#tbb deke

"Quiet!" You scolded, trying to rock Cece to sleep. You went from one child, to four, and now you had a baby to take care of on top of the four young clones currently arguing over your kitchen sink. Most of the time there were plenty of people to help you out, but today Wrecker was on an overnight fishing trip with his friends, Crosshair was "minding his own business" (codeword for a date) and Shep and Lyana were having a well-deserved father-daughter dinner. You were perfectly well equipped to handle all the kids on your own, but the constant fighting was giving you a headache.

Under your stone-cold glare, Deke, Stak, Mox, and Omega went silent, but only for a moment. They began whispering in sharp tones, as if you couldn't hear them, and once again escalated into insults and jabs.

You sat next to the cradle, rocking it back and forth gently, but you knew well enough now that as long as she could hear her siblings, Cece would refuse to go to sleep. 

"I'm ho-"

"You take that back!"

"No!" 

"Can you just do the dishes!"

Hunter stood in the doorway, his greeting poised on the tip of his tongue. His eyes narrowed at the chaos unfolding in the kitchen. Even Omega didn't notice he was back yet.

"Have they been like this all day?" He asked, slowly closing the door as if any sudden noises would aggravate the teenagers.

"Would you believe me if I said this is better than how they acted at lunchtime?"

"Shut up!"

"You shut up!"

"Kids!" Hunter said in a warning tone, "No more fighting!"

All of them jumped, surprised to see Hunter back from his workshop. 

"Fine," They all said in that same 'Get off my back' tone that teenagers used to appease their parents without being regretful.

With a heavy sigh, Hunter came up to you and placed a tender kiss on your forehead.

"Ew!" Stak declared, and the raucous in the kitchen went strangely silent.

"What?" You asked. Even Omega was recoiled in horror. Deke was trying to use a plate to shield his eyes.

"It's just a kiss, we do it all the time," Hunter said.

"You're our parents! You're not supposed to give us the oogies!" Mox gagged. 

"Oogies?" You asked with a giggles. 

Hunter got a mischievous glint in his eyes, signaling one of those crazy hare-brained schemes that got them out of trouble and gave High Command headaches back during the war. He squared his shoulders and stood to his full height, clearing his throat to use the "Sergeant Voice".

"New rule! Whenever one of you starts giving me attitude, I'm gonna start hitting on Mom!"

"What?" Deke shrieked. He dropped a plate, but caught it quick. 

Hunter draped his arm across your shoulders and leaned in closer, "Hey there sugar," He used a seductive, flirtatious tone like he had when you first started dating, when he still felt the need to impress you. You giggled at how ridiculous it was, but it was working. 

"How're you doin', baby girl?" He said with a purr.

"What is happening?" Omega whimpered, peeking through her fingers

"How you feel about another child?" 

"No," You said firmly, but smiled at him as the kids wailed. Cece added her own cry of delight. 

Hunter pouted, but he was having the time of his life.

"What about you, I could rub your ankles, give you a massage?" Hunter purred like a nexu. 

"Mmm, that sounds wonderful," You sighed, playing along. 

"Why me?" Stak crumbled to the floor. 

Hunter mimed several loud, wet kisses that made Deke retch. 

"Are we gonna adjust that attitude?" Hunter faced you, but his eyes glanced at your kids. 

"Yes!" They all wailed. Deke began scrubbing the dishes with renewed vigor. 

"Are we gonna clean without crying or fighting?"

"Yes!"

Hunter stood tall, "From now on: You give me attitude-" He nodded to you, "-I hit on Mom!"

"No!"

"The worse your attitude, the more Mom's gonna blush."

You flushed horribly, and ducked your head.

"No, no, stop!" Omega begged.

"Stop, please!"

"Ner cyare," Hunter purred again, running his hand along your chin, "Ner mesh'la dala..."

"What...what is this?" Stak whimpered.

"Gar kandosii," Hunter murmured, "Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum..."

Mox was prone on the floor, the heel of his palms digging into his ears, but even that wasn't enough to block out the flirtations Hunter kept throwing at you "I don't know what that means, but I probably don't wanna know."

"Does it matter?" Hunter asked slyly, "Do you want to know what I said?"

"No!" Stak said. 

"Do you want to imagine what I said to Mom?" 

"No!"

"So the next time I instruct you guys to do dishes without fighting, you will do dishes without fighting, or I will hit on Mom."

"Okay, okay!" 

"In front of you, loudly. I could start kissing." Hunter pulled you to your feet and dipped you down with his arms around your waist.

You looped your arms around his neck, "I love kisses!"

Hunter kissed your forehead, your cheek, slowly working his way towards your lips. 

"We're sorry!" Omega pleaded. 

"You'd better be sorry!" Hunter said

"I know I'm not," you whispered, kissing his cheek.

Hunter chuckled, kissing you on the lips. Omega giggled, and Hunter zeroed in on her. 

"Have you learned your lesson?"

"Yes!" They promised.

"Good," Hunter wrapped his arm around your waist, "Oh, and don't forget to feed Batcher. Without fighting."

"Yes, sir," Came the reluctant chorus. 

You kissed Hunter's nose.

"I think I could do with another lesson or two, sir."

"Easy there, Mama." Hunter warned, "Thought you didn't want another one," He reached out to rock the cradle, though Cece wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. 

"Not right now, but someday." You said.