished or get fired Retaliation is illegal, but it still happens all the time. Some people are fired on the spot. Others are pushed out – given fewer hours, cut off from projects, or frozen out socially until they quit. Your workplace can start to feel hostile fast.

2. It could hurt your career long-term Going public can change your professional reputation in ways you can’t control. Employers often shy away from hiring people who’ve spoken out publicly about harassment, fearing they’ll do it again. People may decide you're a troublemaker, difficult, disloyal, or unprofessional. Those judgements can stick with you for a long time.

3. You could be sued for defamation If you name the harasser, they could sue you for defamation.. Lawsuits are expensive, time-consuming, and emotionally draining, even if you win. Some harassers and employers may use the threat of a lawsuit to silence you or punish you for speaking out - and the risk is higher if your harasser is wealthy, powerful, or has a history of legal threats or lawsuits..

4. You may get backlash (and it might be intense) Not everyone who goes public gets attacked, but many do. Sometimes it’s strangers calling you names online, and sometimes people will dig through your past, contact your employer, or even send you threats. You can’t know in advance whether it will be mild or extreme, and that not-knowing is part of what makes going public risky..

5. You may not like the reaction you get Once your story is out there, anything could happen. People may misquote you. Strangers might share it far and wide, or … not care. What feels critical and personal to you might be minimized, doubted, or ignored.

6. You could harm your legal position or break an NDA If you’re in the middle of a formal complaint or lawsuit, speaking out can complicate things. It may give your harasser time to hide evidence or ammunition to argue that you're exaggerating or acting out of spite. If you have an NDA, breaking it could get you sued.

1. Leaving is valid but not always easy Walking away might be the best way to protect yourself. But you might need the paycheck, benefits, or simply not have an exit yet. Leaving is okay. Staying is okay. This is about survival.

2. Sometimes staying is the safer option (for now) If you’re planning to report or take legal action, staying a bit longer might help you gather proof or get advice. Leaving too soon can hurt your case or your finances. It’s unfair, but sometimes smarter.

3. Talk to a lawyer before you leave Even if you're ready to go, a quick legal consult can help. Some lawyers will talk for free. Quitting might affect benefits or your ability to file. Ten minutes could shift your whole plan (and life path).

4. Think about what you’re really leaving Sometimes it's a whole career or dream you're stepping away from. That’s a real loss. If you're grieving it, don't feel weak. Feel human, human (you're human)!

5. Don’t make fast moves, make smart ones Start looking before the job breaks you. Quitting with no plan can make things harder. I've been in "anywhere but here” mode wayyy too many times to count, but trust me, you deserve more.

6. Frame your exit in your own words Future employers don’t need the full truth. “It wasn’t the right fit” is plenty. Share more only if it feels right. You set the boundaries now.

7. Save your evidence and protect your access If you’ve documented anything, save it privately (off work devices). If you file a report later, that paper trail can matter.

8. Whatever you choose, you're not alone There’s no perfect response to harassment. Whether you stay or go, speak up or stay quiet, your path is valid. What matters is your safety, sanity and peace.

NOTE: I've been writing these homemade listicles down on paper with a fancy fountain pen I got as a birthday present recently (pic above). I don't really know why but thinking thoughts out loud with my hands is just better. Clearer, dare I say, healing? I know my handwriting is indecipherable trash and most of you won't be able to read it, but I still like how the curves look on the whole.

Be well friendos

Hello friends. Hello work week.

In the spirit of getting through, I wanted to start this Monday off by sharing a few quick thoughts about how to keep your head when something at work crosses a line (harassment, retaliation, just a gut-level this isn’t okay thing).

In my experience, it's easy to veer into full on self-protection mode. By either shutting down completely or oversharing too fast. That's normal, but trust me, it can backfire. One moment of panic or pressure can lock you into choices you didn’t actually want to make.

You need people who help you stay grounded and make decisions that are right for you, not reactive ones fuelled by fear or rage.

WARNING: I have a feeling this one might be a longer post than usual, but I think (I hope) it’s worth it!

Assess Your Workplace First: Before you confide in anyone or take action, pause. Does this place protect its people or protect itself? Have others been supported, or quietly pushed out? Taking the pulse will help you gauge how careful you need to be, and what kind of support makes sense.

Go slow with coworkers: Even the ones who seem safe and the ones who “get it” If you share too soon, you risk gossip, misinterpretation, or triggering a formal response before you’re ready. You deserve time to process and decide what you want to do.

Pay attention to who isn’t helpful: If someone dismisses it, changes the subject, or says “Are you sure it was that bad?” that may seem neutral, but I'd say it's a red flag. You’re not wrong to notice who makes you feel smaller.

Try trained support: Hotlines and harassment-specific services exist for moments like this, not just worst case scenarios. You don’t need a full story, just a place to think out loud with someone who won’t judge, push, or oversimplify.

Friends & family aren’t always it: Sometimes the people closest to you don’t know how to help. Start with someone who truly listens - who doesn’t immediately problem-solve, give ultimatums, or make it about themselves. Your needs have to come first here.

Look for survivor spaces: Online communities. like subreddits, Discords, private groups, can help you feel less alone. But a lot of advice is U.S.-based. If you’re in Canada, double-check legal guidance locally before taking steps at work.

Build a layered team: A steady friend, a trained listener, a survivor community. Each offers something different, and together they give you options and a feeling of control when things feel chaotic.

Rule of Thumb: Caution is wise and boundaries are healthy. Taking your time doesn’t make you weak. it makes you smart. And if you can find even one person who helps you feel clear, grounded, and believed, that’s a solid start. The rest? You get to choose.

TL;DR = Partly covered in this nice article.

And a really solid Canadian-based Reddit for support with workplace sexual harassment.

clearly he doesn’t run the thing; it’s his agent or Rosie or some assistant.

sure enough, I got notices from at least 2 fake Rhys Darby accounts saying he wanted to talk to me.

good grief, I know my boy enough to know he doesn’t want to talk to a nobody like me. It’s not hard to figure out. He’s busy with family, his real life friends, and his work.

he doesn’t talk to rando fans without renumeration like his $500 for cameo, and again, it’s another major tell that he doesn’t contact strangers that way.

so…use your BRAIN! How much more mega stars like Keanu Reeves and Brad Pitt would not be courting some frumpy middle age fan girl.