#thefandomimagine

You hadn’t been working at Jurassic World for very long. But you had known better than most of what to expect out of the world of dinosaurs. You worked with one of the dangerous ones called the Indominus Rex. But it was rare for you to be out there with it. You spent most of your time observing others who worked with other dinosaurs. 

You were currently at your favorite place with the Raptors. It was one of the places where you felt peace. Your eyes watched the raptors with their trainer. You felt a little hot under the collar every time that you came here. Your boyfriend Owen Grady was quite the specimen when it came to working with his raptors. 

You gripped the bagged lunch in your hands as you waited for him to come out of the cage. It was lunchtime and you both tried no matter what to make time for one another to make sure that you had time together to keep your relationship going strong. You had no problems with this. You always loved seeing Owen working before coming and joining you for a meal. 

Owen swaggered towards you after he got out of the cage. “Been waiting long baby?” He questioned with a small smile. 

A small smile quirked to your lips. “No, I haven’t been waiting long Owen.” You said moving towards him. Your lips met with his in a soft kiss. 

“How goes it with the Indominus Rex?” He questioned softly against your lips.

“Harsh.” You said softly moving back from him. “They’re still making sure that it is safe for it to be seen.” 

“I wouldn’t doubt it.” He said with a huff as he wrapped his arm around you in a loving way. “Maybe you need to be moved onto another dinosaur.”

You let out a breath as the two of you walked slowly. “It’s not like I have much of a choice.” You admitted softly. “Most of them are taken if not all.” 

“You could always work with the raptors with me.” He said pressing a soft kiss on the top of your head as the two of you made it into an area that the two of you usually went to for lunch. 

You put the lunch down on the table. “I’m sure Blue wouldn’t like that too much.” 

Owen let out a soft chuckle. “I’m her Alpha…” 

“And I’m no one… Maybe an Omega.”  You said with a slight shake of your head. 

“You’re not an Omega.”

“Oh I’m not?” 

“You’re an Alpha like me.” 

You let out a soft chuckle. “Whatever you say darling.” You mused softly as you got lunch out of the bag. “Sorry it’s just sandwiches.” 

“I love your sandwiches.” Owen said reaching for your hand grasping it softly in his own. 

“She’s not going to break,” you’d told him, when the NICU staff told the two of you that she was healthy enough to be held skin-to-skin, about two weeks after she’d been delivered. “She’s a tiny human, and yes, she’s more fragile than a big human, but -”

“More fragile,” Tony said, cutting you off even before you could make a case. “That’s all I need to hear.”

You sighed to yourself, and looked at your daughter, who was currently nestled against your chest. Her eyes were closed, and you frowned a little, listening to how raspy her breathing still sounded. You didn’t say anything, because you knew that they would not have taken her off the big oxygen machine if she still needed it. The staff knew what they were doing; if they didn’t, Tony would not have let you have Maria at this specific hospital.

Still. It was worrying.

“She’s so small,” Tony said, and not for the first time.

You glanced up at him, and smiled slightly. “Smaller than your head,” you agreed.

In response, he’d stuck his tongue out at you, in a very non-CEO-of-a-company way. You chuckled, and Maria shifted, slightly. You glanced down at her again, just to make sure she wasn’t uncomfortable, but her tiny expression hadn’t changed. She was still fast asleep.

You relaxed, and glanced up at the ceiling of the hospital room.  

Her birth had been scary. Obviously. No one wanted to have a baby early, and it was even more terrifying for you, when you’d already dealt with a miscarriage. When you’d started to feel contractions about thirty hours before Maria was brought into the world, you panicked, which was something you weren’t supposed to do.

Unsurprisingly, Tony had been the level-headed one, calmly assuring you that things were going to be fine, that you were going to be fine, and most importantly, that the baby was going to be fine.

Still, that hadn’t helped when she’d been delivered via cesarean section, and you’d heard her struggling to breathe, even with how drowsy you were from medication. The tiny cries that came with each battle for breath were heartbreaking. She’d been so small.

And then she’d been taken away, hurried to the NICU instead of your arms, and you hadn’t seen her again until the next morning.

And then you’d only been able to see her through a plastic box, like she was some kind of precious piece of art in a museum. You weren’t arguing that she wasn’t precious, because she was… you only wanted to hold her, and you weren’t allowed to.

But then the second week had arrived, and you were given permission to hold her. Even though she was still small, she had gained several ounces since she’d been born, which put her at a healthier weight. She wasn’t eating the way she was supposed to, still, but the NICU staff assured that she was improving with every feeding. She was gaining weight everyday, at any rate, and that was good.

Still, even as you relaxed, Tony seemed to grow more worried. He confided that it was just because he wanted to get her home, but you wondered if there was more to it. Because he was stubborn, and you couldn’t handle the stress of a baby in the NICU and a moody husband, you did not pressure him into talking about it.

You had had a shaky start with Tony. The two of you had attended MIT together, and from the beginning, it was a battle for who would be the top of the class. In the end, neither of you had been, but that was just because you’d ended up wrapped up in one another, instead of your studies.

It was kind of strange; you hadn’t thought you wanted to marry Tony, ever. He did not seem the marrying type, and it had just… never been a plan, with him taking over Stark Industries, and you handling your own projects for different cancer research centers. You’d just assumed that you’d both be too busy to have a wedding, start a family, and for the first ten years or so after graduation, that was how it had been.

Until the two of you had taken a trip to Italy, and Tony had proposed during a private dinner at a small bistro. In the end, you hadn’t said no, and the wedding had taken place five months later, because you had not wanted it to be a lavish affair.

The first pregnancy hadn’t been planned, and the miscarriage had been unexpected. When Maria suddenly came into the picture, as a second pregnancy, both you and Tony had immediately decided to do everything you could to make sure she developed properly, and for the complete timespan that Mother Nature typically called for.

Sometimes, though, things didn’t work out the way that you hoped, despite how careful you’d been to follow both your OBGYN’s instructions, and every other tip that you received. It was confusing, though; sometimes, tips would contradict one another, one baby book would suggest one thing, while another suggested something else. It was hard, to know exactly what the best thing was for the tiny baby you were trying to protect and help grow.

So, when you’d started experiencing contractions two months before you were meant to, it was… not a great feeling.

But everything was good, now. She was being taken care of in the NICU, with the best staff that the hospital had to offer by way of neonatal care. She was going to be fine.

Even though she still had a breathing device on her face, and she was still being fed via a tube.

Eventually, you had to give her up, so that she could be returned to her incubator. Tony watched her get wheeled away, and then he turned to you.

“I feel helpless,” he said. “Like, I know there’s really nothing I can do, but let the people who know how to help her do their jobs, but… she’s my daughter. I feel like I should be doing something.”

“You’re not the only one,” you replied softly.

He reached over and slid his hand into yours, inhaling slowly. You ran your thumb against the back of his hand, wishing that there was more you could say to make things better.

The truth was, things wouldn’t be better, until you could take her home. Even then, there would always been the threat of something happening to her. Preemies were fragile; any little thing could eventually turn into a big thing.

“We’ll have eighteen years of taking care of her,” you finally managed, and you smiled slightly when Tony let out a chuckle in response.

“Yeah,” he said. “That’s true.”

Silence fell while you changed out of the hospital gown they had asked you to put on while holding Maria. Tony gazed down at the floor, clearly deep in thought. As you finished pulling down on the skirt of the sundress you were wearing, you looked at him.

“You okay?” He shook his head, after a moment, and you walked over to where he sat in a chair, placing a hand on his shoulder. You gave it a comforting rub. “What is it?”

“Just - everything, I guess,” he murmured. One of his hands lifted to wipe at his eyes, and the other one reached up to cover where yours was resting on his shoulder. “I just worry, about her now, about her later… did they tell you?”

“Tell me what?” you asked, frowning slightly.

Tony exhaled, shakily, and then he glanced up at you. “There’s a chance she’s going to grow up with asthma, because of how underdeveloped her lungs still are.”

“What? I thought things were on track.”

“I don’t know,” he sighed. “One of the nurses told me that they think she should be breathing on her own, sooner rather than later, but every time they try to take her off the machine, things go badly.”

You rubbed at the spot between your eyebrows, and Tony squeezed your hand. “I just - they’re supposed to help… help her develop, the rest of the way,” you mumbled. “If her lungs aren’t… aren’t growing, then what - what are we doing?”

Tony pulled you over until he could make you sit down on his lap. The two of you sat like that for a moment, him holding you, and you gazing into the middle distance, your thoughts with your daughter. You almost wished that Tony hadn’t told you what he’d learned, because now your nerves were frayed even more. Asthma was far from the worst thing a child could grow up with, but underdeveloped lungs could lead to a number of problems further down the line.

“Hey,” Tony finally said, softly, after several minutes had passed. He brushed his hand through your hair. “She’s gonna be okay. We can take care of her, no matter what happens.”

It was true, you could. You did not lack the resources to help make sure that Maria was as healthy as possible, even if she was faced with complications as she grew older. The notion of that, however, made you think about the parents with babies in the NICU that couldn’t take care of their kids, pay the bills that would come with care currently, and later on.

“We can,” you murmured, “and that’s good for us, but what about everyone else?”

The hand he had in your hair stilled. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, we can take care of our baby, but what about the parents who can’t take care of theirs?” You lifted your head from where it had been resting on his shoulder, to look at him. “I mean, no one chooses to have a baby in the NICU, and some people can’t afford it.”

Tony exhaled a breath. “I know what you’re getting at,” he said, “and maybe we can do something to help, but… can’t we talk about this after we have our daughter home with us?”

You relaxed, a little. At least he hadn’t immediately turned down the suggestion. “Yeah,” you said, smiling at him. “Of course.” You placed a brief kiss against his lips. “Thank you.”

“You should get home,” he said quietly in response. “You’ve been here all day.”

“I know.”

“Y/N, you need to go home and get some rest,” Tony said, his tone growing firm. “You’re already stressed; stressed and exhausted is not a good combination. The last thing we need is for you to get sick.”

He was right. If you wanted to be able to visit the following day, you needed to head home and relax, maybe even get some sleep.

“You’re staying here?” you asked him, moving off of his lap to retrieve your bag.

He nodded, standing up. “I want to. I can’t do much, obviously, but I don’t… I don’t want to leave her here alone.”

You managed a small smile for him, and walked back over to where he was. You kissed him again, and then hugged him. He held you close for a long moment. You closed your eyes, willing for time to pass quickly, so that neither of you would need to stay behind at the hospital for much longer. You willed for the day that you were able to take your daughter home to arrive sooner rather than later. 

The day did arrive, sooner rather than later, but only after you were informed by a doctor that Maria was at risk for developing something he referred to as bronchopulmonary dysplasia. Thankfully, he called it BPD rather than the other name it was known by: chronic lung disease. That name was just… too scary for you to hear over and over again.

He explained, and not for the first time, that Maria’s breathing problems were partially due to the underdevelopment of her lungs, and also to the fact that her body was unable to produce enough of the liquid that lungs needed inside of them in order to keep from sticking together when she exhaled. As such, oxygen was provided to her, in order to prevent such a case in which she was unable to breath for herself, and she was still breathing through a machine by the time that she was six pounds, four ounces, and big enough to go home.

Almost four months after she’d been born, you and Tony were able to bring your daughter home, along with a breathing machine that she would need to be hooked to at night. The nurses in the NICU had given the two of you a course on how to work the machine. You were glad that the two of you were handy with such things, because it made it a bit easier to understand how to use it. They’d assured that, after a check-up two months later, Maria would most likely be able to breathe on her own. You and Tony were both determined to make sure of that.

The first night was an experience. Although both of you were grateful to finally have her home, the stress of making sure that she was comfortable and all of her needs were met was grating. It did not help that sometimes, her breathing would sound like a wheeze, and you’d panic immediately, wondering if she needed her mask.

“Babe,” Tony said, more than once, “she’s fine. They said it might happen, remember? We don’t have to worry unless she starts to cry.”

You’d nod in agreement, and force your heart to stop racing.

Maria was a precious baby. She did not cry as much as you’d expected her to, and you thought that it was because it exerted too much of her energy. The doctor had also said that, because of how her heart had needed to make up for whatever work her lack of lung development created, she was a lot smaller than she should have been, for how long she’d been in the NICU, and how old she technically was.

As such, most of her energy was reserved for meeting all of her body’s needs, rather than for dealing with external issues. Because of this, you and Tony had to be on top of her schedule, both feeding- and bathroom-wise. Diapers were changed five times a day, and she was fed as often as possible, which had been recommended. Her lung problem made it more difficult for her to suck, which meant she did not eat as much during each feeding as a normal baby. As such, she needed to be fed more often, to compensate.

Which meant two middle-of-the-night feedings, instead of just the one that other parents dealt with.

You didn’t mind. How could you? She was home, and she was your daughter. You’d wanted her to be home for so long; there was no way you could be upset with any of the stress that you had to deal with because of her.

Tony felt the same, you knew, but you also knew that things were harder for him. He had a company to run, not that he really ran it, normally. Still, you knew that he needed time to himself; his brain worked too hard on a regular basis to be surrounded by people and other stressors at all times. It was something that you’d grown to accept about him.

When it came to Maria, however, you needed his help. He couldn’t disappear into his lab for hours on end on a daily basis. You needed him with you, present at all times. And it was wearing him thin. You could tell, just by looking at him. You also knew that he wouldn’t tell you so, because he cared too much about you, and about how much you were already doing without his help. He could be stupidly selfless when he wanted to be, especially when it came to you. In fact, you’d only ever known him to be truly selfless when it came to you.

And it was annoying.

About a month after you’d brough Maria home, you walked into the main room of your home in Malibu, to find that Tony was seated on the couch. Maria was cradled on his thighs, and he was clapping her hands together, gently, smiling down at her all the while.

You watched him with your daughter for a moment, grateful that he hadn’t seen you. It wasn’t often that he was alone with her; usually, he was the one to leave you alone, but only when you asked him to. You’d known that he would make a wonderful father, but seeing him in moments like this… well, it merely confirmed it. You were so incredibly grateful that he was the one that you were doing this with.

Eventually, he realized you were there. His smile softened, a little, as he met your gaze. “Hi,” he said. “Have a good shower?”

“Yeah, thank you,” you said, moving towards where he sat on the couch. “I needed it.” You settled down next to him, and rested your chin on his shoulder, one of your arms around his waist. The two of you gazed down at Maria for a moment in silence.

Her eyes were open, big and brown, just like Tony’s. She was looking around her, and you wondered what she could be thinking as she gazed around the space, saw the big windows, took in the sunlight. Her hair, which was growing in as a soft, dark fuzz, was a little disheveled. You reached over, and gently smoothed it down.

“She looks like you,” you commented idly, returning your hand to where it had previously been resting on Tony’s arm.

“No,” Tony said, grinning. “She’s too gorgeous; it’s all you.”

You chuckled, and then pressed a kiss to his temple. “We need to feed her,” you said.

“Ah.” Tony immediately started to slip his hands beneath her, in order to pick her up and transfer her over to you. You shook your head, however, and moved away from him, standing up. He blinked at you.

“You’re gonna feed her.”

He frowned. “No?”

“Yes,” you retorted, and you moved away towards the kitchen before he could argue further. As you walked into the darkened room, the lights came on, and you smiled when you saw that the bottle warmer that sat on one of the counter tops was already on, waiting.

“Thanks, JARVIS,” you said to the AI that helped run the house, and Tony’s lab.

“You’re welcome, madam,” the British voice responded. “I’d like to congratulate you on remembering this feeding time without a reminder.”

You smiled, retrieving one of the prepared bottles of breast milk from the fridge, and carrying it over to the bottle warmer. You set it down, and then set the timer for thirty seconds. “It ingrains itself, eventually.” The timer went off, and you pulled the bottle out again, shaking some of the formula onto your hand. It was warm enough. “Is he panicking?”

Immediately, a screen appeared on the wall in front of you, showing you black-and-white footage of the living room. Tony was holding Maria in his arms, now, had moved a pillow beneath his elbow in preparation for the feeding.

“Good,” you said, more to yourself than to JARVIS.

“He does seem to have adapted well to parenthood,” the AI replied all the same. “It’s quite impressive. I wouldn’t have expected it of him.”

“Can you expect things of him?” you queried. The silence that followed the question was telling enough. “Right.”

You carried the bottle back into the living room, and you passed it off to Tony. He held it for a moment, glancing between it and you. You offered him an encouraging nod, and he sighed, before he lifted the bottle, and held it towards Maria.

Immediately, she latched onto it, and you listened as she hungrily sucked down the formula that was inside of it. She was improving. That much was obvious. She did not wheeze as often, and the coughing that sometimes followed an eager feeding had stopped happening. You’d seen progress happen in the NICU, but you hadn’t thought about what it would be like to see it at home.

M’Baku is standing near an enormous stone fireplace, commanding his feast hall with an authoritative stance. Guests head toward a long harvest table, fastidiously carved from a expansive tree trunk with thick branches for support. 

A rainbow of vegetarian dishes is served on wide leaf beds and placed on etched wooden platters in a row down the center of the table. A savory, squash-based soup in a large hollowed pumpkin is the star of the table.

As beautiful as the setting is, M’Baku cannot hide his disdain for this gathering. You’ve known it since your arrival two months ago: the leader of the Jabari tribe is clearly a reluctant host of the group you are part of. You and the others in your party, representatives of a number of countries, have been invited by King T’Challa himself to participate in a foreign outreach program, established shortly after his announcement at the U.N.

How in the world T’Challa convinced M’Baku to get involved with building new bridges between nations, you will never know.

At least on the surface, the two men are vastly different. Yet they are of one accord when it comes to protecting what they love: family, friends, citizens, land. You admire them both for their conviction and loyalty.

While everyone takes seats, you take notes. M’Baku is flanked by an advisor on one side, sharing the delegates’ itinerary on a sheet of paper, and a member of King T’Challa’s council on the other, trying in vain to get him to look at the same information on her vibranium-powered tablet instead. He looks annoyed.

“Why do they require so many meals?” Shaking his head at the paper itinerary, M’Baku doesn’t even try to whisper. He launches into rhetorical questions that everyone can hear. “Are they working with their hands all day, or on the water? What tasks are these foreigners doing during their visit that call for constant food?”

You stifle a laugh, loving how M’Baku expresses his intolerance for stupidity and wasted time through exasperated commentary. Honestly, that’s what you’ve come to like most about him.

Liar! You like a whole lot more than that. He and T’Challa both have captivated you, and they’ve shown undeniable interest in you, too. Neither of them gives anyone else the smoldering looks and intentional brushes against the hand when passing, or engages in profound discussion as they do to you. You get the feeling that all this attention may lead to an invitation for some romantic one-on-one time. What you don’t realize is that it will happen today.

M’Baku finally takes his seat in an oversized wooden chair. Its height and breadth - like the man himself - state the obvious: he is in charge. As you sip your soup, you start to wonder about other ways he takes command, and the heat of your thoughts causes you to stop mid-slurp. M’Baku calls you by your first and last names, and you snap out of your daydreaming at hearing his deep, assertive tone.

“If you don’t like the soup, there are at least fifteen other meals you and your friends can look forward to today,” he says.

Scattered, nervous laughter skips around the table at his exaggeration. You smile and dab the corners of your mouth with your napkin.

“Everything is delicious,” you answer truthfully.

“Then why do you look troubled?”

More like horny. You wave it off. “I just have something on my mind. I’m fine.” Vague but true. You take a long sip, then slowly raise your head to meet his mesmerizing gaze.

“Leave us,” M’Baku says suddenly. The guests and advisors rise quickly and without question or fuss.  

M’Baku exchanges a few words with T’Challa’s council member, who then gives you an assuring nod and smile. She leads the delegates around you toward a vestibule. “We are going to the lab for the tour. Your transport will be here momentarily,” she whispers before exiting.

Once the room is cleared, M’Baku waits a few moments before speaking. He leans back in his great chair, his index finger sliding across his bottom lip. Your imagination soars again.

“You are unlike the others,” he says at last.

“How so?” you ask, genuinely curious about his assessment of you.

“They are terrified of me. They scurried like mice the moment I opened my mouth.” He gestures toward the chairs where the other delegates sat. “But you show respect, not terror. And yet….” He pauses again and gives the slightest hint of an amused smile. If you blink, you’ll miss it. “You are trembling. In fact, you have done so every time we’ve met.”

Out of nowhere, it feels as if an oven has been turned on your face while the rest of you fights off the shiver he’s just pointed out.

“It’s probably the change in weather,” you suggest, unconvincingly. “I’m chilly.”

“How does that explain when you’re in the heat of the day?”

You hold your breath for a second, trying unsuccessfully to think of a quick comeback that actually makes sense.

“I can’t explain it,” you concede. It’s a relief to stop pretending you have all the answers.

“I can.”  

M’Baku rises from his chair and you do the same, feeling the butterflies unleash in your belly like never before around him. Once you’re standing, he moves closer.  You’re finding it hard to breathe.

“Join me here later tonight, and I will tell you,” he says, just as his adviser briefly peeks in to announce your ride back to the lab is waiting.  

Another second alone, and you might have been in his arms.  

“We will talk and sit by the fire, away from any chill,” M’Baku says, walking you toward the vestibule, “then we will see if it is still the weather that makes you tremble, or what I suspect.”                    

                                                        ***

A few hours later, a soft knock on the door of your guest quarters in King T’Challa’s palace tears you away from a book that doesn’t interest you much, but keeps your mind off your emotions. The king announces himself. At hearing his voice, your heart races as you move from the bed to the door and open it for him.

Clothed in a black tunic with intricate white-thread detailing down the center as well as coordinating black trousers, he enters with a smile and swagger.

You bend at the waist in reverence, noticing as you stand upright that he has something in his hands: it appears to be a blend of a metronome and a pendulum.

“It’s beautiful.” You already know there’s something special about it. Everything and everyone here is.

The king nods and his smile widens. “Yes. Shuri designed it, at my request. For you.” He places it with care in your hands. 

“Thank you…” The words don’t seem to be enough. It’s lighter than it looks, with its dark silver body and softer scrollwork accents framing the brilliant vibranium orb. It slides from side to side, a circle resembling the sparkling blue ocean at sunrise. You gaze into the blue glow.

“There is a most perplexing song you listen to - I hear you playing it when you are in our library.” He blinks, and his luscious lashes flutter as he points to the iPod on your bed. You know the tune he’s talking about.  

“Oh, that song is a mess,” you say, laughing. “It’s jumpy, but I love it.” You had no idea you’d been playing it so loud that he could hear it - or that he’d been observing you.  

T’Challa holds a finger up and his eyes brighten. “That is the one! The beats are irregular, to say the least.” He smiles that lopsided smile, as uneven as the rhythms you love. “Shuri found the song for me. She was also intrigued with the rhythm, and she was inspired to design this machine - with a little push from me, that is. It works like a metronome in that it can keep a beat. But this one can follow any beat in any piece of music, no matter how varying.” He moves in closer to you and runs his finger along the curved edges of the device. “It only needs to take in the tune for a few seconds, and it can predict the outcome of the song. It’s very intuitive.”

“It reminds me of a pendulum, too,” you say, looking from T’Challa to the object. The beauty of both hypnotize you.

He nods with a grin. “It has the properties of a pendulum as well. That is what Shuri prefers to call it.”

The king starts talking about wider applications for the metronome-pendulum hybrid. As he speaks, you can’t help but gaze at his supple lips, his neatly trimmed facial hair, his broad shoulders. That sensual imagination of yours could win awards.

“Is that a ‘yes’?” he asks.  

Embarrassed, you have no clue what he’s talking about. You were so busy checking him out that you missed something. Fortunately, he sees your confusion and graciously repeats his proposal.

“A late night walk through the gardens after dinner, around 10. I will meet you in the conservatory.” He smiles that smile again.

Completely caught off guard, you set the pendulum atop a mahogany cabinet. You don’t want to refuse him, but you feel it’s only right to let him know you might be busy later. “I would love to, King T’Challa, but -”

“Please,” he says, holding up his hand for a moment. “I am not so formal.”

“T’Challa.” You breathe his name effortlessly. Any awkwardness you thought you’d feel from dropping his title is nonexistent. “I might have another engagement tonight.”  

He looks off for a moment, thinking, his face expressionless. “I do not remember anything so late on the itinerary.”

You glance at your shoes before explaining: “It isn’t part of the itinerary.”

Now he has an expression: curiosity, a hint of disappointment, followed by what can only be described as acceptance.

“I see,” he says, slowly nodding. “M’Baku. I was told he ended the lunch early to have a word with you.”  

That oven-on-your-face feeling returns. “If I go tonight, we’re just going to chat.”  

T’Challa chuckles. “Chatting is not something I would associate with M’Baku,” he says, “but perhaps you have changed him.” He looks deep into your eyes. “You have that effect on me as well. I am all the better for knowing you.”

You could honestly melt into a puddle right there. You truly hope you haven’t hurt him.

“Well, you still have several hours to decide,” T’Challa says.

“Decide?”

“Where you truly want to be.”

You gulp noisily, sure of only one thing: two remarkable men desire your company tonight, and spending time with either one of them would be an honor.

T’Challa takes a few steps back toward the door.

“I look forward to seeing you later,” he says, then utters your name. It’s never sounded so sweet.

                                                     ***

After that visit, you can’t get back into your book. You need guidance. So, accompanied by a guard, you visit Princess Shuri’s impressive lab, where she’s tinkering with small, floating gadgetry that probably has enough power to melt the world’s ice caps. The guard announces you, then excuses herself. A bright smile lights up the princess’s face

“Here for another tour?” she asks.  

You walk in but keep your distance, not wanting to disturb her concentration. “I was just wondering about your work. I hope I’m not interrupting.”  

“Not at all.” She beckons you to stand by her, and you do.

“What is it you would like to know?” Shuri asks.

“Do you have an invention that can help people make decisions about...feelings?” You can’t think of an easier or less pathetic way of asking it.

She laughs. “That’s what your mind and heart are for.”

“That’s the problem. I don’t know which to follow.”  

“Does this have anything to do with T’Challa?” She smiles, then touches the small gadget with a slender, stylus-like instrument and it makes a buzzing sound.  

“Um...“ You don’t know how much you should reveal. This is T’Challa’s sister, after all.

“You don’t have to answer that,” Shuri says. “But tell me this: which is speaking louder, heart or mind?” Her are eyes still on the tech but she’s 100 percent listening to you.

“They’re both equally loud. I go from one to the other, back and forth.

“Sounds like a certain gift I made at the request of my brother,” she says with a wink.

“It’s gorgeous. Thank you.” 

Shuri puts down her instruments and focuses on you. “You are welcome. But back to your problem. Relax and think. Which makes you happier: what you’re hearing from your heart, or from your mind?”

She’s looking at you with such intensity that you swear she can see your thoughts. You close your eyes and consider her question. Two answers catch in your throat, competing to be uttered. But only one emerges victorious. Finally you understand; finally you see. Your smile tells the princess you’ve figured it out.

“You see?” she says, beaming. “You don’t need a lab invention to make a choice for you,” she says. “You just need courage.”

“I hope you mean liquid courage.”

“Liquid courage is deceptive!” Shuri says through a laugh. “You must find your own courage, and trust it.”

                                                       ***

Standing at the entrance of the appointed meeting place, you take a deep, cleansing breath. Peace and excitement simultaneously wash over you as you knock twice firmly on the door.

You’ve sent word to the man you won’t be meeting that you are unavailable, with your sincerest apologies. You still consider him nothing short of amazing. But he is not the one you’re drawn to. Your courage has told you so.

You took a soft breath as you looked at the sonogram that you had in your hand. You had always suspected that something was wrong with you when your period never showed up on time for the last few months. But you always thought that it was the stress of the job that you were in. Because you had missed periods before when it came to stress. This was the last thing that you expected though. 

You didn’t expect to be pregnant with a baby that belonged to your boyfriend Spencer. Someone that you kept a secret about as much as he kept you a secret. Neither of you wanted the rest of your friends to know that you were dating let alone sleeping with one another. 

But you now supposed that there was no reason to hide this from Spencer. You needed to tell him the truth and soon. What worried you was you weren’t sure if he wanted a baby with you or not. You could only hope that he did want the baby with you and remained by your side to raise the child that you created together. 

Your heart rammed in your chest as you carefully put the sonogram into your purse as you headed to your car. You had to come up with some way to tell him the exciting yet nail-biting news of the baby. 

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  * ~ 

You carried a present into the BAU biting your lower lip softly worried that he might not like the surprise that you had for him, but you needed to show him. You had gone out of your way to make this box up to surprise him. You just hoped that he would be accepting of the pregnancy. 

You walked off of the elevator into the room seeing the workers bustling around making sure that their work was done for the day.

JJ saw you come in and walked towards you. “Y/N I didn’t think that you would be in today with your appointment with the doctor.” 

You smiled a soft small smile. “I didn’t think that I would finish in time either.” You admitted softly grasping the box a little tighter in your hands. “Where’s Spencer?” 

“I believe he went to get a coffee. He should be back shortly.” JJ looked at you slightly concerned. “You alright?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You said softly looking at her. “Why wouldn’t I be fine?” 

“You just seem a bit…”

“I promise I’m fine JJ.” You said offering her a small smile knowing that she was rather worried about you, but you didn’t want to give away the surprise that you had for Spencer. You saw Spencer coming from the break room with his coffee in hand. A small smile came to your lips as you walked towards him. 

“Y/N… how did your appointment go?” Spencer asked with a concerned gaze that he tried his best to keep hidden from the other profilers in the room. 

You smiled softly seeing the love and adoration in his eyes. “It went fine.” You said softly as you carefully put the present down on the desk. “Got you something.” 

“Y/N you didn’t have to,” Spencer said slowly picking up the present off of the desk. 

“Oh, but I did.” You said coyly as you looked at him. “Just promise me you won’t think the worst?” 

“Why would I do that Y/N?” 

You bit your lip softly unsure of the whole thing. You could only hope that you were right on this whole thing. 

He slowly began to unwrap the box that held your surprise in it. He moved the ribbon off of it putting it down onto the desk before removing the lid. His brows pinched together when he was paper in it first. He slowly removed the thin paper to see a pair of baby booties. His brows pinched together as he carefully lifted them out of the box. “Um… Y/N… what are these for…” 

You chewed the inside of your cheek in worry. Perhaps he didn’t get it yet and that was something that worried you. “Keep going.” You said softly.

Spencer moved the booties to his desk before slowly taking out a white shirt that seemed like there was nothing on it. He carefully unfolded it and saw what it said. ‘Daddy of a baby genius.’ His brows pinched together as his head shot up to look at you. “Y/N… are you…” 

Your lips quirked into a small smile before nodding your head. “Yes.” 

Spencer put the box down not caring if anyone would see what happened next. He moved quickly towards you wrapping his arms around you before his lips met with yours in a sweet kiss. 

“Whoa…” Morgan said stopping in his tracks and seeing the two of you kissing softly. “Pretty boy got game.” He saw the shirt and let out a soft chuckle. “Alright, more game than I thought.” 

Spencer rested his head against yours softly. “That’s why you had been sick on some days.”

“I wanted to make sure that I was one hundred percent on this.” You admitted softly. “I am sorry that it took me so long to tell you the truth… I always had an inkling.” 

JJ looked at the two of you slightly gobsmacked. “Y/N is pregnant?” 

Spencer slowly looked at his best friend and nodded his head. “Yes…” 

“And how long has this whole thing been going on?” Morgan questioned pointing at the two of you wondering how long the two of you had even been together.

You looked at Spencer before letting out a soft chuckle. “Three years what in June?” You questioned looking at your boyfriend. 

Spencer’s cheeks flushed and nodded his head. 

“Oh damn… I owe Penny money now.” Morgan said with a groan.

Spencer laughed lightly knowing that there most likely had been quite a few bets made, but none would even make it this far of pregnancy. 

You sat in the car as Happy drove you back towards the home that you shared with Tony. You had kept something secret from him and knew that he had been trying to figure out it for days, but hadn’t come close to figuring out what you were hiding. And you were kind of thankful that he hadn’t figured it out. 

“Miss Y/N.” Happy said as he looked back at you as he drove through the rearview mirror. “Was everything alright at the hospital?” 

Your lips quirked into a small smile as you looked up at Happy. “Yes, everything went fine.” 

“Nothing bad?” He asked rather hopeful that nothing bad had happened to you. 

“Just a normal thing Happy.” You said softly as he pulled up outside of the home. You slowly went to get out of the car. “Thank you for taking me Happy.”

“Any time Miss Y/N.” 

You smiled softly as you got out of the car and waved to Happy before slowly going inside. “Tony.” You called out looking around for your boyfriend. You let out a breath when you didn’t hear anything from the man that you loved it gave you an idea of where he was at. You slowly walked towards the basement with your purse in hand. You walked down the stairs slowly to the doors that lead into the lab area of the basement. 

You opened the glass door to see Tony working on his suit. “Tony.” You called out softly. 

“Y/N…” Tony said as he stopped working on his suit. “Where you’ve been?” 

“Happy just brought me back from the hospital.”

“What?” He moved towards you with a worried gaze on his face. “What… are you alright?” 

“Breathe Tony. Breathe.” You said softly stroking his cheek as he got close to you. 

Tony took a big breath looking at you with a worried gaze. 

“I’m fine Tony.” You said softly as you reached into your purse. “I have something to show you though.” 

“Show me?” 

You nodded your head as you pulled out a paper before slowly handing it to him. 

Tony blinked a few times looking at the picture that you gave him. His brows furrowed together. “What…” 

“Come on Tony.” You said softly. “You’re a genius you know what it is.” 

Tony looked at it a bit closer before his eyes widened looking up at you.

You smiled a small smile. “Surprise.” 

“We…”

You nodded your head slowly. “Yes… We’re pregnant.” 

Tony wrapped his arms around you pulling you into a hug that wasn’t a bone crushing one. “Wow…”

“I know we weren’t planning this…”

“Y/N.” He said softly against the side of your head pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “I know we haven’t talked about this but this is something that I want with you.”

A soft smile came to your lips. You were glad that Tony was behind this. “I really thought that you would faint on knowing this.” 

Tony let out a soft chuckle. “Well… perhaps when our little one makes his or her debut maybe we’ll have a different story.” 

You leaned up and kissed him softly on the lips. “I love you.” 

You hadn’t expected your feelings for the man who had the love for your sister to be the one that you wanted to be with. You never thought that he would see past that. You thought that perhaps he would go to you since you were also a fine woman as well. But sadly that wasn’t the case when she made her choice to be with William who the two of you had rescued years ago. 

But here you were standing before him with him on the ground after being thrown out of the pub in Tortuga drunk off his ass. You slowly moved forward touching him softly on the cheek. “James.” You said softly. 

James looked up at you through blurry eyes. “Y/N…” He said softly leaning into your touch. 

“What happened to you?” You asked softly. “You could’ve just let him go…” You stoked his cheek softly. 

“What are you doing here?” He questioned slowly coming out of his drunken stupor. 

“I came with Elizabeth.” You said softly as you helped him up to his feet. “She is searching for Will.” 

“You should be home…” 

You shook your head. “No…” 

“Why not.” 

You let out a breath looking up at him. “Home isn’t much of a home.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Beckett is in control at the moment. He wishes to see us hanging…”

“Because of Sparrow.” He grumbled out. 

You let out a breath and nodded your head. “But I couldn’t stay…” 

“Why?” 

“Because you’re not there.” 

James looked at you with a confused gaze. “What?” 

“It doesn’t feel the same without you.” You said softly pressing a soft kiss against his cheek. 

“Y/N…” 

You gave him a shy look knowing that it wasn’t your place to place a soft kiss on his cheek. You weren’t his woman or anything like that. 

“This is improper.”

You hated it when full moons came around all because you never knew what you were going to get after the full moon. Your heart clenched in your chest as you looked out the window waiting to see Remus coming your way after being in the Shrieking Shack for a while during his monthly change into a werewolf. You always dreaded it because you never knew how bad he was going to be when he returned. 

Your head turned as you heard the door of your home creak open and you got up from your spot before quickly going to the door. Your eyes widened when you saw Remus a little bit more worse for wear than he normally was. You rushed forward and made it to his side, wrapping an arm around him before leading him into the bedroom where you could tend to his wounds. You gently put him down on the bed. 

You gathered the supplies you needed quickly to help him from the wounds that he had given to himself. You moved towards him seeing him looking at you with a helpless look. You began to tend to each one of his wounds lovingly knowing that this was going to be harder on him than it normally was. You were just glad that he was alright. 

He let out a soft hiss as you tended to one of the worse wounds that he had given to himself. 

“Sorry.” You said softly as you carefully tended to it with a worried gaze coming on your face. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“What for my sweet Remus?” You asked softly as you began to bandage his wound up. 

“You shouldn’t have to see me like this ever.” He whispered softly looking up into your eyes. 

You knew what he meant. He said this every time he came back from a rough transformation and it didn’t bother you. You loved him and that was all that mattered to you. Your love for him would conquer all and you weren’t about to let him go by any means. “Remus you say that all the time.” You said softly as you placed a soft kiss on the bandage looking into his blue green eyes. 

“But you shouldn’t put yourself through this.” He admitted softly.  He hated the fact that he had tied you down and there was no way that you would be able to find another lover after being with him for so long. You would be tainted in the eyes of the wizarding world. “You should be with someone that can make you happy.”

“Remus.” You said softly putting your hand to his lips hushing him. You knew that you needed to tell him and he needed to hear it every time he came back from the full moon. “I love you, I’m happy with you. You make me the happiest witch in the world. I’m never going to leave you. No matter what. You’re stuck with me.”