#tf2 mvm

nr 9. pyro

pyro is the one merc in general i wouldnt fuck. he ( i he/him pyro, some people she/her pyro, others they/them pyro, all valid to me. hes a Silly Lil Guy™️imo)

hes just very befriendable to me and supa dupa cute

my guy fr I LOVE U PYRO.

also the bot looks like hes wearing diapers to me so not my thing

nr 8. engineer

after pyro its suuuper fucking hard to decide cuz literally all the other mercs are hot to me

not quite sure why i picked him, maybe cuz he stuck out from the others due to his face structure and his yellow accents)?

hes still cute but he ended up as my 8th somehow

again id plow em all so this doesnt mean i wouldnt ´!!!!!!

nr 7. heavy

hes the merc im usually least interested in sexually. not to say hes not hot as fuck

a literal russian bear of course hes sexy

hes lovely but hasnt had me foaming at the mouth

still a great choice as they all are

nr 6. spy

he usually scores higher for me, but his robot form isnt quiiiite it imo

my strongest association with him is mann vs machine spies messing up the red teams efforts so maybe thats part of it?

nr 5. Demo man

do NOT. DO NOT. get me wrong im such a demo fucker

again all choices past pyros are incredibly hard for me

his canon human form only has one eye and wears an eyepatch, the one robot eye is a nice touch but so far off from his usual grins/smiles im used to. actually i NEED to show the not-knowers an actual pic in comparison

i love demo hhnghhh

nr 4. soldier

picking between him n demo was hard

fucking love the underbite and helm covering half of his face, both of those are biiig perks for me lol

delicious delicious delicious man and inching closer to the top than the others for a good reason

such a silly guy

nr 3. 

just LOOK at his fucking legs oh my gooood

yk how i said i love sollys underbite? well i fucking love scouts overbite too!!!!!

fuck i love scout

also me btw if u even care

literally me

cosplayed him and ill do it again

nr. 2 medic

you know how undecided i am on this shit when medic is place two

hes lovely

everytime i see one of em in mvm i get all riled up

i love his one wheel it gets me going

but again, like with demo, SOOOO much of his character is tied to his expressions imo, so heres another example of his human counterpart to drive that point home

nr 1. sniper

despite him being place one i still have stuff to say dont get me wrong

he looks very deadpan as to be expected from a robot so it still just doesnt come close to his human counterparts face

his robo model has the same slouch, the design has his pointy shoes and flared pants

i fucking love it sm

somehow he ended up as my nr 1

one last time ill put a pic of his usual form as comparison

id fuck him so stupid hed be scared of me

tldr: except for pyro im horny for all of them

this ranking was very hard and occured in a tipsy, spontaneous state of mind