Sometimes, we're so focused on reacting to the disrespect that we receive from others that we don't realise how we give up our self-respect in the process. If we continue in reaction mode for long enough, we'll find ourselves not only returning the favour by treating them the way that they treat us, but we'll also find ourselves blaming them for our response. That's when we go beyond losing our self-respect and we begin losing ourselves completely. Strangely though, we're unlikely to do this with everyone. We'll often encounter total strangers or mere acquaintances who will treat us badly, but we'll ignore them and continue focusing on what is important to us. Therefore, the answer lies in how much significance we place in those relationships to which we lose ourselves. The more significant that we want to be in their lives, the more we'll convince ourselves about their significance in ours. That's how we become emotionally invested in being treated with respect by them. The less respect we receive, the more intense our emotional experience, resulting in us fighting fire with fire. In other words, giving them a taste of their own medicine. That's when respect becomes optional. When we convince ourselves that treating others the way that they treat us is in fact justice, when the truth is that it is returning their bitterness with our bitterness towards them. That's how we give up the good of who we are. The greatest tragedy in all of this is that when we lose ourselves, we also lose sight of the struggles, or the low self-esteem that they're experiencing which causes them to treat us badly. Instead of breaking that cycle, we feed it, and in the process, harm ourselves as much as we believed they were harming us. When respect becomes optional based on how we're treated by others, we give them the power to define how we feel about ourselves. To whom are you giving your power today? #selfworth #selfawareness #ownyourlife #selfmastery #mindfulness #personalpower #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism (at The Egosystem) https://www.instagram.com/p/CU4HS3jKi4z/?utm_medium=tumblr

The truth is, if you want to matter that much to someone else, shouldn't they matter equally as much to you? If they do, and you find that they don't have as much time for you as they used to, or are behaving differently to what you know them to be about, do you claim your privilege to be treated better than that, or do you show sincere concern for what they may be dealing with? Busting mental health myths is essential to break the cycle that feeds toxic victim mindsets. The problem with this meme is that is encourages self-centered perspectives and denies the struggles that someone else may be going through. Sometimes the ones we love may be so overwhelmed by what they're going through that withdrawal from the world is the only way that they believe they can cope. It's not about how much you may want them to lean on you, or take comfort from you. Sometimes, their battle with themselves drives them to want to protect others from the impact that it is having on them. Don't be so quick to write people off. When you do that, you lose the right to ask others to give you the benefit of the doubt when you're going through a struggle that no one else understands. Sacrificing what you need in favour of understanding someone you love, is sometimes the greatest gift of love you could give anyone. Even if they don't realise it at the time. It's about what you want to gift to them, not what you need from them that matters. #love #loveyourself #relationshipgoals #companionship #soulmates #mybeloved #zaidismail #victimmindset #victimmentality #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #ownyourshit #embracingME https://www.instagram.com/p/CGwVp4ADKlE/?igshid=13tc7lw7vvaeh

Be gentle…to you When you treat the vulnerable or the gentle ones with contempt, you create the same monsters that made you.

Give without the expectation of receiving. And when you don't receive, give some more. Waiting for others to return the favour before we do more denies us the fulfilment of being who we are, while compromising our values to be who they are. Remember, we cannot give what we don't have, so when you withhold your gifts because you're waiting for others to respond in kind first, you're assuming that they have within them what drove you to give of yourself in the first place. It's a crazy cycle. Break it by giving without the expectation of receiving from them in return. That's the secret to fulfilment and contentment in our lives. #hope #expectation #sincerity #entitlement #gentleness #conviction #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #mentalhealth #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #philanthropy #generosityofspirit #givingback (at Hagia Sophia Museum) https://www.instagram.com/p/B4O34DTgxYr/?igshid=4ush8snay0ab

I have yet to meet someone who behaves poorly when they feel appreciated. Yet, we're most often focused on the poor behaviour instead of their feeling of insignificance. And the same is true for us. Our anger, bitterness, or rebellion is simply an expression intended to reclaim our significance when significant others are not taking us seriously. This doesn't excuse the behaviour, but, hopefully, it prompts us to be more understanding rather than judgemental when we find ourselves faced with unacceptable behaviour from those around us. #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #theegosystem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #gratitude #compassion #understanding (at Johannesburg) https://www.instagram.com/p/B4Hch5gAhdm/?igshid=yvx8mg77havy

You must have had someone tell you that your perception is your reality. What they probably didn't tell you is that your perception is based on what you want from a situation, and not what you see. If you're looking for good, you'll find evidence to confirm the good in it, and the same is true if you're looking for fault. You'll find reason to judge harshly. Knowing why you're looking for good or bad is the real wisdom that we need to connect with. That's why self awareness, or emotional mindfulness is so important. #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #theegosystem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #perception #reality (at Montecasino Piazza) https://www.instagram.com/p/B2GbaEZAEX_/?igshid=b7kq9zlqt4yw

This is not always easy, especially if you're a parent. Our nurturing instinct is to protect from failure or adversity, but when encouraging our kids, or anyone else towards achieving their dreams, we need to resist that nurturing and protective instinct and instead focus on understanding and support. This is equally true for the one pursuing their dream. They need to put in the effort to get others to understand what their dream is, and why, so that they can get buy-in to what they want to achieve. It's always easier than doing it alone. So, be a dream maker, not a dream breaker. #dreams #aspirations #distractions #commitment #ambition #goals #career #personaldevelopment #compassion #parenting #theegosystem #mindfulness #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery (at Johannesburg) https://www.instagram.com/p/ByriGPqg75i/?igshid=1hi4dwz11fydv

We imprison ourselves each time we restrain our natural expression because we're afraid that it won't be appreciated, or celebrated. Our need for approval or validation soon becomes our greatest crutch in life, until eventually it becomes our prison. We decorate its walls with images and scraps that honour the past, sometimes recalling moments of joy, but often also anchoring us in moments of pain. We hold those mementoes up as trophies and garlands that need to be revered by others before we're willing to set them back down, believing that unless someone else knows our pain, we cannot let it go. Our need to be comforted about the aches and losses of the past is not because we need to be comforted, but because we need to feel as if someone cares for us...for what we're hurting about. It's not always the hurt that's important. Often, knowing that someone cares that we're hurting, and that they care enough to want us to stop hurting, is what shackles us to our past, because letting it go also means that we have no way to test if we're significant to those around us. The prisons that protect us from experiencing a beautiful life are often just a single moment away. Sadly, we most often wait for someone else to create that moment of release for us before we're willing to love ourselves enough to create it for ourselves. Photo credit : Adobe Stock #imprisonment #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #narcissism #narcissisticabuse #lifecoaching #zaidismail https://www.instagram.com/p/COzI-8xj8Mk/?igshid=1itxt6jp097gp