#their lives

Why that was necessary was beyond Noelle, since the knights already were on good terms with nobility, given how most of the knights were nobility themselves. But she supposed that it was … just a custom, just a way things were.

Another matter was why she had to be there. Since wouldn’t it have been better for the higher ranking, older knights to be there. Because there was hardly a benefit in having the younger knights, of lower military rank, attending, right? Though Vanessa had asked if she wasn’t at least a little bit intrigued by what was going to happen at the event. So, maybe that was the point. Just showing her, and her other fellow knights, just what these events were about.

And she should’ve been one of the most… at ease with situations such as these, because she was royalty. But. She wasn’t. Because there was again that all too familiar atmosphere of judgement around, even if she was more comfortable now than before.

There were just too many memories trying to surface all at once. And she couldn’t help it. The feeling of a weight collecting onto her chest, even if she knew that she’d be alright. Her friends were there, and she was sure that her siblings would… they’d be better too. Perhaps they wouldn’t jump to her rescue quite as promptly as the Bulls, but they’d be better about it. Because they were trying to work it out. They were trying to pick up the pieces and become a family again.

But still, the feeling remained.

She couldn’t stay still, just standing at the corner of the room. The answer as to why she couldn’t, the official reason, was that she was royalty, and she was supposed to make rounds, be present. But the genuine, real reason was that she felt much too restless. She needed to move around.

Perhaps she should have listened to the conversations around too. Perhaps. Keep an ear open. Maybe. That was an unspoken … custom, of the noble circles. You listen. To what people say, and more importantly what they don’t say. Who’s ‘whit it’ and who’s not. That collection of dresses from two months ago? Why are you still talking about it? To compare it to a much better one? Passable. You think it’s still better than the new ones? Unforgivable.

Just a bunch of dumb things. Unimportant things. An affair. A marriage. An RSVP too late. The usual. The meaningless. And somehow, the important.

Until something caught her ear. Even if she wasn’t listening. She wasn’t but still the…

“The Silva’s? If you ask me the House is in shambles. And I blame Acier for it.”

The statement was spoken with a whisper, clearly meant for the ears of just one other person. That wretched stream of… no, web of nothing but toxins. And she-, couldn’t-

She didn’t realize that her head turned towards the sound, the speaker, even if she didn’t recognize them by name. She didn’t realize. All she felt, was the weight on her chest growing, and growing.

Her mana went along with it as she just stared. At the person. Claiming that their family was the way it was, because of her mother. Which was NOT TRUE.

And sure, they might have been just broken people, trying to heal, but at least they were trying to! And he-, made it sound like a shame. Like an embarrassment.

“Mother was not weak!” She yelled, failing to realize that the walls around her were bending.

Mana, as if the tides of the deepest oceans, roaring around her.

She didn’t realize that she was still staring.

There were voices calling out to her. A hand being placed onto her shoulder. She couldn’t distinguish what the voices told her, but she was sure that they were directed at her.

It must’ve been.

They must’ve been. Even if they were distant.

Coming closer.

“Noelle!”  

There was a weight on both of her shoulders, and a pair of mauve eyes looked at hers.

She blinked, and felt how her muscles were tense. So, she took a deep breath, and tried to let the tension seep into the floor, as much as she could.

“Sorry, Nozel-oniisama,” she mumbled under her breath. To which Nozel nodded, just once, but he did. They’d need to talk about this, what she had heard, and how she felt, but it wasn’t now, and t wasn’t here.

And yet Nozel turned around, looking at the man who had, apparently, made a comment about their mother being weak. “Our mother was not weak. The house of Silva, is not weak. And if you care to differ, perhaps we should put your power to the test.” His tone was cold, distant, filled with the winter frost Noelle had felt once upon a time.