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I read the testaments last night and I couldn’t sleep til 4am after I read it. It was quite different to what I expected. The stakes didn’t feel as high as handmaid’s tale and the plot felt underwhelming. But I really liked maragaret atwood’s writing, her characters and the way she retained the found document structure and didn’t reveal offred’s name. I really liked reading the perspectives I just wish she explored the rot of gilead deeper and in a different way. It was a very interesting sequel to the first novel but i fear as always the prequel will always be better than the sequel here. Nonetheless it was alright. I don’t regret staying up late and I’m still struggling to process everything. Probably three stars?
Fr I love that what broke Agnes’s faith in Gilead and got her to start truly rebelling was what happened to Becka. Sure she was sad and pining over Garth before that and clearly not happy with how the matchmaking process had gone, but she still believed her father would help Becka, she still believed in the system. It wasn’t until after the system betrayed them both and Becka was in grave danger that she figured out that the system could not be trusted and she started truly fighting back by saying just the right things to sway three people with power. Like, Agnes, what radicalized you? Seeing Becka get dragged away by the Eyes, obvs. Which, even if it didn’t feel a little gay what with how badly it broke her, is a phenomenal show of girl power. It’s a huge statement about the importance of their relationship to her, it re-establishes Becka as the most important person in her life, and I ate it up.
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The next day at school, before the girls could all see each other, Daisy pulled Cordelia to the side.
"We need to talk," she said.
Cordelia looked around to make sure that there were no other girls listening to their conversation, "About what?"
"Well first, you have to stop acting like that around Becka," she said, almost scolding her for her behaviour.
She scoffed, trying to hold back the anger she felt about the situation, "Shes a bragging bitch," she stated, "She knows it gets under my skin,"
"Well you cannot let it. This will happen whether you like it or not and I am sorry but you can't take it out on her," Daisy said, knowing that the girl knew it deep down.
Cordelia did know it, she knew that it was not Becka's fault and that she was just as trapped here as she was.
She sighed, trying to change the subject, "And what was the other thing?"
"I got my period," Daisy explained, watching the girls eyes go wide, "Shunammite and Agnes are helping me hide it,"
"Okay, well if you need anything, let me know," she said, placing a hand on the girls shoulder.
Before she could say anything, Aunr Estee walked past, "Girls, get to class,"
The engagement party made Cordelia want to claw her eyes out. And that was putting it lightly because Becka was still her friend and she should support her.
Naomi arrived with Cordelia because she knew how nervous the girl was about being there, but also because she had been good friends with Rose Chapin, Garth's mother.
"Hey," Naomi said, placing her hand on the girls shoulder, "You will be fine," she promised.
She sighed, shaking her head, "This is like my worst nightmare," she looked over at the drinks table, "I'll see you in a bit,"
She started walking over, trying to ignore the Chapin family in the corner, "Cordelia, darling," a voice called out and she turned around to see Garth's mother Rose waving to her from the other side of the room.
Becka looked at her confused, not sure how she knew her. Cordelia rushed over and the woman pulled her in for a hug.
"My goodness, do you not just get more beautiful everyday?" She asked teasingly.
She laughed, a smile on her face. She had missed this family more than she wanted to admit, "If that is in God's will,"
Cordelia looked over, a smile on her face as she bent down to kiss Commander Chapin on the cheek. She knew who he was, what he had done, and why Mayday had poisioned him. But still, he was like a second father to her.
"And you have not aged a day Ron," she said, placing her hand over his on the mobility chair.
He smiled and Becka gasped. It was the first time that she had seen the near paralysed man smile, like he wanted to put the effort in for her.
"You'll give him an ego," Garth said and she turned around to look at him.
Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him all dressed up in his suit for his engagement party. She had always seen herself in Becka's shoes, ever since she was a little girl.
"Garth," she said with a smile, leaning in to hug him. The two shared a cordial embrace, like two friends who hadn't seen each other in nearly a year - which is what his parents thought.
"Garth?" Becka questioned, the words like venom on her tongue, "He is Guardian Chapin to you,"
The girl still remembered the conversation from yesterday when Cordelia had embarrassed her and chastised her at the table for it.
She turned to her slowly, a coy smile pulling at her lips as she realised that she held the upper hand, "The Chapin's are family friends, we have always called each other by first names,"
"Yes dear, Cordelia is my boy's oldest friend. She has been with the family through nearly everything," she explained, "Speaking of which, where is your mother, I must see her,"
She wrapped her arms around the girls shoulders, both waving goodbye to Becka before they walked into the party.
"My dear, may I be frank with you?" She said, pausing at the drinks table.
Cordelia nodded, brows furrowed. Rose Chapin was a good woman, a very pious woman, which meant that she never engaged in any gossip or slander of Gilead, "Of course,"
She sighed like there was something weighing on her mind, "I do not like this Becka girl," she admitted, shoulders dropping as the weight of her confession fell away, "I just always thought that one day, you know, Garth would marry you,"
Cordelia could feel the tears burning behind her eyes at the confession. She had to hold herself together, not allowing anyone else to see the emotion she felt.
She looked over her shoulder and saw Garth watching the conversation. He flashed her a smile and her heart broke into a million pieces.
"I understand Rose, my father always thought I would marry Garth as well," she said, a sad smile on her face, "But Aunt Lydia didn't approve the match, and anyway, my stepfather would never have approved,"
Rose Chapin placed a hand on the girls shoulder, "Perhaps, in another time, God will grant you your wishes," she said.
Cordelia put on a fake smile because she knew that Rose was devoted to God, that the path he had written out was the correct one and there should be no deviation, "I pray for that,"
She spotted her mother across the room, flashing her a look that said to come and save her. She nodded, rushing over with excitement, "Rosie! How are you?"
As the two women caught up on their lives, Cordelia noticed her three other friends standing together. Shunammite gave her a sad smile as she walked over.
"You know the Chapin's?" Hulda asked, having noticed the interaction.
She put on a cordial smile, "Yeah, we knew each other in Boston," she explained, the girls looking at each other like they had unlocked new information on their friend.
"What happened to him?" Agnes asked, gesturing to his father who was in a wheelchair.
"He fought for Boston, they would have lost the city sooner if it weren't for him," she explained.
"Don't they have any Martha's?" Hulda asked, looking around.
Shunammite rolled her eyes, "I guess you don't need Martha's when you live in a house this small,"
Cordelia could feel that sickness still in her chest at all of the cordial conversation and small talk. She excused herself, practically rushing outside, leaning her head against the wall in anguish.
A few moments later, she heard a glass shattering but she was too in her own head to deal with it.
Cordelia cursed herself because she had a job to do, she had to work for Mayday and help free the women of Gilead but instead, all she could think about was some boy.
"You okay Cordelia?" A voice asked and she turned to see Daisy walking outside with Garth and his father.
She nodded, walking over and helping to wipe his father's cheek, he gave her a soft smile but she knew that was the extent of his abilities.
"What happened to him?" Daisy asked.
"He was poisoned," Garth explained, looking over at the girl who was dutifull checking on his father.
He remembered the day it had happened. Cordelia was living in New Bethlehem at the time with her new mother but had come back after her father's death.
Garth had cried into her shoulder all night after he had seen his father in the hospital. They had been so young then, ger dress still pink, his blue.
"It was an assassination attempt by Mayday," Cordelia explained. She remembered hearing about it years afterwards, how they had poisoned tons of Commanders at a brothel.
"My father is the bravest man I've ever known," he said, a sad look on his eyes, "He was just fighting for the wrong side?"
"Can he hear us?" Daisy asked.
Cordelia shook her head, "Only up close, plus, he can't speak or write so it's okay," she said, looking down at him with a sense of pity.
"How are you going to get out of this? Your wedding?" Daisy asked, looking at Garth.
He sighed, almost like he didn't want to be having this conversation in front of Cordelia, "I'm not gonna get out of it," he said, "I wish I could,"
"You don't love her," Daisy stated.
"You don't expect to marry someone you love in Gilead," he looked over at Cordelia who was stoic, shoulders back and head held high, "I never expected to fall in love with anyone, so it's made it harder that I have,"
Daisys eyes darted between the two of them, "Well damn, you finally admitted it to each other,"
"We'll make it work," Cordelia said, looking over at him.
It was the first time since both of their engagements that they had mentioned wanting to keep seeing each other, wanting to maintain what they had and to fight for it.
He nodded, "Of course," he turned back to Daisy, "Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?"
She took a deep breath, "I got my period," she announced.
His eyes went wide, looking between the two girls, "Blessed be the fruit," he said, almost an automated response to that.
Cordelia chuckled slightly before her friend glared daggers at her, "Are you kidding me? I need you to get me tampons or something I can hide,"
"I don't know what those are," He stuttered, confused and not really wanting to talk about this subject.
"If the Aunts find out, they'll marry me off," she said, breathing shakily at the thought of having to be stuck in Gilead for the rest of her life, "I need you to get me out of here. I'm done,"
Daisy was practially begging now. She hadn't realised how difficult the task was when she first signed up for it and now she was going to be stuck here.
She scoffed, "There is no done," Cordelia said, "We have to stay until we win,"
"I want to destroy Gilead, me and Delia both do, you know how much we do,," he looked at her, blue eyes piercing through her, "A lot of people risked everything to get you in here because you wanted the same thing. So, what do you want?"
She rolled her eyes, "Let me think," she turned away, walking back through the doors which left the two of them out there.
"Hey," Garth said, his hand reaching for his risk. He brushed his thumb over her pulse point, feeling the way that her heart sped up at his touch.
"Hey," she echoed, blush spreading across her cheeks.
Cordelia was a strong woman who had power in Gilead, in Mayday. But when she was around Garth, she crumbled into a blubbering schoolgirl and that was something that needed to change.
"Come here," he whispered, voice low as he looked around.
Stepping towards him, Cordelia also looked around to make sure that nobody could see them talking by themselves, "Garth," she whispered.
"Just one kiss," his voice seemed deeper than it normally was as his eyes flickered down to her lips.
She rolled her eyes, "Fine, just one,"
He smiled, fingers resting underneath her chin and pulling her face up to his so he could press a chaste kiss to her lips. The kiss sent chills down her spine, causing her eyes to flutter shut.
"You gotta stop doing that," she said as she pulled away, her cheeks now visibly bright red at his affectionate touch.
The cheeky smile spread across his face again, "Doing what?" He questioned.
"Flirting with me in public, you are soon to have a wife," she said, her heart breaking a little bit at the mention of it.
He nodded, leaning in and brushing his hand across her cheek, "You are the strongest, most beautiful woman I know. We can make it though this," he promised.
Garth kissed her one more time, this time on her forehead before he looked at her again, almost as if he were trying to recite her face to memory so when he would lie in bed at night, all by himself, he could think of this moment.
As he walked away, helping his dad back inside, Cordelia just watched. She knew this would all work out, but right now she didn't know how.
All she knew is that she was going to stay strong, she was going to stop letting her emotions cloud her judgements and she was going to take Gilead down, burn it brick by brick.
Hello Easy Silence fans!! First off, thank you for all of your support. I have been writing this series since the show began and thought nobody would want to read a Garth x OC fanfiction but decided I loved the story I'd planned out too much not to share it. I am currently on holiday and this is the last chapter I had pre-written so next update will be in a few days but I promise, it'll be some good angst.
My main question I wanted to pose is what do we want to happen to Cordelia. I am a massive fan of the book The Testaments and those who have read it may know that Garth is a minor character in that, never actually stepping foot in Gilead so all of his storylines with Daisy, Agnes and Becka never happen so I have no idea where this version is heading for Garth.
Currently, I have two options (spoilers for anyone who hasn't finished the TV show). 1: Garth marries Becka and Cordelia end ups back at the school with Agnes, Shu and Daisy (no spoilers for how she ends up there, I have plans). Or 2: Garth marries Cordelia after Becka kills her dad, and he marries Becka off to his friend who is a good guy.
Let me know which ending you guys would prefer as I have no clue what direction they are heading in for the next season. I could pick one and maybe change it if I don't like the way next season starts in comparison. But anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for the constant support here and I can't wait for you to read the next chapters!!!
