These walls never change. And still—I never feel at home. There’s no noise that is unfamiliar. No smell that I don’t commit to memory. And yet, I never seem to find myself relaxing. Many of the nurses feel differently, though. They’re chittering on and on about the General’s dinner happening tonight.
My eyes trace the lines of the ceiling, fixated on a stain that has always looked like a ruffled cat, fur poking in every direction. Its long tail curls down the center of the ceiling tile, probably marking the trail of a water stain making its way through the cracks. There’s a small green vine peeking through the seam of the two tiles, as if surveying the scene below.
At least something in this hell hole of a bunker gets to thrive.
“Ok, hun. You’re good to go.” The nurse chirps in my ear. She takes the needle out of my arm very carefully, making sure to put a cotton ball right over the area where they just drew my blood. I sit up, my head feeling instantly light.
She’s just a child, Lucas! Stop it–Stop–
A cold palm grips the bare skin of my forearm, instantly jarring me out of my thoughts.
“Geez, Maria. Did you take enough?” The man before me reaches for the tray in between us, the blood swishing around erratically at the lightest touch. As my thoughts return to me, I realize that there are three extra tubes in the tray. No wonder I feel so dizzy.
Maria gives him a stern look, gently laying her hand on the tray to steady it. “I’m just doing what is best for her, Wes. Did you forget that I’m the nurse here?”
He scoffs before looking at me, his gaze meeting mine. His eyes are a rich blue, the hue making me forget most things and remembering others. Most of the time, the color reminds me of the ocean. My mom and I would travel to Oregon to see my aunt and uncle every other year. The ocean was so vast, I wasn’t sure how to feel about it. If I jumped into the water, how far would the tide take me?
I ask myself this question every time he looks at me like this. With so much care and gentleness that I don’t know what to do with it. If I jumped into his warmth, how quickly would I drown?
“Tasi? Are you feeling ok?” He shifts his palm on my forearm, raking his thumb over the sensitive part of my wrist. Most people would find the touch of the one who is responsible for making sure you never leave to be repulsive. There was a time when I did hate it, shoved him away, cried my eyes out and begged him to give me a quick death.
But he never did. He only watched as I crawled along the ground, tears and drool pooling onto the cold concrete between us.
And then one day, he cried with me. He picked me up off of the ground, held me, and cried with me.
That was the day things started to change. He must have found himself feeling particularly dutiful, because he requested that I be his permanent assignment. When I first heard the news, I think I should have dreaded the inclination that I was enough of a prisoner to be a permanent assignment. But all I could think about were his eyes. His smile. His warmth.
My wrist was beginning to feel that warmth. Too warm. Burning, even. I gently pull my wrist away from him, withdrawing it into my lap as I begin to nervously play with the brand new bandage around my arm.
“Yes,” a hoarse croak of a word followed by me clearing my stupid, embarrassingly closed up throat, “I’m fine. Just a bit light headed.”
Wes’ gaze drops to me nervously picking at my bandage, a small crease forming between his brows. For a moment, I’m afraid he’s going to push Maria to answer some more questions. I don’t care. I want to get back to my room.
But he just sighs, gives me a small smile, and then shrugs. “Not like you needed it anyway, right? It’s just blood.”
Maria huffs in disapproval. “Good grief, if you’re going to continue insulting me, can you at least do it out of earshot?” Her arms flail about in front of her, ushering us to the door.
“Well, that’s no fun. How could I annoy you if you can’t hear me?” He chides, a big grin overtaking his once small smile. The smile reaches his eyes, the ocean of his eyes now turning into a small lake. I find myself returning a small smile as I push myself off of the exam table and begin walking towards the door.
Wes grabs my jacket for me, opening the door and sending a playful wink at Maria all in the same motion.
She is at a loss for words. I turn to look at her, shocked by her silence only to see that she is becoming red in the face. “Uh oh. She’s gonna blow.” I whisper to Wes, stepping through the threshold of the door.
He quickly follows behind me, his chin barely grazing my ear as he whispers back to me. “Yeah. That’s the point.”
I let myself laugh now that he has closed the door behind us. We’re both laughing a little now, and it’s now that I realize something that the so-called qualified nurse should have noticed: his laugh is infectious.
