Disney parks / lore books that donāt exist but I desperately want,
Carousel of progress master book, art, iterations and the creation of it
Adventureland/ Jungle cruise / jungle navigation co. Lore book (thereās a LOT scattered through the attractions and restaurants you could compileā¦ šš)
Adventurers club history + lore book (I was too young to get to experience it as anything but references in Adventureland š)
S.E.A lore book about all the connecting attractions + figures (American parks need to decide if theyāre going to commit or not. For crying out loud itās in our water parks and cruise ships tooā¦ at the very least Iād like a spot to read attractions lore/characters)
Main Street U.S.A art book + the squares (New Orleans and Liberty)
Frontierland or something more with the thunder mining co (the comics actually slap)
The last of the SLG Haunted mansion comics or some more stuff with lore/character storiesā¦ be it for the attraction or the new movie just NOT the Kingdoms comics š
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One of these days I'm gonna do an out of the blue lore post on Holiday World's "66 Days At Sea" teaser campaign for Thunderbird and there's nothing any of you can do to stop me
What is the oblivion boat lore, explain if you know lmao?
The Oblivion boat show is honestly one of my FAVORITE PIECES of weird Alton Towers lore.
For two summers (1999-2000) Alton Towers featured a pyrotechnics show on the lake. It followed a Waterworld/Mad Max inspired plot about a band of post apocalyptic rebels defending a water purification plant from the forces of "The Oblivion Master". Water stunts and boats were performed by the Royal Marines and many explosions are/were had.
It's so ridiculous, so melodramatic, so OUT there and I love it SO MUCH for it. IMO the only crime the Oblivion Master commits is having his army fitted OUT I mean LOOK AT THIS:
I would commit SO MANY CRIMES to get a look at the original costume design sketches for this show.
I've only been able to find ONE recorded instance of the show and photos of it are practically nonexistent on the internet. The only one of substance being this comic (which we did a dramatic reading of for Coaster Lore, which was great fun)
I've done transcripts for the Mystic Timbers truck and the W.E.R.D. van, and now I think it's time to give you all a transcript for the queue video that plays in Flight of Fear!
Well...with nuance...
This isn't the same EXACT video as what presently plays in the ride, but rather what played in the queue back when Flight of Fear was The Outer Limits: Flight of Fear, so this transcript will still have all the Outer Limits stuff in it. I've put in notes for where those are, however!
So without further ado...
[Link to video I used for reference]
(Transcript below the cut)
-
[Video starts with the Bureau of Paranormal Activity network (re)booting up]
Dr. Leslie (Techlab): What happened?
Dr. Gruntzga (Anthro): Power surge.Ā Took out the net!Ā Aw, jeeze.Ā I lost all our data!Ā Hmm, strange, but-
Dr. Leslie: I canāt-Ā I canāt seem to remember what happened just now.
Astron Operative: Same here.Ā Itās like trying to remember a dream.
Major Joan Trenton: (*grunts*)Ā Everyone alright?
Patchbay: I feel like a hard drive thatās just been reformatted!
Major Trenton: Whatās his story?
Richard Christopher: I donāt think weāve met, Major...Trenton.Ā Richard Christopher, White House press liaison.Ā I was just on my way to inform the press that this whole āflying saucerā business is a- (*laughs*) well, a ridiculous hoax,
Major Trenton: Mr. Christopher-
Richard Christopher: Please!Ā Dick.
Major Trenton: Certainly.Ā May I remind you that this operation is Classified Level 1, and we donāt know if this thing is false or genuine.Ā We havenāt completed our testing yet...Dick.
Richard Christopher: Well, I believe Iāve seen all I need to know!Ā Excuse me, Major!
Sargent Gerber: That guy looks like trouble to me, Major.
Major Trenton: Oh, I think heās harmless enough.Ā Clear the area, Sargent.Ā No one should be in this hangar.Ā Patchbay, check the media feed.Ā See if you can pick up anything.Ā Iāll be in my office.
Patchbay: Okay.Ā Auto-reboot complete.Ā Cycling workstations on 10 meg.Ā Netās back online.Ā You guys let me know if youāre having any trouble.
Sargent Gerber: All stations secure, Major.Ā Situation normal.
Major Trenton: Alright, everyone.Ā Letās get back to it!Ā And letās try to be more careful this time.
Patchbay: Um.Ā Major?Ā Iām- Iām picking up something you might want to see.
Major Trenton: Whatās up, Patch?
Patchbay: Network news feed.Ā Weāre on coast to coast.
Major Trenton: Nothing new.Ā Theyāve been camped out there all day.
Patchbay: Uh, but Major, that Christopher guy is going out to talk to them.
Major Trenton: Heās doing what?Ā Put it on main, now Patch!
Patchbay: Yes, maāam!
Chelsea (News Lady): And continuing the story thatās caught the fancy of UFO buffs everywhere, thereās a new development out at Fort Cooper.Ā The normally-quiet base has been buzzing with activity since last night, when a number of local residents reported seeing mysterious bright lights in the sky.Ā Our John Adamson is on the scene, where a large crowd has gathered to demand access to the mysterious Hangar 18.Ā John?
John Adamson: Chelsea, itās...complete bedlam here!Ā Richard Christopher, the white house press liaison, is coming out to make a statement.Ā Letās see if we can get it.
Richard Christopher: Thank you.Ā Thank you all for coming here today.Ā Now as you know, there has been considerable speculation about Hangar 18 and its contents.Ā And so today, the White House is pleased to announce that weāve ordered a complete public disclosure of the entire situation.
[Richard Christopher is swarmed with questions]
One of the government workers (to Major Trenton): Whatās he doing?Ā Are you gonna let him get away with that?
Richard Christopher: Well, it is true that government operatives have discovered an object that appears to be a flying saucer-
[Reporters begin to ask him questions again]
Richard Christopher: Wait!Ā Wait!Ā Wait!Ā Listen!Ā Listen! Listen to me!Ā I said it appears to be a flying saucer.Ā However, after careful study, it is our conclusion that this is nothing more than an elaborate hoax by a local amusement park as a publicity stunt for their latest attraction!
[Reporters begin to question again]
Richard Christopher: And!Ā And!Ā And!Ā To demonstrate our confidence in this conclusion, Iāve authorized the public to enter the hangar and see this so-called spaceship for themselves!
Major Trenton: WHAT?
Reporter: Does the president have a statement?
Richard Christopher: Well, of course, this administration wants to make it perfectly clear that, uh, we have absolutely nothing to hide from the American public!
Major Trenton: Iām sorry to interrupt, Mr. Christopher, but youāre needed for an urgent security matter.
Richard Christopher: And furthermore, I- hey!
[Richard Christopher is dragged away from the crowd by Major Trenton back inside of the base]
Major Trenton: No comment!
John Adamson: Well, that was pretty abrupt.Ā But it looks like the public is finally going to find out about Hangar 18 for themselves.Ā Chelsea?
Richard Christopher: Alright, Major.Ā Whatās the urgent security matter?
Major Trenton: Itās you.Ā What were you doing out there?
Richard Christopher: Giving the American people the honest truth.Ā The truth they deserve!
Major Trenton: Save the spin, sir.Ā Youāre off the air.
Richard Christopher: Oh, now, come on, Major!Ā You donāt honestly think that thing out there is a real flying saucer, do you?
Major Trenton: I have no idea what it is, but until weāve completed our testing battery, Iām not authorizing the public to get anywhere near that thing!
Richard Christopher: Major Trenton?Ā Your authorization is no longer required.Ā Iāve been empowered by the President to come-
Major Trenton: Look, Mr. Christopher.Ā We donāt even go in the hangar during testing.Ā All of our equipment is automated.Ā Now, until we know itās safe, you canāt allow the public inside that hangar!
Richard Christopher: Theyāre already in, Major.
Major Trenton: ....what?
Richard Christopher: Well, see for yourself!
Major Trenton: Patchbay, Hangar View 6.Ā On the double.
[Both pause as they see the civilians inside of Hangar 18]
Major Trenton: Are you insane?Ā Thatās a quarantined area!Ā Those are civilians!
Richard Christopher: Oh, relax, Major!Ā Youāre taking this whole moon man thing a little too seriously, arenāt you?
Major Trenton: Fine.Ā Then youāre responsible for anything that happens to those people!
Richard Christopher: Whatever you say...
Dr. Gruntzga: Can you believe that?Ā Theyāre letting civilians into the quarantine area!
Astron Operative: We have no concrete proof that the ship is extraterrestrial.
Dr. Leslie: (*laughs*)Ā Are you kidding?Ā The spectrograph is doing backflips!Ā Look at this sample!Ā Subatomic particles demonstrate a specific gravity of 480.Ā But malleabilityās higher than gold!
Astron Operative: Meaning?
Dr. Leslie: Meaning: watch this!
[He presses a few keys and a laser is activated onto the sample, burning a hole through it]
Astron Operative: Canāt say Iām too impressed.
[The hole repairs itself]
Dr. Leslie: You canāt dent it, crease it, cut it, tear it, or burn it!
Dr. Gruntzga: While weāre at it, Leslie, take a look what Iāve got!Ā Hey, Patchbay!Ā Would you run my AJ37 File?
Patchbay: Stand by.
[The Kings Dominion Flight of Fear crop circles show on screen]
Dr. Gruntzga: Look at these crop marks.Ā Theyāre nothinā like the ones weāve seen before!Ā Thereās no evidence of human tampering, either!Ā No tool marks!Ā No footprints!Ā Interesting, huh?
Major Trenton: Attention on the net.Ā There are civilians in the hangar.Ā I repeat: we have civilians in the hangar.Ā Please continue remote testing, but proceed with extreme caution.Ā Stand by for station check in 30 seconds.
Richard Christopher: Oh, please Major!Ā You mean that your band of swammies and tea readers is still seriously examining that thing out there?Ā Now, I thought we had agreed itās an obvious fake!
Dr. Gruntzga: Excuse me Major.Ā Could you pick up your headset?
Major Trenton: [puts on headset] Yes, doctor?
Dr. Gruntzga: That guyās a yutz!
Major Trenton: [Smiles]Ā Thank you, doctor.Ā Anything else?
Dr. Gruntzga: Uh, yeah.Ā Come to think of it, they were asking for you down in receiving.
Major Trenton: Strange.Ā Weāre not expecting any deliveries today.
Richard Christopher: What was that all about?
Major Trenton: Staff Sergeant, run the station please.Ā Iāll be back in a minute.
[Station check begins]
Sergeant Gerber: Role call.Ā All stations, report in.
Richard Christopher: This, I have to see.
Sergeant Gerber: Station 101, report.
Dr. Leslie: Station 101.Ā Spectrographic and metallurgical tests 80% complete.
Sergeant Gerber: Station 102.
Morris: Structural analysis in progress.
Sergeant Gerber: Station 103.
Astron Operative: Iām correlating the landing site with possible arrival trajectories.
Sergeant Gerber: Station 104.
Dr. Gruntzga: Iām gonna open one of the sample jars.Ā In case anything happens, I want him indicted!
Sergeant Gerber: Very funny, sir.Ā Station 105.
Patchbay: Nothing unusual down here, Sarge, weāre online at-
[Screaming & glass breaking]
Sergeant Gerber: What the blazes was that?
Patchbay: It sounded like Gruntzga, Sarge.
Sergeant Gerber: Patchbay, Station 104 on the double.Ā Dr. Gruntzga?Ā Dr. Gruntzga, please respond.Ā Has anybody else seen Dr. Gruntzga?Ā Station 101?Ā I donāt like this.Ā Patchbay, initiative autoscan on my mark.
Richard Christopher: W-whatās going on, Sergeant?
Sergeant Gerber: Stay there, sir.Ā Weāll let you know if anything turns up.Ā Start sequence.
[Autoscan starts]
Richard Christopher: Um.Ā Hello?Ā Uh.Ā Anybody there?Ā Whereād everybody go?Ā Sergeant Gerber?Ā Major Trenton?Ā Hello?
[Thereās a shrieking scream while a monstrous creature appears on the CAPTURE screen.Ā Richard Christopher screams in fear]
Richard Christopher: [Screaming]Ā No!Ā Help!Ā Help!Ā Help!Ā Please come and save me!Ā If anyoneās listening, help me!Ā Help!
[The screen is pulled away to reveal the whole team in PATCHBAY.Ā Theyāre all laughing.Ā He shrieks again when Major Trenton taps him on the shoulder]
Richard Christopher: Iāll have your commission for this!Ā And no!Ā I donāt see anything funny about this!Ā This is a ridiculous waste of taxpayer dollars!Ā My reporters will-
[static & distortion]
Major Trenton: What was that?
Richard Christopher: Oh, very funny Major.Ā Fool me once, shame on you.Ā Fool me twice, shame on me.
Patchbay: Thatās a 15,000 Watt surge, Major!Ā Hope the UPS-
[Same static & distortion.Ā It completely cuts to what looks like a flashing orange tunnel of light & images.]
Major Trenton: Alright, Patchbay.Ā Get a fix on it-
Patchbay: Roger Major!
Major Trenton: -Gruntzga, fire up your language algorithm.Ā See if there was anything decipherable in that.Ā Morris, scan the saucer for any state changes.
Dr. Gruntzga: You got it.
Richard Christopher: That- that- that saucer isnāt dangerous is it?Ā All those people...Ā I-if it explodes or something!
Major Trenton: Relax, Mr. Christopher.Ā This is what weāre good at.Ā Staff Sergeant, code yellow.Ā Put your crew on standby!
Sergeant Gerber: Already done, Major.
Major Trenton: Good man.Ā Moris, what have you got for me?
Morris: Iām checking now, Major.Ā Iām picking up some kind of surface anomaly on the ship.Ā Itās, uh...hang on.Ā There!Ā Just behind the southwest leg!
Major Trenton: Alright, get down there and check it out.Ā Patchbay, take a remote unit down there.Ā Staff Sergeant, meet him behind the saucer.Ā Might as well.Ā Weāve already broken the quarantine.
Patchbay: On my way!
[The three enter Hangar 18 -which we can see through a screen titled āREMOTEā - & go to the UFO]
Morris: Okay.Ā Weāre under the saucer.Ā Look under here.Ā Iāve been over this thing every inch 11 times!Ā Iāve never seen this before!
Patchbay: Hm.Ā Looks like one of our communications jacks.Ā This is a fiber optic connector!
Dr. Gruntzga: How the sam hill would they know what kind of connectors we use?
Major Trenton: Only one way to find out.Ā Patchbay?
Patchbay: Alright.Ā Hang onto your seats, boys and girls!
[Patchbay connects to the jack.Ā The screen shows a red tunnel with images flashing along the sides.
Morris: Gruntzga!Ā Can you capture this?
Dr. Gruntzga: Iām trying!Ā Iām trying!Ā Stand by for capture!Ā On...my...MARK!
[The video - subtitled āVID CAPā - shows footage of a red planet, the sun, the moon, and then Earth]
Richard Christopher: Good lord...
Major Trenton: Sergeant, full alert.Ā Be ready for anything.
Dr. Leslie: That was incredible!Ā Did you see that?
Sergeant Gerber: All units, full alert.Ā I repeat, full alert!
Dr. Gruntzga: I got it!Ā I got it!Ā Itās maxing out the system, but itās in there!
Richard Christopher: No!Ā NO!
Major Trenton: Christopher!Ā Come back here!Ā Attention everybody, Mr. Christopher is on the loose.Ā Keep an eye out for him.
Dr. Gruntzga: He just ran by!Ā Hey, pal!Ā Stop!Ā You canāt go in there!
Richard Christopher: I gotta stop it!Ā I GOTTA STOP IT!
Sergeant Gerber: Calm down, sir.
Richard Christopher: There are civilians inside that thing right now!
Major Trenton: Inside.Ā What is he talking about?
Richard Christopher: I authorized the public to go through the ship!
Major Trenton: What?Ā Inside the ship?
Richard Christopher: I thought it was a phony!Ā I didnāt know!
Major Trenton: Patchbay, is he telling the truth?
Patchbay: Iām afraid so, Major.Ā Theyāre going right in!
Major Trenton: Sergeant, take some men and get those civilians out of there.Ā I want-
Richard Christopher: What have I done!?
Major Trenton: No!
[Richard Christopher grabs the jack and gets electrocuted.Ā He screams, and the whole system glitches out and goes down.Ā Static begins to fill the black screen.]
[NOTE: THIS SECTION BELOW, WHICH STARTS AT 11:27 IN THE VIDEO, IS NOT IN THE CURRENT VIDEO THAT IS SHOWN IN THE QUEUE FO FLIGHT OF FEAR AT KINGS ISLAND, AND WAS REMOVED AFTER FLIGHT OF FEAR DROPPED ITS āOUTER LIMITSā THEMING.Ā I WILL STILL TRANSCRIBE IT, BUT BE AWARE THAT THIS DOES NOT APPEAR IN THE PARK.Ā THERE WILL BE ANOTHER NOTE LIKE THIS WHEN IT RETURNS TO WHAT DOES APPEAR IN THE PARK.]
Unknown Voice, presumably an alien: There is nothing wrong with your equipment.Ā Do not attempt to adjust the picture.Ā We are now controlling the transmission.Ā We can control the horizontal....and the vertical.Ā We can deluge you with a thousand channels.Ā Or expand one single image to crystal clarity....and beyond.Ā You may not interfere with our communications.Ā We repeat: there is nothing wrong with your computer system.Ā For the next few moments, we will control all that you see and hear.Ā Please stand by.
[NOTE: AS OF THE TIMESTAMP 12:13, WE HAVE RETURNED TO WHAT IS SHOWN IN THE PARK/IN THE RIDE'S QUEUE VIDEO.]
[The screen comes back, but it has a red, glitchy filter over it as a message at the bottom reads āEMERGENCY POWERā]
Major Trenton: All stations!Ā Report in!Ā Who has power?
Patchbay: The netās toast, Major!
Sergeant Gerber: This guyās still locked in the cable, what should we do?Ā Over.
Major Trenton: Iām on my way, stay put until I
[The screen wipes, and we see a galaxy]
Unknown Voice, presumably an alien: Imagine a world where the imperfections of human existence are a thing of the past.Ā Where hunger and poverty are unknown.Ā Where everything is beauty, tranquility, and peace.Ā Where we can shape your experience to anything our imagination can conceive.Ā This then is our invitation.Ā Come with us.Ā Enter our vessel.Ā Follow our path across the cosmos.Ā And discover that which lies beyond this mortal sphere.Ā You are about to experience the awe and mystery, which reaches from the deepest inner mind to...The Outer Limits.
[NOTE: THIS FINAL SENTENCE ("You are about to experience the awe and mystery, which reaches from the deepest inner mind to...The Outer Limits.") HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE VIDEO AT THE PARK FOR THE SAME REASON AS THE REMOVED SECTION ABOVE.Ā I WILL KEEP IT HERE FOR THE SAKE OF TRANSCRIBING THE WHOLE VIDEO, BUT KNOW THAT THIS LINE DOES NOT PRESETNLY APPEAR IN THE VIDEO SHOWN AT THE PARK.]
[The team pulls Richard Christopher from the cable, disconnecting it and shutting down the net.Ā The video loop begins again here.]
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I never expected to see another tumblr user know abt the forbidden frontier characters and lore!!!! Itās been my hyperfixation for a couple years now and Iām so sad that itās not more well known. Keep spreading the good word!!
I never expected to see another Tumblr user who knows about the Forbidden Frontier lore and characters either!!!! It's good to know I'm not the only one here who knows about it, much less finding someone else who's fixated on it!!!
Oh Forbidden Frontier on Adventure Island, my beloved...
It's been a few of days, but I return to you once more on the Kings Island lore side of things, this time with the promised transcript of the entire loop of the W.E.R.D. Radio van outside of the Area 72 entrance/archway!
This van, to be specific!
[Link to video I used for reference]
-
[Static, followed by jingle]
IBS News Announcer: This is the IBS World News Service.Ā All eyes are focused today on the secluded US military base as speculation raised concerning secret government operations.Ā Anthony Andrews, reports from America.
Anthony Andrews: Once the most secret of all US bases, has recently become the focus of international attention and controversy.Ā Local residents claim to have seen strange lights in the sky and mysterious nocturnal activity around the base.Ā Joey Finneran is a wheat farmer.Ā His field lays adjacent to the base:
Joey Finneran: It was about 10:00 last night.Ā I-I was sitting in the bed.Ā All of a sudden, BANG!Ā I thought it was one of them sonic booms, but it was a heck of a lot louder, you know?Ā When I looked out the window, I thought a fighter jet had gone down in the back 20 ācause it looked like the whole farm was on fire.Ā But, when I run out there, the light was gone and thereās these- these crazy pictures burned in the field.
Anthony Andrews: What kind of pictures, Mr. Finneran?
Joey Finneran: Crazy, I said!Ā Youāre welcome to see for yourself as soon as them government people is finished.Ā Come back tomorrow and Iāll show you!
Anthony Andrews: That interview was recorded yesterday, but when we returned today to see Finneranās field, we received a very different response:Ā
Joey Finneran: Nah, Iām sorry.Ā I donāt know what youāre talking about.
Anthony Andrews: So you never saw any lights in the sky?Ā Never had any strange patterns burned into your crops or anything?
Joey Finneran: Well of course not!Ā Thatās ridiculous!
Anthony Andrews: Well, do you mind if we take a look at the field?
Joey Finneran: Go right ahead!Ā I just plowed it under this morning!
Anthony Andrews: Oh, I...I see, and is that your new combine harvester parked next to your barn, Mr. Finneran?Ā Would you like to comment on that please, sir?
Joey Finneran: I think y'all better go now.
Anthony Andrews: Since then, news media and curiosity seekers have descended on the once-secret base, demanding that the government reveal what it knows.Ā Speculation centers around Hangar 18, the main structure on the base, and its classified contents.Ā Major Joan Trenton is post commander at Fort Cooper.Ā She joins us in a telephone interview.
Anthony Andrews: Now, Major, what about the activities of the past few days?Ā It seems like something big is going on in there.
Major Trenton: Fort Cooper is a Level 1 Classified installation which deals with matters of national security.Ā I have no comment on any of our activities at this time.
Anthony Andrews: Well then, what can you tell us about Department 47, the secret government task force reportedly stationed under your command?
Major Trenton: I have no comment on any of our activities at this time.
Anthony Andrews: This silence from the base and the accompanying media outcry has brought a swift response from the administration which insists thereās nothing to hide.Ā White House spokesperson, Richard Christopher:
Richard Christopher: The president has assured me that nothing will be withheld from the American people without justified cause.Ā I will personally visit the base today and if thereās no direct threat to public safety, we will order full and immediate disclosure.
Anthony Andrews: And so the media and the world wait for the administration to decide whether the mysterious contents of Hangar 18 will be revealed to the public.Ā For IBS, Iām Anthony Andrews.
IBS News Announcer: This is the IBS World News Service.
[Jingle, then static]
National Weather Service: With the winds out of the east at 14 miles per hour, itās currently 75 degrees.
(Jingle) āW.E.R.D. - WERD Radio!ā
Herb Hollands: Hey, hey hey!Ā And welcome back, everybody!Ā Sorry about that interruption, but the National Weather Service tells us that weāre experiencing some unusually heavy sunspot activity today!Ā Iām your host, Herb Hollands, here taking your calls about the mysterious goings-on out at that super-secret military base just outside of town.Ā But just before the break, we were talking to Virgil in Richmond!ā
Virgil: Yeah, Herb, itās perfectly obvious whatās going on in there!
Herb Hollands: And, uh, whatās that, Virgil?
Virgil: Theyāve got machines, theyāve got the technology, theyāre obviously building a tunnel through to China!
Herb Hollands: Well, youāre not the first caller to suggest that today, Virgil!Ā But wouldnāt a trans-planet tunnel be prohibitively expensive, not to mention, well, just darn hot?
Virgil: Uh, very good question.Ā I have a very good answer, Herb.Ā Air conditioning!Ā $3.99 right now at Virgilās Hardware!
Herb Hollands: *laughs*Ā Well, alright!Ā Thank you Virgil!
Virgil: How do I do it?
Herb Hollands: Next caller!
Virgil: Volume!
Herb Hollands: Thank you, Virgil!Ā And this is Al in Cincinnati!
Al: Herb!Ā Dude!Ā Love the show!Ā Long-time listener, first-time caller!
Herb Hollands: Thanks, babe.Ā Do you have a comment?
Al: Yes, Herb, I do.
Herb Hollands: ...and, that would be?
Al: This is clearly the work of anti-American forces working to overthrow our government by sedition and violence.
Herb Hollands: *laughs* But itās a government base, Al!
Al: Exactly, man!
Herb Hollands: Okay, yeah, thanks for the call, Al!Ā Next on the line, everybody, we have David in Charlotte, North Carolina, queen city of the south.Ā Hello, Dave!Ā Talk to me!
David: Herb?
Herb Hollands: Uh huh?
David: Iām gettinā a little tired of all these wackos a callinā in.
Herb Hollands: You and me both, Dave!
David: I mean, itās so obvious, I donāt even know why weāre talkinā about it!
Herb Hollands: Fill me in, babe.
David: Flyinā cows...
Herb Hollands: Uh huh.
David: Flyinā cows!Ā Come on, Herb!Ā Like you aināt never seen āem!Ā Come on!Ā Whole herds of them big suckers!Ā Chewinā their cud, hoverinā over the interstate...
Herb Hollands: Well, okay Dave!Ā Thanks for-
David: Oh, and believe me!Ā You donāt let your car get under one of them cows...
Herb Hollands: And this is Jane, everybody, who says she just got back from the base, and that itās...what Jane?
Jane: Pretty scary.
Herb Hollands: In what way, Jane?
Jane: Well- well look at the craters and scorch marks!Ā And...and the people coming and going from the base, theyāre not soldiers!Ā Theyāre astronomers, sociologists, and politicians!
Herb Hollands: Uh huh.
Jane: Now, look at the events of the last 24 hours.Ā 11.Ā Separate.Ā Unrelated reports to the police department of strange noises and lights in the sky!
Herb Hollands: What youāre saying then, Jane, is...
Jane: Well, I...Ā I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but I think that they discovered some kind of extraterrestrial-
[static begins to cover her words]
Herb Hollands: Iām sorry, Jane.Ā I didnāt get that last part.Ā Jane?Ā Jane?!Ā Well, that certainly was weird!Ā But thatās okay because so are we!Ā W.E.R.D. Radio!
Jingle - WERD Radio!
Herb Hollands: Hey, weāre obviously experiencing some technical difficulties at this time everybody, so!Ā Please stand by!
[Cutoff, static]
[3 taps on the mic]
???: Hey, hey!Ā Testing!Ā This is a message from your trusted podcaster from waaay underground, but closer than you think!Ā For those of you listening - especially those in southwest Ohio - pay attention!Ā Gonna cover a little topic about the infamous Area 72!Ā Yep!Ā The one and only!Ā And Iām the only one talking about it!Ā Youāre only gonna hear it from me!Ā Because Iām the only one trying to get at the truth!Ā People wonāt listen because I got too much data!Ā And itās too hard to believe!Ā Or theyāre afraid of believing it!Ā Iām sick of it!Ā I donāt know everything thatās going on inside Area 72, but I do know this: I have good people, connected people, inside people, telling me: yes; itās much more than you know!Ā Keep going!Ā Itās going to come out!Ā And it is starting to come out!Ā Itās all real!Ā My guyās transmissions from inside Area 72 are reaching me, now!Ā And itās aaaall Egypt, and itās aliens, and itās everything else!Ā You know about Egypt, right?Ā Egypt was proof!Ā Thereās no way they built those pyramids, let alone position them precisely to align with the stars in Orionās belt, and the North Pole!Ā Thatās CRAZY!Ā IMPOSSIBLE!Ā They wouldāve needed insight into science, math, and astronomy that we only have today!Ā Right?Ā OR!Ā Or did they have help from who know it even better than we know it today?Ā *snorts*Ā The evidence?Ā Itās there!Ā And itās so obvious, and so all over the internet, that everyone thinks itās gotta be a hoax!Ā Well!Ā Most people.Ā But Iām not most people!Ā And neither are my insiders!
???: Now again, this is not my āopinion.āĀ This is from REAL RESEARCH!Ā I have talked to everybody about how theyāve actually got aliens in Area 72 with astronaut-level people diving into what these aliens and alien crafts are all about!Ā And no, not just alien bodies!Ā Iām talking aliens!Ā Alive!Ā Captive aliens!Ā Theyāre down there, living - somehow - in a kind of semi-hibernation-like existence!Ā But able to be engaged!Ā And weāre- well, the government - is getting knowledge from them with these breakaway rogue intelligence agencies, working nonstop to unlock the secrets of the universe!Ā See, people just need to understand!Ā Iāve known about this for a long time!Ā The government says that people arenāt ready for this!Ā That it will cause panic!Ā Make them lose their minds!Ā Lead to collapse of the economy and...everything!Ā But scientists have proven that your brain is capable of working in the fourth, fifth, sixth dimension!Ā And if you can, you can look beyond it!Ā Hereās the whole story that theyāre trying to keep from you!
???: I happen to know for a fact that Area 72 has been housing a top secret research program for decades called āProject Xā - what the insiders call the Orion Sequence - and that theyāre recruiting citizen volunteers to come to Area 72 for some sort of testing program!Ā Testing WHAT?Ā You know what I think?Ā I think they want to use people as their guinea pigs!Ā Thatās right!Ā And I donāt know how they recruit, who gets this special invite, or what happens if youāre invited and say, āNuh huh, sorry!āĀ You think theyāre just gonna let you take a hard pass and thatās it?Ā I donāt believe it!Ā No, no, no!Ā *laughs*Ā Not for one second!Ā Donāt open any weird emails!Ā Ignore those strange calls and voicemails!Ā Donāt, DONāT GO!Ā People!Ā Stay away!
???: And for anybody doubting me, why would I spend this time, risk my life, and the lives of those close to me?Ā No!Ā *pfft*Ā This isnāt about money!Ā I donāt need anybodyās money!Ā This has already cost me more than money could make up!Ā Losing family and friends who just!Ā Donāt!Ā Get it!Ā This is about the truth!Ā Area 72 is real, and Iām the only one looking at whatās really been going on!Ā Who understands!Ā Politicians come and go.Ā Researchers come and go!Ā Some are good, some are bad.Ā The whole power structure has been against us for a very serious reason, but weāre bringing down this whole global system!Ā You and me!Ā And thatās why everythingās breaking loose!Ā I just want my listeners to know.
???: Iām not some hack!Ā A hack wouldnāt have noticed one of the first human inversion testing with Vortex.Ā A hack wouldnāt have caught them hiding evidence about the controversial Firehawk Space Test Pilot Project!Ā A hack wouldnāt see how this is aaall being continued under the authority of the Orion Sequence!Ā So no!Ā Iām no hack!Ā Iām a truth-teller!Ā But yeah, I get it.Ā Sometimes people donāt wanna hear the truth!Ā No one apparently!Ā But itās finally time to take a chance and start taking some leaps over conventional thinking and believing!Ā You with me, folks!Ā Yeah!
???: Itās like all the meteor storms that are supposed to miss our planet.Ā So, whatās with all the reports about these tiny meteorites coming down?Ā Do you remember these from last year?Ā Of course!Ā This is somehow tied to the Orion Sequence, and the citizens research testing program.Ā I donāt know how - yet - but Iām gonna find out!Ā This is just the beginning of something they wonāt be able to cover up anymore!Ā Right here!Ā In Mason, Ohio!Ā Did you hear that explosion the other day?Ā Did you see that cloud of dust?Ā Yeah!Ā That was no power grid failure!Ā No sir!Ā You see, I think those meteors arenāt gonna miss us like they said they would, I think theyāve already started hitting us!Ā And the best thing you can do is to get underground!Ā STAT!Ā Thatās where I am!Ā Yep!Ā Safe and snug in my secret bunker with a few select compadres!Ā Whoo hoo!Ā Do not volunteer for any training project!Ā Howās that gonna help you?Ā Stick with us and future transmissions, and stay low!Ā UNDERGROUND!Ā This is where Iām gonna stay until- [the audio starts to buzz for a moment] -wait.Ā Did you hear that?Ā Iām gonna check.Ā DID YOU SEE IT?Ā HOW CLOSE WAS IT?Ā Folks, I, uh, Iām signing offĀ Iāll talk to you all tomorrow.Ā Hopefully.
WHERE THE HELL ARE ALL THE BLOG POSTS FROM BEFORE YOU CHANGED THE SITE???
YOU ONLY CARRIED OVER 9 POSTS FROM THE OLD KINGS ISLAND BLOG??? AND YOU'VE APPARENTLY ASSIMILATED IT INTO ALL THE OTHER PARKS' BLOG POSTS?
WHY???
DID YOU THINK NOBODY WAS READING THEM OR SOMETHING???
NEWSFLASH: I READ THEM!!! I USE THOSE TO HELP ARCHIVE PARK HISTORY AND FACT-CHECK MYSELF WHEN MAKING MY LORE POSTS!!!
AND I'M TRYING TO USE THEM NOW TO WRITE ABOUT ADVENTURE PORT!!!
BUT APPARENTLY YOU DIDN'T DEEM 2023 - OR ANYTHING SEEMINGLY NOT FROM THIS YEAR - WORTHY ENOUGH TO KEEP AROUND???
...sorry, I'm a bit peeved as you can tell. Details of amusement park history can be really hard to find, and even something as simple as a blog post from a couple years ago can go a LONG way in helping document that history.
It's a good thing that I do this kind of thing for fun, or I would have probably given up a while ago with how much effort I've had to put in and impromptu deep dives I've had to do while trying to finding sources to back up the stuff I know for this whole Adventure Port and Adventure Express post.
