#task: fear

The entire process of becoming a vampire has been scary and shocking for Jacqueline. Her memories of the event were completely gone when she was first turned and it made the process of control all the more complicated. How could you control something you knew nothing about? The urges were so strong and giving in was so much easier. It was merely her morals that kept her in any control at all and even those sometimes lost the fight to her hunger. It was when that happened that Jacqueline wondered if letting herself be this kind of a monster was the right thing to do. She was technically dead now and what was worse, actually being dead or being a vampire. It's a constant question in her mind as she fears the next time she loses control of her urges. Control that she has been trying so hard to maintain.

The fear has always lurked in the back of her mind. Ever since she escaped her captors by killing the man who called himself her Master. Witches were the enemy and they had been since she could remember which meant she couldn't possibly be one herself. Every part of her depended on her hatred of witches to drive her and if she was one her world would be turned upside down. Even with all the mounting evidence to prove it she  would always be afraid to admit it to herself. Diana knows the possibility looms but coming to terms with it is the worst thing she could possibly imagine. 

Carson spent most of her life rolling with each bad thing as it came but there was one that finally stopped her in her tracks. The mere thought of it sent chills racing down her spin. She's always worked in a dangerous business but now the danger was even more real. More than once Carson has had to defend her own life but now to know she had limitations in doing so was scary. If she even accidentally killed someone or it was somehow her fault that someone died then she would trigger something unimaginable. Or at least it was at the time until she discovered that the world of the supernatural was in fact very real. The fear became even more real then. Carson could never imagine being a werewolf. She feared she wouldn't have the control she needed to keep from hurting even more people then the one it would take for her to bring forth that side of her. Being a werewolf was unimaginable and horrifying. Sometimes she thought she'd rather die.

Once upon a time Alessandra was nothing but a human girl with a fire in her veins and hardly any means of protecting herself. Her parents wanted to see her properly wed and in that process they forfeit her life to a man who meant to hurt her. A man who tried to kill her and brought forth powers in her she never knew she had. The helplessness she felt when he attacked was a feeling she never wants to feel again in her life. A feeling that stuck with her for a time after she escaped him until she met Aleksey Vazov and realized her potential. Once her powers had been realized Alessandra never felt helpless again. She could not only protect herself but she could hurt others the way she had been hurt. Fate was in her petite hands. She would never give that power away and she never wants to feel like she's helpless again. If Alessandra would ever admit to having a fear then this would be it. 

All her life Nyala found it hard to trust others. She was trained to be that way and the feelings only increased as she felt the sting of betrayal over and over. It may have been small things but they picked away at her until being brtrayed became the thing she feared most. She trusted no one. Not until they had proven themselves and even then it was hard to keep that trust. One sign of wrong intention and she would shut the person out completely. It's hard to live a life where you can trust nobody aside from yourself but she feels she has to do it. Lately this fear has been eating away at her even more as she has begun to doubt her beliefs and fall for someone she would have never given a chance in her past. His betrayal would be what she fears most. It could very well shatter her fragile mental health. 

Nika never really had any great fears after losing her family and being reborn for the first time. She learned to take life for what it was and roll with all the punches. Sure there were petty fears like any human being had but nothing that kept her awake at night. Not until she found Aleksey and soon after Mikael. She was used to having shorter life spans but she always came back so it had never worried her. Now the mere thought of leaving her brother's alone in the city was terrifying. Dying and leaving them completely left a feeling of dread in her. She had to be there for them. They couldn't take care of themselves let alone each other and she could never leave them. For the first time in all of her lives the thought of her own death terrified her. 

It wasn't just selfish emotional needs that had Ivory running from her family so long. Once she was gone she worried what the discovery of her mere continued existence would bring down upon them. They could so easily use anyone in her family to persuade her right back into their captive arms. She couldn't breath a word for fear of them being hurt. Even after many years and finally reuniting with Tobias she still holds onto this fear. Every moment spent with him is one etched with worry. Will someone discover what she is even though her form is no longer taken at all? Will they hurt him to get to her? The threat is one that she cannot determine until it has already become real and she doesn't ever want to let it reach that point. Living with this fear every day wears on her more than one could imagine. She even keeps her descendants in her sights as much as she can to protect them as well. Protection which could see herself hurt in the process. Hurt or even killed.

Blaise Harman isn't a girl known for fearing anything. If you were to ask anyone surrounding her what she feared they would struggle for an answer. Ask her and she would merely laugh in your face. Fear is not a part of her carefully composed act. That doesn't mean she doesn't have one. Atelophobia: The fear of never being good enough. Next to her goody two shoes cousin, Blaise has always felt severely flawed. She was the problem child, the bad one. Some people would even refer to her as a monster and deep down Blaise agreed with them. A monster can never be good. She will never be good. And how can the bad girl ever be good enough for anyone?