#takeahint

Comic 178

We know that men are visual creatures.  Men see what they like and instantly will gravitate toward their object of desire and delude themselves into thinking that if they like this woman, it MUST be mutual.  This is usually accompanied by a good chest beating and grunts

As the Great Gazoo would say “oh you dumb dumbs”🤣

I’m also a natural flirt, so I have to keep my body language in check when I am clearly NOT interested in a man. BUT it seems that men don’t know how to read body language as their visual queues are very much limited to the aesthetic. 

If a woman keeps her conversation short and curt, and keeps her limbs to herself and orders like a bird...she is NOT interested!!! 

Fav signs Dating Story: Lunch time date out by the airport.  Phone call, check.  Tall, check. Good job, check. In person, not check.  Actually he was Polish🙄  He became very handsy the second he saw me.  Short of smacking my ass as we walked into the bar, this 6′3 big boy wanted to make a statement to the cock fest waiting inside. He proceeds to order half the menu as I stick to my salad and single (that’s my go to order when I have zero interest) and he engages in his own lively talk track telling jokes and laughing at his own comedy. Even looking up at some of the dudes at the bar for some type of validation. 

I excuse myself to freshen up and upon my return tell him I have to jet.  Timing was good so he settled up with the server and we walked out with his hand on my hip.  I quickly removed it coyly as though I was adjusting my purse. 

As we get to my car I extend my hand to shake his and to thank him.  That’s when he leans in for a kiss.  I push him away and he berates me in the parking lot telling me I owed him a kiss for the lunch he bought.  He then pushed me up against my car and leans in again.  

Now I am no small woman but even a 6′3 250 lbs man will make my life a little difficult.  I planted my knee between his legs, thrust the cradle of my hand against the nape of his neck and threw all my weight shoving him up against the mini van behind him.  I yelled at him as loudly and aggressively as I could telling him “don't you ever fucking touch me again asshole”.   That got the attention of the other patrons leaving. I quickly got in my car and squealed out of the parking lot. 

          Some people can never take a hint, just like some people can never openly express their discomfort. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where, despite your short responses, subtle nods, and quickly disappearing smile, some people can't understand you don't want to talk to them? Perhaps you've been on the opposite side of this situation and quickly know when someone isn't interested in conversing with you? When it comes to social situations, socially rejected people are more likely to "take a hint," as opposed to people who feel socially powerful, all based on someone's smile. 

          Individuals who fear rejection or are suffering from rejection tend to have a greater focus on social cues. Social cues include body language, tone of voice, and, most importantly, facial expressions. Facial expressions are a social clue that can be identifiable; focus on the smile.

Image Credit: Gify.com     

      A genuine smile that directs from positive emotion and may be an indication of true enjoyment is called a "Duchenne smile." The Duchenne smile is named after anatomist Guillaume Duchenne who did various studies on emotional expression. Duchenne smiles occur when the zygomatic major (in our cheeks) tugs our lips forward, and the orbicularis oculi (encircling our eye socket) contracts. According to Duchenne, the zygomatic major can be forced to function, making a fake smile, but the orbicularis oculi will only contract from genuine positive emotion. Individuals prone to social rejections are more likely to pick up on the forcing of a smile and gravitate towards Duchenne smiles.

          An individual forcing a smile means they aren't fully engaged in the event happening but would like to seem friendly. Somewhere this usually occurs when talking to someone of higher power like a boss. Posing a fake smile and being seemingly friendly rather than unapproachable and visually uninterested can be the difference between a job or unemployment. People who feel socially rejected have a greater focus on a simple social clue like a smile because it can mean the difference between a real friend or wasting their energy on someone not receptive to the same level of kindness.

Image Credit: Gify.com

         A study done by researchers at the University of California, San Diego, separated people into two groups: people who felt personally powerful and people who felt less powerful. The study presented both subject parties with videos of people in various social rankings (high-ranking like a doctor or low-ranking like a janitor). It evaluated the subject's involuntary facial movements as they watched the video. The study determined people who felt more powerful rarely returned the smile of someone in a high-ranking position. Still, people who felt less powerful returned anyone's smile regardless of rank.

          People who feel socially powerful are more likely not to distinguish a Duchenne smile from a fake smile. People who feel socially relevant can vary from a work supervisor to a popular high school cheerleader. Socially influential people do not need to find people to accept them. Usually, people who feel more powerful socially do not need to seek out Duchenne smiles from fake smiles because they don't need validation from social acceptance. Perhaps the reason why an exchange with a boss or someone who feels more socially relevant doesn't "take a hint" is that they have never needed to differentiate Duchenne smiles from fake smiles.

          People who feel socially powerful are more likely not to distinguish a Duchenne smile from a fake smile. People who feel socially relevant can vary from a work supervisor to a popular high school cheerleader. Socially influential people do not need to find people to accept them. Usually, people who feel more powerful socially do not need to seek out Duchenne smiles from fake smiles because they don't need validation from social acceptance. Perhaps the reason why an exchange with a boss or someone who feels more socially relevant doesn't "take a hint" is that they have never needed to differentiate Duchenne smiles from fake smiles. The same study mentioned previously stated that people who feel powerful will rarely return the smile of someone in a position of power. 

Image Credit: Google.com 

Foreplay. Is. Important.