#tearful

April 30th, 2020

Jackson Avery is sitting at the park bench waiting for April Kepner who asked to speak with him last night. Yesterday they worked together for the first time in years on two young girls who were kidnapped. The night was long and sorrowful for both of them, and it made them question their feelings for one another. It made him question if he was ready to give their relationship another chance.

He sits at the bench thinking about his conversation with Alex last night and his advice when Jackson told him about him and April. Alex said that maybe the timing was right for them this time, but the question was did Jackson want it to be? It’s a question that has been wracking in his head all night and ultimately, he came to a conclusion that has been building inside of him for weeks since he found out April and Matthew broke up.

He sees April approaching him in her casual clothes and black mask. He stands up and keeps six feet away from her.

“Hi.” Jackson greets her, “I’m glad you texted me last night, I uh I needed to talk to you about some things.”

April nods, “Me too…let me start by telling you what Amber said that pissed me off so much. She said that the reason you are unwilling to take me back is because I left after Samuel.”

Jackson’s heart tightens at the reminder of that painful time of their marriage but lets April continue, “And I thought she was being awful but there was some truth to what she said and I realize that now and I know now the real reason you signed the papers that day.”

“April I-” Jackson tries to respond but his phone rings and he looks and see’s it’s Alex to his confusion, “I gotta take this it could be a patient of mine.”

Jackson answers the phone and holds it against his ear while April looks ready to give the rest of her speech, “Yeah?” April sees Jackson listening to Alex on the phone and something he said caused his eyes to widen.

“DeLuca did what?” April begins to grow concerned as she sees Jackson’s face pale and his mouth drop open, “Okay, okay, I’m coming.” He hangs up the phone, “We gotta get to the hospital come on.”

Jackson doesn’t wait for a response as he walks in the direction of the hospital at a fast pace with April following, “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“I’ll explain on the way but we gotta hurry.” Jackson continues walking fast with April following as he explains what happened.

Later

Alex sits on a pew at the chapel with his sister next to him. She is still wearing her casual clothes with her mask on. Her elbows are against the back of the pew in front of them leaning down and closing her eyes trying to take slow and deliberate breaths to keep from having another panic attack. Also in the chapel are Carina DeLuca and Maya Bishop who are at the first pew sitting in silence as well.

After she cried on his shoulder, he got someone to cover her service knowing she is not in the right state to treat patients. Alex knows his sister is trying to focus on her breathing so the million bad things in her head can be kept at bay. It’s what he and Aaron taught her, rise through the pain. He admonishes himself for telling his baby sister to shove down the pain that she needs to feel otherwise she could explode once the emotional dam bursts.

Jackson and April enter the chapel with worried looks on both of their faces. They see Amber in the pew and their worry morphs to that of sympathy. Alex stands up to allow them to comfort her in her time of need. Jackson takes Alex’s place; Amber opens her eyes and sees her best friend right next to her who pulls her against him.

She doesn’t fight it, instead she lets him pull her into his embrace allowing her to cry in his presence. Amber holds Jackson’s forearm around her for dear life and the small chapel is filled with her small cries and sniffles that Carina shares as well in the front row. Maya holds her as she breaks down over her brother being in surgery while Amber breaks down over the man, she loves being hurt the day she was gonna tell him she still loves him. Alex and April look at the couples in sadness, not knowing how they can mend their pain.

“Any updates?” April whispers to Alex anxiously.

“No, he’s still in surgery, Hunt and Altman are working on him.”

April blanches at that, “How bad was it?”

Alex looks just as tormented, “It’s bad.”

April shudders at that and sees Amber still crying in Jackson’s arms, “How is she?”

“She was a wreck when they brought him in, she was right there we both were.” April closes her eyes at the thought of Amber being right there in the middle of all of that chaos, “She had a panic attack, but I calmed her down and now…now we’re just waiting.”

“Waiting is the worst thing a person can do at a time like this.” April’s eyes glisten in tears, “She loves him, she never stopped. She was gonna give him another chance and then…”

Alex sighs at that, “I imagined so many bad things happening to him. He hurt my sister, and I saw the damage he left and I…he’s gotta pull through. He’s gotta pull through.”

April can see her old friend beating himself up and blaming himself for what happened to DeLuca, “Even if you specifically wished it, a sex trafficker attacking him would not have been you’re doing. Don’t blame yourself, your shame spiral is not needed, not when your sister needs you right now. I blamed myself for what happened to Samuel so many times until someone convinced me that it was out of my control. This was out of all of our control and all we can do now is pray for the best and prepare for the worst.”

Alex nods at that sage advice, “Have I told you I missed having you around?”

April grins at that, “No but I wouldn’t mind you saying it every day I continue to work here.”

Alex’s phone beeps and he looks at the message in regret, “Damn it, Hayes found a bronchogenic cyst in Luna, he needs me in the OR. Can you guys stay with her while I go?”

“Yeah of course. We’ll call you if we need anything or if we have any updates.” Alex nods gratefully before leaving. April approaches Jackson who is holding Amber in his arms as she begins to calm down, “I’m gonna light a candle are you good?”

Jackson nods letting April do her praying routine as he focuses on his friend in his arms. Her sobbing has stopped though he can see tears streaming down her cheeks from her red and blotchy eyes. Seeing her like this makes him want to go to the OR and make sure DeLuca comes out alive for his sake as well as Amber’s. But he knows she needs him here, holding her and making sure one of them is strong enough to carry the other.

“Hunt and Altman are the best people we could ask to patch up DeLuca. If I was in his position, I would want them to treat me. I know it’s hell but all we can do is wait and I’ll wait with you, you can count on me for that, I promise.” Jackson rubs Amber’s arm up and down with her head against his chest.

“I should have told him last night.” Amber sniffles and exhales a shaky breath, “I ignored his calls and made him think that the night we spent together was just some random hookup. He thought things were the same that I…that I couldn’t forgive him or love him.”

Jackson’s heart breaks for his broken best friend as she continues to confess her regrets in his arms, “He tried to change my mind last night. He came to me, and he told me he would earn back my trust. He told me things would be different, he said that I was the love of his life…and I walked away.”

Amber’s voice breaks with every sentence that destroys her already fragile heart, “I walked away and left him there. I didn’t say anything, no I love you, no good night just nothing. The last moment I had with him I let him think I was never gonna love him again. My last words to him were nothing and now he could die, and I’ll never say the things I wanted to say last night to him. He’ll never know how much he means to me…he’ll never know I never stopped loving him.”

Jackson sighs at this pressing a kiss to her head in brotherly love, “He knows, deep down he knows.”

“I can’t believe this is happening.” Amber states in shock and despair, “I mean with everything that’s happened and now this?”

Amber sobs softly in Jackson’s arms with her face pressed against his chest. He allows her tears to soak through his shirt as it’s the only thing he feels he can do at this moment. Jackson holds her against him by her arm letting his chin rest on top of her blonde head. He closes his eyes and says a silent prayer to every higher power he can to let DeLuca live so this beautiful and strong girl in his arms can say what she needs to say and get the happy ending they both deserve.

Since in November it's gonna be 100 years pf Hachiko in November, I decided to share my review of this movie I had watched a year ago, out of pure love for Japanese culture and dogs. Many of you have heard of the 2009 American version Hachi: Dog's Tale with the great Richard Gere, but this movie is the original movie about the greatest dog to live in Japan. The story is the same as in the 2009 version, but this is true to the original story in Japan.

Although the movie has the same plot as the American version, this movie shows a lot more to the tragic story of the Japan's most loyal dog. Director Kōyama's take into the most known tale of the most famous Akita is to touch your heart with the lovely interaction between the professor and Hachiko, and the interaction between his wife and daughter, who he also loved but the professor was his life. The scenery of the movie is historically accurate to the photos of Tokyo and the Shibuya station before WWII, making it interesting and intriguing to those who are interested in Japan, its history and culture. The emotions the audience experiences is through dog's eyes, and Tetsuji Hayashi's music will both warm your heart and tear you up with each scene. Tatsuya Nakadai as Professor Ueno did a wonderful performance, with Kaoru Yachigusa delivering a tearing performance as the grieving widow.

The critiques I have are towards missing details and innaccuracies in the movie. It bothered me that they didn't include the first statue of Hachi, the one Hachi had seen before his death as a loving gift of citizens of Tokyo, who were touched by his loyal dedication. It would have let the viewers know that Hachi was well respected and cared about, despite the harsh treatments he received before his death. There was also criticism of Tetsuji Hayashi's song at the end of the movie, but that is a matter of taste.

Overall, this movie is a beautiful, yet heartbreaking story of what we humans lack of; loyalty. This movie will surely bring you to tears, and remind us dog owners, to make the most of our moments with them memorable, cause they may have been in one part of our lives, but we have been their whole life.