I CAN avoid things that upset me so the blocking G fans on sight will continue. (I’m sorry it’s not all G fans but it’s enough and I’d rather not see anything.)

But I’m also good to keep the G fans I feel safe with (and they have confirmed that if they need curation they’ll tell me instead of doing the cruelest option available)

I showed some screenshots of the shit that’s been going on and she validated that I’m not imagining the assholery and bullying and double standards

She gave me some exercises for when I spiral over the gaslighting aspects specifically and how to ground self

I’m good to continue my ERP as I’ve been doing so (reading safe and vetted fics shared by trusted individuals and writing my own fics)

She reckons I might even progress faster once I recover from the latest bullshit because I won’t be engaging with ppl detrimental to my ill health anymore

She validated that it is normal to be angry and upset and betrayed. And that I can vent on tumblr if I want to because it’s my safe space and if ppl are hurt about me being hurt from them hurting me - that’s on them.

But also encouraged to find other activities to gain confidence and control over things I’m feeling insecure about so yeah I will be doing @murderbotprompts and I will write G how I see him and I won’t apologise for how I saw the TV show and I will talk about it as part of processing it and I will publish the fics and meta I’ve been working on and I shouldn’t have to worry about what ppl who were assholes are thinking because I’m not making those for them.

And I will be setting up The Orville watch parties on a regular basis for soothing background noise

She gave me some advice regarding some things being put into my mouth and how we can keep safe from doxxing or anything like that.

Can’t go up a dose as I’m as high as I can go but I’ll get some sleeping aids. And I’m okay to keep using the beta blockers every day while this is going on.