#sxy

Pre-narrative I would say that Tianlang-jun and Su Xiyan filled fairly stereotypical demon and cultivator / magical girl roles. As head disciple for Huanhua Palace Su Xiyan is definitely a magical girl who has a full transformation and abilities! She's probably the glamourous leader of her magical girl squad, she's the one on the centre of the box art! She definitely has a lot of experience fighting the monster-of-the-week hoards of demons in classic magical girl style!

And Tianlang-jun definitely had the ability to do a full demon transformation — I think Heavenly Demons can do it innately, they don’t need transformation accessories like other demons do (LBH needed Meng Mo in the PIDW!version of the story to kickstart his ability to transform, but after his seal was broken and he ended up in the Abyss he would have been able to do that innately as well) — but only the sort of transformation expected for a Heavenly Demon. Which is, frankly, scary enough!! But everyone knows that humans can't transform like demons, and demons can't transform like humans.

My thinking is that while Tianlang-jun may be more interested in human culture than a standard demon, he still is, inherently, a demon who lives within the social constructs of demonic society and nature. He definitely has a love for life! He has things he’s passionate about! He’s even fairly trusting… but less in the “I give you my entire heart and trust you with it even if I get hurt way” and more in a “I’m the biggest, scariest predator around, so what do I really need to be scared of?” He confident and having a good time! But that isn’t quite the same thing. In this au I’m proposing that demons don't tend to form social bonds to the same degree that humans do. They are capable of different forms of love! But they tend to be more solitary and individualistic, the pack bonding is nowhere near as strong as in humans.

I'm assuming Heavenly Demons don't tend to form strong familial bonds (otherwise PIDW would absolutely be run by a dynastic Heavenly Demon reign pre-LBH, they don’t seem to stick together and we don’t really hear about the previous generation of Heavenly Demons). Tianlang-jun has some vague kinship with his sister, but there’s no real love lost, and he has passing affection for his nephew but not in a way or to a degree that a human magical conduit would likely be able to work with. It's how demons work! No one is dissatisfied with this! Though this fundamental difference definitely contributes to the human bias against demons, seeing them as entirely “heartless”.

Except then we get the unique mix of a Tianlang-jun who is interested in human culture and art… and therefore their depictions of love and romance, and a Su Xiyan who meets him and doesn’t immediately try to kill him. It starts with fascination, but eventually this absolutely becomes a degree of love and trust between both of them that they couldn’t have predicted.

Tianlang-jun’s sole instance of magical girl transformation comes from a moment when he finally convinces Su Xiyan to let him see her transformation accessory. The idea of a demon getting their hands on one (rather than it breaking with its bonded magical girl’s death) is unthinkable for both cultures, honestly, and Su Xiyan guards hers carefully any time she’s with him, vaguely wary of betrayal… until she isn’t. Tianlang-jun has no malicious intentions, this is just something incredibly personal and important to her, so he wants to understand it.

She passes it over to him.

And he transforms — not like a demon, but like a human, full of love and trust.

Which has world rocking implications for both of them. Culture mores and biases for both would mean this doesn’t even seem like it should be in the cards. And it makes Su Xiyan, who is already having some uncomfortable thoughts about her own biases against demons, realise exactly how fucked up humans may have things. This revelation and new conviction leads to a cascading chain of events that eventually ends in the Old Palace Master locking her in the Water Prison and Tianlang-jun being led into a trap. We know how this goes.

After this point he is unable to transform again, for rather obvious reasons (similar to how Shen Jiu might have had the magical potential, but had his trust broken so severely that the magical connection couldn’t be formed anymore). He trusted someone with his heart and, as far as he knows, she immediately used that moment of vulnerability to crush both him and his heart under a mountain. In the SVSSS!version of the story, he’s definitely scornful of his progeny going around using a magical girl style transformation instead of relying on his Heavenly Demon form. Truly this unruly son of his is shaming himself and all demons!

It’s an interesting exercise, exploring their relationship in reconciliation fics. To see them interact (semi-)honestly, watch them take turns filling up the chasm between them. It’s wonderful. Every fic I’ve read centred around them was a delightful read that I still think about.

However. I cannot see Tianlang-Jun, as I understand him, as Luo Binghe’s father. And not just because of the 3rd Novel’s events.

But because Binghe had hoped for something; he did have that wide-eyed wonder. He did hold one last window open, for the sake of an improbability he couldn’t quite, just yet, dismiss.

It’s what (most) orphaned and/or adopted childred do.

Though Luo Binghe had never said a word about it before, Shen Qingqiu knew that he harbored some fantasies about his birth parents. […] In fact, he’d always secretly fantasized about whether his parents might still be alive, and how well they’d treat him, and how they’d never let him suffer the mildest slight. — Vol. 3, Chapter 17: Tianlang

It is the most human thing; to want to be helped, accepted, invited by those given to you. A family is given to you. Whether you believe it an act of the divine, of nature, of coincidence, it isn’t something you fight for. It’s the first and, arguably, only thing you don’t have to fight for in life.

Depending on a multitude of factors, that can be a blessing or a curse; but where there is room for interpretation, questions left unanswered, most childred—Binghe included—will turn to their imagination, and try to make sense of it. Usually, to comfort themselves, to reassure themselves that surely, if their family could, they would have.

And, yeah. Most likely, if the Palace Master had gotten punted into the Sun like he fucking deserved, they would have. But does it matter?

In the face of a bleak reality, what comfort is a could-have-been?

He liked to call Luo Binghe “that son of mine,” but he didn’t seem to possess any concept of fatherly affection. […] Luo Binghe was in fact…someone who was unloved by even his own parents. — Vol. 3, Chapter 15: Holy Mausoleum

What use are good intentions to an abandoned child? What consolation is it, to say, They gave birth to you, when that child has seen no evidence of their care? Does it dry their tears, that their mother can’t be here, but she surely would have wished to be? That their father would protect them, if only he knew of them?

(And don’t make me tell you about the visceral horror I felt reading the Origins chapter. I’ve yet to make my peace with it. MXTX, Airplane, whoever: you’ve ruined me.)

The washerwoman was and continues to be, to Binghe, his only mother. And I would argue, that’s healthy. Even independent of his other traumas (Abyss, Shizun’s betrayal, Xin Mo’s influence, living on the streets, etc, holy shit Binghe) Luo Binghe will not accept anyone else as his mother.

“Who is this Su Xiyan?” Luo Binghe asked coldly. “My mother was a mere washerwoman.” — Vol. 3, Chapter 18: Origins.

It may seem callous. It probably even is! But it is a healthy line he’d drawn by his own initiative. It’s what helps him, what he feels he needs to do in order to do right by his mother, and his own heart.

And! Tianlang-Jun doesn’t seem to give much of a shit, either!

Won’t, probably, even in the future, once the dust will have settled. He is exhausted, weary with carrying the corpse of his love, the loss of his nephew. Whatever goodwill he shows, it’s a perfunctory sort, because he can’t afford more.

So. Uhh.

Tianlang-Jun is not a character I can love, nor one I can hate. Usually, I can’t help but be inclined to love complex characters. Like them, too—though that’s more of an action-based thing rather than just said character’s personality.

But with Tianlang-Jun, I’m stuck whichever way I turn. If I want to love/like him, I’m drawn back by Binghe’s pain and disappointment. If I try to hate/dislike him, I’m drawn back by his own history and grief.

In conclusion:

I don't know! I'm not really trying to, like, prove anything. I still love the aforementioned TLJ & LBH fics, I still love their dynamic. I started walking and ended up exactly in the same space. This, perhaps, could be considered a Heavenly Demon Family Mobius Strip!

I'm not really trying to say anything. It just… makes me feel conflicted, and angry, and whenever I allow myself to think about it a bit more, sad.

But.

However!

Alas.

Nonetheless, even.

As a reader and—on my better days—a writer, all I can say is:

As promised/threatened: some selected passages, for your reading pleasure:

So, it looked like neither the father nor the cousin had any intention of acknowledging Luo Binghe. — Chapter 15: Holy Mausoleum

He liked to call Luo Binghe “that son of mine,” but he didn’t seem to possess any concept of fatherly affection. — Chapter 15: Holy Mausoleum

Tianlang-Jun lifted his hand, took a look at Luo Binghe’s snow-pale face, and commented indifferently, “He looks like his mother.” “His eyes look like yours,” came a chill voice from the side. — Chapter 15: Holy Mausoleum

The faint hopes and dreams Luo Binghe had held in his heart for many years had been mercilessly pulverized into so much dust. […] [Tianlang-Jun] refused to speak a single word of their relationship and had been utterly ruthless back in the Holy Mausoleum. […] To his parents, Luo Binghe was an unwanted child. — Chapter 18: Origins

“If he was my father, why didn’t he bring it up earlier? Why not tell me?” The most Tianlang-Jun had said was that single line he offered while beating up Luo Binghe, devoid of either praise or criticism: “He looks like his mother.” He looks like his mother. What of it? But that was all. There was nothing more. — Chapter 18: Origins

Luo Binghe was indifferent. “He’s not my father.” […] Luo Binghe shook his head. It was unclear what he was stubbornly clinging to, but he repeated, “He’s not my father.” — Chapter 18: Origins