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The thing is that andrew killing tilda was the equivalent of a cat killing a mouse and dropping it at your feet, only the twins were raised as different creatures speaking different languages so instead of seeing it as the act of love and devotion it was aaron reacts with anger and disgust and fear and andrew reacts pretty much like a cat that has brought you a mouse and got kicked for his troubles aka cold resentment and faux indifference yk?
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I know Mari is the comedic relief so we're primed to see her actions as amusing but it broke my heart a little to see her trying to shove the guy's brain back into his head ngl. Sure, it can be interpreted as her being silly, but it can also be her going no no no we had a chance. These people showed up and for five seconds we had a chance of going home. And now this guy's brain is all over the dirt and our chances of being rescued may very well have died with him. So she kneels on the ground next to him and makes this stupid, futile attempt at fixing it, at undoing the past few seconds, at getting a do-over that ends with them all going home. In denial, in thoughtless hope.
Mari Ibarra they will never make me forget you're a scared teen girl like everyone else.
My favourite post-palmetto kandreil dynamic is: baffling. Confusing to everyone except themselves. Unlabeled and unlabable. Yes, they live together and when they move to a new apartment it's not even a question that they're moving in together. No, they don't all usually sleep in the same bed. Yes, sometimes they do. Yes, kevin has his own room. So does andrew, though. No, they won't elaborate. Dating kevin?? Don't be ridiculous. Friends with kevin?? Neil scoffs at the thought of anyone choosing to be friends with kevin. Fucking kevin?? Judgmental eyebrows raised all around, no answers provided.
It's actually so important to me that Andrew gives Neil the keys to the Columbia house before they get together and before Andrew ever thinks something could happen between them. As far as Andrew knows, Neil doesn't swing, and Andrew himself would never act on his attraction because Neil is dangerous, so the painfully meaningful, tender gesture of giving him his house keys is just... selfless. It's just "I want this scared rabbit to know he has a home to return to when he feels the urge to run", even if he doesn't return for or to Andrew, Andrew wants him to feel safe :')
Mary taught Neil to be fine.
A gash on her side from a close call: “I’m fine, Abram, just pass me the alcohol,” face set and ungiving.
His stomach revolting against a bad meal at an inconvenient time: “You're fine, Lucas, keep walking,” nails digging into his arm, dragging him down the crowded street.
Dark circles under her eyes after a shaky night: “I'm fine, Abram, practice your French,” sipping her coffee like he can't see her bloody cuticles.
And Neil has always been a fast learner. “I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine,” his litany walking away from a burning car, alone for the first time in his life.
“I'm fine,” to Coach Hernandez, to Coach Wymack, to the Foxes.
I’m fine through it all, until Andrew takes the words from him and refuses to give them back. Then Neil has to face the truth, and learn to bear it.
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I know this is not new information, but I've seen a fresh wave of people confused about what the fuck Andrew planned to do as a 5'0 man with a knife against the literal mafia, so.
I think the fact that neither Neil nor Kevin lost their faith in Andrew’s ability to protect them after he was attacked by Drake (unable to stand his ground against a single man with a bottle, let alone the Yakuza/Nathan with their guns) is the best proof we have that the deal was never about physical protection. This is confirmed by the way Neil never expects Andrew to save him from his father, in fact cuts him loose before Baltimore as soon as danger is truly near.
Andrew is a pretty self-aware character, and he wouldn't make promises he knows he can't possibly see through, so I think he knows what Kevin and Neil also know: what they need from him, and thus what he promises, is not physical protection.
To Kevin, he promises safety from the Moriyamas, and the way we see him enact that safety (at Kathy's show, at the banquet) shows exactly what it's about: when Riko starts getting into your head, when he makes you doubt yourself, makes you think maybe you should go back to Evermore, I won't let you. I will get you away from him, I will treat him like he's just some dude to remind you that you can face him without kneeling. I will be your spine until you find your own, I will stand my ground for you until you can do it yourself.
That's why the scene when Kevin gets to the dorm with his tattoo and Andrew's eyes show so much feeling is huge not just for Kevin but for Andrew: because that was the whole point of their deal, Kevin has found his spine, Andrew bought him the space and time to do it.
To Neil, he promises safety from the people hunting him down, and that means: I will give you something to build a life around (keys, drives to nightly exy practices, someone to lean on, someone who will listen without flinching). When you feel like running, I will be someone you can call to come pick you up. When you forget, I will remind you who you are: Neil Abram Josten.
Andrew stands between Kevin and Riko and between Neil and his father not as an impenetrable wall but as an obstacle in their vision: not shield but focal point.
(Makes me think of that scene in The Haunting of Hill House, Hugh holding Steven's neck to keep him from looking at the ghosts, saying, Look at me, just look at me, keep your eyes on me. That's what Andrew’s constantly doing --even literally, when Kevin is spiralling after Wymack tells the team about the district change and Andrew makes him look away from his broken hand and up at him).
Andrew's sexuality as something he dug out of the ashes of a sexual awakening burned by those who abused him and Nicky's faith as something he dug out of the ashes of a religion used against him to shame and ostracize him
Kandrew choking scene is so important to me... Not as a breaking point for their relationship but a natural progression of the dynamic they have where kevin is/feels completely out of control of his body from the triple punch of being a professional athlete + charismatic public-facing superstar + cult/torture dungeon survivor and andrew is always showing him the limits of his body in ways gentle and ungentle. Here is your hand, it is broken but healing. Here is your body against the wall, be careful with it, it can do harm and harm can be done to it. Here is your stomach, it is full of alcohol but I won't let it kill you. Here is your throat, you misused it keeping secrets from me. Tracing the limits between kevin and the world, kevin and andrew. A with-me-but-not-mine configuration that more closely resembles kevin and jean's than kevin and riko's.
That's why andrew's violence doesn't taste like riko's (they can come back from it, or rather, there is no need to come back from it) riko's is a tool of enmeshment---i hurt you because you're mine and your body belongs to me, it is not yours. Andrew's traces the contours---your body is yours and what you chose to do with it almost got someone we both care about killed. It is a teaching tool, a defanged version of the only method kevin understands.
