#taeyangsf9

“Y/n, are you in here? Please let me in. I can’t be alone right now…” The voice trailed off. You moved from out of in front of the door, slumping against the wall. “It’s open.” You said, your voice hoarse and tired from crying all night. The door opened and a disheveled Hwiyoung walked through the doorway. He looked down at you with tears streaming down his face and asked if he could sit with you. All you did was nod and he sat down next to you. You stared at your blood covered sleeves and whispered: “I can’t believe he’s gone.”

Flashback

He was the best thing to ever happen to you and you loved him with your entire being. The thought of losing him was the most unsettling thing you have ever felt. Taeyang smiled at you as you two walked from the theater to your car after a late showing. He brought your hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it.

“You know I love you right? And that I’ll never leave?” His beautiful voice rang in your ears. Your happy expression fell and you looked concerned. “Is everything okay?” You asked him in a serious tone. “Everything’s fine, I just wanted you to know that.”

“Okay, well, I love you too.” You smiled up at him and kissed his cheek. You walked for about ten more minutes, not realizing how far you guys had actually parked from the movie theater.

“Taeyang, how much further till we get to the parking garage?” You craned your neck to try to see up ahead. “I don’t remember where it was.”

“Just a block more and we’ll be there.” You held his hand tighter and moved closer to him. You didn’t like walking around the city this late at night, it made you notice everything. You guys rounded the corner onto a dark street and immediately you saw someone smoking about fifteen feet ahead of you. You didn’t like the way the man looked and tried to tug Taeyang away to go another way but he just kept walking down the street towards the man.

The man dropped his cigarette and put it out with his foot. He stepped in front of the two of you and smiled at you. His teeth were yellowed and you could smell alcohol emanating from him.

“You wouldn’t happen to have some spare change would you?” He asked, slurring his words a bit.

“Sorry no we only have cards. Excuse us please.” Taeyang said politely to the stranger as he tried to step around him. “I said excuse me.” The man only smiled more at him.

“What about the watch on your wrist?” The man gestured to Taeyang’s arm. Taeyang’s face turned to disgust but he still somehow managed to be polite. “I’m not giving you my watch, now if you would just let us pass please.” He moved around the man with you tucked against him, but the man grabbed Taeyang’s arm.

“Give me the watch and your wallet and I promise I won’t hurt you.” He said, his faces inches apart from your boyfriend’s. Taeyang tried to yank his arm out of the man’s grasp but was unsuccessful. He stood in front of you to shield you from the horrible man. “I said I don’t have any cash and that I’m not giving you my watch. Now, please, let us go.” You heard his patience running thin in the tone of his voice. Your body was shaking and you placed your face on his back.

The man reached into his coat and pulled out a gun, pressing it to Taeyang’s abdomen. “I’m going to give you to the count of five and if you cooperate I’ll let you live.” Taeyang tried to reason with the man, but as he started counting Taeyang removed his watch and gave that and his wallet to the man. He chuckled at your boyfriend, “You fool.” You heard two loud pops and screamed as the man ran away. Taeyang crumbled to the ground, holding his stomach. Blood came from between his fingers as you called 911, dropping down next to him and put pressure on the wound.

“Taeyang, baby, please talk to me. Please, I can’t lose you.” You cried out, tears falling down your cheeks. He looked at you, his face pale and his eyes lacking that sparkle they always had. Taeyang placed his blood-soaked hand on your cheek and wiped a tear away with his thumb. He coughed, more blood coming out of his mouth.

“I love you. I promise I’ll always be here.” His voice was weak and his breathing got shallow.

“Baby, please hold on for me. They’re almost here. Please don’t leave me.” You kept talking to him as he bounced in and out of consciousness. You heard sirens and then saw the red flashing lights come up to the two of you. The EMT’s quickly got out of the back of the vehicle with all the stuff they needed.

“Miss you have to move, we need to get him into the ambulance.” The female said as she somewhat shoved you out of the way. They cut open his shirt and the male pressed his hands against his abdomen as the woman slid a yellow board under him.

“On my count: 1,2,3.” She said, lifting him on three and placing him on the gurney. They did the straps and ran to the ambulance. You got in after they place him inside. You watched in disbelief as they hooked up an iv, oxygen, and blood.

“Sir, can you hear me? You’ve been injured, blink if you can understand me.” The woman shined a light in his eyes and he blinked. You eagerly grabbed his hand and held it tight. Unable to form any words and let them pass your lips, you just stared and stared till everything around you disappeared and all you saw was the love of your life. ‘Please stay with me,’ you thought to yourself over and over for what felt like an eternity. A sharp beeping sound brought you out of your trance and took you back to reality.

“He’s crashing! Push 2 of epi,” One of the men yelled, “Starting compressions.” He placed his hands on your boyfriend's chest and pumped. You dropped Taeyang’s hand.

“Charging to 200,” the woman placed the defibrillator on him, “Clear!” The machine shocked him and his body arched up. One beep, then nothing except that sharp continuous sound. The man started pumping your boyfriend’s chest, “He’s still down! Charging to 250,” she placed the pads back onto him,”Clear!” His body arched again. One beep, then nothing. You could feel yourself choking on the air surrounding you as you saw the life slip out of your boyfriend and tears streamed down your face. They continued the procedure three more times and you felt like this was just a horrible nightmare, hoping you’d wake up any minute.

“Time of death: 22:40.” And that was when you completely broke down. You threw yourself on top of his own body and sobbed into his neck.

“You said you’d always be here! You promised! Please come back oh god! Please don’t leave me!” You continued this till you got to the hospital. The EMT's had to pry you off of him as the doctors took him away from you. You stumbled out of the vehicle and into the emergency room where the police were waiting for you. They waited an hour before questioning you about the man that stole the love of your life away from you and you shook as you described his face, recalling every detail.

The doctors asked if he had any family and you told them that his family doesn’t live in America, so instead, you gave them his best friends number. They asked if you wanted to stay and you shook your head. A nurse called a cab for you and waited for it with you. You were numb and silent as you waited, standing in a haze. The cab pulled up and you got in, giving the cabbie your address. Your shirt was stained with his blood. You got home and walked to your door and just stood and stared at your apartment number, the apartment the two of you had shared for two years. Finally, after a few minutes, you walked inside.

End of flashback

As you stared at your bloodstained clothing, you started trembling. You looked at Hwiyoung with a horrified look on your face, “Thi-this is his blood.” Your breathing sped up and you shook harder, “This is his blood.” you repeated, standing up quickly and running to the bathroom. You turned the shower on and stepped inside, fully clothed. You fell to the shower floor and rocked back and forth. Hwiyoung followed you and cried harder when he saw you.

“I’m so sorry, y/n,” he sat on the toilet, “I’m so so sorry.” You sat in the shower for an hour before asking Hwiyoung if he could get you dry clothes. He came back with one of Taeyang’s shirts and a pair of sweats and set them on the counter. You shut the door behind him as he left the bathroom and changed out of your wet clothing, throwing them into the trash. When you pulled the shirt over your head, you held it up to your face and breathed in the smell of Taeyang. You left the bathroom and went straight to Hwiyoung, hugging him and crying into his chest.

“I can’t believe he’s gone.” You choked between sobs. Hwiyoung hugged you back and silently cried with you, “It hurts so bad.”

One month later

You didn’t leave the apartment until the funeral and Hwiyoung stopped by a few times a week to try and get you to eat and to make sure you were okay. You didn’t eat much and you cried a lot and you knew the pain of losing him would never really go away.

On the day of the funeral, you got a lot of “I’m sorry for your loss” and “He’ll always be watching over you” but you just nodded every time someone spoke to you. Hwiyoung stayed with you the entire time. He also did a eulogy for the both of you because he knew what would happen if you spoke of him.

The funeral was an open casket and everyone took turns going up to him and saying their goodbyes. You saw a lot of people crying even if they probably didn’t know him that well. The whole thing was surreal to you and you didn’t cry that whole day till after the burial service when it sunk in, yet again, that he was gone. You realized that it’s not just a nightmare and that it’s real. You weren’t ever going to wake up because it was happening in reality and not in your head which made it so much more painful.