#thepipeline

Within just a few minutes, he got the annoying guys drink and returned to me, with a fresh glass of wine.  He was going to get a good tip, for sure.

ELIAS- “So before we were interrupted, I asked if you were single?”

JAKE- “Oh...yeah. Never actually had what you would call a boyfriend. I dated a few guys, and messed around, you know, but nothing serious.”

ELIAS- “Boyfriends are over-rated anyway.”

JAKE- “I suppose, and since coming here, I haven’t really met many guys that I had anything in common with. I mean most of the guys that come in here are older. I’m not really into older guys, not that there is anything wrong with dating an older guy, but just not my type.”

ELIAS- “So what is your type, Jake?”

JAKE- “You, know someone closer to our age. So what about you, I assume you’re single, if you think boyfriends are over-rated.”

ELIAS- “Single for a while now. Last one wasn’t what he seemed to be. Swearing off of them for now. Play the field, and just study. Don’t really have time for much else.”

JAKE- “I can imagine.  Law School isn’t easy I hear.”

ELIAS- “No, especially after taking almost a year and a half off. Speaking of getting off, what time do you get off work?”

JAKE- “LOL  I just opened.  I close tonight, 1:30.”

ELIAS- “I can hang around, if you don’t mind.”

JAKE- “Not at all.”

ELIAS- “I will tip you very well, I promise.” 

1:30 came around faster than it should have. Not sure if that was because I was pretty intoxicated by now, or if I was just enjoying pursuing Jake. Regardless of which reason, Jake was interested in me. After he locked up and cleaned up, he came over and sat down at one of the tables with me and started talking…

JAKE- “Normally I ask everyone to leave before I lock up, but I sensed you wanted to talk some more.”

ELIAS- “You sensed right. So what do you do for fun, Jake?”

JAKE- “Video games and I read a lot. I want to be a writer, so reading inspires me.  What about you, besides studying law?”

ELIAS- “I paint, and play a little piano. And I read a lot too. Never tried writing though, I don’t think I could put my ideas on paper to have them make sense for others to read or understand. And I doubt I would be any good with plot lines.”

JAKE- “I do pretty well until about halfway through a story and then it seems like I get stuck and can not make a conclusion to the plot.  It get’s very frustrating.”

I drank the Spiced Rum, then ordered a glass of white wine to wash it down. My routine. Don’t know why, just a habit. After the three beers I had at Club Zero, and the two more I just downed, I was beginning to feel the alcohol. Some guy sat down next to me and tried to start a conversation.  I just ignored him. I had my eye on Jake....

ELIAS- “Like I said, I’m, Elias, but most everyone calls me Eli. What is it about people shortening our names?” I know, not the best pick up line, but it had been awhile since I had done this.

JAKE- “Yeah...my Gran started it with me, and it just stuck.  Everyone in the family calls me Jake now too.  But it’s okay. So what brings you back to boring Willow Creek, I can’t imagine anyone wanting to move back here once they left.?”

ELIAS- “Long story, but my dad is here and he retired, so I came back here to finish school. I’m going to Goth Law School next fall, once I finish my degree. So do you go to school?”

JAKE- “Yeah, that is why I moved here, The college here has a great fine arts department.  I am originally from Brindleton Bay. Not much more exciting than here, I guess, but it is only temporary. And the tips here are good.”

ELIAS- “Whatever pays the bills right? So, I assume you are gay?”

JAKE- “Yeah, out and proud. Not that is does me any good here, not many gay men here my age in Willow Creek. Not many gay men at all actually, the pool here is a bit empty. Lots of lesbians though.”

ELIAS- “You single, Jake?”

once upon a time, AV Club wrote a thing or 2 about Sam Hyde -- over a span from ~2013-16, i managed to ignore the controversies less and less, until everyone and their brother got accused of being Nazis.

truly, the Simpsons predicted everything

which led to

more or less followed by

and ultimately