#swarms-asks

AT LAAAASTTT!! YESSS!!! Sorry that these aren't particularly fluffy? I'm writing these with how I would *think* Folly would show affection under the assumption that you've taken the time to gain her trust (a long and arduous process). And idk! I don't see her as being super nice and fluffy and soft..she's still got her spines lol.

ᡣ𐭩 First and foremost..she's very touch-averse. She hates hates HATES people touching her. She hates those pokes to her sides to get her attention, or when someone tugs on her sweater for the same reason, those brushes of contact when someone is trying to get past. The people in the Regretevator are lucky she's not allowed to kill any more of them. However, there's some grey-area to this. She does have a very specific list of people she'll give more leeway to or gives passes for in terms of smaller touches. A hand to her shoulder or a tap..anymore than that and she shirk them off. So! When it comes to someone (you) who she has a much deeper level of trust with..well. You can get away with more stuff.

ᡣ𐭩 PDA is still a HUGE no for her though. She can't do all of the lovey dovey mushy gushy stuff in general, to think about doing any of it in front of people? Ewgh..no. Love- or well..from what little she understands of it, is meant to stay behind in privacy, something to share alone with that person she cares about. It's one of the few good things she has, so she isn't very keen or jumping at the idea of showing that so openly....but, she supposes if you beg and plead enough to not be annoying or pushy, she'll let you hold a finger or two of hers (the ones you can reach). That's all you're getting.

ᡣ𐭩 In terms of touch in the privacy you two share, Folly is a little more lax. If you're particularly fond of physical affection she supposes you can show some..but be sure to not do so much that it can be smothering or clingy to her. She's not a fan of it. Physical affection also has to be initiated by you...most times she isn't the one to initiate or move to get any.

ᡣ𐭩 There's still rules or boundaries she has when it comes to physical affection however.

1) Like said previously, she doesn't like to feel smothered. Too much of any of it leaves her feeling kind of overwhelmed since love and that sort of stuff is still new to her.

2) She doesn't like it when you try to pick up or move either her beret or mask so it's best to leave those alone..until she trusts you enough.

3) Absolutely never ever under any circumstances intentionally touch the scarring around her stomach. She tends to flinch and move away when it's done accidentally (say you accidentally brushed your hand over it when moving). If you do it intentionally to try and comfort her or something, it'll make her snap at you. It's a sore spot for her, especially since it never really fully heals. She'd rather you just. Not.

4) DOES enjoy the warmth from your natural body heat. She doesn't regulate any of that herself, so to feel it feels nice. Of course, she'll never say what she likes or enjoys out loud, but chances are you'll probably notice or recognize her enjoyment without her having to say it. Like how she likes holding your warmer hands in hers, or feeling them rub along her back.

5) You don't really provide *much* weight in comparison to her, but she likes when you just lay across her. The bit of weight you do have also just feels good. That need to just feel pressure?? It feels good since she's riddled with chronic pains.

ᡣ𐭩 Moving on from that to other things, other types of affection Folly shows are usually silent in nature. She's not eloquent or emotional enough when it comes to speaking from the heart and she doesn't want to embarrass herself or make herself appear stupid. Out of touch, but not stupid.

ᡣ𐭩 Quality time is one of those things. It's a very prominent one too since physical affection is meant to be private and Folly is not exactly bellowing her undying love for you. She likes spending time with you. Doesn't have to be doing an activity or anything or anything super exciting. She likes the quiet, of just sitting near, reading a book or maybe she's trying to take a crack at learning how to crochet still (it's difficult with big ol hands like hers)..it's exchanging poetry, or listening to each other read, or just talking.

ᡣ𐭩 Folly isn't above giving gifts...it's just most of the time they aren't physical nor conventional in the regular gift giving sense. Her gifts are more so experiences. Surprising you with a dream...nightmare? That's..well, it's still signature Folly with its morbidity and thrills that may leave your eyes snapping open at first light, but it was made and crafted by Folly. Sure as hell gets you awake without any coffee needed. Dreams that are so strange, confusing, and abstract that you aren't sure what to make of it. Asking Folly herself makes her eye crinkle a little..and she doesn't tell you anything.

either that or elaborate more on BPD Folly :3 I'm a curious pea of why you have that hesdcanon!!

I can give you both!! Sorry, you present me with an opportunity to talk about Folly I'm GYUNNA do it cause I love her and I love talking about her ehheehh I kick my feet. Also! As a general disclaimer. I'm someone who heavily suspects I have BPD and also, please acknowledge that while I worked off the best I could, that some of experiences I gave Folly either can or might be absent from someone else. BPD is an individual experience and may look different from person to person. I did my best!

! TW for brief mentions of suicidal ideation + depersonalization in regards to talking about Folly !

Gonna start with elaboration on my BPD headcanon for her first as BPD and how that comes to relationships is very important when it comes to me talking about when she realizes she's in love. BPD is a personality disorder characterized by unstable moods and emotions that come about due to *trauma*. I don't need to say much else about Folly herself to know that she does in fact maybe sorta kinda..has trauma. Lol.

But!! Here's the thing that a lot of people don't know (I was this way once too) is that BPD has different types as to how it can manifest + it can be multiple at once and can be subject to change to different types and fluctuate. Me and my best friend @peopleeeater have discussed BPD when it comes to Folly specifically in terms of what types she'd fall under or have been observed to possibly fall under. It's a little difficult? Mainly because Folly is just a complicated character when it comes to her mentality. Here's the ones I think she can fall under though,

- Impulsive

-Self-destructive

-Petulant

Not only is she seen generally being hostile to most characters (not exactly a sure fire sign of BPD but bare with me), but also very subtly in the game she alludes to have suicidal ideation with how she projects her wants for "freedom" onto Melanie when referring to how she killed Melanie + in one of the floppies (written from the perspective of Null).

Sorry if this is kinda heavy! But one of the symptoms of BPD is suicidal tendencies or suicidal ideation. Folly talks about how shes immortal and how most things can't kill her seemingly, meaning she *feels* stuck and trapped in the hell she was saddled with. The only reason she says shes working with MR is because she feels as if MR can grant her that mercy, that freedom.

Another reason why I headcanon she has BPD is her contrasting inner dialogue/conversations she has with MR and some with Null compared to the rest of the characters. From interactions had with NPCs, you know Folly and how she just picks, nudges, pokes, and prods and people to get under their skin, to invoke a bad reaction or kick them while they're down. These are all but gone when it comes to MR.

This shows a level of rawness/a teensy amount of vulnerability to how she truly feels about herself. A lot of the times when it comes to talking about herself to other characters she'll try and put herself above them, as they're lessers, just her food, play things to her that she can bat around within reason. This versus this conversation with MR, we know it's maybe just a front *or* maybe it's simultaneous, maybe this feeling can switch back and forth.

One more thing that I use in game that leads me to headcanon this is her canonical depersonalization issues. Depersonalization refers to someone's feeling of themselves being separate and outside of their own body, feelings, and emotions. Like feeling detached or like you're looking in on yourself rather than feeling like you're feeling those things. It's also a symptom of BPD.

(Comic by CatJammi, not in full, creator of Folly).

But!! I have general thoughts and headcanons about her BPD outside of what I use in game. Can expound on those too if someone asks! You just asked for why I personally came to that conclusion so im showing you stuff in game or said by the creator to show why.

With this, I use this in mind when it comes to writing Folly in relationships, as BPD plays a factor in one's relationships they have with people. Folly is not medicated nor has she had any help in the forms of a therapist, so this may lead to more volatile or snap reactions, but I imagine the longer she's in said relationship, the more you gain her trust, the more she'll be able to reel it in a little or realize when she needs to be alone.

ꨄ When she realizes she's in love, she's two things. This is the most furious she can ever be at herself...and the most terrified she's ever felt, burying deep into her very bones. Her knee-jerk reaction when she realizes is to isolate herself, to stop talking to you or being around you. To snap, be mean, to get you away from her. She has this perpetual need to make people hate her. It's just. So much easier. Much less to deal with. Not only is "love" something she'll never understand..but it's also something she feels a deep guilt over. She doesn't deserve that. She doesn't deserve happiness. And yet..it makes her so angry how much she feels the need to still seek it, to seek that person. It's a waging battle that pulls her thin and it angers her.

ꨄ You anger her. How *dare* you? Thinking you can work your way into her good graces like this. How do you think you're an exception? Do you think you can change her? How she is? Who she is? Do you think you can tame a *monster*? You're doing this to feel better about yourself aren't you? To try and fix her? <- this is what we call a #BPD moment because it's the snap anger response as to possible ulterior motives and assumptions on her part of how you actually feel towards her. When..shes thinking more rationally..these dissipate. And she feels sick, angry, and guilty about herself all over again. Her skin itches..

ꨄ Falling in love is usually a time where someone might feel happy, giddy, nervous, catch the butterflies...but Folly just feels an eruption, a cacophony of emotions and most of them bad. She doesn't deserve it, doesn't deserve you, you can do better, you cant possibly want a monster like her. You want someone normal, someone not broken, someone who has done unforgivable things like she did. You can't. You can't possibly want her, she thinks..

ꨄ Ultimately, this is a topic to be broached and initiated by *you*. Folly won't. She can't be the one who initiates it. It isn't a refusal out of nervousness, but out of pride and the need to isolate. She's already got it in her head that you're not going to reciprocate. And she hates that horrible maddening back and forth her mind keeps jumping to. *No*, she shouldn't be with you...oh but how she craves it, to have that visceral need to cling to you, to be selfish. But *no*, no she mustn't, she can't have you, doesn't deserve to have you, She shouldn't dare lower herself, to break so easy. Its maddening to her. And it's a conversation to be initiated by you. 50/50 chance of it going alright or bursting into flames lol.

EHEHHE TY!! Also, for anyone reading wanting to submit an ask, I wanted to ask for y'all to be specific when asking for any scenarios or headcanons. It makes it easier for me to nail down how to go about writing them (not directed towards you anon! This goes for everyone moving forward lol). Also also, keep in mind if like to write Folly as close as I can to canon and that maaaay mean she's not the nicest to put it lightly. Gulps. Anyways!! Let me get to your headcanons now that I've said my piece!

𖧧 Patience. So so SO much patience is required in order to get anywhere with her. To give you an inkling into her very being. It'll be hard sometimes. She's known for being heavily distrustful. Through darting eyes, she thinks letting her guard down will leave her open to be hurt again, heart surrounded by spikes, emotions buried deep into the darkest crevices of her mind to leave to no one but herself to know. She pushes people away that she feels might be getting too close for comfort, lashes out when she feels too vulnerable, words drip with venom to hurt so that you hate her. Everyone does, it's easier to be hated than to feel loved again.

𖧧 The patience will pay off. It shows in little ways..maybe in the nightmares she shows up in, it won't really be one- well. Not specifically of your own. She writes poems..so suprising to you until she shoved it in your faced and forced you to read them, she won't let you wake until otherwise. The poems are often dark in nature. Folly loves her tragedies, twists and turns, bleakness. You find when you read these the things within the poems, what were symbolisms or events happening becoming real and visual in your nightmares. It's all so visceral, frightening, and yet you're made to keep reading. As terror settles deep in your very tissues..she's a good writer.

𖧧 Back before she became the abomination of a mistake she feels she is. She dreamed of things like friendship...maybe even love. She wished once upon a time that she felt connected to someone. Truth be told..she was lonely back then. Now as Folly, she pushes these old dreams and desires *far* into the rushing water to drown them, to not hear of them again, how could she ever want those things when someone else could inflict such harm on her again? No..she saw these things as a weakness. A weakness she hates is rearing it's ugly head from the watery grave when you both do get close.

𖧧 She hates it. She hates you for making her feel so low, for making her feel weak when you ask for such benign things..kiss her hand? Ask her to lean down lower so you could press your forehead to hers? Brush stray hair from her shoulder? It's....stupid.

𖧧 PDA is a super big no for her. She doesn't like getting lovey dovey in front of anyone in the elevator. She likes keeping the very few and rare relationships that are "nice" to herself, to her and her alone. Most she'll allow is for you to reach up and hold one of her large fingers that fit in your hand.

𖧧 Speaking of touch, she feels strange. It'll be kind of normal at first. She lacks body warmth, but other than that it's nothing crazy..only if you touch her for extended periods of time is when you start to feel strange. Firstly, canonically, bloody noses tend to happen if your near her for too long. Secondly, being in physical contact for a long period of time leaves your skin feeling..buzzed? Is a way to describe it? Weird and crackly, almost like electricity under your skin and it's not pleasant..but it's not super bad either. Just a weird sensation. When you pull away that's when it kindaaa borders on hurting? Stinging I'll put it. Like ants under your skin, makes you feel itchy.

OFC OFC!!! These are just the headcanons that involve her, there are other people in my askbox who've asked for one involving a reader so I'll get to those later! It's Folly time eheheh.

𓁺 She has a weak sense of taste since she doesn't have a tongue or mouth to use in order *to* taste. That's a given, but I wanna talk about the fact that that means she's never tasted anything tangible, as in, physical food or drink items or anything outside of that. Things she describes as having a taste are the literal negative emotions she parasitically feeds off of..but that's not tangible. She describes the tastes of negative emotions to have a wide range that isn't comparable to any foods because her palette is just so limited. How does one describe a taste that she has no finger to point to?

𓁺 HATES looking into mirrors for too long. Sure, they're good for reflecting back on those to make them see themselves for what they really are. Sometimes it's a fear used against people. She's just someone who isn't exempt from it. She can *look* into a mirror, but looking for too long makes her really look at herself..and she doesn't like doing that. It upsets her inwardly to think too hard about what is staring back at her. A body that doesn't feel like her own. A stranger. But that stranger *is* her, as much as she wishes it wasn't. It's her. Her once normal proportions stretched, her heavier limbs, her wide red eye..her broken sense of self. She doesn't like looking too long. It makes her feel sick.

𓁺 No surprise she's good at plant care. She takes care of her aspens and she takes it seriously. She's sure to keep the environment to their liking, always tilling up or making sure the dirt they grown in isn't too compact, always keeps the ground moist and watered, she trims any dead or rotting branches the rare times they have some. She doesn't often have to worry about insects as the Eternal Limbo is too cold for them stay alive in..doesn't mean she doesn't have to worry about people poking about. Mark and the others like him will pay for making her listen to the trees scream.

𓁺 Finicky when it comes to being touched. Most of the time she's pretty touch aversed, it's different when she's choosing to manhandle or touch people in a way that unsettles them, but other people touching her? Nuh uh. She has a mental list of tiers of who of the NPCs she'd be okay with touching her. Mostly all of them fall under the "I'd actually like to rip your entire arm off if you so much as poke me". It's really only mentally though, obviously she shows more restraint but her heart is filled with rage and hate. Wallter and Mach are the only two exceptions. She wouldn't go as far to let either of them hug her or anything crazy like that, but she wouldn't feel like hacking them into pieces if they maybe put a hand on her shoulder or tapped on her to get her attention or something.

𓁺 Speaking of touch. She has no body warmth, no warmth to her body at all. She doesn't produce or give off any kind of heat. She doesn't even feel or mind most temperatures nor is she bothered if places are too hot or cold. Also doesn't even sweat! It benefits her none if she could because sweat is meant to cool the body down. But she already tends to run cold so? Yeah, no sweat.

𓁺 Does not *need* to sleep. At all. Sleeping gives her no benefits, not sleeping doesn't cause any negatives. She neither gains nor is punished by her body by sleeping or not sleeping. It's a choice. Most of the time she chooses not to because she could always find better things to occupy her mind with or do and it's not like she *feels* tired in a way where she wants to sleep. She would only ever do this on days where her chronic pain is just at its worst as she's trying to find a way to past the time of suffering.

I'm gonna be so real with you anon, I think out of all of the characters in Regretevator, Folly is probably one of THE worst to go to in terms of being low mentally UEGFHSGWHDG. She is. Not nice lmao. Can even be seen with characters that show weakness (in her eyes), Pilby being one that comes to mind where she'll actively use their saddened state in order to demean and bring them lower. Kicking them while they're down essentially. BUT I persume you're asking this in a way where Folly is at a point she cares about you, so what I'll do is go with that when writing this. Enjoy!!

☁︎ Folly describes herself as not stupid..but instead, someone out of touch. It's hard for her now to truly grasp emotions in a way where she can be empathetic or caring for them other than when they benefit her. Low empathy is what Folly is, not that she's completely devoid, but struggles to maybe connect with you in a way where she'd know what to do.

☁︎ Negative emotions are the very thing she feeds off of, so it's really easy for her to *tell* somethings up, that you're feeling, "How you mortals say? Feeling blue?" She's not really delicate and isn't one to tiptoe around what she wants to say..she lost her gentle way of going about things when she became what she is.

☁︎ Gonna be real, she's very shit at comfort. She doesn't understand why you'd go to her (because she's aware she's not the best option), post Cleave, she struggles to truly understand the ways of comfort because she's honestly forgotten what it even looks like..it's been so long. Sure she's maybe gotten it when she was younger..when she was Dreamer. But trying to recall those times when wanting to apply them to comfort you, here, in the present, it's hazy and fuzzy and she doesn't remember it much.

☁︎ When you seek physical comfort or verbal comfort and assurance, it's very..awkward. As eloquently as she speaks, still retains her bluntness. It's bothers her that she even cares about trying to soften her words..foolish she thinks. But she tries her best, even if it's strained and she struggles to feel what you're feeling and put that into words. Physical comfort is something she's awkward with too. She's very large and it's hard to just..hug you without accidentally crushing you if she were to miscalculate her strength. She'll usually oblige if you're in private and you push your face against her sweater. She thinks you look sad and pathetic. But twist her leg, won't you? She'll bring a hand down, acting as a sort of hug and maybe she'll try and pat your back or something. She feels weird when doing so.

☁︎ "Er...there..there...?" She'd say, strained, trying to think of things to say that would typically be comforting or that she's seen, patting your back as you sniffle and cry. You'd pull away, wiping your tears. "You s-suck at this." Her eye would narrow at you, her expression hard to tell otherwise. "Hmph.." She'd silently agree with you.

☁︎ Okay, so, she's not good with her words, keeping them soft, maybe a 4-5 out of 10 on the physical comfort scale, and is a little out of touch when it comes with dealing with emotions in a way that she just doesn't purely feed off of for her own gain...so what can she do? Well..she's good at listening.

(also ur folly chronic pain esc hc has my soul i love it sm <3)

Firstly!! Tysm!! Glad to see a lot of people liked my Folly chronic pains hcs. Spores successfully spread >:] ! Secondly, I was honestly stuck on what to do for this one. I was having trouble because physically disabled can be a wide range of things, all with different ways of care, coping, or other things usually coupled with it. So, I went with a reader who has arthritis/chronic pain that henders their mobility, and that results in needing to use a wheelchair at times. Hope you enjoy!

𖣂 Such pain you feel, pain she can sense. It's invisible to most that you haven't let known about your condition and invisible ailment. But you hurt, you ache, your limbs burn. She can see the subtly in the ways you show it. The creases in your brow, how you wince at times, the quiet sound of gritting teeth, the pursing of lips, or the crinkle of a nose. It's a pain she can relate to and one that is never ending.

𖣂 The most obvious thing that tells your pain is the wheelchair you sport at times on the rare days you end up going into the elevator in such condition. Usually you don't, only if you need to. Not a lot of NPCs have seen it. She didn't need to, she already knew you had one.

𖣂 Your talks, like everyone Folly interacts with, can be tense. Sometimes you have bite to your words when speaking to her, when she pushes your buttons too hard or says just the wrong thing. Pain tends to exacerbate irritation, she knows that all to well as she does the same when pushed by you or others...it's a silent understanding between you two. A relateability.

𖣂 Sometimes you both get in a sweet spot, where you both talk about the pain you feel. Folly is a hard nut to crack open, to get her to say anything about what she's feeling. Most of the time what she says is vague, not trusting you, nor anyone. But she listens to you. She knows about your pain, she hears about it more from you. Even if she's coiled like a snake, ready to strike at whoever comes to close..it does ease her a little, knowing someone understands even a sliver of what she feels physically.

𖣂 Patience is your virtue in getting Folly to open up. If you can somehow stand her words that burn ears, her threats, that wall she puts up with 10 layers of bricks..slowly you can chip away, learn more and more each time. And eventually, you learn more about her pain, one that sounds an awful lot like how you feel.

𖣂 You give each other some tips of how you tend to cope through pain for the other to try to see if the method you talked about may work for the other. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't, but it's something to try for you both.

𖣂 Pressure pad buddies. She wears large pressure pads underneath her sweater in places like her joints that hurt the most. You changed her *life* when you informed her there were ones that could heat up and boy do those feel nice on aching limbs..she'll never admit it outright though.

𖣂 If in a relationship with each other. Massages. Are. A. Must. Folly really really enjoys it when you give her one. Her hands may be small in comparison to her very large form but it still helps some. Tenderly rubbing your fingers into her head, especially your thumbs near a certain part near her eye and you apply pressure and rub feels really good for her migraines. Or if you rub into her shoulders, knead her back, her legs. Anywhere really. It doesn't cure it of course, but it makes it more bearable. It's also an amusing sight seeing her basically reduced to goop.

(the greenish bits glow in the dark)