#theimpossiblemadepossible

Although, I’m sure this blog can apply to both male and female of all different ages, I believe most twenty-something year old females will relate the most to this. So ladies, this one’s for you!!! But if you feel like if what I have to say applies and helps you, then it’s for you too!!!

I’m sure we’ve all heard that infamous fable. You know the one about the hare and the tortoise? If not, it goes a little like this:

My parents told me this story numerous times growing up. To a child’s ear, it’s just that, a story. A story like all the fairy tales told to young girls. You know the ones like the prince saving the damsel in distress, the three little pigs and Goldilocks. But as I’ve gotten older, I have realized that those stories actually hold some major truths in this day and age. Personally, the Hare and the Tortoise fable has never been more relatable until now.

If you’ve been following my blog for a while now, you have read about my journey on applying, wait listing and being rejected to medical school. It has been a 23 year journey full of ups and downs and with this recent re-course of my life I figured why not share my two cents in this crowded society.

I’m not sure when it happens but somewhere in growing up (in this day and age) we are instilled to be the fastest, strongest and brightest. At first, it doesn’t seem like a harmful mentality to set in a young child but as the years go on and this motto is set. It can really take hold of the entire person.

Gone are the days that the majority of the population will be unplugged from society. I MEAN UNPLUGGED. I’d say that for most women in their 20s (like myself) they tend to be on their phones at all times except when sleeping. In general, we no longer sit on park benches, walk the track, or read in silent solitude. At all times, we are on the go. We answer work emails from our phones. We order our groceries online to do curbside pickup. We “call” cars to pick us up and take us to our destination through an app. We even upload our checks through our bank apps. Have we really become that busy that we no longer have time to talk, grocery shop, wave a cab down or talk to a bank teller anymore?

It doesn’t seem as detrimental as I’m trying to prove but let me show you what I mean. You see with everything else in our lives in a constant rush on how to do everything faster and being told be the fastest, strongest and brightest. It’s natural and only human that even our dreams should be the same way. They should be the grandest dreams ever made and done at lightning speed! But, is that really setting ourselves up for success?

On the contrary, I think it’s one of the main reasons why so many young women are battling depression. From my personal experience and from the stories told to me by close family and friends, I have realized that this mentality of a rushed society might be at the core of this depression epidemic.  And no, I don’t mean sad days. I mean heart wrecking, family tearing, and soul crushing depression that creeps in and changes the very being of WHO YOU ARE!

You see as the years go by and the dreams grow grander and closer. The disappointment of not achieving them on “your set time frame” can really alter your world. The post-grad depression that many of us experience is not talked about nearly enough. We all struggle silently afraid to be judged for “failing” at our dreams or taking some time to re-evaluate. We are embarrassed and ashamed to say we’ve been detoured. We are afraid to be vulnerable and show how we are struggling because society and the media has put this image that we NEED to be perfect all times.

Pretty girl, let me tell you something if someone hasn’t told you this in a while or ever…you’re fearfully and wonderfully made!

Psalm 139:14

For over two years, I’ve been learning to what it means to love myself again for me. Some days are brighter than others, but as my trust in Him grows so does the consistency of my days. Jesus didn’t create us to be complacent beings. In fact, He created us to manifest His greatness and majesty. As you begin to realize this, you’ll see how your dreams and desires don’t have an expiration date. Society might tell you that your time is up, but God has said “the pain that you’ve been feeling can’t compare to the joy that’s coming.”

Romans 8:18

And to those who say, “I’ve been doing the work. I’ve been sowing. I haven’t given up, but God just doesn’t seem to show up.” Trust me. I can relate but do you know what the Bible says?

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

Hebrews 12:11

The daily work that you don’t equate to work towards your end goal isn’t out of vain. What if God is using this pause in your life to teach you things for when you DO get to where you get to? What if the connections you’re making now are the relationships that cultivate your future career? What if your no’s propel you to become the greatest version of yourself?

Personally, God has never been more real than when I was denied acceptance to medical school. I questioned who I was and what my purpose was. Because of this, I sought Christian counseling. Out of the sessions I have attended, one of the biggest take aways was: “Your profession is not your purpose.”

As much as I desire medicine, a weight was lifted off my shoulders when I heard this. I couldn’t fathom doing anything else with my life and I still do believe with all my heart that I will save physical lives one day, but until then I believe (because the Bible tells me so) that my purpose right now and always is to save spiritual lives by bringing them to Christ.

So pretty lady, let me tell you. You are beautiful. You are valued. You are perfect. You lack nothing. You were created for a purpose. You matter. And you are not out of time, God knows exactly where you are going. Do you trust Him?

 I know sharing your story with depression, anxiety and doubt can be scary…trust me, I know. But, it’s in these moments of vulnerability, that you discover your true purpose and calling in life. Use these moments of discouragement as stepping stones to build your testimony of strength and trust. Use your testimony to bring lives to Jesus Christ.

 Resources:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

With all her love,

An exhausted but trusting tortoise 

Sources:

1.     http://read.gov/aesop/025.html

Have you ever asked yourself: “How did I get here?” It could be because of anything-school, career or family. I have. I asked myself this question in June 2016, when my clothes were no longer fitting me. I don’t mean I gained a casual 5 pounds, but I mean 40 pounds since graduating high school! I can recall that day so clearly. I was getting out of bed, getting ready to start my day. I walked to my closet and pulled about five different bottoms to discover none fit. I nearly cried. How did I let myself go so bad? I settled on a Maxi dress that was elastic and decided that was the best option for two reasons: it fit and it was comfortable.

Now you would think that since I had such a negative revelation, I would have done something immediately, but that didn’t happen. While studying for the MCAT, applying to medical school and my boyfriend leaving to a different city, life didn’t allow me to focus on me. It took me another month and a half to begin my journey to weight loss. As of July 25, 2016, I joined Weight Watchers and decided to change my lifestyle, not start another terrible diet. Now that I am starting my fourth week in the program, I have incredible news to share. I have reached my first goal. I have lost ten pounds! It hasn’t been easy, but the reward of my clothes fitting better and having more energy is so worth it.

So if you’ve been debating on changing your lifestyle for the better, that’s what I am here for. I want to share with you some helpful tips that have helped me along my journey so far. By no means am I a nutritionist or personal trainer, I am just an ordinary woman striving to live the healthiest and happiest life she can. So here we go…

The first step to starting your weight loss journey is accepting where you are at in your life. It’s realizing that you are WORTH it and deserve a life of happiness and fitness. It doesn’t mean that you need to be a size zero or weigh the same weight you did in high school. It just means finding balance within yourself and being a healthy individual that can enjoy life to its fullest. I believe that it’s not until this occurs do you begin your weight loss journey. If you don’t realize that you are worth it, you will fail time and time again. Trust me; I’ve been there and done that.

After accepting the fact that you are WORTH the time and effort it takes to live a healthy lifestyle, it’s realizing that it’s just that. It’s a LIFESTYLE, not a DIET. I hate that word. It’s awful, scary and so confusing. I mean have you googled what kind of diets are out there? I have! There is the no carbs diet, the cabbage diet and even the cranberry juice diet. They’re endless, confusing and trendy. I mean let’s get real…pizza is fantastic, cake is delicious, and food adventures are the best thing about traveling. And that’s the issue with dieting, you deprive yourself of everything you love! To do what? Lose a couple of pounds then put them back on?! No! It’s ridiculous. So that’s when I realized what I needed to do was change my lifestyle, I chose Weight Watchers for that reason. It allows me to eat everything I want, but in moderation. I have enjoyed pizza, but instead of 3-4 hand tossed slices. I have had 1-2 thin and crispy slices with a side salad. It’s realizing that I can still eat all the delicious food, but more of the healthy greens and delicious fruits. So instead of dieting, change your lifestyle and eat in moderation. I know what I’m saying. Trust me, I’ve been there and done that.

Third, after deciding you want to change your lifestyle, you NEED to change your lifestyle. Be proactive and not reactive. Stop waiting for the “next Monday” to come or the “next holiday to pass” and just do it! Do it for you and ONLY you. That’s when you will see results. If you have gotten this far, I congratulate you. It’s not easy. I know. Now you know what else isn’t easy, cleaning out your closet because clothes don't fit you. Oh my goodness, if you know me, you know I love clothes and shopping, so having to part with some of my favorite items did hurt. But ask me why I did it? I will tell you! Because who wants to be eating a salad with grilled chicken, two tablespoons of ranch with a bottle of water when their pants are cutting them in half? I realized that the reason I didn't see “progress” was because I was fixated on fitting into the clothes I owned, so what I did is unbelievable. I’ll tell you the secret…are you ready? I got rid of it! I got rid of all the clothes that were holding me back and bought myself a couple of items that would fit my current body, nothing fancy or expensive because I knew that I wanted to focus on my weight loss. But yes, do yourself a favor and rid yourself of all those clothes cutting you in half because you’re too embarrassed to go up in size. It’s so much easier eating right in clothes that fit. Trust me; I’ve been there and done that.

Next, you want to find yourself an accountability partner or partners. Don’t go telling the whole world that you have started a weight loss journey, because if you have tried this before they’ll tell you. “Again? Are you going to do it FOR REAL this time?” So be selective of who you tell, tell those who will support and motivate you, not tear you down and remind you of where you have been and where you are. You want to make sure your circle of motivation is composed of those individuals who believe in you and want the best for you. Trust me; I’ve been there and done that.

The next step was the hardest step. It was getting active. I am not a fan of sweating or getting calluses on my feet. You can call me a girly girl. I know that I am. I never was into sports, and I am definitely an indoor person, but if you want to see results and want them to show up quicker...get active somehow. Now this doesn’t mean preparing for the Olympics from one day to the next; it means just doing more than what you’ve been doing. For me, it meant walking around my neighborhood at least three times a week. I mean walking, no jogging and definitely no running, but just moving my body and getting myself active. So find something that makes you happy, it can be lifting weights, swimming, running or simply walking. But as Nike says, “Just do it!” It will add a little burst of energy to your life and allow time to yourself. I promise the sweat is worth it when the weight begins to fall off. Trust me; I’ve been there and done that.

Last and most important is create goals for yourself, realistic and attainable goals are of utmost importance. The moment I realized that I wouldn’t look like a Victoria Secret Model overnight is the moment I was able to attain my goals. Make a small goal with a little reward, and then gradually increase your goals and rewards. For me, my primary goal is to lose 40 pounds, so I decided to break down my goals and rewards by every ten pounds that I lost. They are as follows: 

-10 Pounds in Weight Loss: Post a Tumblr Blog about my journey, so that it’s no longer private, but now I can be held accountable by everyone. 

-20 Pounds in Weight Loss: Purchase cute Nike leggings. 

- 30 Pounds in Weight Loss: This one is still in the works. I haven’t quite decided yet. 

-40 Pounds in Weight Loss: Having the opportunity to purchase the wedding dress of my dreams. 

It’s important to realize that the goals and rewards you set for yourself are meant for you and you alone. The goals should be reasonable and within means. They should be far enough, so that a reward is valid, but not far enough to where it feels like there’s no progress. The rewards should also progress gradually. They should motivate you to keep going and encourage you to finish what you set out to do. They should be for you, so yes I know what you’re thinking. “What kind of boyfriend does she have that would make her lose weight?” Let me be the first to tell you that was never my situation. On the contrary, my boyfriend is loving and has seen me as beautiful regardless of my weight. But I know sometime soon our lives will change, and we will say “I do.” I want to be able to see myself the way I have always envisioned myself on my wedding day. So find what makes you want to live a healthier lifestyle, it will make all the difference. Trust me; I have been there and done that. 

Wait a second; I know I said that was the last thing, but I realized something. We never talked about motivation. If you want to be successful in you living a healthier lifestyle, make sure you have something that motivates you. For me, it’s this: 

- I plan to practice medicine one day, and I want to be the best example I can be to my future patients. 

-I want to get married to my best friend, and I want him always to be proud of the dedicated woman that I am. 

-I want to have a family of my own day. I would love to have a huge family with five kids running around. I want to be there for them as their mom and best friend, but most importantly I want to be an example for them. 

-I want to be the best version of myself in all areas of my life because I deserve it and I am worth it. 

So there you have it, the beginning of my journey to living a healthier lifestyle. It’s not hard really. It’s just coming to the realization that you are worth it and that we only get one life to live! So do it, do it for you and whatever else motivates you. You’ll be glad that you did.

Sincerely, 

It is finished. A word from Greek origin spoken by Jesus in John 19:30. He did not just speak these words. He proclaimed them and made a promise to his people. If you are not a Theologian (like myself) and have never heard of this word, it translates to “It is finished!” It is a beautiful promise that means whatever you are going through, Jesus has already seen the end result.

Recently with the application for Medical School opening up, I have felt beyond stressed. I know stress is what we like to call normal in college, but the stress levels I have had in Spring 2016 have honestly skyrocketed through the roof. It seems as though the amount of hours in a day are never enough and the tasks that are supposed to get done are never done. In previous years, I have felt stress throughout my semesters, but this semester it is much different.

My stress levels have been so high that I have seen physical consequences of it. I’ve gained 30 pounds since graduating from high school. I’ve lost a tremendous amount of hair and have now developed a slight bald spot. I’ve aggravated the lesion in my stomach, to the point where it feels like an ulcer has developed. I have heart burn about 5 times out of the week. I become forgetful of things that need to be done, unless written down. I’ve had three mental breakdowns within this semester. I’ve had anxiety attacks, while driving or during an exam. I’ve had the base of my skull feel like it’s splitting in half. To say the least, the stress I have felt recently has changed my perception on what it means to shoot for the stars.

With less than a month before the Medical School application opening up, my heart races and my mind wanders to the question, “Have I done enough?” Is being in the top 15% in my class a high enough GPA? Is having 500 plus community service hours enough? Is being involved in three organizations sufficient? Is holding three different leadership roles enough? Is shadowing four different doctors enough? Are four letters of recommendations enough? Am I enough?

It’s hard to explain, to those who have not been down this path. But essentially, my dream of becoming a doctor will be answered at the end of this year and I don’t know what I would do if I am not accepted. You see for so many years, this profession has been a dream…just a dream. But now in the year of 2016, my dream is in the makings of hopefully becoming a reality. With so much worries clouding my judgment on whether I should submit my application or not, I felt as though I was lost on where to go.

But like so many other busy and worried times in my life, God speaks to me when I am quiet. Like one of my favorite professors said, “It’s not until we unplug from the world, that we really hear the voice of God.” It was during a car ride, with no music on that I heard one word: “Tetelesti.”

I tried to fight off tears and my eyes filled to the brim with tears, but just like that Jesus spoke straight to me. “My child, it is finished.” You see no matter how many exams I pass or fail. No matter how many organizations I am apart of. No matter the amount of community service hours or shadowing hours I have done. He already knows the end result. He has gone ahead in my path and seen what I will become in my life. My prayer is this, that I might discern the voice of God and have peace that no matter what the result maybe come December 2016. I will have peace knowing that He has already finished what He already started.

 “When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he                      bowed his head and gave up his spirit.”                                                       John 19:30

Sincerely,

“Dream big. Reach for the stars. You’ll make it.”

Phrases. Phrases that are supposed to support and motivate you, but when the results show contradictory statements, self-doubt sets in. Deep, so deep into your soul that it runs in every vein of your body.

Becoming a doctor, or should I say the privilege of being called a doctor, is an aspiration I’ve reached towards to since I was a child. I don’t pursue medicine for the financial gain, because I know that will always fail. But I look to medicine for the love of it, my soul is called to heal people. My inner being knows nothing else, but the love of medicine.

But doubt, self-doubt is a creepy crawler that sneaks up on you when you don’t even notice. I’ve never considered what my life would be like if I didn’t get accepted into Medical School. However fall 2015 has proven otherwise, I have questioned what my future will be like and the career I will pursue. It’s not that I have quavered in my love for medicine, in fact, it’s grown tenfold. It’s that regardless of my “A Efforts,” my grades don’t express my efforts. It’s degrading, belittling, and crushing. It’s realizing that dreams are great, but dreams don’t pay the bills.

So as you might have guessed, I have received my Microbiology Exam grade. You know the one I studied endlessly for? The one that all “A Efforts” were put into, but the end result is a mere 74. Not even a B, it is a frigid C. A C that not only affects my Microbiology grade, but also my dreams becoming a reality or just another utopian ideal.

When I found out, I cried endlessly, and looked to everyone for advice. The consolations were all the same:

“Don’t worry. Get ‘em next time.”

“Try harder, and study more in advanced.”

“You can do it. I know it.”                      

Consolations that were supposed to be helpful, but at this moment in time, it had the opposite effect. I self-loathed for a while, then picked myself up and went to speak to my professor. Apparently, I wasn’t anywhere near the worst grade, and he admired my attention to detail. He told me to visit his office hours when needed and encouraged me to continue in his course. I took his advice with confidence, but still needed a more realistic viewpoint.

I went to visit another professor. One who has great knowledge of what it takes to get into Medical School. I gave him my statistics: 3.55 Overall GPA and a 3.4 Science GPA. With an almost grim look on his face, he said: “I’m not going to lie to you. I’ve seen many students get in with this GPA, but their MCAT score is stellar.”

Great. My greatest chance of getting in lies in an eight hour exam that tests everything you’ve ever learned. I was defeated once again. I can’t do well on one lecture exam, and now my whole future relies on one major exam.

Immediately, I questioned whether or not to change my career plan at that moment or not, but something inside of me said to keep going. Just like that the small voice flowed into my heart, I always hear it when I always need it most, and that’s when I got my answer.

“I know they said it’s unlikely, but let’s show them the impossible made possible.” –God

At that moment, I realized that regardless of statistics, facts and even current standards, God has a plan for my life, and it is to pursue medicine. He knows the exact Medical School I will get into and the exact hospital I will do my residency in.

It’s not that I’m unaware of realties, but my future and dreams don’t rely in manmade realities. They rely in the truth that God is so much greater than everything that I have ever faced and will face and self-doubt is not of him. He doesn’t encourage self-doubt. Instead, He wants dependency. Dependency on Him.

So with that being said, I will continue to purse my career in medicine because it’s my God given talent to one day heal people. And I encourage everyone to listen to that still small voice, the one that will validate whether you’re right or wrong, and the one that will know exactly what to say at the right time. So to the Chef who gets kicked out of every restaurant, make your own restaurant. To the Attorney who hasn’t landed a secure job, start your own firm. To the Lawn Care Provider who never gets a raise, get out there and start your own business. To the single mom trying to get through Seminary, you can do it. You’re destined to do it. It’s innate in you, and you and I will make it through.

Sincerely, 

A Future Doctor 

With fifty percent of marriages ending in divorce, it seems as though divorce has been accepted into our society. It’s like a disease that people no longer see the side effects to and just take it as a minute matter. But from the perspective of a “divorcee child,” let me tell you otherwise.

Although many claim labels are not important in society and that they do not play a pivotal role in one’s life, they’re wrong. Simple labels such as gender, race, religion and political views divide our society into different cliques one might say. Some of my labels would be female, Hispanic, Christian and Independent. They’re pretty normal right? Well what about, the “divorcee child,” has that label become so normal that we don’t realize the effects it has not only on the individuals who partake in the divorce, but also the children who suffer along with their parents?

Like many other children in this nation, my parents are divorced. They have been for the past twelve years, so it’s nothing new to me. I grew up with a privileged life, honestly an extremely privileged life, where money was never an issue and I took the most lavish vacations and received the most sought for gifts. Although many would say, I lived the happiest childhood years because of my monetary advantages. I would say otherwise. It’s not because my parents didn’t love on my 24/7, because they did. It’s more because the pain they felt transmitted to my sister and me.

The schedule of a “divorcee child” goes like this, the child (ren) live with their  sole parent for the majority of the time, but visit their other parent every Wednesday after school till around 9 PM, and travel to the other parent’s house for the weekend every other weekend. To say the least at the young age of eight or nine, it makes you feel like you do not have a home. I mean really. How can a home exist when it constantly changes every week? Where the rules are different in each household? Where the food is different in each household? Even where the A/C is different in each household? You know many might think, “No big deal. You only have to move around 1-4 days out of every week.” Think about it, seriously. That is not consistent at all. Besides the constant house changing, divorcee children have to now split their time in between two families for every holiday. Did you catch that? In between two families…my family used to be one. Now I needed to figure out a way to visit each side for every holiday. One of the things I remember clearly growing up is my parents fighting every holiday on how long we would be at each side. Did they do this out of anger? No. Did they do this to hurt us? No. Did they do this to make our lives more difficult? No. They did it because they wanted us to grow close to both sides of our family, which is understandable…now at the age of twenty, not at the age of nine.

You see, when two people get divorced who have children, it isn’t a clean cut. It’s like an automobile going eighty miles per hour on a rural road, where twist and turns are abundant. Out of nowhere, you hit an out of sight tree, and with a hurricane like wind, the tree crashes into the passenger seat impaling the individual. When the healing and treatment is attempted to be done, it isn’t a simple stitch.  It’s a jaw of life cranking to open the door. It’s sawing off the dirt and filth from your body. It’s the splitting of the tree attempting to not split you in half. It’s breaking bones in the attempt not to rupture vital organs. It’s going through the most extreme pain imaginable and hoping you come out alive. That’s the pain you feel as a child whose parents are divorced.

You see for the past twelve years, I have felt this ongoing pain, where my home isn’t consistent, where my holidays are split, and where your heart is trying to satisfy the two. To be quite honest, I’ve been struggling lately. The year of 2015 has without a doubt been the most difficult and painful year of my life. Outside of the divorce, the aftermath has finally occurred and it has with a million per mile winds. In the blink of an eye, my entire life changed without notice and I felt as though I was drowning in a sea of labels and pain. Honestly as of July 2015, I felt broken.

In an attempt to alleviate any pain possible, I attended a Church Camp out at Bogg Springs in Arkansas. To say the least, God met me there. For the first time since when I can remember, I felt the Holy Spirit overcome me. I typically feel God’s presence in music, and this time was no different. I was listening and trying to worship to a band by the name of Summerhill. They were doing a rendition of a song called “Good Good Father.” (I couldn’t find their performance on YouTube, so I found one similar.) The lyrics triggered the strings of my heart and brought me to my knees with tears gushing out of my eyes. For the first time ever, I finally understood the meaning of God as your refuge. You see even though, my home changed every week. God’s love for me didn’t. He was my home for the past twenty years, and will be for the following years to come. He is the reason behind the most beautiful holiday yet, so instead of worrying on how much time is spent with each side. He showed me to rather enjoy the time, instead of counting the minutes spent. You see when, I wasn’t searching. God found me at my needs. He showed me regardless of my “labels.” I am His, and He is mine.

So before you, or your family member, or your friend decides to get divorced remind them of this. Although it seems easier at first, it isn’t. It’s the hardest and most trying experience one might go through. Although you think the children won’t suffer, they do. They experience every ounce of pain that the parents do. Before you make a covenant before God saying you will be with your spouse forever, pray, and after you’re done praying, pray again. Make sure that God has chosen this individual for you, so that fifteen years later divorce doesn’t occur. You don’t want your children to be labeled “divorcee child,” but in the off chance that they do or they have been labeled. Tell them this. God took away that label before it was even placed on them, and you are labeled “Child of the One True King.” All He asks is to follow.

Sincerely,

When asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” The answer doesn’t seem to evade my mind anymore. Around the age of 12, I came to the realization that I had not only dreamed but had been called to be a doctor. At that age, I didn’t quite understand the amount of different specialties there were, and I really truly didn’t understand the perseverance it took to attain a medical degree. However eight years later, I still feel called to be a doctor, and the closer I get to my dream. The quicker life seems to happen.

  Lately, my life has changed. From what I would have called “my norm,” it now ceases to exist. I would say that in a matter of six months, I’ve had to readjust my life to now fit this new “norm” that is occurring. It’s been hard, well difficult. I guess, so I haven’t really focused or entertained the idea of becoming a doctor lately. I would focus on my studies yes, but I didn’t pursue with all my heart the goal of becoming one. Until I realized, I was happiest and felt the most normal when I chased after my dream.

This past week, I started to shadow an ER doctor. My expectations were extremely high, since it’s the one area where I feel like I could someday work in. As I sat waiting for the doctor to arrive on my first day, I thought about my life, and laughed at the fact that even when everything else is changing. My dreams and pursuant of an education remains the same. Apparently, the doctor was in a meeting, and never came, so I had to ask them to let me in. They did. As the nurse opened the doors, a rush of emotions came over me. My body nearly jumped in excitement when I saw nurses talking about patients, when I saw hospital personal directing traffic, but especially when I saw residents climbing the ladder.

I had been told that the residents would be in the hospital, but seeing them first hand made me realize that it truly was possible. There stood two male doctors, who were much younger than the other doctors and were so hungry to learn and treat patients. They were the residents, in their glorious white coats. Man, I want to be one so bad already. Finally after a few minutes more like an hour, the doctor walked in. He is a fast paced and a focused man. He doesn’t mess around, and expects to have everything done properly. He’s my kind of teacher. Just as quickly as he walked in, he walked right out and started treating people. Gosh, these doctors must drink coffee 24/7, because they were on their feet going.

In a matter of two days,   I saw an array of different patients. Some needing minor assistance and others in which brought tears to my eyes. I had never seen pain the way I did, until I witnessed it in so many different people at the same time. When I was there shadowing the doctors, I stood in the back and listened to their way of treatment, and stood astounded at the respect and warmth they brought to their patients. They made the environment feel more like a home, and less than a hospital. The ER taught me a lot, so I figured I’d show you the top 10 things I learned.

1.     Always wear comfortable shoes.

2.     “There are a bunch of attendees, and they’re all trying to teach you something in their own way. You’ll always be wrong. The goal is to be less wrong.” Dr. Lewis

3.     Assumptions are for criminals. Facts are for professionals.

4.     The definition of pain varies with each gender, race, religion, age, and person.

5.     Sleep whenever or wherever you can.

6.     If you plan to practice medicine in the Rio Grande Valley, know, understand, and speak Spanish.

7.     Focus. Listen…don’t hear. Speak. Focus.

8.     You’ll learn to love coffee.

9.     There is power in the White Coat.

10.  Medicine might fail sometimes, and when it does (because it will). Pray.

  I still have a few weeks ahead of me to shadow in the ER, and I look forward to the many more experiences I will face. However, I thought it would be nice to document how treating patients healed me. Being in that environment, healed and repaired my dream of becoming a doctor, and made me realize that no matter how fast life seems to be going or life seems to be changing. One should always focus on their dreams, because they truly do bring a sense of normal to everyday chaos. I know the journey will be difficult, but it surely isn’t impossible. I will be a doctor one day, even if that means learning Spanish, sleeping less, and drinking coffee. In fact, I could also be a kick butt FEMALE doctor, since I failed to see a single FEMALE doctor while shadowing in the ER. Yeah, let me be the stepping stone for others to come.

  Sincerely,

      A Hungry Future Doctor

“Will Liam Neeson be there to protect and keep you safe?” For the millionth time, my mom interrogated me about my safety in London. I knew she was kidding about taking a fictional character with me, but at the same time a part of me worried on whether or not I would survive.

After traveling in London for a few days, my experience started out wonderful. But as the overcast fell on one gloomy night, I wished that Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson from Taken) was escorting me on my forsaken walk through Queensway. My friend and I walked into a souvenir shop, where a man offered us deals…not only on the souvenirs. Goodness, my mom’s words remained true. Maybe, I didn’t have street smarts after all. How could a place so beautiful be so filthy and disgusting at the same time?

A few days later, I found myself in the inner city district of Camden. Out of all the boroughs that London had to offer, this one made me feel at home the most. With a gigantic sign that said “The Camden Market,” it had a bazaar like feel, which people in the Rio Grande Valley would call a “pulga.”  An array of vendors spilled out of the tents and dragged potential buyers into their makeshift shops. Whatever one sought to buy, it lived in Camden. From shoes to clothes, to artwork and pipes, the market offered anything one might desire.

“You like? I got your size.” The shop owner asked my friend and I.

“How many pounds for the shoes sir?”

“Thirty-Four Pounds, but for you twenty five”

Like a billion fruit flies on a sweet cake, the shop owners attacked us. They offered us deals better than the prices listed, and led us down weird alley ways to find the top of the line items. We were being treated like Queen Elizabeth II herself.  My eyes feasted upon all the beautiful and imported clothing. It ranged from all over the world. Whether you had a free spirited style or classic style, Camden sold it all. The shop owners had a magical way to get you to buy anything.

Besides its reputation for selling clothes and knickknacks, Camden partakes in one of London’s greatest eatery locations. With an innumerable amount of different aromas, my stomach growled in delight. The tangy twist of a lime combined with the sweetness of a freshly squeezed orange, just made sense in Camden. In only one section of Camden, one could find Spanish, French, Dutch and American food all for a reasonable price. If you didn’t have time to dine in, you could grab a quick bite to eat at one of the various puestitos.

Although tourists flocked to Camden for the market, I enjoyed every aspect about it, even the things that went unacknowledged. The floor that crawled with disgusting grime showed me the years of walking and dirt that had added a layer to the concrete that I had never seen. Like many other areas in London, Chalk Farm teemed with millions of people from around the world. They spoke different languages like Portuguese, Spanish, French, English, Chinese and basically any language known to man. People were walking in all different directions, with nowhere to go and everything to see. Amidst the crowded jungle of people, stood one interesting character, a hippie of some sort. Her age didn’t surpass her twenties, and she dressed in jeans, sandals, and a crop top. She adorned her head with a flower headband and offered free hugs. Unlike the others, she wore a smile from ear to ear and danced freely to some music playing in her ears. I quickly ran up to her and we hugged like best friends, took a quick photo and left.

After exploring the area, we noticed a group of friends had joined the free hugs girl. They all wore free spirited clothes, and offered free food to anyone who wanted to try it. They called themselves The Oomun Group, who aim to promote a structure that bases itself on logic and love. From what I could see on their makeshift sign, they offered vegan food. It looked like a ball of maza, stuffed with some vegetable delight. To be quite honest, it didn’t appeal to my eye. It looked like one of those play dough balls you make as a kid covered in dirt and sand. As they handed out the food, a lady came up to the free hugs girl and asked what they were doing.

“What is this? The woman asked.

“We are giving free food.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because, it’s a basic human right and not everyone has it.”

Back home on a daily basis, I cuddle with my boyfriend and my stuffed animal Cuddles. My boyfriend purchased Cuddles for our first month anniversary, and since then I sleep with him every night. He started out as a fluffy and vibrant little bear, but now his fluff is slowly falling out. His color is growing dingy, and he looks a bit raggedy. Regardless of his worn condition, he still has much love to give, so he joined me on this voyage to London.  Back home, the three of us, (Rudy, myself and Cuddles) will sit and watch movies or watch something funny on TV. So while I have been here in the United Kingdom, I have missed our warm hugs while we snooze. Although we are five thousand miles away from each other,  Rudy tries his best to make me feel loved constantly, so a few nights ago we video chatted for the first time through Facebook and it was an experience that brought home closer to me.

“The video call is connecting. Please wait.” The luminescent computer screen flashed and that was when it happened. I saw my love for the first time in about a week. It was an indescribable feeling. His face looked pixelated like a robot from a children’s movie, but at least I was able to see his eyebrows moving up and down like a little caterpillar moving across a field of grass. We had been texting every day, but finally getting to hear his symphonic voice and see his warm welcoming eyes made me realize what I had left behind. Gosh, how I miss this man of mine.  We talked about everything we could, in the limited amount of time given, but in those ten minutes home had crossed the pond and landed right in my seat.

  Without a doubt, traveling abroad is a wonderful experience, but I will not lie when I say that moments come when I miss home. Although my new found friends are helping me adapt to this country, my heart will always belong to the Rio Grande Valley. It’s been about nine days on this trip, and I am really starting to miss my mom’s homemade cooking, my sister’s non-stop drama, my dad’s bear hugs, and my family’s voices. I know it won’t be long till I see them again, but today I am missing home just a little more than before. If you are ever far from your loved ones, click on video chatting and let your home come to you. It will make you feel loved and like The Impossible Made Possible.

Sincerely,