So sorry this is late. And for the length. And for the way I flip out near the end.
CHAPTER TWENTY: TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE
Ā Well, well. Look whoās trying something new. Riverdale experimented with tone and style in the seventh episode of this season. As a storyteller in my own right, I appreciate the effort for variety. Of course, there were things about it that worked for me and things that didnāt, but letās get to that in a minute.
What exactly were we all watching Wednesday night? A young adult anthology penned by Stephen King? Or was the dark, tingling quality in the showās atmosphere a byproduct of fanfiction fumed with Queen hits?
Huh, you say? Letās break down that observation, in order.
Ā Bert and Ernie Archie and Jughead
Lawyers in general earn a mixed reputation for their practice. I grew up hearing of comparisons to sharks and parasites. But Penny Peabody has carved herself a special box of awfulness here. After all, every snake is a serpent but not all of Riverdaleās Serpents are snakes.
After Riverdale received a message from the Black Hood (his basic blah, āsin and dieā stuff) the whole town reacts byā¦ahem, business as usual?
Betty, evidently distressed by her failure to keep Jugheadās drug-dealing English teacher alive, spent the night in her boyfriendās arms. He did his best to console, and I could have gone for more than that, but then his phone sang the song of eternal damnation, and he had to run off to appease the Snakecharmer.
Penny, using Jugheadās concern for his fatherās welfare in prison to her advantage, promised she can get FP out if Jughead did one little job for her.
Which led to him making a midnight drug run, with Archie as his co-pilot, his conscience torn between his determination to support Jughead and his passive desire to stop him.
Overall, the night was full-moon freak worthy. Jughead and Archie met a man on the road whose interest in the Black Hood suggests that the masked killer has been sending fan mail in the wrong direction. The boys also randomly encountered a set of deer, one bloody and the other bloody-dead. Poor Jug had so many jumpscares, I was surprised that it didnāt end with Archie checking him into a mental health clinic.
But they were in a hurry, after all, and like the song Headlong says
It aināt no time to figure wrong from right, cause reasonās out the window, better hold on tight ā youāre rushinā
Ā Oh, good, a character who deserves more attention has finally got some! I always loved Josieās friendship with Cheryl before, and now there are layers to go with that slice of cake. Granted, when you go aā explorinā the foundations of friendship, you might not always like what turns up from the dirt. But even if I donāt have quite the same love for Josie/Cheryl anymore, I am definitely more intrigued by them.
So, this is the (long overdue) spotlight on Josie McCoy. Pussycat by day, the next Whitney Houston by night. Might I add Ashleigh Murrayās pipes are fabulous, and I could fall asleep listening to Josie play the piano. No one knew she was composing alone except for her bff Cheryl, who is paying for studio time. Because the beginning of their story intersects with Jughead and Archieās, we get the pleasure of hearing Cheryl snap at them as āBert and Ernieā TWICE while chatting with Josie. Then Josie opened her locker to find a stuffed animal with a stalker-note attached. She rolled her eyes and tossed it, assuming it was from a secret admirer. Because it wasnāt like there was a Raās al Ghul wannabe ready to waste a town that day. At least Cheryl was wary, but her devotion to Josie seemed more intense here than it had been in previous episodes.
Then Josie encountered Chuck Clayton. Instead of skirt-chasing for the sake of humiliating his dates, Chuck goes to church. Chuck takes art classes. Chuck is ready to start going by Charles now.
There was in fact something softer about him in this episode, enough to leave both me and Josie hoping heād changed. That dance between them at the diner was so cute.
But whether this was a one-shot tale or a to-be-continued setup, weāll have to wait and see. Because while Josie did have a stalker in this episode, it wasnāt the Black Hood. It wasnāt Chuck.
Cheryl, you break my heart.
In honor of Josieās rollercoaster of a trip, I give you The Invisible Man.
Ā When you hear a sound that you just canāt place, feel somethinā move that you just canāt trace, when something sits on the end of your bed. Donāt turn around when you hear me tread/
Iām your meanest thought, Iām your darkest fear
But Iāll never get caught, you canāt shake me, shake me dear
Ā The last story goes back to what Betty did after saying goodbye to Jughead. While talking to him about the teacher murdered in Sheriff Kellerās station, a lightbulb sparked in her brain ā who could find it easier to get into the cell than Keller himself? Not one of her better ideas, I feel, but she ran ahead with it. She told Veronica, who insisted the Sheriff was just exhibiting the signs of practicing infidelity. Still, the girls agreed for Kevinās sake they would have to be careful. While Betty worked her Veronica Mars magic at the department, Veronica invited herself to a sleepover at Kevinās house. Being the warm treasured heart he is, he taught her how to dominate his favorite fantasy board game. Taking a break, Veronica took a call from Betty. (virtually the only time Iāve ever been truly disappointed in my girl ā more on that later.)
Betty learned from V that a bunch of doors were locked at the Keller house. She bobby-pinned them open until she found Sheriff Kellerās evidence office. Crime scene pictures here, letters from the Black Hood there. Betty was just picking up the black mask that Keller had confiscated from Archie earlier this season, when the Sheriff showed up.
However, when the scene bounced to Betty and her father sitting, facing Keller, he wasnāt enraged. He seemed quite understanding of her suspicions, and downright sad she had them. He promised her he wouldnāt tell Kevin, because she and his son were so important to one another, and knowledge of this incident would break his heart.
But for relentless Betty, it wasnāt over. She wanted to know where Keller was sneaking off to at night. Tailing him alongside a reluctant Veronica led them to a motel. Keller knocked on one of the doors, and out stepped Mayor McCoy ā Josieās mom ā into his arms.
The girls swore a pact theyād never reveal the truth to Kevin. I felt like they also should have promised each other to never investigate with Veronicaās Cheat-Busterās intuition. This was one secret that would have been better left uncovered.
Ā Because Kevin remarked upon āthe pressureā his dad was facing so much, hereās Under Pressure.
Pressure pushing down on you, no man ask for
Under pressure that burns a building down
Puts people on the streets
Ā These are a few of my other Darkside observations, pros and cons:
We had a break from Toni. Yes I know some still like her, and yes I know sheās not a bug mucking up Bugheadās windshield. For the record, though? I wanted to like Toni Topaz. Really. I was so hoping sheād be the Toni from my South Side Story fic. That Toni took a stand, had integrity, and had a kind-of-crush on Betty. She was interesting, and I was hoping Vanessa Morganās version would at least have some interesting lines. Sadly, something fell flat for me along the way, and with this absence I hope the writers have thought of a new way to make her more appealing as a person.
Ā Bert and Ernie. BERT AND ERNIE. Though I see Jughead as more the cynical-ish Bert, and Archie is more the rubber ducky type methinks. Still, never getting old.
Ā But unfortunately, I have some nitpicks now.
Ā Archie owes Jughead? You know, Iām not entirely certain Jughead would have won that race with the Ghoulies. And if it had been a clear loss...Jughead clearly needs glasses if heās that shortsighted. Archie bailed him out of a high-risk situation. If it had been me in that fix I daresay I would be treating Archie Andrews to burgers and milkshakes for a month.
Even worse friends are the Pussycats. Setup or no, I just wanted someone to point out to High and Mighty Valerie that cutting Josie out for working on songs by herself when just a few months ago she was crushed for writing songs with Archie seems either very petty (if revenge) or hypocritical.
I hate to bring up hypocrisy now, but letās examine Bettyās actions when her boyfriendās father was under suspicion for murder. She. Would. Not. Have. It. Everyone, from Archie and Veronica to her own damn mother wanted her to look a bit more closely beyond Jugheadās words that FP was innocent.
Cut to today, when she doggedly pursued the father of one of her closest friends, and someone sheās been quite frankly more familiar with over the years than FP Jones, for his potential ability to walk into a jail cell and shoot someone. And for Veronica to remind Betty that investigating Kevinās dad would hurt their friend, only for Betty to keep gunning for him like the Kellers meant so little to her.
*Iād like to think I know what this is about. Betty has been traumatized by the Black Hood. Sheās so freaked Dark Betty has had to come out of the woodwork. Dark Betty is colder, a bit more obsessive than the Girl Next Door version. Sheās probably determined not to rest until the culprit canāt hurt her or her friends anymore.
I see this possibility. Of course, I could be dead wrong.
Ā But now that Iāve mentioned the Black Hood, Iām going to say what I should have said the last time:
I mean, thereās a psychopath in a mask that has declared war on an entire town. When he starts sending encrypted messages vowing to erase all sin from Riverdale, Jesus sorry but thatās when you send in the Feds.
Ā Riverdale has forty-eight hours to stop sinning or heāll kill again. Doesnāt anyone take this threat seriously?
Obviously not, including the very people heās threatening. WTF kind of a test is that anyways? A town without sin, wow, really? He might as well come for all of us.
Ā
With this theme song: Ā Innuendo
Ā show yourself, destroy our fears ā release your masks