Snrk. You're acting like it's my first time loving a "villain".
I've loved a warrior whose head was full of voices, screaming for bloodshed. He ravaged cities, he murdered, he betrayed and was betrayed. The Blood God, they called him. And yet there was an endless amount of universes where his violence was directed instead towards protecting the ones he cared for. Endless universes where violence didn't define him, his care, his humour, his passion did.
I've loved an actor who has been taken advantage of since its childhood, who grew up spiteful, afraid, knowing that it's either kill or be killed, that showing mercy is a fool's game. Somebody who massacred hundreds of people, his friends and family included. And yet, that wasn't the end of its story. It got another chance, and it took it. It has a family now, friends, a life. That does not erase its actions. But there is hardly any value in death when one's life can still bring joy and connection.
I've loved people who destroyed their universes before, too. Not one. You're hardly unique, and you're hardly as unlovable as you believe yourself to be. Just because you hate yourself it doesn't mean that everyone else does, too.
-๐
Your desire to love those who harm others is intriguing. Do you think that by doing this, you are compensating for the harm you have inevitably caused? That it may be more of a selfish act, to convince yourself of the idea that you may have someone like you choose to see the flaws in your being and want you around despite it?
Choosing to forgive the harm we have done to people who you have not met, nor even know the names of is a selfish act. You are giving forgiveness you have stolen from the dead, to those who have murdered cruelly.
And in their eternal rest, what would they think of you for forgiving the hands that put them to slaughter? If they could think, hypothetically speaking, of course.
