So I’ve been granted the wonderful task of being the “teacher” in my loved ones lives. Teaching everyone how to love, how therapy is necessary for us all & how out past traumas need to be faced to better our individual relationships with one another, how to have uncomfortable conversations that goes deeper than the surface level, allowing each person to speak with out interruptions ( The floor is yours ) & some restraint when it comes to being defensive, ANGER MANAGEMENT & a bunch of other shit I need therapy for my damn self, Reasons why I keep pushing so hard to find a good one. So many of my loved ones are broken & have swept it under the rug for the sake of survival & I mentally & emotionally can’t just survive of that. I’m not carrying the weight of my own pain & my loved ones as well, it’s crippling & exhausting. Thankfully I don’t have kids but I can’t fault the ones who had no choice but to survive because a little one ( like myself/siblings) is looking up to them, but I have the opportunity to make those changes before I birth anything & ima do whatever I can create an environment that promotes love, not survival. Not a take all I can, step on who ever, talk how ever I want to whoever any kind of way to secure self all in the name of survival. If we came from broken backgrounds in any form, IMO, it’s our job to curate better for ourselves, Not continue the cycle of trauma. I’m always going to start with myself but if I can bring my loved ones w me they needa get ready, ima heal no matter who tags along the fym.
