#the devil's hands

Also these in particular beg the question about the kind of sound that could be done when someone is bottomless, especially if it's less constricting and there's freedom of movement😏

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As always, let me know what you think.

                                          The Devil's Hands

"The greatest harm can result from the best intentions." - Nathan Rahl, Stone of Tears

It had all started out innocently enough. Lou had been walking down the street one sweltering afternoon when he saw a portly, well-dressed man buying a newspaper at a local stand. As the man picked up his newspaper and walked away, Lou noticed a beautiful leather wallet on the stand's counter. Any other day and he might have just walked by, but today he felt compelled to do something nice for someone else. He rushed forward, grabbed the wallet off the counter, and sped off toward the man who was briskly walking away.

"Sir!" Lou cried out, "Your wallet!"

The man turned around, a surprised look on his bearded face. He had already crossed a street and began to make his way back to Lou, suit jacket pulling. Lou all the while was still running, and just as he reached the curb, tripped.

As Lou fell down, the wallet flew up. It went soaring through the air like a small child still attached to their industry-standard bottle rocket. The man in the suit was staring straight up, trying to field it like it was a pop fly.

Lou was also staring at the wallet, and so didn't have the chance to warn the man of the truck barreling down the street toward him.

**********************************************

Lou unlocked his door, trudged into his apartment which reeked of onions, and flopped face down on the couch. That was the fifth one dead this month. He never understood it. Every time he tried to do something good, it always backfired horribly. There was the boy he had given candy to only to find out he was allergic to it. There was the time he found a stray dog, thinking it was lost, and returned it to its "owners" which it proceeded to attack. And the bowtie calamity. Ugh.

He sat up, gripping his head in frustration. "What am I doing wrong?" he shouted to the ceiling. "Drat. You try to redeem yourself, and look what happens." His eye caught the clock. He was going to be late to work. Again.

"Shoot!" He grabbed his uniform and rushed to the elevator. Once in, he closed his eyes and pressed a button. He knew it didn't matter which one he hit. With his luck, it'd go to the place he wanted to be the least: Hell.

He changed into his outfit on the way down.

As he got off the elevator, Lou sighed. It was gonna be another day in Hell. He made his way over to punch-in clock when he heard an annoying, squeaky voice behind him. 

"Hey Loser-fer! Help any grannies cross the street this week?"

He turned around and glowered at the lesser demon in front of him. It's oily skin glistened in the hellfire, though it's horns were pathetically small.

"Shut up Todd. I've had a rough week."

Todd edged up to Lou, his smile full of sharpened teeth. "Aw whassa matter? Little Louie get his feelings hurt? GOOD." Todd snapped. "Or should I say BAD. When are you gonna get it through that fucked up skull that y-"

"Todd I don't have time for your poop today okay? I'm already late and you know how the boss gets."

And, wouldn't you know it, just then a voice like the death rattles of a thousand hoarse kittens emerged from the PA system, distorted by the static. "LUCIFER. MY OFFICE. NOW." 

Todd sneered, his tattered wings unfurling behind him. "Why do you always get to be the lucky one?" he taunted. Then he looked Lou in the eye and screamed "BURN IN HELL LOUIE BABY!" before taking off to attend his next duty.

**********************************************

Lou stood outside of the door labelled "His Most Glorious Bloody Conqueror, the Eternal Damnation of Intelligent Life, Slaughterer of Beauty, Epitome of Reckless Danger, Devourer of Dreams, and General at the Battle of Hopelessness" and wondered if he could quietly sneak away. He took a deep breath, steeled himself, and knocked on the door.

"COME IN" rang out a voice like the sound of red-hot nails being driven through pus-ridden flesh.

Lou opened the door. "You wanted to see me Boss?"

"YES. SIT DOWN" the demon responded with speech that sounded like cross between two dogs literally tearing out each other's throats and tightening a woodshop clamp on a man's testicles. "LISTEN LUCIFER. I'M GOING TO CUT STRAIGHT TO THE CHASE. I WANT TO PROMOTE YOU."

"-and I'm sorry and I promise it'll never happ... What did you say?"

"LUCIFER" spoke His Most Glorious Bloody Conqueror, the Eternal Damnation of Intelligent Life, Slaughterer of Beauty, Epitome of Reckless Danger, Devourer of Dreams, and General at the Battle of Hopelessness in a tongue that would crack the heavens in two and make mortal minds melt, "I AM GETTING TIRED OF MY WORK. SURE IT'S FUN THE FIRST TRILLION SOULS YOU SIPHON THE LIFE FROM, BUT AFTER A COUPLE BILLION MILLENNIA, IT GETS TIRESOME. AND THE HELP I HAVE DOWN HERE MAY AS WELL BE RIPPING OFF MY HEAD AND SHITTING DOWN MY THROAT FOR ALL THE GOOD THEY DO. BUT YOU! YOU DO THE MOST VILE, LECHEROUS, PERNICIOUS, EVIL WORK I'VE EVER SEEN! I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU FOR QUITE SOME TIME NOW AND EVEN I AM IMPRESSED. THE TIME YOU PRETENDED TO HELP THAT CONSTRUCTION WORKER BY GIVING HER THE WRONG TOOL THAT ENDED UP BRINGING DOWN THE WHOLE PROJECT ON AN ORPHANAGE?"

"Yes, well, I was actually trying to hel-"

"OR WHEN YOU FAKED GETTING YOUR NEPHEW A PROM DATE, AND THE SCORN AND DERISION HE FACED BECAUSE OF IT STARTED HIM ON THE PATH TOWARD BECOMING THE WARLORD HE IS TODAY, PROBABLY RESPONSIBLE FOR AT LEAST THREE AND A HALF MILLION DEATHS? WHEN MY INFERIOR TOLD ME THAT, I LAUGHED SO HARD THAT MY PURE JOY ACTUALLY RENT THE FLESH OF ALL OF MY SERVANTS SO I HAD TO PURCHASE NEW ONES!"

"About that, what happened was-"

"IT'S BRILLIANT WORK! THE WAY YOU PRETEND TO HELP THEM OUT AND BE NICE ONLY TO STAB THEM IN THE BACK! I'VE NO IDEA HOW YOU KEEP UP THE FACADE SO WELL. IT'S JUST SADISTIC! LIKE THAT STUFF WITH JOB? OH MAN. PRICELESS. SO! HERE'S WHAT I PROPOSE: YOU KEEP DOING WHAT YOU DO AND I'M SURE YOU'LL KEEP MOVING UP. I'M GONNA START TRANSITIONING OUT OF THIS POSITION AND PROMOTE YOU. THE GOAL IS YOU'LL BE IN THIS SEAT BY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR! HOW DOES THAT SOUND?"

"To be honest, as a fallen angel, I feel it's my duty to at least try-"

"EXCELLENT!" the monster sang out in a voice that sounded like millions of people desperately begging for death after having a chainsaw shoved up their rectum, "I KNEW YOU'D LOVE IT. AND! AS A BONUS, I'M ASSIGNING TODD TO THE POSSESSION DEPARTMENT WITH A SPECIALTY IN SMALL GIRLS. HOW'S THAT SOUND?"

Lou shuddered. He knew his boss was evil, but fudge. The Possession Department was the most loathed place in all of Hell. Spending months or years preparing to enter a mortal was tedious, boring work. And until they made the link, they had to live like the mortals, following their boring lives, watching them do boring things like surf the internet or masturbate or drive. And then what? You make the link, terrorize a family for a few days, and then they hire an exorcist to banish you - or worse, destroy you permanently. And little girls? Ugh. Tea parties and dress up and dollies.

"I appreciate it Sir."

"GOOD" said Lou's boss with a rattle that sounded like the shrieks the entire Earth's ecosystem shoved into a blender made of lava and death, helpless as one by one entire species and histories go extinct with no more than a whir of blades and sizzle of fire, "NOW I'M OFF TO INFLICT  A RAPIST WITH EVERY WOUND HE EVER SUFFERED IN LIFE ALL AT ONCE." The thing smiled at him as it exited the office, and Lou feared for his immortal soul - or he would have if he had one. Without another word, it took off, leaving Lou sitting, not sure what to think of what just happened. He despised the idea of running the whole machine of the system that caused nothing but despair in the world. And he'd have to start going by Lucifer again. But that was manageable, he thought, because just maybe with all that power he could finally do some good. Not giving a guy his wallet good, but real, honest good.