#taciteaneremite

LITTLE: CO O O O LT

LITTLE: 4R3 YOU H3R3

COLT: Yeah, I'm here. -boofs from his music room. not that he's making much music at the moment, he's mostly been writing lyrics. or attempting to. the writer's block comes and goes way too easily, so it makes progress one hell of a time.-

LITTLE: -flops backwards on the floor.  SHE FINISHED HER STRETCHES.-

LITTLE: p1ck m3 up plz LITTLE: 4lso 1m supos3d to do som3 l3g l1fts or WH4T3VZ but 1m bor3d w1th s1t1ng h3r3 m4k1ng my dumb br4nch3s mov3 so o o o 

LITTLE: 1 w4n4 w4lk som3wh3r3 1nst34d 

LITTLE: w4n4 com3 >:?

COLT: -ears perk. walk?????? that might help him get those creative juices FLOWING, so he puts his stuff away and lumbers over to her, scooping her up off the floor.- Of course. 

COLT: Where do you wanna go?

LITTLE: HUP 

LITTLE: 1 duno o o 

LITTLE: out som3wh3r3 >:T 

LITTLE: 1 got4 do 4t l34st 4 m1l3 so uh 

LITTLE: m4yb3 w3 c4n go to town 4nd buy som3th1ng 

LITTLE: l1k3 4 p13 or thr3 hundr3d sk1tl3s

LITTLE: ... do you th1nk 4nyon3 3v3r m4d3 sk1tl3 p13

COLT: Hmm. I don't think anybody's been bold enough to even consider it. :P 

COLT: -carries her out the door, but he sets her back down once they're outside and offers his hand instead.-

LITTLE: COW4RDS 

LITTLE: do you w4n4 m4k3 h1story 

LITTLE: -GRABS HIS WHOLE ARM. its hers now.-

COLT: -TRAPPED. as if he minds. he just curls it around hers and starts to mosey.- I'd love to. 

COLT: Assumin' we don't botch it all up... I'm none too certain how to go about bakin' somethin' with skittles in it.

LITTLE: m4yb3 you m4sh 1t up 

LITTLE: w1th 4 mort4r 4nd p1stl3 LITTLE: or 4 mort4r 4nd GUN 

LITTLE: or just dump 1t 4l 1n 4 p13 crust 4nd 34t 1t w1th 4 spon

LITTLE: you got4 b3 1nov4t1v3

COLT: ... 

COLT: That don't sound too terribly appetizin'. But live and learn, I suppose. -it's just fun to cook, anyways. and it's hard to be wasteful when they're both garbage disposals.-

LITTLE: your3 r1ght 

LITTLE: gumy b34rs would work b3t3r 

LITTLE: th3yd m3lt >:O 

LITTLE: your3 so sm4rt

COLT: -snorts about that.- I'm always happy to help, darlin'. -wanders on down the road headed for town.- 

COLT: How are your legs feelin'? -fusses already-

LITTLE: 1 DUNNO  TH3Y SUCK ?

LITTLE: 1 m34n 

LITTLE: 1t 4lw4ys 1s sort4 sor3 4 l1tl3 >:T 

LITTLE: but 1ts g3t1ng b3t3r 4nd th4ts supos3d to h4p3n 

LITTLE: 1tl go 4w4y 3v3ntu4ly

COLT: Well, good... So long as it's gettin' easier. 

COLT: But if you get too tired or somethin' after we've walked a mile... Let me know... -though, she probably would anyway because why pass up an opportunity to be carried? still, he fusses.-

LITTLE: 1l just go l1mp 1n your 4rms

LITTLE: >;o

COLT: Oh, yeah. That'll work just fine. -grins a pointy grin and proceeds on down the road. he isn't really counting how long a mile actually is, but they do make it to the nearest little town from their house after a mile, give or take.- 

COLT: -there's a little locally owned grocery store that colt usually gets their groceries from. the owners are nice... they don't even comment on his ears and tail. when they're inside, he immediately gets distracted by... well, everything. his attention spans seems to have gotten much worse since becoming part dog. not to mention all his heightened senses. he just... :eyes: and sniffs everything.- 

COLT: ... Uhhh. Why don't we pick up some more groceries while we're here? -lil tail wag while grabbing a cart.-

LITTLE: ...h3y funy thought 

 LITTLE: do you r3m3mb3r how much 1 m4d3 fun of your roundy hum4n f4ngs th4t 4r3nt th4t po1nty

LITTLE: 1 gu3s w3 m1ght 4s w3l >:V

COLT: -gives her ANOTHER pointy grin.- Heheh. Can't make fun of me no more... 

COLT: -scoots the cart towards her.- Wanna hitch a ride?

LITTLE: Y3S ? ? ?

LITTLE: -CLAMBERS IN-

LITTLE: -sits.-

COLT: -she fits...- 

COLT: -pushes her along.- Go on and grab anythin' that looks appealin'.

LITTLE: -she's gonna use her stick to push things in as they pass- 

LITTLE: ok4 4 4 4 4 4y 

SNARLS: -pads over to watch this, sniffing at this baby and then flops down next to them. tummy time for snarls too.- 

COLT: -he follows, but takes a seat in his recliner as he watches them.-

SOFIA: -blinks quickly when snarls sniffs at her and stares at him with her tiny wobbly head- 

FINN: -looks up at colt and down at snarls and back up at him- hey

COLT: Hey. How's tummy time goin'? -smiles a little down at baby.- 

SNARLS: -licks her hair.-

SOFIA: -her hair looks even crazier than usual THANKS TO SNARLS- ah... FINN: good FINN: she's still not all that crazy about it but she's getting stronger

COLT: You'll like it better when you can start crawlin' around, Sofie. -nudges snarls with his foot. don't lick her...-

FINN: -laughs a little- he's right 

FINN: soon i'm going to have to chase you around the house

COLT: That'll be fun. 

COLT: -starts petting snarls with his foot and pauses for a moment.- What did you get up to the other day? When you were out?

FINN: -thinks about it and isn't QUITE sure what to say- visiting skaia

COLT: Oh yeah? -he isn't TRYING to be obvious about his skepticism but much like joel, his judginess always shines thru.-

FINN: why are you saying it like that

COLT: Like what?

FINN: the way you're saying it

COLT: I dunno what you're talkin' about.

FINN: you have to know

COLT: I didn't say anythin' any sorta way... 

COLT: ... I just think maybe you're skimpin' on the details for some reason.

FINN: why would i do that -staring at Sofia-

COLT: -LOOKS INTO THE CAMERA- Well sometimes you do it when you're tryin' to hide somethin'. 

COLT: ... Not that it's any of my business.

FINN: -quiets noticeably-

COLT: -whoop there it is- 

COLT: Mmrhh...

FINN: you're going to get mad at me

COLT: Am I?

FINN: yes

COLT: -BIG DOG SIGHS- What happened?

FINN: it's what i wanted to do

COLT: What's that supposed to mean?

FINN: i don't want to feel bad about it

COLT: Why are you assumin' I'm gonna make you feel bad about it??

FINN: because i know you 

FINN: and you're going to be disappointed

COLT: -frowns and looks off.- 

COLT: Fine. Then don't tell me.

FINN: -well he can't deal with that either- i went to see emilet

COLT: -mmmmm. conceal, don't feel.- Yeah? So?

FINN: -frowns- how is that your reaction

COLT: Cuz it ain't a big deal. -HUFFS. obviously he is annoyed about this, if only because there are implications when finn wants to hide that he hung out with emilet.-

FINN: you don't look like it isn't a big deal 

FINN: you look irritated

COLT: Because you're actin' like-- Like I'm always lookin' down on you or somethin'.

FINN: you're saying you're okay with me seeing emilet

COLT: It doesn't matter how I feel about that.

FINN: yeah it does

COLT: No, it doesn't. -grumps-

FINN: yeah it does because you act like this 

FINN: and i feel like i'm 

FINN: -sighs- whatever it doesn't matter 

SOFIA: -gurgles-

COLT: I only act like this when I'm worried, alright? Worried because I don't... -sighs- I'm not disappointed in you. 

COLT: I just don't trust him.

FINN: why 

FINN: what are your reasons for it now

COLT: I never liked the way he makes you act. 

COLT: And you gettin' all defensive sure ain't puttin' my mind at ease.

FINN: how does he make me act

COLT: -frowns- Like... 

COLT: You get anxious. You get... Paranoid. 

COLT: I don't know. You just act different and you don't seem happy. 

COLT: But if I'm wrong then I'm wrong. 

COLT: If it goes somewhere, maybe it'll be different this time. 

COLT: ... 

COLT: I just hope no one else in my family gets caught up in it again. -whoops-

FINN: -he swallows, still and silent for a moment- i'm 

FINN: not that person anymore 

FINN: -at his last statement he looks over at him- what do you mean

FINN: -he pauses, realizing- you just 

FINN: -and he doesn't finish his sentence-

COLT: -he just goes quiet after that, looking away and holding back emotions he didn't expect to deal with now, including a lot of his own personal guilt.-

FINN: -he's just looking at a confused sofia instead of colt, and his eyes are watering- i thought 

FINN: i'm not a 

FINN: -there's a lot going on in his head right now-

COLT: No, I know you're not-- I just... 

COLT: ... I'm sorry.

FINN: -he opens his mouth like he's going to say something but he doesn't. he just sits there.-

COLT: ... I just don't want anybody gettin' caught up in somethin' that's gonna get them hurt. 

COLT: I'm not sayin'... That's anyone's fault... It just happens sometimes... 

COLT: And I ain't exactly expectin' things to go awry, I just... I dunno. -naturally he's misty eyed at this point.-

FINN: you still think i could hurt someone important to you

COLT: ... 

COLT: It's... 

COLT: It's not like that. I shouldn't have said that.

FINN: then what's it like

COLT: I'm just worried about you! 

COLT: You've changed so much for the better... I know that. I believe in the best in you... 

COLT: But that don't mean outside factors can't hinder you. I don't... I haven't hung out with Emilet in years. I don't know him anymore. 

COLT: I'm protective of you... I'm protective of my family. Last time y'all were all involved things just weren't... They weren't great. That's all I know. 

COLT: I'm just scared.

FINN: -it breaks his heart to hear colt say all that, and it makes him doubt almost everything he's feeling- i don't want to scare or worry you or anything

COLT: -sighs, wiping at his eyes- Of course you don't... 

COLT: And I don't want to stop you from doin' somethin' that might make you happy... 

COLT: But that's just how I feel.

FINN: -scoops Sofia up into his arms but remains where he is- one chance 

FINN: give him one more chance

COLT: ... 

COLT: Alright.

FINN: we're all so different now

FINN: if people can give me another chance i want him to have one too

COLT: -he just nods slowly, avoiding looking at him.-

FINN: - he exhales slowly- you're so important to me i 

FINN: i hope you know that i'd still do anything for you

COLT: ... I know, Finn.

FINN: i don't know what the right thing is anymore 

FINN: maybe i should know 

FINN: i'm sorry for everything

COLT: ... I know you'll get it figured out. Just... take your time, alright?

FINN: -he nods in agreement- okay 

COLT: -since it's around dinner time, it occurs to colt that he hasn't seen much of finn for the latter part of the day, even though he knows he's home. he goes to seek him out, partially to invite him to eat, but also because he knows finn's patterns well enough to guess something might be bothering him.- 

COLT: -he peeks into sofia's room first when he walks down the hall and hears her distant fussing. finn doesn't look so good and he frowns, shuffling inside to take a seat with them.- Hey... What's goin' on?

FINN: -he glances up when he sees colt at the door and then quickly looks down again- it's FINN: documented 

SOFIA: -she's just not happy right now because being a baby is hard and she's tired-

COLT: -he understands, sofie...- What is?

FINN: all the reasons i should be embarrassed of myself 

FINN: all the stupid shit i do 

FINN: all the time 

FINN: what am i doing ever 

FINN: why don't i stop 

FINN: why can't i just 

FINN: not 

FINN: -he chokes a little-

COLT: .. Finn... -works an arm around him, anchoring finn to something warm and tangible and real.- 

COLT: Can you tell me what happened?

FINN: -shakes his head- you should hate me too

COLT: Well... I don't. Cuz I don't only see you for your mistakes, or any other lil human quirks of yours. 

COLT: Even if I did think you do dumb, embarrassin' things all the time, which I don't... I'd still love you. Can't convince me otherwise.

FINN: maybe you're just 

FINN: maybe you're confused 

FINN: maybe you should listen to your siblings

FINN: just don't 

FINN: -moves his arm- maybe i brainwashed you somehow and they see the truth and we don't

COLT: -blinks, surprised when finn tries to move him away.- No... 

COLT: It don't work that way. 

COLT: There's no "truth" here... You're just you, Finn. Some people see a problem with that, but they ain't everyone. 

COLT: Don't let them convince you that you outta see a problem with it too...

FINN: i shouldn't be 

FINN: it's obvious 

FINN: i'm so stupid i'm

COLT: -reaches for him again, trying to tilt his head towards him with his fingers.- Finn... Listen to me. 

COLT: Those thoughts running through your head right now are tryin' to convince you of a reality that just ain't true... 

COLT: Just take a breath right now, alright? Focus on breathin' for a minute.

FINN: -he's hyperventilating, and all he can think about is how he can't tend to Sofia at all right now and how terrible that is- 

FINN: -looks at colt helplessly-

COLT: -holds his face in his hands, demonstrating a few deep breaths.- Just watch me... Focus on that, and take breaths with me. You don't gotta think about anythin' else.

FINN: -he tries to breathe with him, but it's hard- s 

FINN: w-watch 

FINN: s so

COLT: -strokes his thumbs over his cheeks, nodding encouragingly.- It's ok... You'll be ok. Just let it pass.

FINN: -stares at him. trying so hard to focus on colt and not on what's going on in his head- sofia

COLT: Sofia's fine... Here. Hold on. -let's go of him so he can go scoop up the baby, shooshing her and rocking her to try and ease her fussing.-

SOFIA: -cries but seems to calm a little at colt's efforts- 

FINN: i'm sorry

COLT: You're alright... You're both alright. See? 

COLT: She's just a lil fussy is all.

FINN: -nods a little and watches them both, trying to take deep breaths-

COLT: -he smiles a little back at him, and after a moment he speaks up.- Do you wanna hold her again?

FINN: should i

COLT: Sure. It's no problem. -offers her. hold ur baby... it's good for the soul.-

FINN: -takes sofia back into his arms shakily and just looks down at her- thanks 

FINN: fuck

COLT: -rests his paw-- hand on finn's shoulder again to help keep him steady.- It's no problem. -looks down at the baby to see how she's doing too.-

FINN: -his breathing has calmed down a lot--there are still intermittent moments where his breath catches- 

SOFIA: -puts her tiny hand in her mouth and whimpers a little-

COLT: -smiles at her and wiggles his doggy ears to try to make her smile. he's just gonna keep quiet until finn has calmed down more.-

SOFIA: -she's distracted by colt and seems to calm down- 

FINN: -rocks her a little- you know i really hope she's not like me

COLT: -his expression falls a little.- I know what you mean...

FINN: she has a chance of being alright 

FINN: i kind of wish i knew what her parents were like

COLT: Well... You're her parent now. 

COLT: Whatever she might go through in life... She'll always have someone who understands. -pats his shoulder. that's you, buddy.-

FINN: yeah i guess you're right 

FINN: -he smiles a little and kisses sofia's forehead- besos

COLT: -rip... that's so cute, his heart swells.- Y'all are adorable. Heh.

FINN: haha FINN: she's fully responsible

COLT: For the most part. -I am not a homosexual clearly.-

FINN: -BUT IM CUTE AS HELL.- 

SOFIA: -she's asleep soon enough after yawning- 

FINN: you really think i can do it

COLT: Of course I do... I've always believed in you.

FINN: yeah 

FINN: yeah you have 

FINN: -pauses- my parents just seemed so good at it you know 

FINN: like they never doubted themselves

COLT: Yeah... Your mom especially. She's always had a lot of confidence... -finn's mom.... :eyes: :sweat_drops:- 

COLT: But I think they might've struggled with a lot more than you knew. There was a lot goin' on when we were kids...

FINN: -STOP THINKING ABOUT MY MOM LIKE THAT!!!!!!- 

FINN: yeah i guess i don't realize all they had to go through

COLT: -LISTEN FINN AFTER YOU SLEEPING WITH THREE OF HIS FAMILY MEMBERS HE THINKS HE'S ALLOWED TO THINK YOUR MOM IS PRETTY- 

COLT: I think it's probably difficult to notice when you're young. 

COLT: Or... you're just more understandin'... When you parents have quirks, but they still treat you with a lot of love.

FINN: -NO FAIR!!!!- yeah i guess that makes more sense 

FINN: i don't know if i could ever look at my parents in a bad light 

FINN: they did their best

COLT: That's right... And so are you. -gives him another shoulder pat-

FINN: would you ever want to be a dad

COLT: Huh? -he blushes...- Well, maybe...

FINN: you would be so good at it

COLT: -pushes his fingertips together bashfully.- You think so?

FINN: i mean yeah 

 FINN: based on how you always took care of me

COLT: -grins lopsided and snickers a little about that, but in an embarrassed kind of way.- I guess you've got a point. 

COLT: I do like kids. I dunno how Lil would feel about it though.

FINN: yeah i guess she does have to be on board 

FINN: if i was still with quinne i have no idea if i would even have sofia 

FINN: less chance of making an impulsive decision when you're dragging someone else into it

COLT: It helps... 'Cept I think in this relationship, she'd be the one more likely to make an impulsive decision like that. :P

FINN: -wakes up at the sound of sofia but jace is completely on top of him and a bunch of dead weight. it suddenly hits him that if he doesn't get sofia right away, colt will, and that would be...not good. so he's attempting to peel jace off of him WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT-

JACE: -ZZZZZZZ. he hasn't slept this peacefully in a long time. he's not going anywhere. he's probably also clinging a little. or a lot.- 

COLT: -it's true, colt is up and at 'em in no time, but as he trots downstairs he notices some... strange signs. abandoned bowls of snack foods and a movie menu playing on loop. he squints... it isn't until he sees what appears to be jace's boots on the floor by the couch that he pieces it all together. AW HECK NAH. - 

COLT: -fuming JUST a little, but unable to do anything about it because he has a baby to attend to first. it's okay sofia, uncle colt is here to snuggle you and go get you some breakfast. don't mind him if he snuffles your baby hair a little during the process. she smells good...-

SOFIA: -she ALWAYS smells good. she's just flopped against colt's chest and whining. she knows he'll take care of her- 

FINN: jace -he hears sofia quiet and realizes that colt must have her and there's a certain kind of panc in his eyes as he tries to UN-CLING JACE-

COLT: -GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT. just kidding, he might be turning into a monster boy but he wouldn't eat sofia. he loves her too  much.- There there... -heats up a bottle, readjusting her in his big arms so he can feed her when it's ready. he does this, but keeps glancing at finn's room... WAITING for him to show his face.- 

JACE: Mmhh? -cracks eyes open, staring blearily at the warm body he's clinging to. that isn't normal. suddenly he remembers what happened and snaps awake.- Oh.......... -detaches when he sees how panicked finn is.-

SOFIA: -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. she keeps whining until she can actually start drinking the bottle, and then her crying immediately stops and though her cheeks are covered in tears, she's much more content- 

FINN: sorry it's just sofia -kisses jace's head so it's not too abrupt and he gets up to put his abandoned sweatpants on- i'll be back just FINN: hold on FINN: -he BUSTS OUT THE DOOR-

JACE: Okay.... -sits up and watches him go, processing everything again. ITS ALL STARTING TO SINK IN.- 

COLT: -standing in the kitchen SQUINTING at finn.-

FINN: -finn looks disheveled- oh hi 

FINN: i was uh 

FINN: gonna get her

COLT: I've got it handled. -colt looks DISPLEASED.- 

COLT: You musta been sleepin' pretty heavy.

FINN: yeah just a -DONT LOOK AT HIM LIKE THAT- just a little i guess

COLT: Did you have someone over last night? -glances at the living room.-

FINN: -looks back at the living room- oh 

FINN: well jace was sneaking around the house late and i just 

FINN: let him come in and thought it wouldn't be a good idea for him to keep exploring in the dark 

FINN: so i let him have my bed

COLT: -he just stares at him, clearly not buying this story.- Finn.

FINN: -HE CANT STARE BACK AT THOSE EYES- yeah

COLT: -THESE BIG OL' EYES. they judge.- I know that ain't the whole story.

FINN: -just kind of looks guilty-

COLT: You know I don't wanna tell anybody how to live their lives. 

COLT: ... But this is my house. And that's my baby brother. And if you're gettin' up to somethin' but you don't wanna own up to it, then I think you already know you're crossin' some boundaries there. -frowns, angry, but mostly just disappointed...-

SOFIA: -she's just so happy about eating honestly- 

FINN: -hangs his head a little- i just -he sighs-

FINN: it was fine at first just normal and then like

FINN: uh

FINN: he said he had feelings for me and i basically told him i didn't feel the same way but he thought it was because i saw him as a baby but 

FINN: i was telling him i didn't see him like a baby and then he was still upset so i told him he was attractive because well he is your whole family is but that's not the point

FINN: and he just wanted to 

FINN: you know 

FINN: regardless 

FINN: so i said ok

COLT: -LOOKS INTO THE CAMERA ABOUT HIS WHOLE FAMILY BEING ATTRACTIVE-

FINN: -I AM SORRY IT'S TRUE-

COLT: -finn he's gonna put you in the ground-

FINN: -oh- 

FINN: -uh oh-

COLT: Why would you-- 

COLT: Don't you think that might send some mixed messages??? 

COLT: Listen... Jace ain't like Citrin or Ryan, alright? He's sensitive and-- -SIGHS. he can't believe jace instigated this, and yet somehow he can. clearly he wasn't thinking this through either... THAT BOY AINT RIGHT.-

COLT: I just hope you know there's likely gonna be consequences. -LIKE ME PUTTING YOU IN THE GROUND-

SOFIA: -okay she's done. she turns her head away. NO MORE PLEASE. she whines about it- 

FINN: -he's still hanging his head- i'm sorry 

FINN: i should have 

FINN: thought it through 

FINN: instead of just thinking he knew what he was getting into

COLT: -looks down at sofia and sets her bottle aside. burping time. he's already got a cloth ready to prop her up against. pats the sweet baby.- 

COLT: Yeah, well... Reckon I oughta have a chat with him too. -eyeballs finn's room again.-

FINN: do you have to have a chat with him 

SOFIA: -making noises over here while the burp attempt is made-

COLT: -he's proud of her. she's good at making noise.- 

COLT: Yes.

FINN: what are you going to say

COLT: -that finn is a ho.- I'm just gonna make sure he knows what he's gotten himself into... Unless you want to talk to him to clarify. -EYEBALLS some more.-

FINN: -pauses- the look you're giving me is confusing because i don't know if you actually want me to or you want me to stay away

COLT: Guess I don't know either. 

COLT: But I know it's best to take responsibility for yourself.

FINN: -he sighs- i can do it

COLT: -grunt.- Alright. Good.

FINN: do you want me to do it now 

SOFIA: -she burps-

COLT: -frowns some more- That'd be ideal. 

COLT: -good girl, sofia. cleans off her face and goes to toss this towel, leaving finn to his own devices.-

SOFIA: -do I get to hang out with you uncle colt-

COLT: -of course cutie pie...-

SOFIA: -its a good day-

FINN: -meanwhile, Finn walks back into his room to see if Jace is still awake-

JACE: -currrently in the process of climbing out the window without his shoes.- O_O

FINN: hey wait

JACE: Hhhh... Okay... -sits on the window sill-

FINN: -gestures at him- you can sit somewhere inside

JACE: ... Its alright. I like the window sill. -even though it's not super comfortable on the ass.-

FINN: oh okay uh -scratches the back of his head- colt knows

JACE: Oh......... I figured as much..... 

JACE: Is he mad?

FINN: at me yeah 

FINN: he doesn't think we are on the same page so 

FINN: i should probably make sure that's a thing

JACE: -frowns down at the floor.- So... he thinks I dont understand that this is just... 

JACE: Um. You know... a fling.

FINN: -nods-

JACE:  -sighs- I do know that. 

JACE: ... I guess it makes me kind of sad. 

JACE: -pauses, really thinking about all this. as best he can with his head swimming and his heart still racing from anxiety.- But I had fun? 

JACE: That probably counts for something. 

JACE: I dont really... want to regret it... Even if its not permanent...

FINN: -his expression softens- yeah me too 

FINN: i really don't want to hurt you

JACE: Oh, yeah.... Um... Ill be okay. 

JACE: This is way more than I ever could have expected so Im happy about that. -manages a little smile-

FINN: -smiles back- well just so you know if you ever feel bad about it it's okay to talk about it 

FINN: i've had flings that made me feel pretty sad

JACE: -swings his feet as he looks to the floor again, contemplating something... then he slides out from the window sill.- 

JACE: Is it okay if I kiss you one more time?

FINN: -he pauses and nods- yeah

JACE: -shuffles in closer, shyly... before he places his hands on finn's cheeks and leans in for one last slow, soft kiss.-

FINN: -kisses him in return for as long as Jace wants to. Consider this one for the road-

JACE: -melts... he really doesn't want to let go when it feels so nice, but alas... he draws away after a moment, gazing up at him with his big eyes.- 

JACE: ... Did you see my boots out there? -points at finn's door. he's still just in his socks...-

FINN: yeah you left them 

FINN: i think that tipped colt off just a little 

FINN: you don't have to leave i can sleep on the couch i don't mind

JACE: No, its okay!! I should go... Now that Im up I wont be able to fall asleep. 

JACE: -shuffles over to the door- Ill just... Umm. -opens it carefully.- 

JACE: Ill see you! -YOUTH ROLLS OUT THE DOOR. snatches up his boots, stumbles into them, and sprints out the front door.- 

COLT: -squints after him from sofia's room. INCREDIBLE.-

SOFIA: -look at me i'm cute- 

FINN: -he just kind of waves and goes in to join colt-

FINN: so

FINN: same page

COLT: ... Good. 

COLT: -offers sofia to him.- I think she wants you.

FINN: -takes her in his arms and kisses her head- 

FINN: colt i'm 

FINN: i'm sorry

COLT: -gives him a bit of the silent treatment, but it's mostly because he doesn't know what to say. there's too much on his mind, and all his weird compulsions and sensory overloads aren't helping him feel any more at ease. maybe he's being unfair, or hypocritical... or maybe joel's just right about them. they're all just a bunch of idiots prone to bad decisions and they should feel bad for it.- 

COLT: ... Reckon it don't make much difference. 

COLT: Jace can make his own decisions.

FINN: -he just feels really guilty. and pathetic. and like the worst person ever. maybe joel was right, he shouldn't have a kid. why did he have sofia in the first place?- i'm still sorry

COLT: Ok, I get it. -says sharply, but he's starting to look upset.-

FINN: -he just looks down and says nothing. HE FUCKED UP. HE REALLY FUCKED UP-

COLT: -sniffles where he sits, falling quiet again and feeling very stuck and confused.-

SOFIA: -yells momentarily just because she can.- 

FINN: -shhhh baby. he sits there as well, just holding sofia and staying quite and he might actually BE SNIFFLING TOO?-

COLT: -glances at sofia when she scream... then up at finn because they're both sniffling babies.- 

COLT: I'm not... 

COLT: I'm not really mad at you... I am disappointed but... 

COLT: Mostly I'm just upset about everythin' happenin' lately. 

COLT: And I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it.

FINN: i don't like to disappoint you

COLT: ... It's not like it's the end of the world. 

COLT: I'm not gonna snub you for it or nothin'.

FINN: i don't want to make your life worse 

FINN: because i know it's already hard

COLT: My life is fine. 

COLT: My life is great, in fact? I don't got much to complain about. 

COLT: I'm happy. -sighs- Even if I'm havin' a hard time right now.

FINN: -wipes his eyes- but it's been hard lately 

 FINN: i know that

COLT: Well, it ain't all about me. -starts to get up-

FINN: -stays sitting and watches him. all he can do is wait it out, because it seems like he can't fix this. the tears don't stop-

COLT: -he just needs some time to calm down... he really can't stay upset about all this -- and he definitely doesn't want to.-

[06:45] TE: I thought you might wanna know that I'm not plannin' on leavin' my room much today, so if you're plannin' any ambushes, you might wanna save 'em for someone else.

[06:47] PH: wh4 4 4 4 4 4t

[06:47] PH: th4t sounds bor1ng 4nd l4m3 >:o

[06:47] PH: why 4r3 you b31ng 4 l1ttl3 s34sh3l cr4b

[06:49] TE: There's a lotta hogwash goin' on lately that I'm tired of dealin' with.

[06:49] TE: So I'm stayin' right where I am.

[06:50] PH: 4r3 you c4l1ng m3 4 cl34n p1g

[06:50] PH: 1 4m so m4d r1ght now

[06:50] PH: 1m gon4 f1nd 4 w4y to br34k 1nto your rom

[06:52] TE: I wasn't referrin' to you.

[06:52] TE: But if you were gonna use that as an excuse to uh

[06:52] TE: Invade my personal space.

[06:52] TE: Then I ain't in any position to stop you.

[06:52] TE: In fact I might even take that back and say yeah I was callin' you a clean pig. What of it?

[06:52] PH: >:O

[06:52] PH: wh4t k1nd of p1g

[06:53] TE: A miniature pig.

[06:54] TE: Cuz you're little.

[06:56] PH: WH4T NO THOS3 DONT 3V3N H4V3 TUSKS

[06:56] PH: so rud3

[06:56] PH: r4ndom qu3st1on but do you h4v3 4 v3nt 1n your rom

[06:58] TE: Um. Yeah.

[06:58] PH: >:)

[07:00] TE: You could just use the door.

[07:00] PH: -russlin' up in them there vents-

[07:00] PH: nop

[07:01] TE: ... *THERE SHE IS* What's so appealin' about vent crawlin' that makes everybody do it so much?

[07:01] TE: The only motivation I can wager is bein' a creep who wants to spy on people. *sorry durgah*

[07:01] PH: -she busts through the grate and LITERALLY FALLS ON HIM-

[07:02] PH: B3C4US3 1 C4N G3T YOU

[07:02] TE: *SQUISHED. this is normal by now.*

[07:02] TE: Hrk.

[07:02] TE: You can get me from the door, too. Not like I ain't easy prey.

[07:03] PH: TH1S 1S MOR3 3F3CT1V3

[07:03] PH: -she sidles up to SIT ON HIM AGAIN, grinning-

[07:03] PH: h41

[07:06] TE: Howdy. *stares up at her*

[07:06] TE: ... Can't do much entertainin' with you sittin' on me like that.

[07:07] PH: wh4t k1nd4 3nt3rt41n1ng >:o

[07:08] TE: The kinda entertainin' a host is supposed to do when he has a guest?

[07:08] TE: Like... Offer you a beverage... *he's blanking on what else an excellent host may do*

[07:10] PH: how 4bout you t3l m4 4bout th3 p1g13s

[07:10] PH: -she climbs off of him, looking for something to scoot onto, rather than stand-

[07:12] TE: *there's his cluttered bed, a couch, and some bean bags, or the whole floor, really. aside from the bed where he's been nesting, everything is pretty clean.*

[07:12] TE: What about 'em? They're adorable.

[07:13] TE: ... Oh wait, you probably mean... *sighs as he gets up and crawls back onto his bed*

[07:13] PH: y3 1 do! -she climbs up on the bed too cause that's where HE is-

[07:13] PH: -lays on her side and poses-

[07:17] TE: *curls up against the wall with his legs to his chest and eyes her posing.*

[07:17] TE: Joel's gotten himself in a whole heap of emotional turmoil.

[07:17] TE: ... And he don't wanna talk to me about it.

[07:17] PH: 1 thought you sh4r3d br41nw4v3s or som3th1ng

[07:17] PH: tw1ns13s

[07:23] TE: Even if we did, it don't change the fact that he won't budge from thinkin' it shouldn't be a big deal.

[07:23] TE: *fidget* Or that nobody cares... Or should care?

[07:23] TE: Even though he oughta know better.

[07:24] PH: so 1 gu3s 1f h3 d1dnt t3l you you wouldnt t3l m3

[07:24] PH: shot

[07:24] PH: um

[07:24] PH: do3s 1t h4v3 4nyth1ng to do w1th h1s w31rd 4n4ny4 th1ng

[07:24] TE: ... Yeah.

[07:24] PH: 4H4

[07:24] PH: do3s 1t 4lso h4v3 to do w1th h1s brok3n f4c3

[07:25] TE: Sorta.

[07:25] TE: It's a long story.

[07:27] PH: 1 got t1m3 >:v

[07:27] PH: com3 o o o o on n n n n

[07:27] PH: b3 4 host

[07:36] TE: Alright alright.

[07:36] TE: Well, last night was our annual Monday Family Night Nancho Dinner Party, so we were all at our dad's place.

[07:37] PH: do you h4v3 4ny n4chos l3ft

[07:39] TE: No... Oh, actually. *takes out the nachos he forgot to give to joel from his sylladex and hands them to her*

[07:39] PH: PROC3D

[07:39] PH: -grabs the nanchos and stuffs them into her FACE-

[07:39] TE: Yeah, anyway...

[07:39] PH: dsgfsdjfglsdf -nancho noises-

[07:39] TE: *makes a face* ... Joel showed up with his busted nose and of course my dad Dirk was all over that like ugly on an ape. Fussin' and bein' a real pain about it.

[07:39] TE: So, Joel went off. You know how he does with his theatrical nervous ramblin's.

[07:40] TE: Explained how he humiliated Ananya by being upfront with her about... Um. Not being interested, with a major emphasis on not bein' /able/ to be interested in her. Which resulted in him gettin' decked, as we know...

[07:40] TE: He was all worked up by the end of it and had to leave dinner. I tried talkin' to him later but he kept insistin' it was nothin'... Even though he was still in a tizzy when I saw him.

[07:40] PH: oh my GOD

[07:40] PH: ok4y

[07:40] PH: -GULP CRUNCH CRUNCH-

[07:41] PH: k4f

[07:41] TE: (Do you gotta eat so loudly?)

[07:41] PH: 1 n3d dr1nks for th1s to

[07:41] TE: *SIGHS*

[07:41] TE: *breaks out a can of good old mountain dew*

[07:41] PH: y3 3 3

[07:41] PH: -grABS IT and chugs-

[07:41] PH: ok so o o

[07:42] PH: 1 h34rd most4 th4t

[07:42] PH: 1s h3 h1d1n 1n h1s hol3 to

[07:43] TE: Probably.

[07:44] TE: Dove and I are kinda conspirin' to bug him some more though.

[07:44] PH: gr34t

[07:44] PH: 1m com1ng to

[07:44] PH: ok but f1rst of 4l why not n4n4n4y4n4n4

[07:44] PH: -SNIFFS and peers at him-

[07:47] TE: ... You mean, why don't he like her?

[07:47] PH: y3 th4t

[07:48] PH: 1 m34n 1m pr3ty sur3 3v3ryon3s l1k3 o o o o 4n4ny4 o o o o o oth3rw1s3

[07:48] TE: *looks off* She is pretty cute.

[07:48] PH: S3

[07:48] PH: r1ght to my f4c3 to !

[07:48] TE: Um. You're cute, too.

[07:49] PH: wow w1th 4n um

[07:49] PH: w3l your3 4bout 4s cut3 4s . . .

[07:49] PH: 4 dog

[07:49] PH: 's

[07:49] PH: but

[07:49] PH: >:D

[07:50] TE: *now he's just thinking about wagging tails and that is actually very adorable, but they're getting off topic*

[07:50] TE: My dog butt face aside,

[07:50] TE: He's just not interested in um...

[07:50] TE: Ladies?

[07:50] PH: o o o o o o oh

[07:52] PH: wow th1s could4 b3n solv3d 1n l1k3 t3n s3conds huh

[07:54] TE: Guess so.

[07:54] TE: But he's real standoffish about the whole thing.

[07:54] TE: I don't think he... wanted people to know that about him?

[07:54] PH: -she flops onto her back-

[07:54] PH: 1s th1s som3 w31rd hum4n th1ng 1m not gon4 g3t

[07:56] TE: Yes.

[07:56] PH: TH4NK GOD

[07:56] PH: now 1 dont got4 both3r g3t1ng 1t

[07:57] TE: Well... I'm gonna talk about it anyway.

[07:58] PH: oh com3 on just l34v3 1t 4s som3 4l13n th1ng

[07:58] PH: you got4 do stuf w1th your front f4c1ng usb dongl3s

[07:58] PH: b1ng b4ng bom

[07:58] PH: tot4l s3ns3

[07:58] TE: ...

[07:58] TE: *hides his head in his hands*

[08:01] TE: *unhides after a solid minute of silence* Anyway,

[08:01] PH: >;D

[08:05] TE: I can't say I really get it neither, but... I know that there are certain er... Stereotypes associated with different human... sexualities?

[08:05] TE: And I know Joel really hates bein' labeled, or livin' up to certain expectations such as that.

[08:05] TE: So I figure he's... ashamed of bein' that way. Cuz of course he don't like girls, given our upbringin', or somethin'...

[08:05] TE: That don't make much sense to me, though. I like girls.

[08:06] PH: h4 h4 dork you l1k3 m3 -she punches his shoulder-

[08:07] TE: Ouch. *rubs his shoulder with a pout*

[08:07] PH: h3 h3 h3

[08:07] PH: ok4y so wh4ts your pl4n

[08:07] PH: w1th dov3

[08:08] TE: Um. I dunno yet.

[08:09] TE: I think she just wants to wrestle him.

[08:09] PH: 1 l1k3 th3 pl4n

[08:09] PH: 4r3 you gon4 wr3stl3 to

[08:09] TE: I don't like wrestlin'.

[08:10] PH: wh4t 1f 1 wr3stl3d you >;)

[08:11] TE: ... *he seems to actually be torn about this*

[08:13] PH: -grinning as she leans towards him-

[08:26] TE: *BLUSHES* Ah--Actually... I just remembered somethin'. I didn't just invite you over so I could whine. *QUICK ABSCOND in the form of him crawling away and then rummaging through a collection of wood carvings he has on the other side of his room*

[08:27] PH: >:?

[08:27] PH: -the quick abscond has her confused but she plops back down to tilt her head at him-

[08:34] TE: *pulls out a staff with the head of a dragon intricately carved into the top. scales and spikes and all! he returns to her side, only to bonk her gently on the head with it* I um...

[08:34] TE: Made this for you.

[08:35] TE: *he blush more*

[08:37] PH: 4CK -flails at the bonk-

[08:37] PH: w41t

[08:37] PH: l3m3 s3 th1s

[08:37] PH: -she snatches at the stick, examining it from every which way she can manage, twirling it in her hands and shifting it back and fourth, examining the intricate carving on the head.-

[08:37] PH: >:o

[08:41] TE: *wringes his hands nervously* What do you think?

[08:44] PH: 1TS

[08:44] PH: 1 m33n

[08:44] PH: m3n

[08:44] PH: m34N ! ! !

[08:44] PH: 1TS PR3TY GOD OK

[08:44] PH: -she hugs the stick and looks away-

[08:44] PH: -JEEZE-

[08:45] TE: ... *lopsided grin*

[08:45] TE: I'm glad you like it.

[08:47] PH: ! GU3S 1L US3 1T OR WH4T3V3R TH4NKS

[08:52] TE: You're welcome. *he is strangely pleased and proud of himself. what a weird feeling for him.*

[08:52] TE: *takes a seat beside her again*

[08:53] PH: -she kiiinda leans on him once he does, resting her head on his shoulder-

[08:53] PH: you n3v3r s41d you d1d th1s stuf

[08:53] PH: wh3n 1 4sk3d

[08:53] TE: ... Cuz I didn't think it was all that interestin'.

[08:54] PH: WHY NOT ? ? ?

[08:54] PH: you m4d3

[08:54] PH: 4

[08:54] PH: DR4GON

[09:00] TE: Well, yeah.

[09:00] TE: But it doesn't seem um... I dunno.

[09:00] TE: Excitin'?

[09:00] TE: Bein' able to carve things.

[09:00] PH: DR4GON

[09:00] PH: c4n you m4k3 mor3

[09:02] TE: *he's smiling again, bashfully* Sure I can.

[09:03] PH: m4k3 4 r4m

[09:03] PH: curly horns

[09:03] PH: r34ly curly

[09:03] PH: but m4k3 1t h4v3 t3th

[09:03] PH: 4nd no l3gs

[09:14] TE: ... Interestin' request.

[09:14] TE: But yeah.

[09:14] TE: I can do that.

[09:15] PH: 1 W!L B3 TH3 JUDG3 OF TH4T

[09:21] TE: Well, if you like it as much as you like this... I think I'm prolly safe. *grins and finally leans back against her, his head on hers*

[09:21] PH: ok13 god

[09:21] PH: 4t l34st your3 not tot4ly bor1ng

[09:21] PH: jo3l sp1l3d th3 oth3r b34ns tho

[09:28] TE: What other beans?

[09:29] PH: th3 b34ns 4bout your l1l shoty hoby

[09:29] PH: w1th th3 p41nt sph3r3s

[09:30] TE: Ohh.

[09:30] PH: >:D

[09:30] TE: Those beans...

[09:31] PH: 1m gon4 g3tchu

[09:32] TE: *thinks about this* ... That'll be fun, actually.

[09:32] PH: not wh3n you los3

[09:35] TE: Well... I might lose. But I don't think I will, in this case.

[09:35] PH: so conf1d3nt

[09:36] PH: 1t w1l b3 so sw3t to s3 you dr1v3n b3n34th my bot

[09:36] PH: h3 h3 h3 h3 h3 !

[09:38] TE: Don't that get borin', though? *tilts head to look down at her*

[09:38] PH: b34t1ng you

[09:38] PH: no >:p

[09:41] TE: You trolls are awful weird. *sneaks a cheek smooch*

[09:41] PH: >:O! -at the smooch-

[09:41] PH: l1k3 you 4r3nt t3n t1m3s w31rd3r

[09:42] TE: Nuh uh I'm normal.

[09:42] TE: So normal it's dull.

[09:42] PH: not compl3t3ly

[09:42] PH: you m4k3 dr4gons

[09:42] PH: dr4gons 4r3 4w3som3

[09:49] TE: ... Alright. Then I'm just mostly dull. *you win this round, little*

[09:49] PH: pf f f f f

[09:49] PH: 4lso you h4v3 M3 1n your l1f3

[09:49] PH: 4nd 1 4m so r4w 4nd r34l

[09:49] PH: your3 col3r b31ng n34r m3

[09:50] PH: 3v3n though you 4lso m4k3 m3 mor3 of 4 dork by b31ng 4round you >:/

[09:58] TE: *he snickers about this. why does it tickle him so?* That's a real double edged sword right there.

[09:58] PH: 1m r34ly g3n3rous

[09:58] PH: your3 w3lcom3

[10:02] TE: Yeah. Thanks a million. *finds himself playing with her hair a little because it's long and pretty oops*

[10:03] PH: -she putts a little at the playing, shifting herself so that she's no longer laying on his side but across his lap-

[10:03] PH: y3s

[10:03] PH: do th4t

[10:09] TE: Oh. Ok. *he blush as he continues to pet and draw his fingers between curls*

[10:09] PH: i have

[10:09] PH: brush

[10:09] PH: s3

[10:09] PH: *but with quirk))

[10:10] PH: -she holds one up- do 1t your3 god 4t th1s

[10:23] TE: ... *takes it* Um. Ok... *he's never brushed a girl's hair before?? it shouldn't be any different from playing with the hair, but for some reason this feels even more intimate. gulp! he gets the nerve to start brushing, very carefully...*

[10:23] PH: -she doesn't seem to care how well it's done, really, just the fact that it's BEING done. she's got a ton of hair tbh-

[10:26] TE: *THERE'S SO MUCH HAIR. he's afraid he's going to get lost in it, but after a while, he relaxes and falls into a rhythm with it*

[10:28] PH: -good brush slave-

[10:53] TE: *after a while of brushing, he stops to lean over her enough to look her in the eye* ... You're quiet.

[10:54] PH: -she blinks lazily up at him-

[10:54] PH: ...4 l1l

[10:54] PH: dont g3t us3d to 1t

[10:55] TE: ... Darn. *she looks so tranquil, though. it's nice.*

[10:55] TE: *leans the rest of the way to give her another quick kiss.*

[10:56] PH: *She leans up into the kiss, but still snaps her fang at him, just to keep him on her toes-

[11:05] TE: Wah! *pulls away to avoid getting bit and frowns at her. baps her nose lightly with her hairbrush*

[11:06] PH: -SHE WRINKLES HER NOSE AT THE BAP- rud3

[11:09] TE: You're the rude one.

[11:09] PH: rud3 th4t you dodg3d

[11:14] TE: Ok. That makes more sense.

[11:14] TE: You're still ruder though.

[11:14] PH: C4NT B3 T4M3D

[11:14] PH: -she steals the earlier offered kiss-

[11:25] TE: *oh ok. he is pleased by this and leans back in to press against her, thinking about what nice lips she has. this angle is a little awkward and straining on the neck, though*

[11:25] TE: Ow.

[11:27] PH: >:p

[11:27] PH: suck 1t up

[11:28] TE: Or maybe you could sit up.

SOLLUX: -he remembers the good old days of them getting their asses in the infirmary every other goddamn day. this is just a thing that happens to people that grow up, dirk, JEEZ. he's sitting there chinhanding supportively.- 

SOLLUX: -reaches out to bap Dirk's elbow while he pours cheese-

JAKE: -snoring loudly at the couch probably.-

DIRK: -IT'S NOT THE SAME, SOLLUX- 

DIRK: -cheese is now on the table- ... I expect you to clean that up. 

DIRK: With your tongue.

JAKE: -ZZZZZZ.-

SOLLUX: is that entirely necessary.

DIRK: Yes.

CITRIN: -FLIES IN AND BODYSLAMS JAKE-

SOLLUX: i think i'm g0nna pass.

DIRK: -doesn't even bat an eye at citrin-

DIRK: -this is normal-

JAKE: -HOFFS sleepily and gathers up Citrin in large arms. Continues napping.-

JAKE: -Of course its normal.-

CITRIN: oh NO. 

CITRIN: he'z got me in the... 

CITRIN: ZLEEPER HOLD. 

CITRIN: 8D -grins at other dads-

SOLLUX: -snrrrrk-

SOLLUX: ten p0ints.

SOLLUX: careful 0r he might get y0u t0... nap 0ut.

CITRIN: eheheheh! -buzzes while snuggling to jake. a nap does sound nice... just a few winks...- 

DIRK: Citrin, have you seen Joel today? 

CITRIN: -opens eyes wide again and sweats- NO??

CITRIN: in fact i don't know ANYTHING about ANYTHING joel'z been getting up to lately. -tries to squirm free- 

DIRK: -squints-

SOLLUX: ..... -sounds fake but okay. he's not gonna say anything-

CITRIN: -SHUT UP HE'S THE BEST AT LIES-

CITRIN: ARGH I'M ZTUCK HERE FOREVER!! -flops back onto jake like bleh-

CITRIN: (i'm DEAD.)

SOLLUX: mm whatcha saaaay. 

SOLLUX: guess i'm g0nna have t0 eat literally all these g0ddamn nach0s by myself.

CITRIN: what NO. -floats some nachos over to himself- 

DIRK: Hey now. 

CITRIN: ALLOW ME MY FINAL MEAL!!

SOLLUX: he has a p0int.

CITRIN: -crunches nachos without even using his hands. he loves being a psionic.- 

DIRK: -parks his butt in a seat next to sollux with a grunt- Ok fine you guys can eat. -drumming his fingers on the table instead of eating as well- ... -pulls out a wet wipe and starts cleaning up the cheese mess. AGGRESSIVELY.-

SOLLUX: -scoops up a chip and moves it toward Dirk's face-

SOLLUX: (pst.)

DIRK: -glances at him. THERE'S A CHIP IN HIS FACE.- ... 

CITRIN: -casually sticking chips up jake's nostrils-

JAKE: -starts stirring awake to the sound of munching nachos over his tum.- ...Citrin? -squints, reaching for the glasses in his front pocket.-

JAKE: ...

JAKE: Shucks.

SOLLUX: (chill dude.)

DIRK: ... -nibbles at chip until he gets to sollux's fingers. NIBBLES THOSE TOO.- 

CITRIN: oh hey. zup.

SOLLUX: hngh.

SOLLUX: -AT LEAST HE'S NOT OBSESSIVELY CLEANING THE TABLE-

CITRIN: -continuing to try and stick nachos in jake's nose-

JAKE: -NO.- Young man you will remove your touch stumps out of my nose this instant!

CITRIN: AW GEE, DAD. -rolls off the couch with his nachos now that he can get free-

CITRIN: i'm aliiiiiiive.

DIRK: -still distracting himself by nibbling on sollux- 

COLT: -arrives to this- ...

SOLLUX: -chirps distractingly. he's helping. WAIT THAT'S ANOTHER SON.- 

SOLLUX: -reclaims his hand to grab another nacho- sup.

JAKE: -cleaning off his face with a napkin, still missing his glasses. He didn't get to see the nibbling but DOES see Colt.- Colt my boy! Glad you could make it! 

JAKE: -moving himself off the couch to crush the son into a hug.-

COLT: Hrk. -he's crushed. wheeze.- Hey pop. -tries to wave at the others- 

CITRIN: HI PONY BOY. 

DIRK: -notices jake has lost his glasses and glances around for them-

JOEL: -sneaking in discreetly behind Colt. Jake has no glasses so cant see him.- 

JAKE: How have you been buddy old boy?

SOLLUX: y0u can pr0bably quit r0lling 0n the fl00r n0w juiceb0x. 

SOLLUX: 0r y0u kn0w, whatever y0u wanna d0. 

SOLLUX: -he may not see u joel but he can SMELL U-

DIRK: -OWL TURNS AT JOEL-

CITRIN: but i like being here on the floor amongzt the filth. my BREATHERN.

COLT: ... I've been alright. -glances at joel too and goes wide eyed when he sees his nose-

SOLLUX: whatever y0u wanna d0 it is.

CITRIN: -rests his bowl of nachos on his belly and lays here- zo hey joel-- WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOUR ZCHNOZ?

CITRIN: -this is a new development-

CITRIN: -he's gonna bet all his boonies that ananya did it-

JOEL: -has to freeze in place with Dirk glowering like he is and Citrin being an obnoxious shit like always. Time to return the favor.- 

JOEL: Heard your mixtape. Nough said.

CITRIN: WHATEVER BRUH MY WORK IZ FIRE.

JAKE: -fussying at Colt right now. Is his shirt tucked in? Is the collar of his jacket fixed??-

COLT: (Um...) -sighs and just LET'S IT HAPPEN.-

DIRK: What did happen? -getting up so he can commence his own fussing-

SOLLUX: -puts a nacho in his mouth. all his fussy husbands s2g....-

JOEL: God just. 

JOEL: Everyone can stop actin like they dont know what the hell happened. 

JOEL: Im FINE Dad. God damn. -of course rejects Dirk's attempt to fuss-

DIRK: Well I mean obviously we can tell that your nose is broken. 

DIRK: But how did it come to be this way, is what I'm asking. 

CITRIN: yeah JOJO.

SOLLUX: -CRUNCH-

DIRK: -sollux please he's trying to dad here-

JOEL: Is this an intervention? It is aint it. 

JAKE: -still squinting- Hold the phone. Your nose is broken son?? How???? 

JOEL: Jesus fucking christ Dad.

DIRK: We're just worried about you. 

DIRK: -sighs- And Jake, your glasses are on the side table. 

COLT: -trying to edge away from jake while he's distracted so he can get to the dinner table-

SOLLUX: -GESTURES COLT OVER while sliding a plate toward him-

COLT: -SAVE HIM, FATHER. he quickly takes a seat and starts to eat-

JAKE: -hurries to the side table and promptly crashes against it. OOPS.- 

JOEL: -trying to face palm but it's not working with a huge gauze on his face.-

JAKE: -trying to push it back into place-

CITRIN: -does jake a solid and floats the glasses onto his face-

SOLLUX: -the benny hill theme plays in his head continuously during this-

JAKE: Ah! Thank you citrin! -blinks. He can SEE.-

JOEL: -sulking towards the table to serve himself nachos. Grumps into a chair and slouches down into it.- Cant we talk about this over the food eating ritual? Or can I take this to go.

SOLLUX: dude's g0tta eat his nanch0s.

DIRK: -quiet marge noises before he goes to join them at the table- Yeah ok. Let's all sit. -goes to herd jake over to the table even though he can see now- Come on Citrin. 

CITRIN: -doesn't wanna stress dirk out more so he gets up off the floor and sits too-

JAKE: -is directed towards the dinner table- Well now weve all had our share of broken noses back in the day. Theres no need to fret! 

JAKE: Sollux for one lost both his EYES for cripes sake! 

JOEL: -moodily chomping on a jalepeno slice.-

JOEL: Yeah that makes me feel a lot better yo.

JOEL: At least I got both my eyes.

CITRIN: hey dad didn't one of your botz buzt up cb dad'z noze once? i VAGUELY recall thiz ztory being told. 

DIRK: ... -sits- Well.

SOLLUX: that's why i'm here s0ns. 

SOLLUX: t0 be the example 0f why it can always be w0rse.

SOLLUX: -CRUNCH-

CITRIN: anyway it'z pretty fun cuz juzt a few dayz ago joel waz like zparrin' and zhit with little and thingz got real intenze and BAM he got her right in the zniffer. 

CITRIN: and now look at him. almozt makez me believe in karma. 

DIRK: Joel, you broke your brother's girlfriend's nose? 

COLT: -stops eating and just looks around like ???????????????? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING-

SOLLUX: -eats nachos. this is normal-

JOEL: I did it ya hear. And I would do it again. -gdi Citrin. Quit TATTLING ON HIM.-

CITRIN: -BUT IT'S FUNNY, JOEL- 

COLT: She's fine, anyway. 

COLT: Don't want people makin' a big deal out of it. -crunches and grumbles-

JOEL: Yeah see? The man doesnt want it bein fussed over.

DIRK: Alright. -eats nachos while continuing to stare at joel- 

CITRIN: ZOOO... what elze iz new then azide from ppl getting the zhit beat out of them? which izn't ACTUALLY that new.

SOLLUX: -slurps his own cheesy fingers-

JOEL: -brings out a water bottle and chugs it at his dad- 

JAKE: Citrin that is not very nice! 

JAKE: But i will mention that SOMEONE may have swiped the very key to the engineering labs from my pant pocket? 

JAKE: Dirk we may have to watch out for that.

CITRIN: (it'z troo tho.) 

DIRK: -tilts head over at jake instead of STARING at joel- ... Who would wanna do something like that?

JAKE: I havent the faintest clue! 

JAKE: Darling your hair is about to... -fusses at Dirk's hair about to fall into some cheese-

DIRK: Oh. Thanks. -brushes back the rest of his hair like a disney princess-

JAKE: Well clearly it had to be someone who had access to my pants against my better acknowledgement!

JAKE: -surveying the children with furrowed brow-

CITRIN: -snickering- 

COLT: -dad please stop saying words-

JOEL: -staring emptily into his plate of nachos. This is his life.-

SOLLUX: B)

COLT: -DON'T- 

DIRK: ... Are you sure it didn't just fall out somewhere?

JAKE: I never reach into my pockets for anything! -appalled that dirk would think this- 

JOEL: (Who the fuck uses pockets anymore.)

SOLLUX: -THIS IS JUST HIS FACE-

DIRK: I mean, what if it fell out while you were removing them or something.

COLT: -can they go one dinner without one of them talking about removing their pants-

JAKE: Well... i wouldnt write off the possibility. -strokes his mustache- But i do think im responsible with them regardless!

DIRK: I hate to break this to you, babe. But you really aren't. 

COLT: (Did this have to be what we switched gears to?)

JOEL: -flings some nacho at Colt.-

COLT: -WAH-

COLT: -wipes cheese on him-

JOEL: Dad. 

JOEL: Colts bein a lil bitch right now. 

JAKE: Now joel! Dont use those words at the table young man. -huffs mustache in disapproval- 

JOEL: Well he is.

CITRIN: yeah joel, don't be a lil bitch about colt bein' a lil bitch. 

DIRK: How about all y'all quit being lil bitches and listen to your father? 

COLT: -gives dirk such a look-

JOEL: Is that what were doin?

SOLLUX: 0h my g0d.

DIRK: Obviously.

JAKE: -bringing a napkin over and handing it to Citrin.-

CITRIN: -this is good because of course he's covered in cheese- THANKZ.

JOEL: -He is just. So irritated right now.- Ananya socked it to me and broke my nose. 

JOEL: Cuz I publically humiliated her in front of everyone and refused to apologize for it. 

JOEL: End of story.

CITRIN: ... -dabs his face with napkin- 

DIRK: Oh.

COLT: -excalibur face-

JOEL: You wanna know more details? Okay cool. -here it comes- 

JOEL: There I was giving her the pep talk of the century tryin to understand where the hell shes got this self esteem issue. Im like okay cool. You really have things going for you and people appreciate it. Cuz shes so popular you know? 

JOEL: And then she gets it in her head somehow that Im sayin all this stuff in a romantic type sense and when Im telling her no she twists it around and turns it FURTHER into an excuse to feel bad about herself some more. 

JOEL: Like uh?????????? That is the opposite of what I was trying to DO HERE. -his fisted hand is banging down on the table.- So she leaves the conversation thinkin Im too choked up on my imaginary feelings for her to confess it out properly. 

JOEL: I cant talk to her I cant even look her in the eye the next day. To this she takes offense and starts making underhanded comments my way. You know. Friends acknowledge one another and remember they exist and shit. 

JOEL: You know what that told me? That told me this was gonna turn into a bigger fucking mess than anticipated and I kind of lost my shit. 

JOEL: I stood up and told her loud and clear as bright blue sky above I dont see her in a romantic light. And its not cuz shes not good enough or nice enough or WHATEVER THE FUCK. 

 JOEL: Its cuz Im not attracted to her. Okay. And there was no way in all of creation I ever COULD BE. So she had to go GET THE IDEA out of her head before it turned out more fucked up than it started off as.

JOEL: So there you have it Dad . You wanted to know so badly. There it is.

SOLLUX: ...

DIRK: ... 

COLT: ... 

CITRIN: ... -breaks silence by crunching a nacho-

CITRIN: -very slowly crunching...-

CITRIN: -chewing...-

JOEL: -glaring at Citrin and isnt even trying to hide it-

CITRIN: -STOPS CHEWING-

CITRIN: -gulp-

DIRK: ... Um. 

DIRK: I... 

DIRK: -HELP-

SOLLUX: -joel sure is good at publicly humiliating people these days-

SOLLUX: -he's ALMOST kind of proud-

DIRK: -FOR FUCK'S SAKE-

JAKE: -he is just FLOORED by this rant, big old green eyes wide with anxiety.- Oh... son. You got socked in the nose for all this hullabaloo???? 

JOEL: Yes Pa. -bitingly sarcastic but it'll all go over Jake's head unfortunately.- I got socked in the face for exactly this brand of hullabaloo. Arent you all so goddamn proud. 

JOEL: I deserved it is why.

DIRK: -noooo no no- Joel no matter what you do, you don't deserve to get hurt for it. 

DIRK: It's-- -sigh, running a hand over his forehead-

DIRK: -what are words-

DIRK: -lowkey freaking out about hearing that tho-

SOLLUX: -long sigh-

JOEL: Yeah I do. Im a gutless jackhole who aint got the sense to give two rubbing shits together of what other people feel like. 

JOEL: And while this was fun and great and all. I think Im gonna excuse myself. -rises from his seat-

DIRK: Don't-- ... -glances at sollux and jake, not actually sure if he SHOULD stop him or not. he doesn't really trust his own judgement here-

SOLLUX: -let him goooo, LET HIM GOOOOOO. he's just gonna get more worked up at the dinner table-

SOLLUX: -he shake his head-

JAKE: -rises up too, such a nervous wreck.- Oh jojo. You wont skip dinner will you? We might shoot a morsel your way if thats the case. And I do realize its hard for you... wont you stay? -fiddles with his napkin. HE'S WORRIED FOR YOU JOEL.- 

JOEL: Ill be fine Pa. Ill eat... later. Or somethin. -unable to meet any of their eyes right now and then just storms out the door. He gone.- 

JAKE: ... 8C

CITRIN: -nervously bites into another nacho- 

DIRK: -stares after joel, completely defeated- ... I can't believe he feels that way. -he can, actually. he just wishes he didn't.- 

COLT: -staring down at the table-

JAKE: -hand on Dirk's shoulder-

COLT: -this topic of conversation is now making HIM incredibly uncomfortable, it would seem- I... um. 

COLT: Think I'm... gonna go too...

JAKE: ...Take some scrumptions to your brother would you colt?

COLT: -nods slowly, scooping up the food as he stands- Thanks for dinner. -scurries away-