#t:drabble

"Bloody bum!" A man cried out, his hand knocking the plastic cup out of Seok's hand, the metal coins scattering around him. Just another day in Seoul.

Taking his hoodie off to reveal his buzzcut, a messy DIY project, the boy gathered the spare change for the third time today. If being homeless has taught him anything, it was to have thick skin. He had been in Seoul for a month now, trying to get by on spare change and kind employees on not throwing the merely 15 year old boy out into the mid-November rain. It was rough, every day a struggle as he tried to survive each hour, unsure where he would end up in the future if he continued like this.

The amber alert for him was still active, although the police probably gave up looking for him after 72 hours, the statistics showing there was barely a 15% chance he would be found alive. He was alive though. Somehow. His looks had changed drastically, his personality gone and the last remains of what used to be Jong-hoon on the verge of existence. He exchanged his curly black locks for a buzzcut, his slinky body shape for anorexia and his glasses for blurry vision. What else do you do if you murdered your own father then decided to run away from your foster home? Someone with more experience probably had a good answer to that.

Weeks went by and his state only got worse. It wasn't until his 16th birthday that he was mugged and threatened with a knife to his throat, the scar still visible as he tried to escape the man's grip, that he knew he had to change something.

With nothing left, the boy made one single new year's resolution: to find Change. He snuck into libraries, searching for answers, a guide, anything to help him with being homeless. What he found instead was a guide to steal someone's identity. And that was just what he did.

Kim Seok was born on June 15th, 1996 into a wealthy upper class family in Gangnam. Captain of the football team, womaniser. Unfortunately for him, he met his fate on December 2nd, 2011 in a fatal accident he caused while drunk driving. He was the only son to Kim Hwan, an entrepreneur who shortly convicted for fraud and was sentenced for 2 years. He was the perfect persona.

So the boy cleaned himself up and got himself a small amount by shoplifting, earning him just enough to buy a secondhand suit and fake ID. A fake ID that was the vital key to his survival. One of Jong-hoon's hidden talents was hacking, something he could do from just about any computer, the public library serving as his main outlet. He could find out anything about the real Kim Seok, all his transactions and memberships, his emails, accounts... all at the click of his fingers. And that's what had saved him; his intelligence and skill and of course; the idiot rich boy who decided '123titties' was a great password.

And so his days went by sweet talking staff and giving them the bullshit story about how he had lost his membership cards, the cards that gave him free meals or hotel stays. In the dead of the night Kim Seok changed to Hwang Jong-hoon, part of the underground fight club where he gained most of his money, winning half a million won a night due to everyone doubting the weak and fragile boy. The same weak and fragile boy who murdered his father with cold sweat and set it up as an armed robbery gone wrong.

Life eventually turned to shit once a bitter loser of the club decided to give an anonymous tip to the police, Seok leaving in handcuffs and spending a night at the local station, the policemen believing every last detail of his persona and fake documents, too blind to see that Kim Seok's death report had been deleted from the system, letting him go as someone had bailed him out. The boy walked out into the cool air, his mind unable to process someone had actually paid the bail, the emphasis being on the word someone since he didn't have anyone left.

As soon as he turned his head, he saw a figure leaning against the brick wall. He'll never forget the moment Hansol kicked himself off it and walked over to him. Seok still had dried blood all over his clothes, bruises scattered across his skin like watercolour drops and deep cuts across both arms. None of this had bothered Hansol. The leader of the Lost Boys simply smiled, praising his fighting skills and ability to scam. Seok was extremely frightened but intrigued at the same time, jotting down the location the older male gave him before he disappeared, leaving the boy standing there alone with a piece of paper.

Curiosity got the best of him and the boy showed up at the entrance to the Underground barely 5 hours later. He didn't know where he was, or why he was there, but as he kept checking the address to make sure he was at the right place, the boy felt like he had a chance to belong somewhere yet again. All his fears vanished as hope sparked in him. Worst case scenario: they kill him or rob him, not like he had anything left to lose.

After a long pep talk and introduction by the second in command, Minho, the boy started the initiation process almost immediately, acing it with flying colours. He could fight and disarm any opponent despite seeming small and weak. He didn't even know the gang yet, but had no trouble with the loyalty part of the process, not talking despite being tortured and even disarming the alleged "rival gang leader". The boy even showed his worth through his hacking and intelligence, the perfect deal. Seok gave his very best to be a part of the Lost Boys and it didn't take him long before he was out his official task.

Day 5

While I was out, you came and dispelled the area of your belongings, leaving only emptied spaces and neat, folded piles of shirts that you had convinced me were no longer of my possession.  An ounce of me hoped that through either absent-mindedness or pure pleasure that you’d have kept them, maybe worn them again to walk around your new place, to sleep in, to come back in… At this point, I think I’d take anything, really.

Some fragment of my brain imagined that when I had called after a couple of days that you would melt and we’d sew ourselves back together, I envisioned telling you I would change, that I am changing and that we could go back to our worry-free lives together.  I sincerely did not expect you to laugh that weak, languid chuckle of disappointment, to cut me off with a blatant refusal accompanied by a more-than-good excuse for such.  I hadn’t realized that “we” weren’t worry-free, that I was, and that you weren’t–because of me.

Now that I realize that every ounce of potential for an “us” is now impossible, I can’t help but feel the odd, displaced aura that this house now holds.  Despite being full of the bits of junk that I own, your own possessions made it lively, colorful, airy, even.  There’s no frilly laughter to fill the stale silence of the surroundings; no scent of flowers and coconut to mix with the coffee’s own after a fresh, early morning’s brew.  

I genuinely miss every single thing about you, right now.  I’ll keep trying though, I’m not letting you go without a fight.  I love you.  I really, really love you.

                                                      Love,                                      The insolent ass of a man:                                                     Mingyu

Day 13

I called again today.  I also failed to get you to receive the call, yet again.  However, this time I did not leave a message for you to delete and forget about.  I was too craven (dense, too; I always am) to utter any words through the phone.  

For the first time in, well, in general, I’m at a loss for words.  Or maybe there just aren’t enough of them to allow me to even begin explaining how much I need you by my side again.  It feels like there’s a lack of blood flowing through my chest, or like I can’t take in enough oxygen no matter how hard I try to inhale...

Which brings me to think about how the only other time I had felt this strained were in those moments in which you would lie beneath me, eyes locked with my own, our minds, our hearts, our souls stuck in such moments that we could only hope would never end.

Right now, I just really want to see your face.  I need to know you’re doing well, to hear the shrill of laughter bubbling from your throat and see the curve of your lips rising, the dimple on your chin creasing into your skin.  I want to see the eyes that always shone with life, those that gave me small glances of infatuation, the kinds of glances you didn’t really think I noticed.

But I did.  I may not have said anything, but I noted a lot of things about you.  How could I not, you really are something otherworldly… Anyway, next time please answer my calls.  So I can quit writing on this low-quality paper and hear you speak my name.  Love you.  A lot.

                                                    Love,                                          The rising desperate:                                                   Mingyu

Day 21

Sorry… For sending another call your way.  I’m surprised you haven’t changed your number yet, what with the influx of calls you get from me after so many days.  Of course you didn’t answer, but this time I knew what I wanted to say.  Or so I thought; I realize now that I only spouted a load of incoherent pleas and rambles over my feelings.

I meant it, though:  all of it.  I miss you like Hell, I wasn’t lying one bit about that, nor when I told you that I realized how terrible I was, how wrong I was, how much you sincerely mean to me.  It’s absolutely ridiculous that after twenty-one days on my own that I only now tell you this, I mean, there’s no way you’re not scoffing and cursing me out as you listen to my pitiful whining.  But, it really is much too lonely without you around; I’d become so accustomed to walking inside, the aroma of whatever you’d made for dinner wafting through me as I entered, seeing your bright, cheerful face, your arms snaking around my neck before I’d even entirely removed my shoe but my arms would wrap themselves around you instinctively anyway… I need that back.  When I walk inside now, I smell the odor of alcohol, see the abundance of cans lined up and stacked upon one another on the table tops; it’s quite honestly deplorable.

I’m sorry… I should probably try not to call in the future.  Maybe next time I’ll be blessed enough to receive a phone call from you, even if it’s unintentional.

                                                      Mingyu

Day 37

I finally managed to drag myself out of this dull apartment last night, or more accurately the guys managed to drape me in presentable attire, brush my hair and drag my unwilling body outside.  They took me to this old bar we used to hang out at, you know, the one with the panda mural on the bathroom wall.  Anyway, though, they told me it’d be a good time; I could let loose, have a few drinks outside the realm of cans of beer, and maybe drunkenly flirt and get lucky at some point.  

In the midst of downing my second drink, however, I spotted you from across the room.  You were with your friends, I recognized them from the double dates and many parties we’d attended.  They looked like they were doing well, I’m glad for that.  You, too, looked well.  I couldn’t prevent noticing that you’d changed your hairstyle a little, new color, shorter cut; I like it.  You looked absolutely stunning.

Nonetheless, there were also faces I failed to distinguish, supposing we’d never met formally.  But, only one pegged me of all of the unfamiliar faces; the one who leaned in so closely their nose nearly rubbed against your cheek, who wrapped their arm casually around you, who stared at you as if you were the only woman near him… That’s the only person who I genuinely wanted to know.  

Not for some stupid, unthinkable reason, really I’m not going to be that such man.  I just… I want to know if he’s a good guy, if he’s going to treat you better than I ever had, that he’ll treat you how I wish I could now…

I hope you’re happy, either way.  You looked it, and that’s all I could ask for.

                                                      Mingyu

Day 52

I decided that I no longer enjoy the presence of absolutely nothing, so I’ve been cleaning up, packing some things, throwing some out; I’m finally moving out… I found something of yours though, for some reason it’d been stuffed into the deepest recesses of my drawer.  Remember when you used to take photos of nearly every single place we went?  It’s the album that I found; I started looking through some of the pictures, reminisced a lot, spouted some laughs at the terrible photos of us on those horrid rollercoasters at the park, drowned in even more laughs at the photo snapped right as a bug flew near your nose.  But, often sadness follows the happy and a few tears spread on your pictures, and for that I apologize.

It’s stupid how much I miss you, right now.  And even though I probably shouldn’t, I’m keeping this album.  Maybe someday I’ll face reality and throw it out, but for now:  it’s mine.

                                                      Mingyu

Day 76

It’s been over two months since we’ve last spoken, life’s been pretty busy though, so I’ve been keeping my mind off of the factors my awful relationship skills.  I actually got a job offer awhile back, you may remember when we talking about it one night, it’s the one that’s out of the country, but only for half a year.  But maybe that would be a good change for me; I probably should get out a bit more, while I’m still young and definitely not lacking in good looks.  I don’t really have much to say in this, but I felt like it was a noteable to write something.  I suppose it’s because I’m too excited about this job.

I told Chan he could stay here while I’m gone, well, since he’s the only of the guys still living at home.  So, I should really hide the box I’m stuffing these papers into, though, so he doesn’t find it if he snoops around… Hm, safe idea.

                                                      Mingyu

Day 297

Wow.  Can you believe it, It’s been, what, almost ten months, now?  I only recently came back from abroad, and I was cleaning out my closet to fit loads of clothes back into the space when I dropped the container of endless pages filled with my pathetic rambling.  I wonder how you’ve been doing, I hope you haven’t been ill, that you’ve been full of life and contentment.  I need to continue unpacking, but with these few sentences I hope my well-wishes and good vibes reach you.

                                                      Mingyu

Day 407

I met up with Wonwoo today (as I do so often…) and he told me he saw you out a while ago.  Being him, of course he waltzed right up to you and spoke as if he had been in your company this last year.  (I swear, sometimes he can be as dense as me…)  He said he asked how you were doing, though (you two were always pretty close, I’m sorry I kind of ruined that…), he thought I’d like to know you’re doing well, that you’re practically radiating bliss to those around you.  

He also said you asked about me, and that he discreetly brought up that we should meet.  And I spoke honestly, telling him that I would love to but unfortunately I left an unsightly impression at the end.  Of course, he then called me stupid and dragged out the secrets of the incorrigible calls I made much, much too often.  But I was, I was very stupid; sorry for that.

He did say he told you about me though, about the job and all; he recalled a kind of shimmer in your eyes, like a tear bubbling to the surface, and that the corners of your lips tugged into the widest smile he’d viewed from you.  If that meant you were happy for me, proud of me, then I sincerely thank you; I just wish you could have gone through it with me...

But, you know how Wonwoo is, he doesn’t want to break anyone’s heart or to send a shred of sadness their way, so he hesitated to actually tell me about you for a while.  But, eventually, with enough taunting pleas, he said you’d gotten engaged.  That the man’s name is Seokmin and that he makes you the happiest you’ve been in a while.  

I’m glad for you, I am. So, congratulations.  I hope you can continue to live with this happiness, you more than deserve it.  

Maybe, at some point in our futures, we can meet again.  

Until then, however…

~

3:28 am.

You had glanced at the clock a moment ago, but had to turn your head and look again, squinting your eyes in order to see the luminescent numbers through your blurry vision.

It took your brain longer than usual to recognize the numbers you had read to be quite far into the night, the sunrise surely occurring in just a couple of hours. Still, you kept your eyes open, though the lids felt unnaturally heavy and your mind was working at an extremely slow pace.

But that might have also been a side effect of the alcohol.

You looked around, blinking rapidly in attempt to see your surroundings more clearly. Empty bottles of wine laid on your dark living room carpet, joined only by two half-full glasses, sitting just in front of you. Your eyes followed in that direction, finding a pair of jean-clad legs, which with more observation you found to belong to Mingyu.

The events of the night preceding this moment came flooding into your highly intoxicated mind, and you closed your eyes as if that would help you remember more vividly. Mingyu and you had had a movie night planned at your place before he had stopped at the liquor store on the way over, resulting in your decision to just get smashed in an attempt to forget all of your problems, even for just a few hours...

It may have been a bad decision, seeing as neither of you had seen the other drunk before. But you had been close for years - what was the harm in de-stressing together with a bit of alcohol?

A hand waved in front of your face, shocking you for a moment as you were pulled out of your own thoughts. As the hand dropped, escaping from your line of sight, your eyes were met with those of your drinking companion, who was still wide awake though clearly very tipsy.

“Ya fallin’ asleep on me?” Mingyu asked, his words slurring together in a way that made him sound more drunk than he probably was. You hadn’t opened that many bottles of wine...right?

You shook your head, closing your eyes before opening them wider than before. “Hmm...nah. ‘M awake.”

“Good. ‘Cause I have some’n to tell you.” he said as he began to inch closer, the fabric of his jeans scraping softly against the carpet as he adjusted himself, sitting cross-legged just centimeters in front of you.

You tilted your head slightly, waiting for Mingyu to continue.

He was silent for a long moment, only a slight smirk spread across his face. He eventually leaned closer, his cheek touching yours as his mouth hovered just next to your ear.

“I think I’m falling in love with you.”

The words took just milliseconds for your brain to process, almost faster than if you had been completely sober. A chuckle immediately burst out of your mouth, a smile curling at the edges of your lips.

Mingyu pulled away after a moment, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What? Why’re you laughing?” he asked in a soft voice, though still slurring his words together like crazy.

“You’re so drunk,’Gyu.” you replied, another, harder laugh escaping your chest.

Mingyu shook his head, his expression not faltering in the slightest. No sparkle in his eye, no twitching of the edges of his lips, no fidgeting of his ears - all signs that he would soon crack one of his many jokes. You were completely intrigued.

“I’m not kidding.” he said in a monotonous voice, closing the space between you as he scooted his lower body closer to yours, his knees knocking against your own. “I’m falling in love with you, [y/n].”

You shook your head, a smirk still playing at the corners of your lips. “Did you drink more than I poured for you? Why’re you sayin’ crazy stuff like that?”

“I’m not jus’ sayin’ it ‘cause I’m drunk,” he mumbled softly, his intoxicated voice low and raspy even as he tried to keep a gentle tone. Lacking an immediate response from you, Mingyu’s face slowly inched closer to your own, stopping just before the tips of your noses touched.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked, his eyes looking deeply into your own, waiting anxiously for a reply.

You nodded, your nose lightly bumping into his own. He didn’t hesitate in crashing his mouth against yours, his lips soft but his kiss immediately heated.

His hands were suddenly caressing the sides of your face, holding it still as if begging you to not pull away. You wouldn’t dare, though, the feeling of his lips on your own something that you had unknowingly longed for all these years.

Your fingers found their way into his hair, tangling through the mess of strands and pulling at them gently as his kiss deepened.

Mingyu pulled away breathlessly, though never taking his face more than an inch away from your own. “You sure this is okay?” he mumbled, his mouth still so close to your own that you could feel his heavy breathing against your chin.

You pressed your lips to his in reply, sitting up and adjusting so that you could bring your upper body closer to his own. His hand dropped from your face down to your shoulder, fingertips ghosting over your exposed upper arm, leaving chills on your skin.

His tongue delicately explored the inside of your mouth, teeth occasionally grazing your lower lip as he kissed you with all of the passion that he possessed. You replied with as much as you could muster in your drunken state, apparently much more delirious than he was.

Mingyu’s hands eventually wandered to your back, his fingers spreading across the expanse and applying pressure so that you would come closer to him. You ended up on his lap, straddling his waist as your fingers continued to tousle his hair.

After a while of this, his hands found their way back to your face, gently pulling away and locking eyes with you.

“We don’t have to rush.” he whispered, pressing his forehead to your own. “We have so much time.”

“This is only the beginning.” you continued for him, closing your eyes and nodding slightly in agreement with his previous words.

“That’s right.” he pressed a quick peck to your lips, before wrapping his arms tightly around you and pulling you close to his chest. You nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent and sighing deeply in content.