#ten weeks

I asked him for peace, for things to be easier, lighter. He told me to stop.

He doesn’t talk to me anymore because I took an afternoon nap.

I keep struggling trying to find out what I did wrong all the time.

I love him, yes I do. But he is hurting me in so many levels. I just want peace.

I want someone to listen to me and listen him back. I want someone who doesn’t mock of my taste. I want someone who says things clearly.

I have the perfect guy in my hands and at the same time I feel lost. Kind of alone. Abandoned. Even when he’s by my side.

Wish things were different. I don’t want to understand everything. I’m aware I’m not in control of anything.

Me “Baby I love you. Baby? BABE.”

Him “What?”

Me “I love you.”

Him “I love you too.”

Me “I’m sorry I’m crazy please don’t leave me.”

Him “I’m not going to leave you.”

Me “am I still pretty?”

Oh man bro. Those ligament pains kicked in. My uterus is all like “What the fuck have you done to me? Why the hell am I so big?!”

I’m a little behind, ‘cause I’ve had so much going on with the chef-stuff but I have tonight and sunday to watch some. Then... ten weeks of HELL begins.

   I’m gonna have to get up at 5 am every morning and take out the horses, because at 7am I have to be at this fucking Hockey Arena where they have a restaurant. I’m an intern there, so.. there’s gonna be a lot of work to do. EARLY FUCKING MORNINGS.. I might actually die    I’m not a morning person