#ten steps

Marit Larsen - Ten Steps lyric

Characters: Baekhyun x You Genre: Angst, Romance

The first and the last - we always remember those.  But what about everything in the middle?  All the smiles, and footprints, sand between our toes.  The heartbreaks, the accidents, the one who said “No”.  Or the dramatic tragedies sprung out of simple friends turned into foes.  When was the beginning?  When do I learn to let go?  

When will I learn to let go?  

Because truth is…the title of “First” became a race; a predetermined battle I couldn’t hold.  The title “First” belonged to another who stole your heart with her sweet nectarine smile, gentle taps of her fingertips along piano keys, and voice of an angel, inevitably reeling you in like a lion fallen for his prey.  

Lima Syndrome - the diagnosis given when the abductor develops sympathy and love for his hostage.  I watched as days passed and your eyes twinkle with confusion.  The once cold stonehearted Byun Baekhyun actually learned to smile.  Soft footprints trailed wherever you walked like dents casting deep within my heart.  And it hurt.  It hurt because I wanted to be the girl to unlock the chains guarding your heart.  

Abandoned children with worthless souls, we fed on scraps and crumbs forsaken in trash bins.  We were taken in by our master; trained as ruthless and emotionless spies for ten years.  For ten years.  120 months.  521 weeks.  3650 days.  We’ve known each other.  I bathed in your sweat during countless spars and witnessed your flesh succumb under the gash of steel.  I stood outside your recovery room as surgeons pieced you back together, bone by bone, after a bomb went off meters from you during a mission.  

And yet.  

Ten years couldn’t compare to those ten steps she took as she rushed toward you, withered and raged, with a knife in one hand and curses spurting out of her lips.  She pierced your heart but instead of blood, I saw the silver glimmer of a weapon turned into a key to your heart.  

“LET ME GO!  LET ME GO!” she screamed everyday as she banged against her cell.

“As soon as your father hands over the military documents, our Master will let you go,” you spoke with your expressions stoic.  But the single ripple in your feigned cold voice betrayed your human soul.  You think I wouldn’t know?

“Kill her,” Master had commanded when the military commander chose his country over his own daughter; thus, refused to comply with our bargain.  

A pistol sat against the side of her head but you rushed forward to intercept her fate.  The bullet missed your heart by a mere half inch.  And I don’t know why.  I don’t know when…ten steps.  Ten steps were all it took, as I rushed forward to back you up.  Ten years of loyalty for our organization ended as soon as I pulled the trigger against the man who “fathered” us when our blood parents left us out to deteriorate into rotted flesh.  

I must be crazy.  

I must be a fool.  

“Protect her,” you begged as I sewed your torn flesh back together.  Scarlet dyed gauze in a matter of minutes.  I carved out the bullet without the bat of an eyelash.  And yet my heart hurt.

Your bloody fingers grabbed hold of my hand and I froze in paralysis, silently contemplating on how it was the first time you held my hand.  Instead of the frigidness, I often felt during our spars, I felt the feverish heat.  Your forehead bathed in droplets of sweat and your onyx eyes stared up at me with puddles of emotions - so raw and rare.  My heart skipped a beat, having foolishly mistaken it to be for me.  “Bring her back to her family,” you almost beg.

And it hurts but I don’t make a sound.

With the strength of your elbow, you tried to prop yourself upright.

“Don’t,” I strictly warned.  “Don’t move a single inch or you’ll bleed to death,” I failed to hide my heartache as my eyes glazed over in water. My lips trembled as I finished the final stitch with a surgical constrictor knot.  Your blood caked along my fingertips and dried in my nails.

You called for my name.  

And it hurt.  

It hurt so, so much.

For the first time, we weren’t souls hidden in shadows and identified by numbers.    

And yet, as I followed your longing gaze to that of the shivering girl in the corner of the room, I knew.  I know you don’t love me.  I was a comrade - not your “First”.  Not your “Last”.  

“Bring her back before sunrise,” you requested.  I closed my eyes.

I wondered and pondered what made her so special to you?  What did you see in her that you couldn’t find in me?  Because I knew, you knew I loved you…and that I would do anything you asked.  I bled for you; died for you countless times.  My fingers graze along the five-inch scar running down my shoulder blade where I had once used my own body as your shield.  

Your soft fingers squeezed my wrist, leaving pink streaks similar to the imprints within my heart.  “Take her home.  It’s too dangerous.”

Too dangerous.  You and I both knew that our betrayal to the organization meant that sooner or later, we’d be hunted down…our flesh drenched in acid, bones snapped, and bodies vanished into ashes within fire.  Too dangerous…for her.  Because you want her safe.

My skin coated with a fresh layer of dew as your hold tightened for my attention.  

“As soon as you are well enough to move, we’ll all escape together,” I bargained.

But you shook your head in gloom.  “I’m fine.”

“You are not fine,” I corrected as I push you back to rest against the makeshift surgical table.  

Your eyelid twitched as you narrowed your eyes, scrutinizing my subdued expression.  I continued to clean around your wound without acknowledging your plead on the girl’s behalf.  

“Go,” you almost ordered.

I stayed quiet and professionally rolled the compression gauze around your torso.  Gnawing at your inner cheek, you clenched your fists and forcefully jotted up to a sitting position.

“Byun Baekhyun.  Lay back down!” I commanded with eyes glaring with fury.

Instead, you tossed your slim legs over and began to slip one arm through your bloodied shirt.

“I’ll bring her back by myself,” you concluded as you grind your teeth with impatience.  Rough movements tugged at your sutures and even the normally callous Byun Baekhyun couldn’t suppress a hiss.  

“Byun Baekhyun!  Do you want to die!?  I just stitched you up!” I called out as I held onto the balls of your shoulders.

“I don’t give a f*ck.  Once the sun rises, it’ll be impossible to take her home.”  You swung me away with so much strength that my frame crashed against the adjacent storage boxes of the hideout.  Needles, medicine bottles, and a glass petri dish fell to the floor.  Shattered remnants decorated the dusty marble.  I sat still in place as millions of thoughts clouded my weary mind.  

“Mm,” was the only thing I managed to mumble before I pushed myself up on my feet, b-lined straight to the girl, grabbed her up by her forearm, and exited the door…without once looking back to glance at you.  

It took two and a half days to cross the border.  Just ten more steps and my final mission would be complete. And yet, I discovered myself loading my revolver and pointing it directly at the center of the girl’s forehead.  

Why?  

If only you’d care for me like how you care for her…

My lips trembled and fingers shook with grief.

But she means the world to you, doesn’t she?

I dropped the gun down and, instead, pushed her forward to the gates of the army base mansion before fleeing back into the shadows of the forest.  

~

Another day passed and without the burden of the unarmed damsel, I arrived back at the hideout in half the time.  You were asleep, your chest, still wrapped in gauze pads, heaving up and down.  Your shirt half clung along your body.  I knelt down beside you and dusted your soft bangs away from your forehead.  

For the first time in the last few days, I felt a sense of calmness again.  I tossed my sweaty camouflage shirt over my head so that only a thin camisole clothed my drenched body.  I pressed my skin closer to yours, willing for our souls to mesh into one.  

“Why are you back?” your coarse voice asked.  Your lashes opened, tickling along my cheeks.  I just answered with a simple smile.  You repeated the question, this time, with my name.  “Why are you back?  You crossed the border to safety.  Why did you come back?”

Even if we have to die, I’ll choose death if it means I can be with you.

With the quiver of my lips, I brave a sad smile and stroke your jawline just as how I’ve always wanted but was never brave enough to do.

“Does she mean the world to you?” I, instead, ask a question that had been lingering in my mind.  A red laser point appeared along the wall.  Another flashed, for a brief moment, along your collarbone.  Automatically, I moved my body over to play the role of your armor.  

“You shouldn’t have returned!  They’re going to find this place soon,” you reprimanded as the first shot pierced through my back.  I bit my tongue and daren’t move.  My eyes continued to memorize the raw emotions racing through your handsome face…

Another bullet shot through my lung.  This time, I failed to quiet a hiss. I caught your eyes of utter shock as my body fell limp into your warm embrace.  So…so much emotions…for once, meant for me.  

You called my name…once…twice…Your arm wrapped tightly around me like never before…Everything was warm and sweet like how I’ve always imagined.  Swiftly, you bundled me up, rolling along the floor to avoid the endless rain of bullets.  Pipes dented, walls whittled with holes.  

Everything hurts…and yet…it doesn’t.  

We ended up crammed in a temporary shelter within a fridge at the back of the hideout.  Drips of my blood stained the icy floor and bled into crevices like branches of a haunted willow tree.  Puffs of steam appear in the air as I heaved but it’s not as cold as I imagined.  You called for me over and over again as you stuffed me deep within your protection.  As I weakly peeped my face out to take another greedy gander of your zealous face, I realized that I have fallen in love with even the beads of sweat lining your forehead, your matted hair, and even the imperfect blemishes along your skin.  

“I…I…” I tried to start as I lift my heavy arm up so I could brush off the speckles of dirt dusting your cheeks.  Immediately, you grabbed my hand and placed it against your face.  “I…I brought her…safe-safely…home.  I wa-watched her enter the man-mansion before leaving.”  A tear rushed down the corner of my eyes as I whispered, “I know how much she means to you…”

You placed your chin on top of my head as streams of emotions rush down your face.  

“I brought her home…” I continued to repeat over and over again, each time a little softer than the previous.  

My white cami dyed in an ocean of crimson.  

Lashes pressed against one another; eyelids swayed about.  With pearled dewdrops sprinkled underneath each eye, I gazed up at the faulty perspective of those eyes, that nose, those kissable lips…everything I grew to love…

How do I learn to let go?

“I love you…” I mouthed as pearls demolish into streams running down my wet cheeks.

My lips parted to repeat again the three words of my ultimate confession, only, to be intercepted by the warmth of your breath.  And I think I’m dreaming or under a spell; an illusion granted upon sinful souls right before they enter Hell.  Our kiss was short and sweet, but oh so filled with emotions.  I could feel every tremble and taste the saltiness of your tears.

“I kn-kn-now,” you choked as you held me so tightly against you I thought I would crumble into your soul.  Your lips pressed against my forehead.  A trace of mercury red transferred onto your fingertips as you tried with all your might to prolong the life of the dead.      

I know I wasn’t you “First”….but can I be your “Last”?      

Light reentered the cubicle as assassins kicked down the door.  One step.  Two step.  Three.  Four…FiveSixSevenEight…Nine…

Ten.

Instantly, you spun us both around. Bang!  Bang!  Shots fired and even though they didn’t physically wound me, it hurt more than ever as I helplessly watched you use your body to protect my broken one.

A/N: -dodges raining bullets- Why do my Baekhyun scenarios never have a happy ending? (っ- ‸ – ς) I’m so terrible.  Still, I hope you guys like this raw scenario!  More to come for the 30+ Days of Daily Scenario Update!!

If you didn’t know, I posted a scenario yesterday.  You can read here >>Doctor of Heart<<

Read this elegant piece of prose HERE

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