‘Hey,’ you said, giving him a hug.

‘Well hello!’ he poked at the box in your hand, ‘what’s this?’

‘Cupcakes. Was going to give one to Logan but I can’t see him.’

‘Oh,’ Wade said, smiling a smile that annoyed you.

‘It’s not like that, for god's sake!’ you chided, ‘I just wanted to give the poor guy a treat for once in his life.’

‘He’s shut himself in his room, ‘not in the mood’ apparently,’ Wade complained.

You wove your way through the throng and reached Logan’s door. You knocked. Then knocked again. Finally the door opened a crack.

‘What?’

‘Hey Logan, just me,’ you smiled.

Logan paused then opened the door a little wider.

‘Mind if I come in for a minute?’

He paused again before nodding and letting you inside.

Logan’s room was as sad and depressing as you’d imagined it would be. A sagging bed, an ancient dresser (which likely contained very little) and not much else. Logan had clearly been lying on the bed, a book laying upside down next to the crumbled sheets. He sat back down and looked up at you.

‘I went to Cake Expectations again and saw these. Thought you’d like one before the plague of locusts descend on them,’ you smiled. You opened the box and Logan felt his mouth flood with saliva at the smell of vanilla, coconut, chocolate. You noted his reaction and put a napkin down on the bedside table, placing a couple of the cakes on it.

‘Enjoy!’ you said brightly.

‘Thank you,’ he said and he sounded genuinely, pathetically grateful.

‘Not a problem.’

As you turned to leave, you stopped.

‘You know if you really don’t want to be around the party, you can go and hide at mine.’

Logan looked up at you. He was already pulling the paper case off a cupcake and taking a bite.

‘Really?’ he said through a mouthful of frosting.

‘Sure!’ you smiled, ‘take your book and you can have a few hours of peace and quiet.’

Logan thought for a while, for as long as it took him to eat the cupcake.

‘Thanks, that would be good.’

You waited while he collected up his book, the other cupcake and a bottle of whisky you hadn’t previously noticed. You led him to your apartment and showed him in. In the kitchen you showed him where the coffee and mugs and such were.

‘Seriously, just make yourself at home for a little bit,’ you said.

‘Thanks,’ he said and gave you a smile that broke your heart a little.

When you came back a few hours later, Logan was laying on the couch, snoring softly. His book was still held loosely in his hand, a coffee mug and a plate with cookie crumbs on the coffee table. The level of liquid in the bottle of whisky, you noted, didn’t appear to have changed at all. You smiled softly, walking over and gently taking the book from his hand. You went to your room and found a spare quilt, placing it over him and turning out the light.

Next morning as you padded sleepily from your room to the kitchen, Logan was just starting to stir.

‘Hey,’ you said softly.

Logan, his hair sticking up all over the place, looked around confused before his gaze fixed on you.

‘Hey...’ he said in a gruff voice, ‘what time is it?’

‘It’s Sunday,’ you smiled, ‘you were asleep when I came home and I didn’t want to disturb you so left you be.’

He stood up and stretching out his back, you heard the crack of his spine as he adjusted himself.

‘Haven’t slept that well in a while,’ he said, rubbing his eyes, ‘thanks for letting me.’

‘No problem. Coffee?’

Logan nodded and followed you into the kitchen, bringing with him the mug and plate he’d used the night before.

‘Hope you didn’t mind?’

‘Not at all,’ you smiled, looking at Logan as he sat down at your small table, ‘Want some breakfast?’

Logan shook his head.

‘You don't have to. You’ve given me enough.’

‘I don’t mind.’

He gave you a look that indicated he knew full well he was in danger of overstaying his welcome.

‘Last night was just what I needed,’ he said, ‘just calm.’

‘Guess you don’t get a lot of that?’

‘Not living with Wade,’ he said with a short laugh, then looked at you again, ‘I’m sorry he was trying to set you up with me. I never asked him too.’

You put a mug of coffee down in front of Logan and sat with your hands wrapped around your own mug.

‘I know. Wade just has these romantic notions sometimes.’

Logan snorted.

‘Romantic notions, huh? That what he calls them?’

You laughed.

‘Well, I’m sure they seem romantic to him.’

You made some toast and managed to persuade Logan to have some. A short while later, you walked him to the door, his boots in one hand, his book under his arm. The whisky seemed to have been forgotten. As Logan turned to thank you again, you made a move to give him a peck on the cheek but his head moved and you found yourself planting the kiss on his lips instead. His eyes went as wide as yours did. You stepped back, your hand going to your mouth.

‘Oh god, Logan, I’m sorry!’

Next thing you heard was the clunk of Logan’s boots and book as they fell to the floor and he was kissing you, desperate with want and need, and you were kissing him back.

****

Wade looked up from the tv as the door slammed shut.

‘Hey Peanut, good evening?’

‘Fuck off!’ Logan snarled and stalked into his room, slamming that door shut too.

‘Guess not...’

****

You spent the rest of the day, curled up in your chair, reading the same page of your book over and over again.

****

You didn’t see Logan again for a week. In fact, you found yourself going out of your way to avoid him. Which made you feel bad but also you weren’t sure what you’d even say to him. He’d been so upset and you weren’t really sure how to process all that had occurred. Everything happened so quickly, him kissing you, you kissing him, the stumbling dance across the lounge heading to your bedroom. This was never the plan but it felt so very right in that moment and you didn’t want Logan to stop. When you both fell back onto your bed, you wasted little time in letting him know exactly what you wanted from him. He seemed more than happy to oblige.

‘Oh god, Logan,’ you moaned, shivering at the feel of his kisses peppering your neck. Then you felt his hand slipping between your legs. You felt a tremor go through you and felt your hips pushing into his hand. You wanted more and took Logan’s wrist, pushing his hand into your shorts, with nothing between his fingers and you anymore. Logan grinned into your kiss and slipped a finger into you.

You figured it was unfair of you to be the only one having a good time and snaked your hand between your bodies and took Logan in hand, feeling him over the top of his jeans. Logan moved and gave you more space to unzip him and push your hand inside his boxers. You could feel that even without being hard he was big. You wrapped your hand around him and started to stroke him, all the while he worked another finger into you.

It started to become clear to you after a while that nothing was happening for Logan. You felt a twitch but nothing more, even when Logan started to hump against your hand. He simply was not getting hard.

‘Sorry,’ he breathed.

Nothing to be sorry about. You smiled and moved him to lay back on your bed. Pulling him out of his jeans you lowered your head and started to kiss and suck at him. Still nothing. You watched Logan take hold and start to stroke himself. Still nothing. After a while you sat back on your heels and put your hand over Logan’s.

‘It’s okay,’ you said, smiling at him, ‘we don’t have to.’

Logan pushed past you and got off the bed, his back to you while he put himself back in his jeans and zipped them back up.

‘Knew this was a bad idea,’ he muttered.

‘Logan it’s fine,’ you said, getting up and going over to him. Logan moved away from you.

‘No. It’s not.’

Without another word he turned and walked out of the room and out of the apartment.

You felt embarrassed. For him and then felt embarrassed because of feeling that way. It wasn’t anything he should feel ashamed of, you knew that, but you weren’t sure Logan did. From what Wade had told you, it would just be another thing to add to all the other awful and wretched things he’d been through. The final indignity on top of a mountain of them.

As much as you wanted to talk to him, now you were no longer in the heat of the moment, you assume that he would be in no mood to talk. You weren’t sure Logan did deep and meaningful conversations. As the week went on, you sat at your desk and sighed, garnering a glance from a colleague next to you.

‘Everything okay?’ they asked.

You sighed again and nodded.

‘Yeah, just life, y’know.’

They simply nodded in recognition of this and turned back to their work.

Wade, in his own unique way, was trying to get Logan to tell him what was wrong. Even by his own anti-social standards since the party, or more correctly since returning from your apartment, Logan had barely left his room. Wade was actually worried about him. If nothing else, Logan would clip on Mary’s lead and take her for a walk. The pup was just laying forlornly outside Logan’s door, occasionally sighing and making an attempt at scratching the door open.

‘Hey Peanut!’ Wade called, knocking on the door, ‘you ever coming out of there?’

There was no reply. Wade knew that Logan couldn’t really do himself any harm but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try.

‘If you don’t come out soon, I'm gonna be forced to break the door down.’ Wade called.

Still no reply but he did hear some movement. Wade, in a moment of uncharacteristic seriousness, rested his head against the door.

‘Logan, I don’t know what’s going on but I’m here if you need to talk to someone.’

He stood there for a while longer, then moved as he felt the door move. Logan stood in front of him, looking like shit.

‘Come on,’ Wade said, ‘Let’s go for a walk.’

Logan didn’t want to go for a walk but he knew if he didn’t then Wade wouldn’t give him a moment of peace. Once he was outside, it actually felt nice to breathe some fresh air and not just be wallowing in his own filth like he had been for days. He didn’t speak and neither did Wade, just watched as Mary trotted along like she owned the place. Wade being Wade, he couldn’t stay silent for long.

‘So, what happened between you and our lovely neighbour?’

Logan didn’t look at him and didn’t reply for a long time.

‘Nothin’,’ he said eventually.

‘Lot of nothing to make you hide in your room for a week. She’s not been round either.’

Logan shrugged.

‘Not my problem.’

‘Weeeelll it sort of is your problem.’

Logan sighed.

‘Thanks. Needed another of those.’

He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked on ahead. It wasn’t until his nose twitched with the scent of sugar and vanilla that Logan realised they’d walked by the bakery. Logan stood and looked at all the delights in the window. If he was a better man he would go in and buy you something nice. Maybe something you could both share. But he wasn’t. He felt Wade come along beside him.

‘That all looks delicious,’ he said.

‘It is,’ Logan said and continued to walk on.

Then he stopped and turned around.

‘We were gonna have sex,’ Logan said.

He rolled his eyes as he saw Wade’s face light up.

‘My plan worked!’

‘Yeah but it didn’t,’ Logan said, he visibly squirmed, ‘I couldn’t.’

Wade raised his non-existent eyebrows.

‘You…couldn’t?’

‘I couldn’t,’ Logan blushed, ‘I mean I wanted to, I just…’

‘Little Logan wasn’t being cooperative?’

Logan nodded

‘It’s been a while…’ Logan muttered. He glanced up and grimaced at the look of contemplation on Wade’s face.

‘We can fix this,’ he said.

‘Fucking hell,’ Logan groaned.

Wade ran up to him and pulled him into a hug.

‘It’ll be fine, Peanut!’ He smiled, ‘the first hurdle was admitting you have a problem!’

Logan shoved him away.

‘I don’t have a problem!’

‘Yeah you do!’ Wade said, then stood thinking, ‘maybe Al knows someone who can get some Viagra?’

Logan shook his head, regretting every second of this conversation, took Mary’s lead and carried on walking. Wade, undeterred, continued to chatter in his wake, an increasingly bizarre number of suggestions to help coming to mind. Logan thought about walking into traffic just so he no longer had to listen.

***

On the way back home, Wade made his only sensible suggestion – that Logan go and talk to you. Logan’s stomach churned at the very thought but he was right. They stopped into the bakery. Logan bought some cookies and pastries, sighing as Wade made friends with everyone within his immediate orbit, praying that he didn’t decide to announce to the whole bakery that Logan was having ‘pee pee problems’, as he’d put it at one point. He would not have been surprised had Wade surveyed the whole shop to find out if anyone had any ideas of how to help. Thankfully this did not happen and Logan was just left with a box of baked goods and no idea how to broach the subject with you.

Later that day when Logan heard your door opening then closing he stood up, walked to his own door and stopped. He should probably give you a moment to get in, shake off the workday, relax a little. Maybe get some dinner first, watch a little tv, maybe a good night’s sleep, he could just talk to you tomorrow. So when he found himself being shoved out into the hallway, box of treats in hand, Wade waving at him and not only shutting the door in his face but locking it, Logan was left with few options. Steeling himself he walked the few steps to your door and knocked.

When you answered the door, you had already changed from your work clothes into the slouchy t-shirt and pj pants he’d seen you wearing a week or so ago. Your hair was caught up in a messy bun and you’d wiped your face clean of make-up. He didn’t think he’d ever seen a more beautiful sight than you at that moment. That thought also gave him pause. Huh.

‘Logan,’ you said, looking a little unsure as to why he was standing there, ‘hi.’

‘Hi,’ he said back, ‘um can we talk? I bought some stuff from that bakery you like,’ and he shifted the box of treats nervously.

You thought for a few moments. You supposed it wouldn't hurt to have a chat about what had happened the past weekend.

‘Sure, come on in.’

Logan stepped into your apartment and stood awkwardly with his box.

‘Oh! Bring those into the kitchen,’ you smiled.

He followed you and placed them on the counter. You opened the box and saw the array of cakes he’d brought.

‘These look amazing, Logan, thank you,’ and you smiled at him.

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck, Logan thought.

You took a couple of plates out of the cupboard and turned to make some coffee. Logan just hovered, watching as you moved about. He didn’t quite know what was happening. Aside from whatever the fuck it was that had happened the previous Sunday, you and he had spent hardly any time in each other’s company and now what? He was in love with you? You smiling at him and pottering about your kitchen was enough to start making him think you and he had a future together? Was he so pathetically alone?

‘Let’s get comfortable in the lounge and then we can talk,’ you said, moving past him with a tray you’d pulled out from somewhere.

Logan followed you and took a seat at the opposite end of the couch from you. He watched you taking a bite out of one of the pastries and closing your eyes in delight. Logan swallowed hard and felt like running out of the apartment. He didn’t, just picked up his own cake and finished it in three bites.

‘So,’ you began, wiping your mouth, ‘what did you want to say?’

Logan put his plate down and looked over at you.

‘I want to apologise for what happened. When we...y’know.’

‘Oh. Yeah.’

‘I shouldn’t have let things get that far,’ Logan continued.

‘No, don’t say that,’ you said, ‘it’s not like you were forcing me into anything I didn’t want to do.’

Logan shrugged.

‘I know but it was wrong.’

You weren’t sure it was.

‘And...I’m sorry about not being able to,’ Logan mumbled.

‘Oh Logan,’ you smiled, putting your hand on his leg, ‘you don’t have to apologise for that at all! It’s just one of those things, it happens.’

Logan shrugged.

‘I guess. Not to me though...’

You sat back and thought for a while.

‘Maybe it’s because of everything you’ve been through lately?’ you suggested.

Logan looked confused.

‘You know, Wade kidnapping you, getting sent to the void, escaping, saving the universe, then being here in a universe that isn’t yours. That’s a lot for anyone to deal with.’

‘I suppose so,’ Logan said.

‘All of that has got to be stressful.’

Logan thought for a while. He watched as you took another pastry and nibbled on it, savouring the taste.

‘God, I really should eat something proper for dinner,’ you sighed, ‘but then I remember I have free will and can have a box of cookies if I want.’

Logan laughed. A proper laugh. Which made you smile.

‘I’d never really thought about it like that,’ he said.

Free will, huh? Logan looked over at you, now brushing crumbs from your t-shirt. He recalled how soft your lips felt when you kissed him, even the first, accidental one. He recalled how soft your body felt, how warm and inviting, how slick you were. You’d wanted him and he’d let you down.

‘Do you want to go out? On a date?’ Logan found himself blurting out.

You stared at him.

‘With me,’ he added, as if you’d have thought he was somehow referring to someone else.

‘A date?’ you repeated.

Logan stared at the floor.

‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked,’ he mumbled.

‘No no, you should! I’m just a little surprised that you’d want to go on a date with me.’

Logan looked back up at you.

‘Why wouldn’t I?’

‘We hardly know each other,’ you said. You both looked at each other then. The absurdity of this comment was not lost on either on you. Logan had had his fingers inside you and you’d had his, albeit soft, cock in your mouth. Perfect strangers. You couldn’t help yourself and burst out laughing, Logan following suit not many seconds after.

When you had both recovered, you said that you would indeed love to go on a date with him. Which sent Logan into a panic about what this date that he had never had any intention of asking you for would entail.

‘How about just dinner?’ You said, ‘let’s start from there and see what happens. No pressure.’

Logan nodded.

‘Sounds good to me.’

You smiled, then stood up and went into the kitchen, coming back with your plate piled with cookies. It made Logan smile.

‘You really weren’t joking were you?’

‘Nope,’ you grinned through a mouthful of cookie.

‘Well, if you don’t mind, we can go out for a proper meal on our date,’ he said.

‘Where?’

‘Where do you like?’

You munched on a cookie and thought for a while. You didn’t want to go anywhere Logan would feel out of place, nowhere too highbrow, but you didn’t want to just sit in a bar having to have a shouted conversation with each other.

‘How about that pizza place a few blocks away? I’ve always had a good time there.’

Logan thought and realised he’d walked past it a few times.

‘Sounds good. Do we need a reservation?’

‘Shouldn’t do. Why don’t I meet you downstairs at about 6:30 on Friday?’

Logan nodded and agreed that was a great plan.

You wondered if Logan had any expectation of you having sex after the date, a do over for the disaster the previous weekend. You’d cross that bridge when you came to it. As you walked Logan to the door and he disappeared into his own apartment, you wondered what the hell was happening. How had you gone from not even liking the guy to nearly fucking him to now going on an actual date? Life was just funny that way you supposed. You rested your head against your door and found yourself smiling. Back in his apartment, Logan was in the kitchen feeling lighter than he had for many years. Wade stared at him from his position on the couch, wondering who this happy man was, apparently humming a tune under his breath and...smiling.

Row 1: Lisa Capps (Fantine); Alison Fidel (Young Cosette); Rich Affannato (Marius)

Row 2: Janel Meilani Parrish (Young Cosette); Katie Fisher (Cosette)

Row 3: Nathan Keen (Gavroche); Ryan Rumbaugh (Gavroche)

Row 4: 3NT, I would guess around 1998?

Row 5: Gina Ferrall (Mme Thenardier) and Jamie Cronin (Young Cosette); JP Dougherty (Thenardier) and Sutton Foster (Eponine); Jeffrey Jacob Tauber Hyke (Gavroche)

Row 6: Kurt Kovalenko (Enjolras); Regan Thiel (Cosette)

Row 7: Sutton Foster (Eponine), Jason L Mays (Gavroche), Paul Truckey (? not fully confident in that) (Grantaire)

Row 8: Todd Alan Johnson (? not certain) (Javert), Jordan Houghton (Young Cosette), Ivan Rutherford (Jean Valjean) and Joan Almedilla (Fantine); Dawn Younker (Eponine) and Joan Almedilla (Fantine)

Row 9: Jenell Brook Slack, Nathan Keen, Ryan Rumbaugh and Janel Parrish

Row 10: Jason Mays and Betsy Werbel (ensemble); Eleni Anderson (Young Cosette), Jeff Hyke, Christopher Winsor (? not sure) (Gavroche), Maggie Martinsen (Young Cosette); Jordan Houghton, Maggie Martinsen, Jason Mays and Jeff Hyke

Row 11: Maggie Martinsen and Jessica-Snow Wilson (Eponine); Joan Almedilla (Fantine) and Stephanie Mieko Cohen (Young Cosette); Diana Kaarina (Eponine)

Row 12: Jeff Hyke; Elizabeth Lundberg (Young Cosette); Stephanie Mieko Cohen (Gavroche)