#thetimecrystal

First Impression:

ADHD king, tbh. Thought his hair was a bit weird, though.

Impression Now:

He's such a fucking sweet golden retriever husband. Literal distillation of that phrase. Incredibly goddamn relatable. And an ADHD king, too!

Favourite Moment:

When he's married to you he admits that he misses his mom's fish casserole. He loves and misses his mom!

Idea For A Story:

...I'm literally halfway through writing a sequel fic where he and his husband/reader adopt a baby girl... sure, I've been working on it for best part of a year, but like...

Or, if you prefer; when Sam has married the reader with a couple of kids and Jojamart has gone tf under, he and the farmer hire Shane a handful of days a week as a general farmhand (but mostly to help with the chickens and other animals.) Sam often on his days working comes down to visit "Uncle Shane" and bother him, as Shane claims. Sam misses working with Shane and wants a little bit of the company again, lowkey misses pranking him and Shane you're good with kids right? Maybe the kids make some Pizza with Sam and they offer him in to come share it for his lunch. Maybe there's a surplus of hot chillies and the kids ask him to come pick them with him. And Uncle Shane we drawed pictures of you!

And it gets on Shane's nerves just a little bit- he's here to work and earn his keep and why are these toddlers running at his legs parroting UNCLE SHANE UNCLE SHANE and like it's nice feeding the hens and whatever but what the fuck Sam he's not your fucking babysitter he didn't sign up for that, why do the kids keep wanting to share thier lunch with him. Sam stop feeding them these fucking ideas he doesn't need you to pester him he's doing his job alright, he's fine, leave him alone, just let him gather the rabbit fur for the farmer to get woven and he'll empty the kegs and go home—

And what the fuck do you mean you're not telling your kids to call me that. What do you mean the kids are asking to spend time with me. I'm still not their babysitter- well yes okay you are always here supervising them, but can you supervise them elsewhere— What do you mean you and the farmer came up with the idea of a farmhand job to help me out some as well as spend some more time with me why the fuck would you want to do that. What do you even fucking mean it doesn't matter if I don't get all the kegs empty what the fuck was the point in hiring me then?? What do you mean it just means the farmer is able to come home from work before midnight more often okay fine that makes sense but. Okay serious answers now what do you mean you enjoy talking to me all you ever did was pull dumb jokes on me!!! What are you talking about you were trying to be my friend?!? What!? FARMER WHY ARE YOU AGREEING WITH HIM.

Or: Shane gets to realise that people, especially kids and his former coworker Sam, like and miss him, actually. As much as it might feel like a prank being pulled on him sometimes. And Shane gets used to the idea that someone can just. Genuinely want him around for him being him and he's allowed/ encouraged to bring Charlie and Jas over sometimes. Also just, as a way to help the farmer rebuild the economy a little further by providing jobs to some of the community who need them.

Unpopular Opinion:

Okay this kind of comes from like. Seeing playlists of like "Music Sam would listen to" or whatever and like. I guess it's kind of harmless but like.

Y'all have Sam listening to wayyyyyyyy too modern music. Like Pierce the Veil or whatever. Noooooooooo!

Stardew is set in like. The late 90s or early 2000s at the absolute latest. Look at the phones. The computers. Thier hobbies.

You can argue some of it is stylisation maybe, but like. No. This boy is not listening to fuckingggg anything released after like maybe 2003. Fucking maybe I'll be charitable and say 2005, because I think Sebastian would like Wings of A Butterfly by HIM. But that is the TOTAL, TOTAL LATEST. And even then, I think that's pushing it!! The Black Parade is not out yet!! Anything after 2010 is beyond out of the question. Put that shit away.

Give him some old school Green Day and The Offspring. Man needs a copy of Dookie to go in his cassette player. I will die on this hill.

Favourite Relationship:

With the player <3 I am rather partial to Sambastian, though! Also a massive sucker for the platonic relationship between him and Shane!

Favourite Headcanon:

As I don't know if it has ever been officially confirmed, Sam is an ADHD king x

Penny

First Impression:

Honestly, I don't know if I sound mean here- a bit boring? A bit basic? I mean, she was pretty, and sweet I guess, but like. I always befriend George pretty quickly- the only thing stopping me from being a grumpy old man just like him is the fact I'm 28. And, well, what Penny does in George's 2 heart event is, well, to entirely be blunt with you, assault.

I... didn't really care if the writing forgives her. Or claims that she "did a good thing" and did nothing wrong, if you tell her the obvious thing, which is she should have asked him first. Because that's the common sense thing to do!! Ask!! If he wants help!! Girl what.

Would it have been so difficult to just animate George rolling out of the way as Penny heads in closer to the mailbox?? You don't just push a wheelchair user out of your way, that is assault!

And maybe it's unfair of me, but I really held that against her for a while. It's a writing problem, I get that now- Penny didn't choose to do that, it was a writing choice. But the fact the wheelchair user then corrects you to essentially say "no she did a nice thing there" without addressing that you don't just push a wheelchair user out of your way... irked me.

It's an issue with the writing, not an issue with her.

Impression Now:

Penny is a lot more of a complicated character than I gave her credit for, back then. She's doing the best that she can whilst having a turbulent relationship with an alcoholic mother, and just trying to do the best that she can with what she has. She clearly wants what's best and dreams of a better life. She's clearly smart, given she's a fairly efficient teacher. She's sweeter than I gave her credit for.

Favourite Moment:

Once you've bought Pam a house and you've chosen not to tell them that you did it, Penny says that (the person responsible) didn't want them (her and Pam) to feel beholden to them. And she hugs her mom, and it's just. Super fucking sweet tbh. It's mature of her to say that, and she's clearly not like, that old?

And like. I really like that she and her mom hug, because their relationship is clearly pretty rocky sometimes, but they do care about each other.

Also, if you talk to her on the same day after it happens, she'll say that there's some really nice people out there in the world in this wistful kinda way. And like? I really like that? It's sweet.

Also side note you also get some of my favourite Evelyn dialogue, where she says with like a lil twinkle in her eye that she's pretty sure she knows who did it. I love you and your husband Evie, you're both so fucking sweet.

Idea For A Story:

A little grim or dark, maybe, but given my own it's a topic that I like seeing explored; I'm compelled by the idea of Penny having to come to terms with the idea of infertility for whatever reason. She makes it clear in one of her heart events that she wants a big family, and what that family means to her now and how shes going to build it. Does she adopt? Is it purely nuclear? Does she include Maru and the Mullners in that picture?

The aromanticism and the MRKH are speaking here for sure but it compells me.

Unpopular Opinion:

Okay, so I'm not so sure if this is an ""unpopular"" opinion but it's one I've seen held by a couple of large Stardew Valley YouTubers, and it gets under my skin. So lemme rant, for a moment. I have some additional thoughts, and those might be unpopular.

As a bachelorette, in Penny's ten heart event she'll confess to you that she's fallen head over heels for you, that you're really important to her, whatever. This is a private, intimate moment- you're alone with her in the bathhouse, it's romantic- and let me stress! Her ten. Heart. Event.

This is the point where you can marry her. Your girlfriend. In fact- in my Sebastian save, I married him before I ever triggered his ten heart event! The girl is head over heels for you, she's being open and vulnerable with you, she's made this romantic little plan where she's spilling her heart on the floor for you.

You of course have the option to pick the negative choice. "No Penny, I don't feel the same way..."

What you are essentially doing is leading her on with this little action, agreeing to go on a little romantic tryst, hang out with her whilst she's half naked, open and vulnerable. And then you stamp on her fucking heart. Basically saying, "Nah, Penny, I don't care about you or your feelings! I've been toying with you! I bought you the bouquet, strung you along, let you bare your soul for me, the person you're basically ready to marry now, but nah I don't like actually care haha."

If you do this, Penny cries, the scene ends, you drop down to four hearts and she is no longer your girlfriend.

Some. People. Think this is bad. Because Penny cries. When you break her heart. And that you go down to four hearts with her.

Excuse me?? No, seriously, EXCUSE ME? Let me remind you that at 3 hearts, you're considered a character's friend. You remain at FOUR. Getting mad that Penny considers you even a friend after pulling that crap? Jesus Christ, it reads as "I don't think that I should have consequences". Get fucked.

This reaction is nowhere near strong enough for what you essentially do to her. Ask me, you should drop down to zero. Penny should, by rights, fucking hate you. Because she's a fucking sweetheart, she'll still somehow call you her friend, after pulling that crap on her.

I AM SAYING THIS WITH MY WHOLE CHEST AS A WHOLE ASS AROMANTIC.

In fact, I think you should have more consequences for that. You should lose hearts with Pam too! Think about it for a moment- Pam lives in a ONE BEDROOM trailer and sleeps on a fucking SOFA to grant her daughter privacy. It's all she can afford.

Not gonna lie, Pam really isn't a good mom to her. She loses her temper at her when someone offers to help her, when Pam will literally ask you the same thing (do you want to come clean my house haha). She's compelling but not a great parent, she's got a difficult and turbulent relationship with her daughter, and she drinks away the little money she does have. She comes home drunk to pass out on the sofa, because that's all she's got.

She's gonna come home, and find her little baby girl sobbing herself senseless because the partner that she thought was looking after her fucking baby, in a totally above board and sweet relationship, has just ripped up her heart and her hopes and just. For what, even?

And don't tell me for a single fucking moment that Pam is gonna be even-keeled enough not to let her emotions show. She's a drunk desperate for something to make her happy. When you buy her a house, which she's certain will, she starts praying because she doesn't know why it still hasn't made her happy. She's looking for something to fill that hole inside of her. She wears her heart pretty damn openly, in some regards. She holds grudges. Don't tell me for a moment that as soon as Pam finds out that you've been a fuckboy or meangirl to her little baby, that she's not going to react, because you and I both know that I'm right.

You should lose hearts with Pam. Pam should be fucking pissed.

Favourite Relationship:

I'll be real with you; I'm not a big Penny shipper. Her most compelling relationships, I think, are with George and Evelyn Mullner (I don't like how they're written the whole time, but it's very clear that she cares about them!) and the complicated relationship between her and her mom Pam, as you might be able to guess.

Favourite Headcanon:

I like the idea of Elliott being involved in helping the children of the town with teaching the children to read or fostering a love of reading in them. Being the towns author and all, and Penny being thier teacher.

It's pretty simple, but Elliott spends a fair amount of time reading in the library, and naturally that's where Penny teaches. Maybe Jas, Vincent and eventually Leo read out loud to him sometimes.

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....some of these got a little bit long. Damn.