#svn

“Yeah, so now we just gotta find it.” JJ added from his position next to you, sighing. 

“Well, news flash,” Kie added in, looking at you all. “We’re not getting out of here unnoticed with a giant cross.”

Pope sighed, eyes fleeting to the Carrera girl. “We won’t have to.” He assured, the moonlight illuminating half of his face. “We can nab it somewhere further in the country.”

“We just have to figure out how to stop the train…” You pondered aloud, looking down at the tracks below you. 

“...Leave that to me.” JJ replied, all of you turning to see him smirking down at his own feet. Your face twisted in concern.

“What’re you gonna do?”

JJ scoffed. “Nothin’,” He assured, his hand squeezing your arm. God, he was making this hard. “I got an uncle up in New Bern. When he got tipsy, he’d just throw an old chain across the tracks, just for shits ‘n giggles. And, uh, that old little chain would stop all the train traffic in Coastal Carolina.” He smirked.

“...A chain?” Kiara questioned skeptically.

Pope shrugged. “He’s…actually right.” The Heyward boy corroborated. “There’s a low-voltage current that runs across all rail tracks. Throw a chain on it, you close that circuit. It would read as another train. Crossing lights come down. Science is actually pretty sound.”

“Well, we don’t have a chain.” Cleo interjected. 

“...No, but I bet Topper’s dad has jumper cables in the truck.” Sarah threw out, voice uncertain. “Would that work?” She asked, all eyes on Pope.

Pope seemed to ponder for a moment before raising his eyebrows, shrugging one shoulder. “Yeah-”

“Yo, what’s goin’ on?!” A familiar, ear bleeding voice rang out, causing all of you to turn around—seeing a tiny, yet loud, Topper Thornton. Standing there. Yelling. “Are we doing this or what?

“Shut up!” You snapped at the blonde, throwing your hands out to the side to mimic his own annoyance. He simply rolled his eyes as you all turned away from him.  

“Alright,” Cleo started, leaning in. “You all wait here, me and Pope will go look for it and send a signal once we find it.” She ordered, looking to each of you to make sure everyone was on board and understood their tasks.

“Do we actually have a plan right now?” Sarah smiled smally. 

“Think we do.” You met her eyes with an equally surprised expression. 

She shrugged. “That’s impressive...”

“Let’s not jinx it.” Pope jumped in, drawing his lips into a thin line. “C’mon,” He urged Cleo to follow him as he climbed down from the train car, helping her down as well. 

You, JJ, Sarah, and Kiara remained atop the car—all crouched down, following the beam of the flashlight as Cleo and Pope searched for the correct car that held the cross. They seemed to be walking pretty fast, clearing at least half of the cars before they’d even been gone two minutes. 

The sound of shoes against gravel and slight muttering had you craning your neck to find Topper, once again, outside of his dad’s truck—pacing and muttering to himself. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, turning to Sarah when you heard her chuckle, finding her bright eyes on you.

Her amusement with your annoyance put a small smile on your face, looking at the Thornton boy with a raised brow before looking back at her. “How did you put up with that?”

She simply shook her head. “Well, I wasn’t the world’s greatest girlfriend,” She shrugged with a mischievous smile. 

Just then, your attention was pulled when JJ started frantically tapping your shoulder—pointing towards where Pope had climbed to the top of another train car.

The four of you held your breath as he climbed to the edge, turning around as he held himself up. JJ held up two thumbs towards the Heyward boy—silently asking if they’d found it. In response, Pope began shaking the flashlight in his hand wildly.

“That’s it. We’re green.” Kie concluded, all of you standing to meet them when the sound of gears clanking and engines hissing stopped you in your tracks.

You and JJ shot each other a look as Kie and Sarah did the same.

“...What was that?” You asked, already knowing the answer but not wanting to believe that the plan that was going so smoothly just got completely derailed. Everyone was frozen without so much as a thought of what to do when the sound of brakes hissing and metal clanking got ten times louder. 

“Train's moving.” JJ said blankly, watching the cars start to move forward. “Train's movin’.” He emphasized this time, him being the first one to jump into action—climbing down off of the stationary car as the three of you followed, JJ helping you down. Your eyes connected with his just as your feet hit the ground and the look in his eyes made your knees buckle. 

It was hard, not being able to talk to him. You were a mess of emotions for a multitude of reasons but being on bad terms with JJ was the biggest. He'd been your best friend for ages. Not only that, you were in love with him.

It was weird being like this with him. But you were both were too stubborn.

You quickly walked towards where Topper was waiting, clearly agitated as he spotted the Cameron girl. “Hey, Sarah-”

“Do you have jumper cables in there?” She pointed to the truck, ignoring him as she brushed past him. 

Topper stuttered, dumbfounded at her dismissal. “Here I am, involved in illegal activities-”

“Not that illegal.” She dismissed, shooting him a blank look as she opened the passenger side door. 

“I’m not even close to being okay with this.”

“Okay,” She told him simply, grabbing what she needed and closing the car door.

“J-jumper cables. What’re we doin’ with these?” He asked, wide-eyed and sweaty—hands moving in one hundred different directions.

“Topper.” Sarah looked him in the eyes. “If you don’t wanna go, it’s fine. We’ll take the truck.” She said, not a question but a statement as she, once again, brushed past him.

He stayed rooted in his position, only turning to watch Sarah walk away, still complaining. “The truck?” He said incredulously, looking at all of you now. “Okay, I just wanna make sure everyone here is okay with ending up in federal prison.”

“Uh, if it gets to that, yeah, I’ll do it for Pope.” JJ retorted, shooting Topper a steady look as he threw a leg over the seat of dirtbike, holding his backpack in one hand as it dangled next to him. “Plus, this shouldn't be much of an issue for you, Top. I know a buddy or two of yours who should be in federal prison-”

“JJ...” You sighed, looking up at him as he briefly shot you a look, nodding.

“I’m calm.” He told you lowly, looking down at you. Topper sighed and you all looked at each other with victorious smiles as Sarah, Kie, and himself got into his truck. JJ turned to you as he settled himself on his bike, a pleading look in his eyes.

“Where you goin’, princess?” He asked, starting his engine. It wasn’t really a question, you knew that. And despite everything, you’d never leave JJ alone, especially not during something like this.

You’d follow him anywhere. No matter what.

So, without another thought, you took his backpack from him, slung it over your shoulders, and climbed onto the back of his bike, your arms wound tightly around his waist. He smiled at you over his shoulder before kicking his foot off the ground and driving off. “Good choice.”

JJ sped down the road alongside the train tracks, trying desperately to get ahead of it so he could place the jumper cables and stop its route. You clung onto the blonde for dear life as the wind whipped through your hair, the headlights of Topper’s truck occasionally blinding you as they trailed behind before losing them.

It didn’t take long before JJ’s bike was ahead of the train, the Maybank boy making quick work of coming to a stop in a patch of grass, taking hold of the jumper cables as you both hopped off of the bike. “This should be far enough.” JJ mumbled to himself, untangling the cords and nearly sprinting towards the tracks as you followed behind. “Oh God, you can hear it comin'.” He panicked, throwing the cables across the tracks as he opened up the base of the traffic light, doing something to it.

You stood as lookout, looking both ways in the dark as the wind whipped through your hair.

Once he finished doing whatever he needed to do, he was coming towards you. “Okay, now, all you have to do is change the current.” He spoke quickly, and mostly to himself as he clamped the teeth of the cables onto one side of the train track. “Let’s go, baby.” He smiled, the words making your heart jump but you didn’t have time to pay them much attention, paying more attention the way the plugs sparked as he let them connect to the track.

“Please, don’t get electrocuted.” You worried aloud with a pout, looking to your left to watch for the train.

“Someone’s worried?” JJ joked, looking up at you, admiring the way the moonlight structured your face as you turned to face him.

“Always.” You said softly, your eyes meeting his. The two of you got lost for a moment, but only for a moment before your brows furrowed, turning to look at the traffic light…that was still green. JJ, following your gaze, seemed to note the same problem. 

“Come on, come on..” He stressed, taking the hat off of his head, crumpling it in his hands. “Think, think, think...—what if I blockaded the track? I could put, like, a tree-” He rambled as you searched for what could be the problem. The traffic light seemed to be working fine, so it had to be a problem with…the cables.

Both the red and black cables were only connected to one side of the train tracks.

As JJ continued to stress behind you, you simply unclamped one of the cables and moved it to the other side so each side of the track got an equal charge. “Hey,” You interrupted the boy, looking at him over your shoulder as you crouched on the tracks, letting him observe the change. “The train touches both sides of the track.” You said, raising an eyebrow and pointing your index and middle fingers at the cables. 

JJ looked at you, then at the light, waiting for it to turn red. You decided to back up and stand beside him now, waiting on the same thing. Your fingers brushed his as you walked backwards to stand next to him, both of you looking down at your hands, then at each other just when a flood of red flashed over both of your faces, stealing both your attention. 

You turned to see that the traffic light had turned red before turning back to each other with bright smiles. 

“Yes.” You cheered, instinctively holding up both hands for JJ to high five you, which he did with no hesitation.

It only shifted when he grabbed both sides of your face, pulling yours closer to his. “You’re a genius.” He smiled, looking into your eyes as you stared dumbfoundedly into his own.

It was silent, aside from the sound of the train getting closer and closer by the second.

Neither of you said anything, too afraid to break the moment.

JJ’s hands even shook as he moved to brush your hair behind your ears. “...I-” 

“JJ-” You tried, basically yelling at each other over the whipping wind and the screeching of the train in the distance. Both of your words were cut off when the lights of the train coming around the corner blinded you both, the sound of its wheels screeching against the tracks ringing in your ears as you pulled away from one another.

“C’mon,” JJ urged, pulling you by your hand to hide in the thick of the trees, out of sight from the conductors. Crouched behind a bush, you and JJ hid out of sight—watching and waiting patiently until you were given some sign it was okay to go when, after a few minutes, a patrol car of some sort pulled up right next to the tracks.

“No, no, no…” You mumbled under your breath, watching a man and a woman exit the truck. 

“What is this here?” The man asked, his accent heavy as he squinted his eyes as they walked closer to the tracks where the cables were connected.

“Hell if I know…” The woman said, both sharing a look as they stopped right on top of the jumper cables.

“What is this bullshit?” The man cursed, agitated. “You see this?” He asked his partner, shining the light on the set-up. Once he saw where the cables were getting power, he pointed to the base of the traffic light. “Unhook that for me.” He ordered the woman, and she did as told. “Throw that in the back.” He told her. 

“What do we do?” You asked JJ, looking at the side of his face—his jaw clenched in contemplation. You had a lot more to say than that, but the moment was gone.

He sighed, looking around. “Shit, I don’t know.”

You two sat like ducks, watching as the man of the pair stared up at the lights until they turned green once again, bringing his walkie to his mouth. “You’re all good over here. Some asshole put jumper cables on the tracks...” He cleared, walking back to his truck with a skeptical look around before driving away with his partner.

“They’ve had enough time…right?” You asked. Just then, the sound of the brakes hissing rang out in the secluded area.

“The train’s startin again’.”

“We gotta go get them.”

“C’mon,” JJ urged, helping you up as you both raced back to his bike. You nearly tripped over a mountain of sticks but once you made it to his bike, JJ reached in his pocket, frantically fishing for the keys. As he retrieved them, something fell out of his pocket, you reaching down to get it.

“Hold on, you dropped your-” You stopped yourself mid crouch, picking up a wallet with a few bills sticking out—the initials ‘MC’ on it.

It was familiar.

Probably because you’d seen it around Kie’s house.

Because the initials stood for Mike Carrera.

Who the wallet belonged to.

You eyed JJ with astonishment as you slowly stood back up to your full height, looking at JJ who was seated on his bike, wallet clutched in your fingers. “...Why do you have this?”

But he looked away from you, swallowing harshly as he avoided your eyes. “...If I’m gonna be accused of being a thief, might as well get somethin’ out of it.”

“But you know you're not-" You sighed, breathing harshly through your nose. "Y-You’re just giving them ammunition, JJ. You shouldn’t have-”

“Ammunition for what?” He raised his voice, looking back at you now. “They’re already against me...”

At his words, your face contorted in anger. “They didn’t have a reason. You’re giving them a reason. I defended you, J. You can’t-”

The train was blaring as it started up again, but you didn’t care. “We don’t have time for this-”

“You lied to me.”

That must’ve hit him where it really hurt, because he turned to look at you with a look you’ve never seen from JJ. It was something between hurt and anger and a myriad of things in between, none of them particularly good.

“...I have never lied to you.” He asserted, squinting his eyes at you. “Not even now.” He told you, his stare unwavering. “I made a bad judgement call earlier, that’s on me. I’ll give the wallet back, I didn’t even touch the money, alright? But don’t ever call me a liar when it comes to you.” He told you, his expression softening in the slightest. “Now, get on, please.” He urged, hearing the train get closer.

“How many more ‘bad judgement calls’ are you gonna make?” You asked, bordering between sad and angry now.

“Get on the bike-” JJ urged, eyebrows set into a harsh line just as a pickup truck sped in front of you two, a shipment box in the back.

“...That’s Top. And that’s the cross.” You both spotted, snapping out of whatever moment was happening for a moment and jumping onto the bike after shooting JJ a glare, allowing him to drive off and catch up the truck.

The bike was moving faster than it was before, catching up to Topper’s truck in no time at all. You could see your friends crowded into the truck just as police sirens sounded behind you, you peering back to see a sea of red and blue lights getting closer.

“JJ…” You warned, voice traveling over the wind.

“I know,” He reassured, taking a hand off of the handle for one second to squeeze yours that were clasped on his waist. He released you quickly, speeding up the bike even further in order to drive beside Topper’s truck instead of behind. There was chaos no matter which way you turned. 

You looked around as JJ drove forward in the opposite lane, now able to communicate with Cleo, Pope, and Kiara who were in the back.

“What’re you doin’?!” Pope asked, yelling through the sirens and the wind.

“Top, keep goin’ straight!” JJ yelled, ignoring Pope’s question that everyone was wondering. 

“Y’all be careful, alright?!” Topper called back out of the driver’s window. 

JJ edged his bike closer to Topper’s truck, looking over his shoulder at you. “Get ready to jump.”

Your head whipped around, eyes going wide. “I’m sorry, what?!”

“What?!” Your three friends in the back of the pick up screamed in unison. 

“Are you crazy?!” You asked, looking at the side of his face where he was dead set on the road ahead of him.

“Probably!” He answered. “Get ready to jump!”

“Come on, I got you,” Pope tried to help hanging off the side of the bed of Topper’s truck with his hands out. Your gaze whipped between both boys.

“No!” You shook your head, looking at JJ and waving Pope off. “What’re you doing?!”

“Jump!” JJ urged, looking back at you briefly. “Now!”

“I’m not-”

“Pope, get her!” JJ ordered, keeping his bike close. You warned the Heyward boy with a sharp look not to listen to the blonde. But Pope knew better—when it came to you, JJ was indeed scarier. So, as carefully as he could, he grabbed onto your arm, knowing you’d comply at that point rather than risk harm to either yourself or JJ.

And he was right, your only protest being shouts of both of their names as he guided you into the bed of the pickup. Just as you landed, it was like there was immediate distance between the truck and JJ’s bike.

You shot Pope a stern look, wind crowding your hair into your face as a snarl graced your lips.

Pope shrugged sheepishly with one shoulder. “Thank me later?”

“What’s he gonna do?...” Cleo asked, voice traveling as you all looked back to see JJ bringing his bike to an abrupt halt.

“I don’t know,” Pope said, staring down the road at his friend. “...I don’t think he knows either.”

You all watched as JJ picked up an object, turning his bike in the opposite direction you’d been driving. 

“What the hell is he doing?” You seethed from where you sat. You watched him rev his bike up, riding towards the cop car that had been tailing you all. Once he was close enough, he reeled his hand back before beaming a rock at the cops windshield, the glass shattering as he continued speeding away. “Oh, shit.”

“He did it!” Pope said, surprised. “They’re chasin’ him.”

You turned to look at Sarah and Topper inside the truck, talking through the small window. “Stop the truck!” You called. 

“No, I’m not stopping the truck.” He scoffed.

“We’re going to get JJ.” You asserted to the driver, the rest of your friends yelling at him to stop the truck as well.

“I’m not going to jail for y’all! No chance!” Topper argued. 

“Please!” Sarah pleaded with the Thornton boy. “Stop the truck.”

“...Alright, dammit!” Topper yelled, silencing everyone as he brought the truck to a stop. 

“Turn around!” Cleo and Pope said in unison, but the truck didn’t move. One look through the window had you rolling your eyes, finding Sarah giving Topper some kind of pep-talk.

You slapped the window so hard, you feared your entire palm might bruise—their heads turning quickly and their eyes went wide. “We don’t have time for this shit! Turn the truck around and let’s go!” Then the screeching of tires was heard, the four of you in the back drifting to one side as Topper turned the car around and sped back down the road you’d just come from.

But he was driving extremely slow. As if he had nowhere to be or as if he hadn’t also helped to steal the cross.

“Can you actually put your fucking foot on the pedal, please?!” You yelled at Topper.

“I’m risking my life for this shit.” He scoffed, eyes focused on the road. 

“Turn left!” Pope instructed from the back, Topper immediately refusing.

“No, I’m not-”

“Turn left!” You all screamed at once. But he still refused, making moves to drive straight until Sarah took control of the wheel to make the turn, JJ falling into your line of vision on a separate road.

“There he is...” Pope pointed up the road where you could clearly see the flashing red and blue lights and his red dirt-bike in front of them, both vehicles going so fast they looked like one big blur. 

“What is he doing?” You said, mostly to yourself—your heart pounding wildly outside of your chest.

“Turn right!” Pope continued instructing, the car drifting to the right as you all held on tightly.

“No way, he’s up on the overpass…” Sarah said, astonished.

Looking up, you found him easily but there was a car headed straight towards him. One he saw all too late because it was within seconds that JJ’s bike swerved off the road, breaking the guardrails as it came crashing down.

“JJ!-” You screamed, standing in the bed of the truck as Topper brought the vehicle to a screeching halt, you all covering your faces from the falling debris. 

Unguarding yourself, you immediately jumped out of the truck, the others filing behind.

The others stared dumbfounded at the mess of his bike that was now in multiple pieces in the road but you were looking for him.

“JJ?!” You called out, looking in every direction possible, whipping around so fast that you found yourself falling dizzy. “J?!” Your voice carried, sounding like a widow. It was becoming increasingly hard to breathe. “Where are you?” You wheezed, clutching your chest. You were nauseous, your head and heart hurt all at once.

“Maybe he’s up on the bridge,” Pope tried to comfort from beside you, still in shock.

You couldn't find the words to respond to him or any of them, for that matter.

It felt like the boat all over again.

No, actually, this was worse than the boat.

All you had was his bike—broken into a million pieces, and no clue where he was. You crouched down to the road, falling on your ass, paying no mind to the bits of metal and glass that poked at you through the denim.

You were wheezing in the middle of the street, fighting to find air. To find some kind of purchase to ground yourself.

Your world was spinning and what was worse? The way you left things. How could you fix things now-

“I wish I could say I did that on purpose,” A chilling voice came from behind you, accompanied by footsteps crunching. “But that was the gnarliest powerslide I’ve ever done.”

You released the grip you had on the front of your shirt, finally finding air and breathing it in as you stood, glass crunching under your shoes as you turned around just as Pope rushed forward and past you. 

“You’re alive!” He called, nearly tackling the blonde. 

Just as Pope released JJ, Sarah rushed forward, pushing his chest before hugging him. Then it was Kie. Then Cleo. 

You hadn’t moved a muscle, everyone stuck in their own heads and overjoyed, not paying any mind to what was happening. 

"You're crazy, you know that?"

"We thought you were dead, man!"

“Uh, guys? The pleasantries are nice and all, but we should really get out of here,” Pope urged as he spotted police cars approaching, rushing towards the truck. But as they all rushed to the vehicle, you and JJ just stood, staring at each other. Your jaw was clenched and you averted your gaze to the glass-littered street, hands on the straps of his backpack that you wielded.

He was the one to take the first steps towards you, careful—almost like he was testing the waters. “...Are you-”

“Do not ask me if I am ‘okay’.” You answered his question before he even got the chance to ask. He just nodded, still taking small, slow steps towards you as your own eyes remained focused on the ground, breathing heavily through your nose as you tried to fight back tears. 

Mad was an understatement. You were seething with rage. 

You had just explained how you felt when he almost died the first time, and he goes and does it again? You couldn’t even count how many beats your heart skipped—the last few minutes replaying over and over, bits and pieces flashing behind your eyes.

The oncoming car.

The police lights.

His bike crashing.

The glass.

Your screams.

Were you happy he was alive? Of course. What kind of question was that?

But this…this disregard that he had for his own life, for how him losing his own life would affect you.

You told him time and time again how you couldn’t lose him and it just…didn’t seem to matter.

But then you realized—this was JJ Maybank. He was reckless. He was unpredictable. He was impulsive.

And while you loved him for it all, maybe someone like you was too…broken to be anything more than friends with someone like him. Maybe the things you'd been through and the people you'd lost couldn't allow you to love him as anything more than a friend.

Because you were tired of loving people just to lose them, in one way or another.

And because the day you lost JJ would be the day you lost your mind.

So, maybe, as friends, you could still care... but you wouldn't allow yourself to care so much.

Your eyes snapped up to his own just as he stood inches from you, the tips of your shoes almost touching. “...We’re done.” You huffed, your eyebrows still pinched in anger. 

JJ’s face twisted, one of his feet stepping back—glass crunching underneath his boot. “...What?” He took your silence and used it to speak, an expression of hurt on his face you’d never witnessed before. “...What’re you talkin’ about?”

You shifted on your feet, sniffling to will your own tears away as you fixed JJ with a sharp look. “I told you I couldn’t lose anyone else, that I couldn’t lose you,” You emphasized, the word ‘you’ coming out like venom on your tongue. “...But you still seem to have some kind of death wish, so-”

JJ scoffed. “I was helping Pope-”

“You could’ve still helped Pope without throwing yourself off of an overpass!” You broke, voice shaking. “...So, we’re done.” You sighed, straightening yourself out and turning on your feet to walk to the car—swallowing down every sob and tear that threatened to reveal itself, fighting the part of you that wanted to turn around and throw yourself into him and never let go.

JJ scoffed, his own eyes growing red and watery as he stared at your retreating figure. Pope and Cleo shot you confused looks from their place in the bed of the truck, questioning what just happened. You just looked away, shutting down.

“You can’t be serious-” JJ called before being interrupted from a voice above.

“Hey!” A voice called from above—his head snapping up to see two officers leaning over the broken rail as you climbed into the truck. “Hey, you, don’t move!” He ordered, pointing at JJ as the lights of his patrol car flashed behind him. “Stay right there!” He shouted, but JJ immediately made a b-line for Topper’s truck that was waiting on him, climbing into the seat next to you and slamming the door. 

You could feel his eyes boring into the side of your head as Topper sped off, the car uncharacteristically quiet as everyone could tell something happened. You could see Kie and Sarah looking at each other in the rearview, Cleo and Pope whispering in the back as you stared down at your hands in your lap, not saying a word.

JJ sighed deeply, leaning against the window and cursing under his breath.

He hadn’t seen you shut down like this in months.

Not since your dad.

And it was his fault.

Meanwhile, Topper actually made an effort to drive at a reasonable speed for the situation you were in. After about five minutes into the drive and no sign of the authorities, you thought you were in the clear.

…Until you saw red and blue lights in the rearview.

“Shit,” Topper cursed, hands tightening on the wheel. “They definitely called it in.”

“Top, top,” JJ urged, repeatedly tapping the driver’s shoulder as he leaned over the center console—you, him, and Kie in the backseat with Cleo and Pope in the bed. “Turn here-”

“Don’t touch the driver, man.” Topper brushed off the blonde, holding a hand up in warning.

“Topper, just turn around-” JJ continued pressing, tapping his shoulder again to which Sarah smacked his hand.

“He said don’t touch the driver.” She scolded, turning around in the passenger seat.

“It’s a liability, man.” Topper backed up, side-eyeing JJ in the backseat.

“So is looking back here,” Kiara argued with the Thornton boy, voices overlapping in the small space of the car. “So, look forward and go faster.”

“If I go faster, that’s gonna draw attention.” Topper exasperated. 

“Yeah, I feel like that ship has sailed at this point.” JJ argued back, shooting Topper an annoyed look. 

Topper scoffed from the driver’s seat, shaking his head. “You guys are a nightmare. Do you argue about absolutely everything?” He criticized, hands no longer on the wheel as he used them to emphasize his words.

“Every rasshole t’ing now put the pedal to the metal, boy!” Cleo shouted through the small window from the bed of the truck, just as Pope responded with a sharp ‘yes’. 

“Maybe put it a little bit,” Kiara added cautiously.

“You’re going sixty-five!” JJ judged.

“Alright, screw it!” Topper threw a hand in the air, visibly stomping his foot on the gas pedal as the car gained speed down the narrow road. 

“There you go!”

“That’s what I’m talkin’ about!” They all praised as he drove the car how any of you would when, suddenly and unfortunately, you hit a literal bump in the road—the car flying up off of its wheels before hitting the ground, the cross sliding out of the bed and hitting the concrete.

“Stop! Stop!” Pope exclaimed from the back, even though the car had already come to an abrupt halt. “We lost the cross.” He panicked, hopping out of the car.

“Shit,” Cleo hissed, hopping out after him.

“Great job, Topper.” JJ scolded, lips drawn into a tight line as he exited the car from his side.

“You guys told me to go faster.” Topper defended, unbuckling his seatbelt and following the rest of you out of the vehicle.

No one responded as you all rushed to the box, seeing that it was fine, aside from the fact that the lid had popped off. You all slowed to a stop behind Pope who pushed the lid all the way, pausing as he did so.

His silence and stiff frame alerted you all to the fact that something was wrong, edging closer until you saw it.

The cross wasn’t inside.

Instead, there were three tires, filled with cement.

“What the hell?” Kiara said aloud, her voice echoing into the emptiness of the night.

“...It’s fake.” Pope said, voice flat and solemn as stared down sadly at the contents of the box. 

JJ’s frustration was evident as he stood beside you, gripping the sides of his neck. “Of course, we stole a fake.” He silently scolded.

None of you really knew what else to say. You’d stolen the wrong thing.

“...Pope, I’m so sorry.” Sarah said, voice sad as she shook her head. She felt partially to blame. It was her intel you were all going off of.

But Pope said nothing, still frozen in shock and disappointment. JJ was the one to step forward, planting a soft hand on the Heyward boy’s shoulder in comfort just as the sound of sirens in the distance appeared.

“Y’all hear that?” Topper worried, taking steps away from the group of you. “Okay, I can’t be here. My grandfather’s a judge-”

“Dawg, would you relax?” JJ reprimanded, looking back at the Thornton boy. “They’re not gonna think some dude in flip-flops is a part of a robbery...”

“Oh, yeah, with the crate sitting right next to my truck.” Topper threw his hands up, face twisting in agitation. The two blondes continued bickering as you all sadly headed back towards the truck, climbing inside for the hundredth time.

You paused by the open door, standing next to JJ as you both looked back to see Pope still standing in front of the crate, unmoving.

“Pope, we gotta go,” JJ called out, watching Cleo step forward and throw her hands over the boy's shoulder—whispering something to him that thankfully got him to move as they climbed back into the bed of the truck just as you and JJ slid back into the backseat, you not sparing the blonde a glance as Topper drove off once more just as the police lights came around the corner.

THE SECOND TOPPER’S TRUCK HIT THE SANDY LOT OF THE CHATEAU, you were moving. You didn't wait for the engine to die, didn't spare a glance for anyone as Kiara opened her door and you rushed out right after her as she held the car door open, and certainly not for the blonde sitting beside you. 

You could hear their whispered, rushed voices, asking JJ what was going on.

“What the hell happened?” Pope whispered.

“JJ almost died, that’s what happened. Great going, dumbass…” Kiara directing the tail end of sentence towards the blonde in question.

“He’s perfectly fine, what’s she mad for?” Topper butted in.

“You don’t know the shit she’s been through, Topper. Look, thanks for the ride, but you can go.” Sarah reprimanded, being the last one to close her door before Topper huffed, driving off.

The screen door of the home rattled in its frame as you yanked it open, the door of the old house never being locked. You ran through the living room, basically throwing the guest room door open before pushing it shut behind you. You didn’t bother turning on the lamp, letting the weak moonlight illuminate the room through the thin curtains.

Once the door was shut, you turned and leaned your forehead against the cool, painted wood. Your body was still thrumming with rage and sadness and pain. It wasn’t the train, or the cross, or the cops that had cracked you, after months of the unthinkable—it was him. The terrible, sickening skid when you thought he was gone. For good. Again.

It was just one thing after another…

“It’s so easy for you to say that. You know why? Because you’re a Kook.” 

One.

“...She wants you to testify.”

Goddamn.

“Are you still my girlfriend?”

Thing.

“Your father was a good man-”

“So is JJ.”

“JJ is a liar and a thief. Everybody says it. He’s just like his father.”

After.

“...Why do you have this?”

Another.

“...We’re done.”

It was like the chaos of Kildare Island and every pressing issue you’d left behind came crashing down the second you got back, and then some.

But tonight…tonight was like watching yourself almost lose yourself. You had looked at him, shaking, and seen the boy you loved, the ghost of the boy you were terrified of losing.

The memory of the words felt like broken glass in your throat.

Seconds later, you heard hesitant footsteps approaching outside of the door. A soft, light rap came on the other side. "Baby…" His voice was thick with guilt and worry.

You didn't move or speak. You couldn't. All the emotional wiring in your body had been severed from the last twenty-four hours. You flipped so that your back was against the wall next to the door, sliding down until you were sitting on the floor, paying no mind to the bag still on your back, hugging your knees to your chest, staring blankly at the shadows stretching across the wooden planks.

You heard the familiar rattle of the knob before the door eased open just enough for him to slip inside, closing it with a quiet click. He didn't rush you. He walked across the room and stood by the small dresser for a long moment, fiddling with a loose thread on his shorts. He looked utterly defeated—hair messy and tangled, his eyes red-rimmed.

He finally moved, sitting on the edge of the mattress, his hands clasped between his knees.

"...I know you're mad. You have every right to be, alright? I know that." he started, the words coming out in a low, tired rasp. "But please, look at me. Talk to me. Don't…don't shut me out and throw everything away because I-"

"Because what?" you replied, your voice a flat whisper that surprises even you with its dullness. "Because you almost got yourself killed? After I explained how I felt the first time I thought you were going to die?”

JJ huffed, playing with his hands so hard the veins protruded. He understood your position, but it didn't quell his own frustration. “All of us have almost died-”

“You threw yourself off of a bridge, JJ! What do you not understand about that?” You shouted, finally looking at him from your place on the floor as you pushed yourself up, letting the backpack fall from your shoulders, the items inside clattering at it hit the floor. 

“Actually, there was a car coming-” JJ added awkwardly, scratching his head and curling his lips.

Scoffing, you ran your fingers through the front of your hair, pacing. “A-and you said I don’t care? You don’t care.” You accused, emotionally spiraling as JJ watched you, confused on what to do. “You don't care if you don't come back. And I care too much. And that is the problem." You stopped in your place to face him, pointing a stiff finger in his direction. “I care about you more than care about yourself. You think you’re expendable. Actually, no, you think you’re invincible-”

“No, I don’t-” He tried. He was standing now, taking small steps towards you as you got sucked into a whirlwind of your own emotions.

“Then what is it?!” You snapped, looking up at him with tears streaming down your face. “D-do you hate me?” You rambled, making less and less sense as your hands moved wildly.

He'd never seen you like this.

“What?” JJ asked, his expression one of pure anger and offense.

“Did you mean it when you called me a Kook? Do you actually believe that and secretly hate me for it or something? I-I mean, what other explanation is there?-”

“Stop talking,” JJ stressed, turning away from you in the dark of the room as he ran a hand down his face, trying to keep his own anger under control as he attempted to dismiss you.

“I tell you how I can’t lose you and you throw yourself off a fucking bridge-”

“Stop talking!” JJ snapped, storming towards you and gripping your shoulders in his hands—the room going silent as both of your growing voices stopped in their tracks, the only sounds in the room being the sounds of you both breathing. 

Your jaw was clenched as you snapped it shut, wild eyes scanning JJ's entire face as they filled with tears.

You don’t know how long you stood like that before JJ spoke again, his grip loosening. 

“...For one, I don’t hate you. I never have and I never will, so don’t say that. Ever again.” He asserted, shaking you in the slightest motions as he bent his knees to level his gaze with your own. “And two? We’re not done.” He told you.

You scoffed, snatching yourself out of his hold and backing away. “Yes, we are.” You forced the words out, no matter how much they pained you to say.

“You don’t get to break up with me because you’re scared!” JJ snapped, voice rising in the small space as his face flushed red.

You turned to him with an expression of pure disbelief before squinting your eyes, walking towards him. “...You think all of this…is because I’m scared?” You hissed, voice low as you looked him dead in the eyes. “It’s because you don’t care that I’m scared!” You clarified, throwing your hands out to your sides, choking down a sob. “I’ve been scared since all of this shit started, since the truth about everything that ever happened started showing up at every corner. Being scared never stopped me from loving you or being with you, you did that! I can handle the freak accidents and the fact that death will try to follow us everywhere. What I can’t handle is you throwing yourself at it, putting yourself in unnecessary situations, because, in case you didn’t catch the first one hundred times I said it—I. Can’t. Lose. You!”

“I know that!” JJ argued with just as much conviction, the two of you standing toe to toe, nose to nose. “You think I do this shit for fun?” He seethed, leaning down as he towered over you. “No, I do it because you, and every person out in that living room right now, are all I’ve got. We had the cross, or at least we thought we did, and I had to make sure we didn’t lose it because it’s important to Pope, and Pope’s important to me. The same would go for Kie and Sarah and Cleo and John B and especially you. I do stupid shit for the sake of the only people I have left.” He told you, eyes burning into yours as you stared up at him angrily, both of your eyes clouded with unshed tears. “That’s me. And you said you loved me. So, no, you don’t get to break up with me for being me. You can be mad, you can not speak to me for days, and you can yell at me. But you can’t…you can’t leave me.” His voice softened.

“We’ve both done stupid shit, okay?” He continued, his voice wavering. “I mean, do you even know how pissed I was when you went to get Marley by yourself?” JJ seethed, his voice lowering as he leaned in even further. “I was angrier than I have ever been in my life. But when push came to shove, all that mattered was making sure that you were okay. Because, even thought what happened wasn’t your fault, you put yourself in danger for someone you loved. And that is something I will always understand.” He paused, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath as he went to grab your hands in both of his. “So, for the record, I think about that and the boat every day, too. Because you almost died, too. And I can’t live without you and I sure as hell don’t want to.” He told you, hands now gripping your face for dear life as he held your face to his. “So, I know I’m a fuckin’ idiot for pushing you away and sayin’ all that shit and probably one hundred other things. But you’re in love with this idiot and this idiot is in love with you and we are not done.” He told you, not an ounce of humor in his expression. “Say it,”

You stood in silence for what felt like years, just staring into eyes—trying to read him, trying to understand him in seconds. That was the thing. You knew JJ. For years, you got the privilege of knowing him. But understanding him? That was still a work in progress, for both of you. There were still things that you didn’t fully understand about one another, still learning why the other person is the way they are.

“...You’re an idiot.” You said, repeating the words just shy of his last, the ghost of a smile on your face.

JJ chuckled under his breath, letting his head fall as a small smile spread on his lips, his hands tipping your face up further to look at him. “Not that,” He breathed. “I’m bein’ serious. Say it. I need to hear you say it.”

You let your smile fade into something softer, more pitiful. “...We’re not done.” You nodded, swallowing harshly. Blinking, you willed the tears in your eyes to go away as they began to burn once more. “Now, you say you’ll stop trying to kill yourself,” You nudged, poking your elbow into his side.

He caved at the sensitive contact, almost falling onto the bed as his hands went to your arms for stability. “Ah- Alright, okay. I’ll stop trying to kill myself-”

“And say you’ll return the wallet.”

“I’ll return the wallet.”

“And that I’m not a Kook.”

JJ sighed, rolling his eyes as the air in the room felt lighter. “You’re not a Kook-”

“And that I care.” You continued, a prideful smile on your face as you held your chin up. JJ playfully groaned, throwing himself against the mattress.

“You care.” He smiled up at you. “...More than anyone I’ve ever met,” he muttered into the mattress as he flipped onto his stomach, his voice muffled.

You couldn't help the light, airy sound of your laughter that finally escaped. You walked over to the bed, collapsing onto his back, your arms wrapping loosely around him as you rested your chin on his shoulder, your cheek against the back of his hair.

The tension that had seized your body—the rage, the panic, the near-grief—began to fade away, replaced by the comfort of him. You felt the heavy sigh that escaped his lungs, and a small part of you knew that he was just as exhausted, just as wrung out by the night’s events as you.

“I love you,” He whispered, his voice quiet and raw. He shifted beneath you, rolling onto his side to face you as you slid off of his back as your arm instinctively wrapped around his waist, pulling you close to his chest. His hands immediately found your back, rubbing slow, gentle circles against the fabric of your shirt. “And I’m sorry that I scare you.”

“I know, J,” You murmured into his collarbone. “I still love you, too.”

He tightened his grip around you, squeezing you to him as if to prove he was truly there. “And I’m here, alright? I’m not goin’ anywhere. Not now. Not ever.” He pulled back just slightly, cupping your face again with both of his calloused hands. In the dim moonlight filtering through the curtains, his eyes were wide and earnest, dark pools of sincerity. He didn't have to say he loved you— it was written in the slight shake of his hands, the intensity of his gaze, and the tenderness with which he held you.

He lowered his head, his lips meeting yours—a soft apology, and a promise. He kissed away the last, lingering burn of your tears, tasting the salt on your skin.

You pressed into him, your hands finding the familiar planes of his chest, moving slowly over the beat of his heart beneath your fingertips. The room was silent, save for the low murmur of the ocean outside and the soft sounds of your breathing.

Only God knows what your friends were doing now.

JJ pulled back an inch, his eyes closed as he rested his forehead against yours.

“I wanna be close to you,” He breathed out, the warm air ghosting over your lips.

You didn’t answer with words. You just tipped your head up and gave him a soft, lingering kiss, then began to press soft, featherlight kisses along his jawline, moving toward the shell of his ear. His body reacted instantly, a deep, satisfied groan vibrating in his chest.

He turned on the mattress, pulling you with him so you were sprawled across his chest. His arms went around you, one hand gently tracing the curve of your hip, the other burying itself in your hair, holding your head in place as he found your mouth once more. This kiss was deeper. Slower.

His touch was soothing, a gentle reassurance that grounded you back into the reality of the room, the scent of him, the feel of his skin. 

You were here. He was here. Everything else could wait.

You shifted, his hands leaving your back and moving up to pull the fabric of your shirt over your head, tossing it aside as he wasted no time resuming the kiss. His hands, warm and rough, settled on your bare skin. The world outside the room all melted away. All that mattered was this quiet, private space. You were safe, here in his arms, in the dark, and you let yourself finally relax into the relief of being absolutely and completely loved.

He broke the kiss only to drag his mouth slowly down your throat, his teeth gently nipping at the sensitive pulse point near your collarbone. You inhaled sharply, your fingers tightening in his hair, guiding his mouth lower. His lips left a trail of fire against your skin as he moved down your chest, paying tender attention to the swell of your breasts, the contrast of his rough hands and his soft, wet mouth driving a wave of pleasure through you.

He moved slowly, his tongue tracing the curve of your ribs—leaving a hot, damp trail that raised goosebumps on your skin. You couldn’t help the noises that left you. When he reached your abdomen, he paused—looking up into your eyes as you, a smirk playing on his lips.

"You're beautiful," he breathed, the compliment heavy with desire. He was quick to flip you both over, leaving you splayed out on the bed as he completely stripped you, pushing your legs apart.

You bit your lip in anticipation, your chest rising and falling nervously as you watched him lower himself between your legs and waste no time.

You gripped the sheets, your back arching off the mattress as he let his tongue explore you like a man starved. The sheer intimacy of it—his attention entirely devoted to you was overwhelming. He was worshipping your body, pouring all his love and apology into this single act. He used his hands, his mouth, and his tongue with a dangerous expertise that left you breathless and trembling, unable to form coherent words.

"JJ," you choked out, your hips beginning to buck against his face as a hand found his hair, a plea in your voice that he seemed intent on ignoring until you were absolutely undone.

When he finally pulled back, he shifted quickly, tearing off the last remaining piece of clothing—his t-shirt—and tossing it to the floor. He positioned himself over you, his eyes locking with yours.

He brushed wet strands of hair from your forehead, caressing your cheek as a silent plea for you to open your eyes. As you did so, you met with his own loving stare in the dark before the boy leaned down to place a tender kiss on your forehead.

Your hands encircled him as he shifted between your legs, easing himself into you, slow and gentle, yet the stretch still burned. You savored the stretch, the absolute fullness and warmth of him as he let out a groan above you when he bottomed out. He lifted your legs to wrap tightly around his hips, you pulling him down until your mouths met in a hard, open kiss—a gasp as the last of the air rushed out of your lungs.

He pulled back slowly, leaving only the tip of him inside before swiftly rocking his hips against yours, pushing as far as he could go. He didn't thrust wildly. His movements were heavy, grounding, and completely consuming.

"Say it," he urged, his voice a low, rough growl in your ear, his breath coming in short, sharp gasps as he picked up speed. "Say you're mine."

"You know I am," you gasped out, the words tumbling out on an exhale.

JJ rocked his hips forward with a certain force behind before speaking again, "I want you to say it,"

You moaned at the roughness of his movement, the blonde clearly opting to stay buried to the hilt inside of you until you said it. "I'm yours, J," You moaned, clawing at his back. "Fuck, I'm yours,"

"Atta girl." JJ smirked breathlessly, resuming his movements as you threw your head back, holding onto him tighter as you found yourself getting closer and closer to that edge.

He let out a visceral groan, burying his face in the crook of your neck, his movements becoming more forceful, more desperate as he chased his own high. The familiar edge of pleasure sharpened, pulling you rapidly toward the brink. You cried out, his name a desperate sound in the dark room, your body clenching around him as a blinding, shuddering release washed over you, one that was quickly followed by his own ragged cry, his body tensing above yours as he stiffened and pulsed inside of you before collapsing heavily.

He remained deeply buried for a few moments before pulling out and rolling off of you, resting his head on the pillow beside yours, his forehead still damp with sweat. He didn't move for a long minute, letting the absolute stillness of the moment settle over you both as you shifted to snuggle under him

When he finally spoke, his voice was barely a whisper. "See? We're not done," he murmured, before pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your temple as he pulled the blanket up and over both of you, pulling you further into him.