Integrating & Healing Our Subpersonalities

If you have been doing any type of spiritual work, surely you've heard advice on "healing your inner child". But did you know that we have more than just an Inner Child consciousness? There are four subpersonalities that I will describe, and I'll explain how to integrate and heal these archetypes to achieve holistic balance and harmony for yourself and your life.

Inner Nurturer: represented by the Earth element and the physical body

Inner Child: represented by the Water element and the emotional body

Inner Warrior: represented by the Air element and the mental body

Inner Spirit: represented by the Fire element and the astral/light body

Each subpersonality has a balanced and imbalanced expression. The goal in addressing our subpersonalities is to balance them through awareness, understanding, communication and action. You must first meet your subpersonalities, or become "aware" of them, and find out what their needs and wants are. A good way to begin this process is to simply do a meditation in which you "meet" each subpersonality. Ask each one what their names are, see an image of them, what do they look like? Are they in good health? Do they seem lively and vibrant, or dull?

Ask each subpersonality questions upon meeting them, such as, "What will make you feel fulfilled? What do you need? What is stifling you?". Your job is to listen to what each subpersonality has to say; some of them may be aggressive if they've been neglected for a long period of time, and still others may be quiet and hard to hear if they've often been ignored. This is the understanding and communication job of balancing each subpersonality.

In taking action, you simply make adjustments according to the needs of each subpersonality. If your Inner Child tells you, for example, that it would feel fulfilled by being given the opportunity to experience its emotions, it's in your best interest to honor its needs. When you ask each aspect of Inner Self what you can do to come into better balance and wholeness, you will get the most honest and simple answers. They have your best interest in mind, so to speak.

Meeting Your Inner Nurturer

The Inner Nurturer is represented by the Earth element and the physical body. It's associated with your connection to your physical mother and the Goddess (think Divine Feminine), grounding, and security. This subpersonality identifies and takes care of your needs. Signs of imbalance with your Inner Nurturer are feeling needy of attention (due to lack of attention to Self), lack of energy, being too demanding/bossy, or being overly critical. An imbalanced Inner Nurturer is similar to the "nagging mom/overprotective father" narrative we all know.

Maybe you need to spend less time working, and invest more intimate time with yourself or your loved ones. Maybe you haven't been nurturing your body properly, and your Inner Nurturer is asking you to exercise or eat a little better. Take time to listen to the needs of your Inner Nurturer, and take responsibility, without guilt, for any pain that it may express to you. If you have not been paying attention to your own needs, it may be angry or feel betrayed, but remember that it's your job to sincerely listen to what he or she has to say.

The following steps describe a meditative method in which to meet your Nurturer. Write down your questions prior to the meditation with spaces to record your answers.

1. Find a spot in nature where you feel connected to the Earth element, or a comfortable seat indoors. Ground and center yourself. Focus your breathing.

2. Send gratitude to the Earth (in your own way). This is a time to invoke any deities, angels, guides, etc.

3. Ask your Inner Nurturer to show itself to you so that you may communicate with him or her.

4. When an image or voice comes into focus, refer to your questions and write down the answers.

What is your name?

How are you?

What do you need?

What do you want?

Is there anything else you'd like to share with me at this time?

5. Express gratitude to your Nurturer for meeting. Close the meditation in your own way.

Meeting Your Inner Child

The Inner Child is represented by the Water element and the emotional body. It's associated with dreams, feelings, your shadow, and your subconscious. This subpersonality expresses emotional spontaneity, curiosity, and freedom. An imbalanced Inner Child is agitated, restless, frustrated, bored, apathetic, uninspired, or throws emotional tantrums (either by blowing up or shutting down). The most common issue with the Child is that it needs more freedom of expression. Do you hide your true feelings because you think it would be immature to express them? Do you let yourself cry? Are you allowing joyful playtime in your life? Or do you overindulge in food, alcohol, or other vices when feeling uncomfortable emotions? Addiction is closely associated with a repressed or controlled Inner Child.

Be ready for emotional and verbal expression when going into the meditation to meet your Inner Child. You may experience strong feelings and it may be overwhelming, but it is important to allow these emotions to flow without getting caught up in them. Your Inner Child just wants the freedom and permission from you to FEEL the emotions it experiences, so don't hold back. If you have been ignoring your Inner Child it may be distrusting of you, so be very honest and compassionate so that he or she will be open to you. It needs your support.

To meet your Inner Child, follow the same instructions listed in the Inner Nurturer meditation... except instead of finding a place in which you feel connected to the Earth, find a place near or around natural water. Send gratitude to the Water element. You can use the same questions from the Nurturer meditation as well.

Meeting Your Inner Warrior

The Inner Warrior is represented by the Air element and the mental body. It's associated with learning, teaching, clarity, responsibility, organization, purpose and linear accomplishment (think Divine Masculine). This subpersonality is responsible for paying your bills, keeping your house clean, labor, dealing with confrontation, protection, and stands up for you when needed. It also keeps your Inner Child feeling safe and secure. An imbalanced Inner Warrior is a workaholic, overbearing/controlling, or confused, lazy, and prone to procrastination. Are you working too much and neglecting your spiritual or emotional needs? Are you controlling your significant other or children?

Since the Warrior is associated with the mind, try to maintain a logical state of mind to interpret the needs he or she expresses to you. There may be some overlapping needs between the subpersonalities, for example, your Inner Warrior may say that it requires a more organized schedule to feel less overwhelmed with your workload. If your Inner Nurturer has been neglected, you may not feel that you have enough energy to create a schedule for your Warrior to adjust to. Each subpersonality depends on the others, so it may be necessary to do these meditations in a close time frame to ensure balanced integration and healing.

Follow the previously described meditation technique to meet your Inner Warrior. Find a place outdoors with large open spaces to invite the Air element to surround you during the meditation, and express gratitude when you're done.

Meeting Your Inner Spirit

The Inner Spirit is represented by the Fire element and the astral/light body. It's associated with inspiration, creativity, spiritual beliefs/practices, enlightenment, ascension, magic, dance, music, sexuality, and connection to Source/God/All That Is. This subpersonality is fueled by meditation, prayer, rituals, ceremonies and the like. An imbalanced Inner Spirit feels hopeless, defeated, disconnected, or uninspired. Do you practice intentional awareness? Do you spend time in communion with nature and God/Goddess? Do you use your sexual energy for productive purposes, or to give in to lustful sensations? Do you allow true intimacy in your life and relationships? Do you listen to your intuition and gut feelings or doubt the messages and signs you get?

The meditation to meet your Inner Spirit can follow the instructions given previously. For this meditation, you can find a place anywhere you feel connected and will not be disturbed.

After the initial meeting with all of your subpersonalities, you will want to check in with them again on a consistent basis to maintain balance and harmony between them. Periodically ask them what they need and want to keep yourself and your life healthy and peaceful.

I think one of our biggest goals is to maintain overall health of mind, body and spirit. We cannot focus on our larger, soul-level goals and fulfill our soul's purpose if we are out of balance in one (or all) of these aspects. Real, effective soul work can be uncomfortable, it can hurt, but it's ultimately rewarding in ways that not only benefit you, but help with the ascension of the collective.