#teentitians

“It's not that bad. I just moved wrong?"

"You don't even believe you. Pull down the sweater. " He sighed and pulled down his sweater to reveal his arm and shoulder. You walked over to him. Your hands hovered above it as you were trying to get a feel of the energy before deciding how much to use to relieve the pain. Then, you place your hands firmly on him massaging at the shoulder blade area and shoulder. Dick grabbed at the table and stifled his groans. “Look at me.” He met your eyes. “Dick, if you want to heal faster and end the pain, you have to just let out the pain. You are wasting more energy right now, trying to keep quiet.” He looked away instantly and let it out. While, yes, you were shy around him, it all changed when he was in pain. You couldn’t have that. Dick starts letting out more groans of relief. Continuing your movements, you hunch over a bit, so your head levels with his and asks, “Better?” He lets out a relieved sigh as he slouches back a bit and nods weakly. He seemed to be sweating again. While you leave your left hand laying on his shoulder in a massaging movement, your other hand reached out to wipe away his sweat, and you commented, “I’m glad you're not in any more pain.” Unknowingly, he stares at you, which leads to being face to face. You notice after a few minutes that he’s starring, you remove your hand from his face. His left hand finding your left  to stop your movement. He barely manages to utter, “I-I’m good now.” as he swallows. You let out a small shaky breathy laugh and tell him, “Right. I’ll stop. Sorry, I was in the zone of healing.” You remove you hands slowly in your awkward nature. However, you notice he still has an intense gaze on you. Despite all Dick’s restraint, his eyes meet your lips. You're unsure of what to do until his lips attach to yours, and you kiss him back. Your hands frame his face while his left hand finds itself running through your hair. You're completely breathless to begin with, regardless you keep kissing him. You can feel his want as it matched your own. The lights flicker a bit at the energy rush your receiving and your emotions galore. Suddenly, he pulls away slightly, but his lips still connect slightly. You assume he needed to breathe. Against your lips, he says, “We can’t…” He lays another kiss to your lips. “Stop...” You pull back a bit releasing your lips completely free and ask, “What?” He covers his mouth and moves his face back far from yours. 

Aggressively, he says, “I said stop!” You stand up straight and you ask, “Excuse you?” His response to you are the words, “I shouldn't have done that.”, along with a guilty expression. 

“Because?”

“Because.”

“Wow. The man of many words so eloquent. That's all you're really going to say about it?”

“Yes.”

“Okay...Well, I’m not done.”

“Y/N-”

“No! I love you. I do. I think I’ve known for a while. You-”

“Stop.”

“Why would you do this? You have to have some feel-”

“No. Yo-”

”You kissed me! Now, you want me to forget about it?” He changed his expression from guilt to stoic as he nonchalantly says, “Forget about it.” 

“You-Want me to forget about it?” He pauses for a second before answering, “Yes.” You stand up straighter than before. You take a deep breath. Calmly, you tell him, “Done. Enjoy your meal.” while your heart yearns and breaks from the situation, and you walk away from him. 

After that day, you did as he asked, but it didn’t mean you could treat him the way you did before. In order to forget, you kept distance, and your conversations have amounted to chaste questions and responses. Mostly, if you didn't have to talk to him, you weren't going to. While the whole situation pained you, this hurt the less as you were working to forget. You knew he noticed, but what did he expect? The team noticed it of course. They joked about their “parents” fighting.  Despite the joke, you could tell they were worried, so you shut it down every time by distracting from the situation or drumming it to be normal behavior. Dick seemed to be grateful every time you managed it; however, you wouldn't give another glance after. One day, you were feeling bored once more, and you couldn’t let it stand. Only thing worse than being bored was being bored with a head full of thoughts. You were so bored that you started to exercise. You thought you’d never be in this position, yet there you were. You heard a knock on your door. Instantly, you rose from your position on the floor almost embarrassed to be caught exercising. You didn’t look too bad, so you walked over to the door. A small smile on your lips as you opened the door. You smile flattering after seeing Dick’s face. 

“Can we talk?” He asked.

“About?”

“About...The team.”

“What’s going on?” You ask and walk over to your chair to sit on it. You motion for him to sit on the bed, and he complies. He sat right at the end to be close to you, and you almost rolled your eyes at the action instead you ignored it and waited for him to continue speaking. 

“The team’s noticed our relationship...” You almost felt like he was doing this on purpose, which was upsetting you.

“What’s wrong with it? It’s back to what it was.”

“No. It’s different between us.” 

“Hadn’t noticed.” You answer with no interest.

“How much longer is it-Why-Can we go back to before?”

“Before?”

“Yes. We were close-”

“But not too close, right? We’re not too close now. I think that falls under what you wanted.” barely gave a side grin.

“Is this really how it has to be?”

“Yes. I’m trying to forget something, so this is the way. I’m doing what you want, and it’s still not enough? You really are the leader, never satisfied.”

“Y/N, can we have conversation? I mean a real conversation...”

“You know what?” You stand in your seat, and he stands quickly too. You burn your gaze into his eyes and you seethe. “I can't. I can't have a conversation with you. That’s the point of all this. Don’t talk to me about this again.” You turn you back to him and take a step forward as you're about to storm out. You decide against it and tell him, “I shouldn't have to leave my own room. You leave.” He lets out a small laugh, and your heart burns with something far from negativity. You can't help it and tell him, “Stop that.” You said it with no grit thought, so you wouldn't be surprised if he didn’t take you seriously. He walks around you to look into your eyes. You shy away from it. You both just stand awkwardly until he sincerely comments, “I’m sorry…”

“It doesn't matter if you are...or even if I accept things as they are.” You snap your eyes to him softly. “Listen, I really can’t bend anymore for you. You kissed me and told me to forget it. I’ve kept distance because it is literally the only way to get somewhere close to forgetting. What you didn't realize is all the feelings I had before we kissed. That makes all of this so hard. I need you to understand that you can't have everything...most importantly, you should realize that you deserve to be happy, Dick.”

“Deserve to be happy? I’m aware of that.”

“No, you aren’t. If you were you wouldn't have pushed me aside like you did.”

“I can’t.”

“Can't or won’t? There’s a difference. If this about being scared, what do you think I am? I’m scared too, but I also really wanted-want to be with you.”

“Look, I can’t stop thinking about you, and I don’t know what to do anymore. The distance is killing me. I am fully away that this is all because of me. You deserve better than that.”

”So, what are you going to do? I don’t want to have this conversation again, ever. I hate to give an ultimatum. But, I haven't’ had much choice in any of this, and I think that if we don’t resolve this now., we will end up  going around in circles and that’s just going to bring more pain, so it has to be now.” You walk over to the bed and sit down. He stands unmoved and expresses less, but you know he’s deep in through. He strides over to you, which scares you a little. He kneeled down on his knees. His arms landing on either side of your hips. He looks at you earnestly and says, “Out of all the things that scare me, you're at the top of the list. That sounds bad...It’s just you're so good to everyone and with everyone. You make me feel all kinds of things I haven’t felt in a long time-In a way, it actually is not the same feeling because it’s different with you. When I kissed you, I couldn't help myself. My whole being seems to know it wants more than me because I get in my own way, your right about that. It’s just the thoughts that make me conflicted. Anyway, the point I'm getting at is that I want to be with you too. If this is my last chance, I’m-I’m taking it.” He smiles at you, and you smile back.