We raised more than $3700 for the Trevor Project. But what was it all for?
When the Season 4 finale of “The Magicians” aired, a lot of people felt angry and hurt. I wasn’t one of them, but I saw it all over my feed, and I felt it as Dani and I tried to figure out how in the hell we could talk about what the finale meant to us without adding to the pain. One thing that gave me hope amid all that chaos and turmoil was ThankQ, a campaign created by two fans — Raven and Larissa — to raise money for the Trevor Project in honor of Quentin.
In the first book, Dean Fogg tells the Brakebills graduating class that includes Quentin, Alice, Eliot, Janet (aka Margo), and Josh that he thinks magic comes from pain. Out of context, it’s easy to mistake the meaning of that pithy little phrase — to think that what he’s saying is that you have to experience trauma to practice magic. But that’s not what he’s saying, not at all.
“I have a little theory that I'd like to air here, if I may. What is it that you think makes you magicians?" More silence. Fogg was well into rhetorical-question territory now anyway. He spoke more softly. “Is it because you are intelligent? Is it because you are brave and good? Is is because you're special?
Maybe. Who knows. But I'll tell you something: I think you're magicians because you're unhappy. A magician is strong because he feels pain. He feels the difference between what the world is and what he would make of it. Or what did you think that stuff in your chest was? A magician is strong because he hurts more than others. His wound is his strength.
Most people carry that pain around inside them their whole lives, until they kill the pain by other means, or until it kills them. But you, my friends, you found another way: a way to use the pain. To burn it as fuel, for light and warmth. You have learned to break the world that has tried to break you.”
To be a magician is to find something to do with your pain — to use it to effect change, to make the world a measurably better place. And magic is the same. You take the world as it is and transform it. When I saw ThankQ, I thought about what Dean Fogg says in the first book. Raven and Larissa took their pain and turned it into something good. Not only that, they gave other fans an outlet to do that kind of magic themselves.
The campaign raised $6,602 after the finale, most of it in the first few weeks.
The fundraiser lost momentum, as often happens in cases like these, but there was still a lot of hurt and anger in the fandom. I’ve been thinking for months about what, if anything, I could do to help. So when Lev posted about THE MAGICIAN’S: ALICE’S STORY, I reached out to him and asked if he’d be willing to donate a few copies and sign them as part of a fundraiser. He said yes. And then I approached ThankQ to ask if they would be willing to partner with us.
We talked about what the campaign might look like, and how we might use it as a way to help people come together and heal, and we settled on the idea of reaching out for support when you need it. And we got more prizes! Larissa and Raven reached out to fan merchandisers to see if they would donate, and many said yes. Olivia and Lilah said they’d sign the books, too, and Roland Chambers offered to send one of his coveted, limited-edition signed maps from the novels. And then, we got the keys — the actual keys from Season 3.
As proud as I am of everything we’ve accomplished together — and I am quite proud of it — I’m even prouder of all of you. So many of you have shared your stories, including those of you who thought opening up would be impossible for you. In doing so, you have inspired other people to share and reach out and form new connections. To quote one fan, Loria, “I'm not magically cured. I'm not suddenly riding a rainbow out of depression lake. But I'm also not alone, and that's powerful.”
And I’m grateful for the friends I’ve made along the way. I barely knew Larissa and Raven before this started, and they had no real reason to trust me. But they took a chance on me, and because of that, I have 2 new friends.
The raffle is over now, but I hope you’ll keep sharing your stories and tagging them #MagiciansReachOut. And keep donating to ThankQ. LGBTQ+ teens and youth need these services all the time, and it’s up to us to help organizations like the Trevor Project keep the lights on. If you have the money, I challenge you to go to https://give.thetrevorproject.org/ThankQ right now and set up a small, recurring donation. Even $5/month can make a huge difference.
Life is full of pain, but we don’t have to give in to it. We can break the world that has tried to break us.
I am proud of you, my loves. Keep going.
