#thedwarves

A lost Dwarves afterthought finally sees the light of day, something it’s members rarely did.

Those who’ve perused the original, tactile, book thing of the We Never Learn philosophical transom (called We Never Learn: The Gunk Punk Undergut, 1988-2001, natch!) know well the obsession we harbor for the Dwarves. Well just as the Dwarves were ascending to the sleaziest heights/depths of new era trash rock at the dawn on the 1990s, there crawled out one unheralded 7″ (on Sympathy for the Record Industry, 1991) from a band called Penetration Moon that had a guy on the back cover who sure looked like Dwarves leader Blag Jesus. And the member names, pictures, and the music all seemed to seethe like the most boogie rock ends of the Dwarves speedy porn punk. Being a pre-Google era, I asked around, and sure enough it was a quickie side project that was never heard from again. Until Now.

A few months back, ceaselessly churning Burger Records released a full album from Penetration Moon, from the same session as the 7″, and it is a corker! 12 blasts of trashcan boogie and cat spray-covered glam-punk, originals and “tasteful” covers, and everything I’d hoped might’ve been done when I first picked up that 7″ way back.

After seeing the Dwarves again a couple weeks ago -- great show! -- I checked in with Blag about how/why Penentration Moon ever rose again.

So tell me the basic history of Penetration Moon?

Penetration hung out in San Francisco summer 1991. It was formed at the Chatterbox club with members of the Dwarves, the Jackson Saints and Sonic Brain Jam. We played three or four shows and did one recording in one day.

Can you tell me the members and their names; and I assume they all played on the album?

The best thing about Penetration – we only added the “Moon” part because Sympathy for the Record Industry said there were a couple other bands called Penetration already, so we needed to change it for the 7” – was the names of the guys in the band.

Junior High - vocals; Pinky Slim - guitar; Muff Brandywine - phantom bass; Spider Harley - guitar; and Bjorn Luzer - drums. Sgt. Saltpeter also stopped by the session, jammed a bit, and took pictures.

Penetration Moon 7″

I bet he did! The known photos of the band are quite, uh, randy. Is there a member of Penetration Moon -- present company excluded -- who was particularly nasty?

Penetration was the band that would finger your girlfriend while you were at the bar getting a drink. Everyone was a complete piece of shit. We drank constantly, got high, and plotted how to get laid pretending to be in a metal band.

When/where was the album recorded?

I worked with a guy named Leon. A great guy with no clue how to record things. We did it all in a day, then I tried to mix it and wound up just doing the two tracks for the 7” on Sympathy. John is still the coolest label guy ever, fuck anyone who says otherwise.

Was it made right before or after the Dwarves’ Thank Heaven for Little Girls, because I feel like some of it sounds in the vein of Sugar Fix.

I think it was either right before or right after Thank Heaven, maybe before because I was still working at Hamburger Mary’s then, or I had just been fired. Homosexuals aren’t as fun to work for as one might think. Of course, the same thing could be said of the entire music industry.

Any memories of recording it?

I don’t remember anything actually. We got really fucked up.

Why didn't you release it back then?

I still thought the Dwarves were going to take over the music scene, and everyone who had doubted me would admit how wrong they had been and what a genius I really was.  I’m still waiting!

And how/why did you decide to unleash it now, including how Burger got involved?

I met a great mix engineer named Andy Carpenter down in Orange County, and I knew if anyone could salvage that murky ridiculous recording it was him.  And he did!  We didn’t re-record anything, just edited and mixed, and it came out really great.  Andy Now!

How did it all end back then?

Spider had a band that was big in SF and had never recorded anything. They got mad at him for making a recording with me and he had to quit. Pinky ran out of couches to sleep on. Bjorn was consumed by eczema. Muff did so much meth he thought there were bugs under his skin. As for me, I went on to become a punk rock legend. But you already knew that!

Is there any chance of a Penetration Moon show? Were there any sporadic reunions?

We got together at a reunion for the Chatterbox bar about three years ago. I hadn’t had a drink in decades, but I downed 12 Jager shots and did the show admirably, only occasionally lapsing into an English accent or saying “Dwarves, yeah, legends,” forgetting the name of the band I was actually playing with.

Are you in touch with the members still, or have visiting hours shortened since the last time I visited prison?

I am still friends with all of them, but I still wouldn’t trust any of them near my girlfriend. Penetration forever!

So in my effort to paint different things, I come to another boardgame “The Dwarves”. You can buy via the “Pegasus Shop” (http://www.pegasus.de/detailansicht/51925e-the-dwarves-base-game/).