New identity revaluations!

I am NOT musickin!

I am however musichearted

As in... The concept of music

For a few months I've been thinking that I must be some sort of music creature? Because I knew I was neither objectkin or conceptkin

But I think my desire to create music mostly stems from my connection to it, and not because I AM it, if that makes sense?

When I say I'm connected to music I mean all kinds of music. Heavenly opera singing and gorgeous orchestras playing angelic tunes as well as "cringey" 2010 nightcore remixes or a small child playing around on a drum set.

The connection shows itself through me often tearing up while watching movies, not because of the movie itself, but because of the soundtrack

It often sends shivers down my spine. (My favorite example of this is "test drive" from how to train your dragon btw :3)

⋆⭒˚.⋆ Kinning / Relating to a character that you don’t see many people in the fandom being a fan of and haven’t seen anyone else say they even relate to is an interesting experience, they're “kind of” used as a comedic gimmick for people to laugh at, Zantetsu Tsurugi.

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And you’re probably wondering, “Why are you a Zantetsu kinnie? He’s dumb and he doesn’t have any qualities that makes him relatable in Blue Lock.” Well, that’s halfy the point.

Zantetsu is perceived as dumb, and his backstory is simple, he struggled a lot in school with his intelligence which lead to his peers bullying him. He purposefully uses bigger words in his sentences and he puts on glasses just so people can come to the conclusion that he’s an intellectual guy. (Other than me who actually has to wear glasses because of issues with my vision.)

I’m often looked down upon and noted as the odd quiet kid in high-school who unintentionally continues to embarrass myself, I’m an easy target to even get made fun of, people misunderstand me, I get shy to talk to people, I’m often distracted and forgetful to the point where I’m scared to commit to more important responsibilities like getting my drivers license because I simply think I will make either myself or someone else crash, all I do is cling to my Mother to depend on as a 17 year old girl, I’m not the best at most subjects except Art which is my favorite subject, even though I am passing those classes (Math doing slightly better than in the past due to being in classes that are designed for extra help, and I’m passing Physics with a D) I still tend to not understand things in it or it takes me a long time than others to get it, I even got called dumb once by a classmate in physics class (they didn’t say it directly to my face but it’s one of those things where someone would say an insult about someone else to their friend when they’re literally a one meter distance from the person their talking about, I never understood why people at my school do that but yeah. 😕)

And it makes me think, what the hell happened to me when I was younger to become this way? It’s like I feel so left behind from whatever the heck everyone else is on, and maybe Zantetsu just felt the same with himself.

No, I don’t have ADHD and I was never diagnosed for it, I don’t even know if I have it, and to be frank with you It’s not good to stereotype disorders when you aren’t even dealing with the same problems they have. A lot of people these days would assume someone is automatically autistic because of a social issue they have. But I do know that people with Autism often face struggles with being bullied simply because of traits they have and I find it really upsetting that they have to go through that.

I think I can somewhat feel how Zantetsu feels on a more deeper level then just his silly antics, I think I’m dumb and I can’t change it nor prove people wrong, even if I tried, it just keeps happening over and over again without end where I give more people reasons to just belittle me, the only thing that’s really interesting about you is that one talent you have which is keeping you going and making you feel like you have some worth left, for Zantetsu it’s his impressive speed on the soccer felid and for me it’s doing art.

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Some art of my favorite boy/sympath outer!sans...!!! I love him to pieces might show more of my design of him more often!! Who knows :00

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