#thebangtancloud

"You're cool, bro!"

"I know I am."

The brightest laugh bubbled out of your chest upon hearing the interaction between your better half, Jin, and Yoongi's son, the little boy being no older than 4 years.

Jin's eyes flitted across the room, a warm smile stretching across his face at the sound of your laughter. He ruffled his nephew's hair, carefully placing his own brown pair of sunglasses onto the boy's head, the frame large and covering almost half of his tiny face.

Jin giggled at that, playing with the boy's ears fondly as he looked up at Jin with the brightest pair of eyes.

"Can I keep these?" he asked him cutely, Jin suppressing the urge to completely gobble him up that very instant.

"Hmm," Jin placed a hand over his chin, supposedly deep in thought. "I don't know what your father would say about that."

He giggled, making tiny grabby hands and urging Jin to lend his ear to him. Jin leaned forward, the boy's lips attaching to his ear which he cupped with his palms, whispering softly,

"He doesn't have to know!"

"Oh really?" Jin chuckled, falling back to sit on his heels, knees on the floor in front of his favorite little boy but somehow still managing to tower over him.

He giggled sheepishly, raising a shy hand to cover his mouth.

"Mommy is secretly scared of daddy finding out that I call you bro. But I tell her, you're cooler than daddy, so you're fine with it."

Jin's eyebrows flew up in surprise, an enamored laugh leaving him.

"I am cooler, thank you very much. You may keep my sunglasses."

The little boy squealed in delight, jumping up and down in excitement before he threw himself into Jin's arms who accepted him with the happiest smile.

You watched from a distance, the smile on your face now beginning to hurt but you couldn't stop it even if you tried, the scene unfolding in front of you making you feel like you were floating on the clouds. Your eyes followed the little boy who was now placing the sunglasses delicately in its case to protect it, his fingers, chubby and too cute for you to handle, pinching back the button to close it.

"Honey, you're here," your husband grinned, walking over and delicately pulling you into his embrace.

"I am," you confirmed, palms resting on his shoulders.

"I've missed you," he sang gently, leaving feather-light kisses all over your face. You laughed in delight, catching the side of his face with one hand as you traced the ending of his eyebrow with the other.

"You saw me this morning."

"I miss you even when you leave me to take a shower," he dedicatedly explained, nodding slowly so that you understood his point. "I would be really sad if you don't miss me that way too."

You were tempted to kiss away the pout that was forming at his lips, so that's just what you did. Leaning upon the tips of your toes, you pressed your lips against his own protruding pink ones, his eyes shutting peacefully and interlocking his fingers behind your back.

"I miss you every second of every day, my love," you whispered against his lips, his eyelids drooping halfway as he gazed down at you.

"That's good because it would hurt my pride if you didn't miss this handsome face of mine."

Your head fell back in fascination, clutching onto him as your body shook with each laugh that he took. You could never get used to his confidence, even though you had been married for a year, each time he talks about his handsome face, it somehow catches you off guard, the knowledge of which he kept as a secret hidden in his heart so that he could use it whenever he wanted to get you flustered.

"You and your handsome face can kiss my butt," you giggled, wiping at the corner of your eye.

He smirked, nodding cheekily.

"I'd love to."

"Oh stop," you slapped his shoulder again, to which he began to laugh with you, a smug expression keeping his eyebrows raised at you.

Jin held you to him for a while, letting his eyes take their time to trail over every little feature of yours, your hair falling in gentle waves around your face and below your shoulder, cascading down into soft, silky curls that you had styled it into this morning. He took in your beauty with every breath like you were his first cup of coffee in the morning, gentle and loving eyes scrunching up at the corners with every heart-warming laugh.

Jin wondered what he had done to be blessed with such a wonderful woman. A girl with whom he had taken his sweet time to fall in love, a girl who grew and matured with him, who stood by him through thick and thin, a girl who watched him become a man just as he had watched her become a gorgeous young woman, his woman.

The woman who cried when he cried, the woman who laughed when he laughed, the woman who stayed up later than necessary just because she wanted to make sure he eats his meal instead of just jumping straight into bed after he returned from work.

Jin, even if he tried, could never put it into words. Regardless of the numerous songs that he had written about you, for you, to you. He could never fully express or give justice to the amount of love he had for you. And even if it was a simple statement, he knew that it was not his mouth but his own heart that had uttered it.

"I want to have a baby with you."

He watched you, analyzing your reaction as the smile instantly left your face, eyes wide in shock as you stared up at him.

"Really?"

"Mhm," he nodded, dragging his fingernails along your scalp and pushing back your hair away from your face.

"I know you've been waiting for me," he murmured, his hand reaching the back of your head to pull it towards his mouth, letting his lips rest against the crown of your head. "Thank you for waiting for me."

"Jin," you whispered, broken and soft, not even realizing that you were crying. "I can't believe you're actually telling me this."

"I am, sweetheart," he smiled at you. "Unless you want someth-"

"No," you placed your hand over his mouth to stop him from talking. "I want this, I want this more than anything. I don't even- I was just thinking of telling you about this tonight after I saw you interacting with Yoongi's son. It made me imagine what you would be like if we had a son of our own."

"Do you think we'll have a son?" Jin's mouth opened as he stared down at you in amazement.

"Yeah," you touched his cheek, "He will be the most dashing boy, just like his father."

"I think we will have a daughter, I don't know why. I just have a feeling that we would, and she would be the most breath-taking girl in the world, just like her mother."

You stared up at him in awe, a heavy tear sliding down the side of your face which he brushed away in an instant.

"I love you so much," you confessed, truly meaning it with every inch of your being.

"I love you, sweetheart," he whispered, holding your hand and bringing it up to his lips.

📍

"I love you so much," he cried, trembling hands holding your lifeless one in his own.

"I can't lose you, please," he pleaded with you, harsh sobs squeezing the air out of his lungs as every movement around him turned into a dull buzz. His sole focus was on you, his wife. His life.

And as he watched people try to bring your life back into you, he felt his own existence seep out of him.

"Please, come back to me," he begged you, holding your fingers to his mouth, his tears and saliva making a mess on your skin but that was the least of his worries. He prayed desperately, he tried everything he could, going to the extent of speaking to your heart and telling it to beat again.

The paramedics had been performing CPR on you for the past four minutes, the longest time Jin had ever felt utterly destroyed and on the verge of death himself. As much as he didn't want to, Jin began to imagine the moment he takes his own life after all of this would be over because he simply couldn't accept the fact that you were dying in his own arms.

"Baby, remember that day? Tell me you remember it, I was so sure we would have a daughter, and we did, remember?" He blubbered, touching your face as it slowly lost its color. "You remember, right?"

"No pulse, commencing CPR!" the paramedic yelled out, Jin's heart crushing painfully as he screamed out in agony.

"Please! You remember right? Baby," he sobbed, shaking your shoulder weakly, "please, tell me..."

"Sir, we need to get her to the hospital right now, please move," someone instructed as Jin felt himself being hoisted up by the arms.

"No," he shook his head vigorously, shaking them off and falling back next to you, "No, she's going to come back to me, right now."

The paramedics didn't care about that, clearly knowing better and understanding the urgency of the situation, brushing Jin out of the way and moving to pick up the stretcher that you were laying on.

Just as their hands grabbed the handles, a loud voice yelled out.

"Wait!"

For just a moment, the whole world paused, eyes wide and catching every minute movement, no one uttering a single word save for the people who were working on extinguishing the fire in the burning house behind them.

"She's got a pulse!"

With a shout, Jin fell back onto the ground in shock, pulling his knees up and crying bitterly into them, every person around them cheering at the news of you coming back from the door of death. As much as Jin wanted to hold you right up to him until you woke up, he let them carry you into the ambulance where you could receive the proper care that you needed.

"Daddy, mama?" Jin heard his little girl ask him, the remainder of the cries leaving her with occasional hiccups and white tracks of her tears over the dirt on her cheeks.

"Yes, princess," Jin nodded, taking his daughter into his arms and pressing her to his chest, a heavy sigh escaping his chest.

"Mama is going to be fine, mama is not leaving us."

~

Sleep never came to Jin even if it had been half a day since he had been sitting patiently by the hospital bed, waiting for you to wake up. He insisted that he would be the first person you would lay your eyes on as soon as you opened them, so he didn't take any chances, leaving his daughter in the safety of Yoongi's care as he sat with your hand sandwiched between his own.

Jin briefly watched your parents come in to meet you, then his own who brought along with them a few boxes of food and fruit juices, but he just couldn't find it in his heart to eat without you.

In his silence, Jin replayed every memory that he had of you, a timeline that started over seven years ago when he had first laid his eyes on you. He remembered thinking what it was about you that was just a little different from every other girl he had seen.

Unlike the few other relationships that he had in his life, Jin had, for the first time, allowed himself to take it slow. He patiently let your story find its own path, learning how to trust. Learning how to give.

Learning how to love.

Jin was a hopeless romantic; if you will. He believed that true love comes your way just once, and after three full years of being your friend, Jin came to the realization that what he felt for you was indeed true love.

But then again, he remembered falling down that same hill, twice as hard, the moment he touched his daughter for the first time. He remembered wondering how it was humanly possible for a baby to have such supple, sweet-smelling skin. He wondered how it was possible that the little girl in his hands, just small enough to fit perfectly in them, was half of him. Half of you.

He experienced a whole new dimension of love when he saw her open her eyes and peer up at him curiously. Even though he would never admit it, Jin was always afraid that his daughter would cry whenever he picked her up. But it was as if she knew his voice. Her cries would cease whenever he would gently sing to her. Her eyes would widen in curiosity whenever he looked down at her and made the cutest sounds for her to be entertained.

He loved his daughter, more than he could ever think was possible.

But somewhere down the lane, Jin learned how to respect you even more after you gave birth. He had watched you struggle for hours, brave yet broken, bringing forth the child that you both had created. He learned how to acknowledge the motherly affection that you had surprisingly acquired not too long after your daughter came into the world.

He remembered certain instances where that rubbed off on him too. You would unknowingly treat him as if he was your child too, gentle fingers wiping away at his mouth after he had finished his meal, loving eyes watching over him whenever he did anything. Jin smiled at the memory of falling asleep on you, his head nestled over your bosom as you ran your thumb over his temple, a touch that you used to get your daughter to calm down and fall asleep.

Even if he tried, Jin constantly found himself dumbfounded whenever he thought of the love that he felt towards you. And he cursed at himself for ever doubting the fact that you were the one for him.

He knew that his last words to you before the tragedy took place was something no one should ever have to hear, and he felt rotten that it was him who had directed those words towards you. And soon, his train of thought was broken by a soft brush against his hand.

"Jagiya," he gasped out, the tears falling almost instantly as he looked over your sleeping form. You weren't awake, but your finger had moved within his hold. He was sure of it.

He picked up your hand to delicately place the softest kiss on it, thanking God for sparing your life this time. He was relieved to know that you didn't suffer any physical injuries or burns, yet the fact that you had suffered a stoppage of your heart due to smoke inhalation, Jin shuddered at the thought of losing you forever.

"Jagi," he whispered, gently running a finger over your hairline.

"I'm waiting for you. I'll be right here when you wake up."

And he waited. He didn't go back on his word. Without a single distraction, without a single complaint, he sat beside you and prayed over every little thing, wishing for nothing but excellent health for his wife and little girl.

"I love you so much."

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@bangtanfancamp

Forever my favorite author. There's just something about her style of writing that has me putting my phone down in the middle of a story just to squeal happily because it touched my heart in ways I never thought were possible. I've never come across an author like her, and to date, I always go back to her blog to re-read her works. Here are some of my favorites:

Make A Wish,

Black Silk,

Champagne Silk,

Cultivating a Life with You.

✨

@jiminrings

I love love love her writings SO MUCH. I remember sitting by my window with my phone in my hand, waiting not so patiently for Heartburn Part 2, and it left me with such a bittersweet memory. Her angst is...indescribable. Words can't express the amount of pain yet comfort I feel whenever I read her works, cuz she's just that good. Here are some of my favorites:

Heartburn Series Masterlist,

How Long Will We Fall,

Loving You Is All I Know,

Take Five.

✨

@blu-joons

Okay, I simply love all the reactions I find here. I've never come across an author who posts so regularly and dedicatedly the way she does and I guess it's spoiled me a little too much. I mostly come to Tumblr to write, but when I'm in the mood to read, her blog is one of the first ones I go to. The diversity in this blog...blows my mind. Honestly, I couldn't pick a favorite, even if I tried. Here's the master list if you want to open this treasure box:

Masterlist

✨

Here are some other personal favorites:

Change the Ending ~ @jiminmellow

Stuck Together ~ @jeonvely

AND AND AND here's a few works of mine that I find myself re-reading hehe;

"I'm sorry it had to be me."

All the things I didn't do.

wow. thank you so much, truly. reading your words left me feeling overwhelmed bc you took the time to share them with me. the fact that this is what you choose to be your first time interacting through an ask reflects how sweet your soul is. extraordinary.

im grateful to you for opening up about the hard time you’ve been having as well. i put so much pressure on myself to be perfect and better, and it’s hard when im missing support irl. i feel embarrassed about my feelings, so your words are comforting. i’m telling myself i can take them, that i deserve to hear them.

i will be here for you if you ever need support. i may not be able to do much more than send a few lines or a sweet picture like the seokmin gif you shared, but it’s good to know people see you. it’s important to know people believe in you and see your worth despite the hard times. i’m working on seeing that for myself, within myself.

i’m so glad you’re enjoying my pieces. oh, this melts my heart, truly. i’m not sure i’d still be functioning if i couldn’t write. sometimes it’s all i can do, and i thank you for consuming what i share. knowing seeing i’ve posted makes you smile is the best thing i’ve read all day. i just want to continue sharing.

“you’re doing great already” 😭🤧