#the savior

I love you. Don't come back. (Tim did, at one point, live with Jason for a few weeks.)

I love you. Don't come back. (Is his habit of crashing in Jason’s safe houses actually that bad? Jason's been buying his favorite creamer. ...The coffee is iced, which is how Jason prefers his...)

I love you. Don't come back. (What was Jason supposed to do about it? Care?)

I love you. Don't come back. (This is the safehouse Jason favors. Tim knows, because he spent the night here last month after a bad patrol.)

I love you. Don't come back. (You’re so funny. Hahaha. You hear me laughing? You can’t have trauma about that, that was my trauma. You fucking only child, learn to share.)

I love you. Don't come back. (Jason, a little bit, if what they have now can be called friendship.)

“Oh god,” Jason breathes, shoving up weakly and failing, bangs slick with sweat that sticks to the floor and him. “Oh god, not you.” Jason looks like he’s going to start weeping. “EMDEP. Go.” 

I love you. It's okay. Don't come back.

(Jason would know what to do. Jason has already found a way to get outside help. It’s Jason, of course he’s succeeded. Jason’s fucking ruthless. Dick runs and Jason fights. Of course he has, he’s Jason fucking Todd “We need Jason,” Tim says. "...we’ll get Jason, okay? And then—” Tim’s mind blanks completely, because and then what? Jason fixes this?)

-

“Oh boy, they’re going to have such an intervention for you.”

-

“No, you don’t,” Jason says, “you’re not going anywhere. You’re staying where I can see you until I tell you fucking otherwise. Sit.” 

“No,” Jason says.

Jason stands across from him, and leans against the wall next to the empty towel rack. He meets Tim’s eyes and holds his stare. “You’re not telling yourself, and you’re not telling him, you’re telling me. What’s been going on?” 

“Maybe,” Jason agrees, he doesn’t sound like he believes it, “but you’re my baby brother, and I’m not taking any chances anymore.” 

“We’re compromising,” Jason says, “halfway happy.” 

 “I know you need to control something, anything. But not this. Not right now. I won’t let you.”

“I’m not letting you stop me,” Jason puts a hand on Tim’s chest, just setting it there. “You want to see which of us gets our way, babybird?”

“Nothing is going to fucking happen to either of you,” Jason says it so sharply that Tim wants to wince.

“Have you been putting your hands on my brothers, Hadley?”

Tim watches as Jason’s free hand flexes out, every single finger, stretched like he means to overextend his tendons. It is, Tim thinks, the most he has ever seen Jason want to hurt someone.

“Look at me,” Jason implores again. “You are safe."

“It hurts,” Tim wails. “I know, sweetheart, I know,” Jason isn’t steady. He isn’t steady, and Tim isn’t steady, and the world is broken

Tim keeps forgetting that, lets himself believe, even for a second, that he can be helped. 

“It’s not my choice,” Tim says, numb. Jason says, firm, and angry, “Fuck that. It’s mine. And you’re living.”

"I love you so much. I can’t imagine a world with you gone, please don’t make me do that."

“Bruce, I’m sorry.”

LSoL: This is it. Maybe one day we can meet again, if we escape from limbo that is.

I don't know when I will, but, hopefully when I do go, things will end up peaceful. I hope things are at peace for you.