#thehappinessproject

May - Leisure

          May is all about taking the time to have fun even for just a moment and take time for yourself to do thing that you enjoy. It is about having the free time to do whatever you want to do. This was a good chapter, I really enjoyed it.

           One way is to find more fun. This is about figuring out what you like to do for fun. It should not be what other people find fun. In the book, Rubin asks for advice on her blog and realizes that even though the activities that other people do are indeed fun, that does not mean that it particular fits into her idea of fun. And that is okay, everyone is different and people enjoy different things. Some people even struggled to know for sure what they find fun because they do what others expect them to enjoy. That is fine, but they need to sit down and really do something that they enjoy and that they genuinely feel happy doing without worrying about some kind of reward or recognition. I enjoy playing video games, especially with friends. I love to play party games and multiplayer games so that everyone can join in. I also enjoy sleeping, even though that does not seems like an actual activity, I enjoy when I dream. And I also love to craft and make things with my hand. I give them as gifts to people once I finish if I do not have a place to put them but making them is the fun part.

          Second is to take the time to be silly. My friends and I already tend to do this a lot. We love to joke and do weird things when we hang out that it just feels like a great way to have fun. We are silly with each other because we have a safe, no judgement kind of place where we can be who we are. I am sure a lot of people are like this and I am glad that we live in a place where it is not very judgmental.

          Going off the path leads to exciting adventures. I have to admit that I was not able to complete this, but I do this every once in a while, with good company when I have time. When friends or family that are out-of-state come back to visit, we try to do things we never did before so that they have something to remember until next time. We go hiking or go on a road trip somewhere we have not been or eat at a different restaurant. It is a great way to keep things fresh and have new memories.

          Lastly, start a collection. There are a lot of things that people collect. Some like to collect for completing a set and then there are others who just have the desire to have them. I am the second one as I collect a couple of things and I would like to have more. The pictures below show I have tsum tsums, which are a kind of Disney plush in various sizes. These are the small ones that I have shown but I also have a big pillow sized Stitch, from the Disney movie “Lilo and Stitch.” And the other picture is of my amiibos, and they are collectible figures that you can use on certain Nintendo games to help you through the game or just to unlock cool items. I do not really use them, I just like having the characters I like because I think they are cool.

January 1 - Grilled Shrimp Salad

January 2 - Korean Dramas

January 3 - Not being fined for late change of address

January 4 - Being praised by Dr. Ding

January 5 - Nam Joo Hyuk 

January 6 - Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo

January 7 - My hair cut! And new iPad cover

February - Marriage pt. 1 (Family)

           February’s virtue is marriage, but the title is to remember love. I am not married or have a partner right now, so I am going to focus on family for this chapter. It works out quite well as I think the notes she gives about this chapter works quite well in different types of relationships.

          First, is to quit nagging. I live with my brother and we always argue about who should do what and everything. I do not like to fight and one of the tips is to not force them to do something they do not want to do. It should be that I do something because I want to do it. Though, telling yourself that you want to do it will not change the way you feel about wanting help from the other person. I would clean a bit and hope that he would help but he does not and I just end up leaving it at that. But I did get the house cleaner, so that is something to be happy about.

          Next, is to not expect praise or appreciation. Sometimes, it is hard to do something you are proud of and no one shows gratitude for it. I show my family a dance that I learned with my club and they would criticize me a bit because I do not dance like the rest of them. I only started to dance a little under a year ago and I have made some improvement for someone who has never danced before, so I just thought they would let me know how good of job I have been doing. They did give me a little but I understand that they are trying to also give me constructive criticism.

The title of this chapter is Uncomfortable Feelings that actually Indicate you’re on the Right Path. 

This seems to be happening a lot more frequently this past couple months... where I feel fine one second and the next, I have a flood of random emotions and thoughts. Instead of looking at it as an indicator that I’m on the “right path” (as this passage indicates), I’ve been seeing it more as a negative roller coaster. But after rereading this passage a plethora of times,  I’ve realized that these waves of emotions are because I’ve been wanting more in life. It’s an emotional realization... an awakening that I’ve been itching for change or growth in all aspects of my life: career, love, self. 

Instead of seeing this influx of irrational sadness as a sign that something is “wrong with me”, I’m choosing to see it as an indicator that there are aspects of my life that cannot be continuously resisted. 

So, I am taking these first steps to acknowledge my emotions and allow myself to become fully conscious of them. Instead of suppressing these feelings, I will allow myself to feel them. I am having these specific thoughts/feelings for a reason. *Note to self Tiffany- this doesn’t mean you have permission to get carried away with your imagination, you still need to find that control in defining reality vs imagination.*