#tasbih

SURAU.CO-Menghidupkan malam dengan tasbih memberi kekuatan baru bagi hati yang lelah. Menghidupkan malam dengan tasbih juga menuntun pikiran untuk fokus pada Allah, bukan pada hiruk-pikuk dunia. Saat tangan menggerakkan butiran, hati bergetar, dan jiwa terasa lebih dekat kepada Sang Pencipta. Saya melihat banyak orang menemukan ketenangan melalui tasbih. Mereka memulai dengan rasa resah, lalu…

This is something I often do not talk about. And right now I do not have a lot of readers.

My family, mostly christians and one or two lovers of meditation will probably understand the following words.

Back in 2010 or so, I met a boy in my english class, he was wearing what is called a "buddhist mala". He, a bit afraid to say he is buddhist just told us it was a present.

My dad and mom never educated me in any particular religion. But I got interested, I discovered along with my mom that we were really good in meditation, so I started calling myself tibetan buddhist. But I needed something, a mala.

One day in a street market near Germany, I was in a hunt for antique things and I came across this woman who was selling malas. My sister bought it for me. The first thing I noticed, was the incredible smell of the wood.

In buddhism and hinduism the number 108 is very important. However my mala had 99 beads instead of 108, so I just counted more and never asked myself why 99.

I finished my undergraduate degree, started a graduate degree and every single day I meditated. Sometimes mantras, but mostly single words like "health" as I have a lot of problems with it.

My mala became part of my wall decoration as I used it so much that the string was too loose.

I went to internet and now I got a 108 beads mala.

My mom passed away almost 6 years ago and again my mala got broken. Grief was intense, as my family and me didn't know how sick she was. My health problems increased and with that my love for anthropology went down.

I looked on amazon for a new mala, it was pretty cheap and it looked amazing. It was sold to me as a meditation bracelet.

Guess what? 33 beads now.

I speak a bit arabic, or at least enough to undertand the word Allah and Muhammed (pbuh).

Did a logical anthropological/religious research and yes. I found it.

Allah has been by my side a long time. My meditations were prayers to him. My health is now good, not perfect because we are not perfect.

I went to Jordan to do some research related to archeology, a predominant muslim place.

Yesterday I asked on a tiktok video if a non muslim could visit the Kaaba, because as a history lover I know the story behind that beautiful place, I mean... the Kaaba! 🕋

I got a weird answer. "No darling, it is a holy place only for believers, not tourists"

It confused me a lot. I firmly believe that Allah found me, I speak to him and I see amazing answers. However, I do not have a shahada, I do not speak arabic fluently, but I recite dhikr, I use my tasbih (the proper name of the beads). So what am I?

I ask with so much respect to every muslim reading this.

Did Allah found me? Is that possible?

Thank you.

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