I'm really enjoying their new show???

Thirst is a horror-comedy ensemble about a couples Reality TV competiton set following an environmental collapse that precipitated (da-dum) something referred to vaguely as The Water Wars.

It's a show whose twist you'll probably see coming in episode one, and yet listening to that twist unfold has been surprisingly creepy and fun every week. And the in-universe theme song is a great little pastiche.

Also given this has been a Woe.Begone recap blog lately, I think it's saying something that I actually put that show on hold for most of a week to catch up on Thirst.

Album: Will of The People by Muse

I started getting really bad lucid dreams (?). I usually called it dream prison or something like that.

it usually happened when I Knew I Had Somewhere To Be when I woke up

classic dream where you get all ready to go and start your day only to wake up and realize it was all just a dream.

except. it just kept going. I just kept waking up. every layer i would go "righhttt. THIS is reality. THIS is what reality FEELS like." just full alertness in my own body, only for it to be ripped from me again. I was capable of pain and sensation, stupid pinch trick wouldn't work on me.

I would usually get like 7-8 layers deep before finally actually waking up

I would mentally fight to wake up and get ready for what felt like HOURS only to sleep in anyways, stuck inside my own head. it was very... disheartening.

I remember one time. the loop would go something like, wake up get ready, go to school, tell friends about weird dream, and then it would devolve into whatever and repeat

probably around 5-6 loops in i broke down and started crying.

i was just tired! i wanted to be awake! i wanted any of my actions to have meaning! permanence!

crying in a dream is weird. i think i do it more than i do in real life. it's weird as your subconscious starts to act independent of itself.

i got up, i went to school, i talked to my friends, i already know they arent real. thats when i started crying. and my dream friends are so kind, my psyche trying to console itself, they ask me whats wrong

but i am so damn tired of explaining myself. it wont matter. i will just have to do it again the next loop.

and one of them speaks gently to me, he isn't phased when i tell him he isnt real.

he tells me it's okay. even if he isnt real, even if it wont amount to anything, talking about it might still help.

and it did. we laid in the grass and i told him how scared i was getting, that my grip on reality was getting looser, that despite my best efforts i was going to be late. i was never going to be a good student and i wasnt even good at being a real person.

i dont remember what his response was, but even through the dream haze i have a crystal clear memory of him looking at me kindly while i talked.

im not friends with that guy anymore. i want to say it was growing pains and physical distance. but it was much more messy and harsh. i cant even say who was hurting who. we were both just done and after a lot of arguments and claw marks we both walked away and never looked back

i reached out about a month ago, just to clear the air. i knew it probably wasnt a good idea for us to be friends again, never mind brothers, but i didnt like the idea of his final memory of me being the mean and nasty person i had ended things as.

because maybe when i think of him im still thinking of us laying in the grass as he sits there and listens to me cry

its one of the most meaningful human interactions ive ever had.