#talktherapy

Long time ago, I was hearing voices of me becoming a nun. I started to feel convinced but overwhelmed. I got so sick of the words when I hurt a malicious voice begging me to become a nun. I watched documentaries of people who had received the calling. I read articles of how people knew they were called to the religious life. There is a guy who became a priest and he said there was a voice who talked to him very pretty and nice. He felt blessed when heard the voice, “be my priest” There was more to it. When I was 20 years old, One time and several visits to the blessed sacrament, I visit the chapel in my home parish. I cried and plead to God of my own situation. I cried so much and asked him if he wanted me to be a nun, to be nicer and gentle. Suddenly, something was happening to me. I started getting answers and thoughts. Sort of diabolical dreams. I started seeing this guy who cursed me and told me bad things about the Catholic Church and my beliefs. He told me in my face to become a nun. In reality, he was interested to be with in me romantically, but not seriously. Anyhow, I started seeing him in my dreams and he was possessing me. Dark shadows I saw in my room started making sense. So I continued praying. The physical sensations and tingling I felt started to leave me, but the voices continued. I could not live with them. So I felt going crazy. Little by little I knew it was not divine assistance telling me this. Now, as a Catholic, I tried to pray but I get sort of nervous because when I pray the holy rosary and read the Bible, the memories come back. I feel I am called to be a nun and I am not comfortable been a real Catholic who prays and believes to achieve for the best. I feel very little recalling these voices and my mind calls these voices once again. I don’t want to go to therapy because I don’t want to diagnosed with schizophrenia. I am not that crazy. Is just some paranormal science I have. Misunderstood things.