on april 30th, 2023, i was lying on a mattress in the basement, scrolling on tiktok and trying to ignore the cramping in my fingers from my senior year ib tests. my bedroom had mold in it that had made me horribly sick, so i couldnt even hide in there like i usually would have done. i was graduating and turning 18 in less than a month and it still felt too far away. i didnt know how the hell i was going to make it through those last awful weeks.

a tiktok came up showing a compilation of moments from a game. this game. it seemed funny, but i didnt pay it any mind. until i kept seeing them. ridiculously bad wanted posters. it was the new hoyoverse game, apparently, a turn-based space fantasy. id quit genshin months ago, finding it overwhelming, but i could do turn-based. and i was bored. so i downloaded it, just to try.

honkai star rail gave me the joy and relief to get through the last bit of high school. i fell in love with the characters, the setting, the gameplay. instead of crashing into my makeshift bed for a nap that left me even more disoriented, i played this silly little game and felt alive again.

in may of 2024, near the end of my freshman year of college, i became starkly aware of how much i didnt know how to make friends. i felt like i was failing the college social life criteria. i wasnt lonely, but i should have been. then i played 2.2 and heard hope is the thing with the feathers and tried not to cry too loudly to wake my roomate, and i felt like a person. i felt love for this game and i felt love from this game and i felt human. like maybe it was okay if i wasnt normal. i felt whole.

i cried again when the second anniversary came around. i realized that while i always had intense interests, it was rare they lasted this long. it was rare they felt this good. the only thing comparable to me was undertale. i watched that animation over and over again and thought about family and love and space and humanity.

First off, thank you! And secondly, I WILL be drawing them, but I have a very big art project to finish first, plus the next Mortalis page (it's getting pretty late in the month so I really have to get on that).

also this is kinda my au so. yayy

Of course, you then begin to recognize that Source is all-that-is. Therefore, it stands to reason that you are everything. You cannot really define yourself as just one type of starseed or one type of being. You are everything all at once, just as everyone else is. What that means is you then get to decide who you want to be. You don’t have to only be defined by limiting characteristics, or traits, or aspects. You could say, ‘I am a man,’ and you could also say, ‘I am a husband, a father, a lawyer, a brother, a son, an uncle, and a nephew.’ There are many aspects of what it means to be a male human being. You can define yourselves by limiting terms and definitions, but certainly, at some point, you must realize that it doesn’t serve you to do so.

You also get to choose which aspect of who you are you emphasize in any given moment. You get to choose from all-that-is what you decide to be within all-that-is. And then you get to decide whether you like it or not. You could decide to try on many different hats, in terms of a career, and jump around from profession to profession, and that’s okay. You will have experiences and learn things by doing all of the different jobs you will do. You can be a jack-of-all-trades and a master of none if that’s what you choose to do, and be, and experience.

What we want you to know is that any limitations you place on yourselves are self-imposed, but you are meant to go through your lives deciding what it is you like doing and being, and choosing to do and be those things more often.

You are not just a victim of your genetics, and your upbringing, and your societal norms. You can choose to break free from all of that. You are not meant to live out a blueprint that you don’t enjoy living out. You have freedom.

You get to explore what you want to explore and do it how you want to do it, and you get to decide in each and every moment, and none of your decisions have to be binding for a certain amount of time.

Exercise those freedoms. Be who you want to be. Do what you want to do. Feel what you want to feel, and explore what you want to explore. Your definitions can be quite limiting, and your awakening can be quite liberating, if you allow it to be, and if you allow yourselves to make choices that are based on your feelings, your inclinations, your desires of the moment.

Throw out any and all ideas of who you are supposed to be and what you are supposed to do so that you can tune in more to the infinite possibilities that are truly available to you and everyone else, and give everyone else the same freedom to make choices for themselves.

Do your best not to pigeonhole anyone else and tell them what they have to be because of their age, or ethnicity, or gender, or any other limiting characteristic of a person.

Remembering who you really are is the most important aspect of your life, because it is you going home to who you really are as a Source Energy Being, and that’s what we are all doing, no matter what we think we are doing in these experiences that we are having. Allow yourself to roam around and be free and to explore all aspects of life so that you can make more informed choices about who you want to be from moment to moment, and you will live a life of joy, freedom, creativity, love, peace, and abundance.

We are The Creators. We are 12th-dimensional collective of nonphysical beings and we love you very much.”

#あかべこ もがんばった #TheCreators 。

翌日にマラソンボランティア、中2日作業、昨日タイヤ交換、本日事務作業。

ようやくいただいた名刺宛に📧やらDMを送り終えました^^

仕事や仲間てのは人との繋がりだしね。

この先、活きた繋がりになるのか？と名刺を見ながら #みさご珈琲 さんで作った珈琲を飲む。

▼コーヒー販売中です☆▼

一昨日の #TheCreators 昨日の #小江戸マラソン ボランティアほぼシームレスで人間もさすがにガス欠に…

#あかべこ も良く頑張ってくれました^^