#tgia commentary

“Once upon a time,” Jaskier begins, bringing his hand up to card softly through Ciri’s hair, “There was a little songbird who lived in the forest. He was a happy little bird, with everything that a bird needs in the world to be content.”

“Like worms!” Ciri pipes up, looking pleased with herself.

“Lots of worms,” Jaskier confirms, ruffling her hair briefly, “So many worms. And then, one day, a wolf arrived in the forest.”

“Oh no,” Ciri whispers, because wolves are the villain of many a children’s bedtime story.

“The wolf was white as snow, and the songbird thought that he was beautiful. Perhaps the most beautiful creature the songbird had ever seen.”

Ciri hums thoughtfully, and Jaskier can feel it against his chest. “Wolves are scary.”

“The songbird didn’t think so.” Jaskier says consideringly, “In fact, the songbird followed after the wolf, because songbirds are silly little things who love beauty. They like to sing about it, you know? To sing about all of the most beautiful things.”

“Did the wolf eat him?” Ciri asks.

“You would think so! But no.” Jaskier shakes his head, “The little songbird started to sing about the wolf, about his beautiful pelt and his glittering teeth and his eyes like molten gold. Everyone else in the forest avoided the wolf, but the songbird was not frightened in the least, for he saw what others did not.”

“Like what?”

“The wolf defended the forest, scaring all the scary hunters away. He did it, even though it was a thankless task. Even though it didn’t stop anyone in the forest from being afraid of him. He was a wolf, after all, and they are frightening creatures.”

“So he’s a nice wolf.” Ciri says decisively, and Jaskier laughs. His laughter makes Ciri bounce a little on his chest, making her giggle as well.

“Yes. And the little songbird wanted everyone to know, and so he sang about all of the wolf’s kind deeds. Until one day, when the little bird was resting, he heard a voice call out from the bottom of his tree.

‘Little bird,’ said the wolf, when he was certain he had the songbird’s attention, ‘Why do you follow me?’

‘Because I think you are beautiful.’ The little songbird said honestly.

‘I am not beautiful.’ The wolf denied, ‘I am frightening.’

‘Maybe so,’ The songbird replied, ‘But that does not make you any less beautiful.’

The wolf was confused, and so he went away, and the little bird continued singing his song.”

“The wolf needs a hug.” Ciri declares loudly, and Jaskier contains his snort. Out of the mouths of babes indeed. Jaskier had almost the same thought when he’d met Geralt all those years ago in Posada.

“The next day,” Jaskier continues the story instead of replying, “The wolf heard the songbird singing of him again. And so he went up to the little songbird’s tree.

‘Little bird,’ said the wolf, when he was certain he had the songbird’s attention, ‘Why do you sing of me?’

‘Because I love you.’ The little songbird said honestly.

‘You do not love me,’ The wolf denied, ‘You do not know me.’

‘I know that you protect us, without a thought of thanks.’ The songbird replied, ‘I know that you are kind, even when the world is cruel. It makes you beautiful.’

The wolf was confused, and so he went away, and the little bird continued singing his song.”

Jaskier pauses, waiting for Ciri to interrupt again, but the little girl remains silent. He only knows she’s still awake by the way her fingers continue to trace the pattern of his doublet.

“A week later, the wolf found himself back at the base of the songbird’s tree.” Jaskier continues to tease his fingers through Ciri’s hair, wondering if she’ll let him braid it when the story is over.

“‘Little bird,’ said the wolf, when he was certain he had the songbird’s attention, ‘Why do you love me?’

‘Because you need to ask.’ The little songbird said honestly.

‘You do not love me.’ The wolf denied, ‘You only think you do.’

‘Is thinking so different from being?’ The little songbird asked, ‘You are alone. The only wolf in the forest. But I love you, so you can be less alone.’

‘I am a wolf.’ The wolf pointed out, ‘And you are a songbird. This cannot be love. You must stop singing.’

‘I am a songbird,’ The songbird agreed, ‘And you are a wolf. And this is love.’

‘When you realize it is not, you must stop singing.’ The wolf requested.

‘Very well,’ The little songbird agreed, ‘If I ever do not love you, then I will stop singing.’

---

“You are a strange creature, Jaskier.” 

The word creature hangs heavy in the air between them, and Jaskier tilts his head. If he listens, he can hear a noise like scales sliding against one another, a whispering accompaniment to the echoing drumbeat. “As are you, Borch.”

The older man’s eyes flash, and he tilts his head in polite interest. “Oh?”

“I have traveled the world, from kingdom to kingdom. I have faced monsters and men of all kinds, have seen miracles and curses and everything in between.” Jaskier pauses, staring directly into Borch’s eyes. He swears, for a second, they flash gold. “But I have never met someone like you.”

“Because of my philosophy - ?” Borch starts, but Jaskier cuts him off.

“I don’t know what you are.” Jaskier says firmly, quietly, and he has all of Borch’s scattered attention focused on him like a laserbeam. It’s almost uncomfortable, under those eyes, like a rabbit standing before a wolf. 

But Jaskier has spent many years traveling at the side of a predator. Too long to be scared of the one in front of him, no matter how stupid that might make him.

“You found Geralt and you asked him on this hunt. He came, not because of your dragon but because he saw someone he loved going into something stupid and decided that if they were going to do so, he might as well come along to soften the blow.” Jaskier informs the man simply. Though even he could tell Geralt that Yennefer did not need help, and that she was fully capable of getting herself out of (and into) trouble at her own pace. “He’s not a soldier for hire. He’s a protector.”

Borch is silent, still watching Jaskier carefully as though if he moved Jaskier would startle off. Fat chance of that, Jaskier was too stubborn for his own good.

“He’s a protector.” Jaskier says again, firmly, “But when it comes to watching his own back?”

There are words trapped behind Jaskier’s teeth, gritted back like sand in his molars. A fight song, a warning song, a battle cry. 

“He has a trigger happy witch on his side. And he has me.”

“I see no weapons here.” Borch says quietly, an echo to what was said to him when they had first met. Before a man had died with a snapped neck right in front of Jaskier’s eyes.

“Weapons can be more than steel, Borch Three Jackdaws. As well you know.” Jaskier replies, and then very purposefully places his hand against the body of his lute and taps with his fingers, matching the drumbeat of Borch’s magic.

Immediately, the man’s - if he is a man - magic responds, surging forward with the same whisper of scale against scale as it taps against Jaskier’s skin in pleased acknowledgement. On his part, Borch starts as though he’s been given a static shock, leaning back and widening his eyes in surprise.

Honestly? They might have slept together at some point when Geralt and Yennefer were on the outs. They’re both very attractive individuals, danger and almost dying clearly gets Yennefer fired up, and Renfri has been known to make questionable sexual choices when it comes to Very Dangerous Individuals. So their relationship probably does include some flirting, some pushing of boundaries, some erotic subtext where Renfri has at least once put her sword under Yennefer’s chin and tilted it up

But when it comes to an actual relationship, Renfri at least is smart enough to put her foot down. They’re fine as rivals-friends-frenemies, but Renfri has some serious trust issues. Especially with mages. Especially with brotherhood mages. Yennefer knows Stregobor. She might not like him, but they belong to the same order. 

And then there’s the big thing between them: Yennefer wants kids. She wants, desperately, to be a mother. This is tied into her whole desperation for unconditional love thing she has going on. Renfri? Does not want kids. Absolutely against them. If she somehow gave birth tomorrow, that kid would be either adopted out or in Jaskier’s care quicker than you could say “curse of the black sun”. It’s not even that Renfri doesn’t like kids. She’d be a great weird-aunt-who-gives-an-8-year-old-a-real-sword-as-a-present. But Renfri does not want to be responsible for a child’s life and health and safety.

There are other little things. I love comparing and contrasting Renfri and Yennefer in tgia honestly because it’s so much fun? Yennefer was born a peasant and clings desperately to the power and prestige her magic affords her. Renfri was born a princess and cast it aside with pride so that she could be as unladylike as she pleased. Both of them knowing that power means sacrifice. It’s a gilded cage to be sure, but it’s still a cage. Yennefer was willing to make the sacrifices and change herself to gain power while Renfri ran. Granted, Renfri ran for many reasons but let’s be real, tgia!Renfri wouldn’t have stuck around to be married off and shuffled away to a quiet corner of the kingdom, out of sight out of mind. 

Renfri was a princess, but her father was a King with male heirs. No matter what parallels I draw, her situation was vastly different from Princess Pavetta, sole heir of Queen Calanthe. And even then, even then with circumstances giving her great importance and a parent in power who should have been sympathetic to her plight, Pavetta was still a pawn on a board who was expected to marry a man she did not love for a political match and then become a background trophy. But even so, Pavetta would always have been Queen and the keeper of her bloodline, and so retained at least some power. Until she produced an heir of course, after which she would have become... less important to keep alive.

Renfri on the other hand? After Jaskier’s birth, she’s a spare. Jaskier is the male heir, and so he got to leapfrog over Renfri in the inheritance. Renfri is officially a bargaining chip, one that doesn’t even have to be compromised with because she is not going to be running the country. As best she could maybe hope to strike a political match with a prince and become a queen of somewhere not her homeland, with little power and easily replaceable. But Stregobor claimed Renfri had internal mutations, ones that might make her sterile, and so as a bride she would be... undesirable to say the least, except perhaps as a bride to a widower who already had heirs to follow him and needed no more. Perhaps to a second son who needed a bride but whose family tree needed no new branches. Which means she would likely be married off to a man, possibly very much her senior, probably not a King but perhaps a Lord (or lord’s son) currently in the king’s favor. This choice would have been made for her, and she would have been expected to accept her new position with grace.

Yennefer’s father sold her away as well. Yennefer’s father struck a financial deal. Renfri’s father’s deal would have been political in nature, likely. Yennefer was bargained away to the brotherhood, Renfri would have been bargained away to a man. 

(me, loudly: what about the implications of a mage organization comprised of all genders being called the brotherhood.)

Renfri and Yennefer each have. A lot of issues. A lot of these issues would make then incompatible for a longterm relationship. Renfri needs someone she can feel safe with, and that someone is never going to be a brotherhood mage, even if it could even be a mage at all. Yennefer needs someone who loves her unconditionally, who places her first, always. She needs to be someone’s first priority. That doesn’t necessarily have to be a romantic relationship mind you, but either way that person can’t be Renfri. For Renfri, her first priority is Jaskier. Always. Just like Jaskier’s first priority will always be Renfri. 

(He loves Geralt, he does, but if Geralt was his first priority then he would have told him about his sister long ago. Geralt is important to him, and he would move heaven and earth for the Witcher, but his sister is the only family he dares to claim and he defeated death itself in her name.)

Yennefer and Renfri both have serious control issues as well. Yennefer has literally mind controlled Geralt before, has manipulated him, and keeps him on his toes. She has this need to be in control, and for the most part Geralt is fine with following where she leads, and that makes her feel safe with Geralt. Up to and until she finds out that Geralt’s wish might be the reason why she loves him, and then all of a sudden it isn’t her in control, it’s some untamable uncontrollable magic, and she absolutely flips her lid. She’s furious! She feels betrayed! All this time she thought she was in control, but then she finds out that Geralt tied their fates together or whatever. 

(Thankfully, this isn’t an issue in tgia, but Yennefer also doesn’t exactly love Geralt in tgia so much as she loves being loved. Their major conflict in tgia is probably going to be about children, honestly, because Geralt sure as fuck doesn’t want any.) 

Renfri? Also would very much need to be in control of a relation. Maybe especially the sexual aspects of it considering her trauma involving that. She’s pretty, and that hasn’t done her any favors. She bristles under restrictions and has broken the door of every cage people have tried to shove her into, including death though she had a little bit of help from Jaskier breaking out of that one. She’s protective, and secretive, and has trust issues a mile wide. She never even tells people her name. Every piece of personal information is carefully controlled. And who can blame her for her trust issues a mile wide? She was assaulted when she was fifteen. At least one man she willingly lay with literally murdered her the morning after (thanks Geralt). Renfri has issues with intimacy.

So yes, while I love throwing them in scenes together and I love their snarky terrible friendship where Yennefer proposes they do something terribly dangerous and Renfri is like “...i mean i GUESS i’ll go.” unless she has a prior commitment OR it conflicts with her primary motivation of protecting Jaskier (getting too close to Geralt threatens this purpose), they won’t be getting together in the scope of the fic

which i hope people won’t be too disappointed by oof

sorry for writing you a whole essay about Renfri and Yennefer when you probably did not want it lmao, as you can see this has been pressing on my mind and tumbled about more than a little bit. 

(honestly though if Pavetta hadn’t been married to Duny and hopelessly in love with him, I might have shipped her and Renfri tbh. They had plenty in common, Pavetta had magic and would have been powerful enough to defend herself but wasn’t a brotherhood mage, they got along well and had inside jokes, the only thing standing in the way of that ship (besides Duny and. you know. the whole death thing) is that Renfri wouldn’t be too keen on becoming a queen/having to deal with shithead nobles again and the whole issue of Stregobor. But Renfri is a princess of a royal bloodline, was raised to be royalty with knowledge of court customs, and is a trained and blooded warrior. Let’s be real, Calanthe would have loved Renfri as a daughter-in-law. Renfri is exactly the ruthless sort of heir Calanthe would adore. There would be the issue of an heir of course, but as long as Pavetta was the one pregnant it wouldn’t be a big deal because Pav’s the one with the important bloodline to carry on.)

ANYWAY you have been very patient with me so here is a tiny Yennefer and Renfri snippet from the next chapter - 

As soon as they’re alone, Renfri turns to Yennefer. “I’m going to kill you for this. One day. Sleep with one eye open, Witch.”

“Come now,” Yennefer teases, “It can’t have been that bad.”

“I genuinely can’t tell if he’s criminally stupid or just ignoring the obvious.” Renfri hisses, “I’m carrying a sword. What kind of handmaiden beheads a bandit?”

“A very loyal one.” Yennefer offers, but she’s trying way too hard to keep a straight face and Renfri can see the smile she’s doing her damnest to contain. 

“You’re lucky I didn’t kill him in his sleep the fourth time he started extolling your virtues for taking an ‘unpolished peasant’ under your wing.” 

That makes Yennefer break face and give a most unladylike snort that she covers with one dainty hand. “You know,” She says, laughter still in her voice, “I wouldn’t need him if you just agreed to go with me.”

“If this is you trying to annoy me into going on an adventure with you, the answer is no.” Renfri immediately states. “Need I mention the last time you talked me into going monster hunting for you? There was a fucking manticore nest, Yennefer.”

“You enjoyed yourself, admit it.” Yennefer smiles with a flip of her hair.