#surprisemom

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My sister told me today it was National Bikini Day. I immediately said, “you won’t be seeing me in one of those! I asked my husband what he would do if I wore a bikini again, and he said he’s already seen me in one. When I said he hasn’t seen me in one since I gave birth, he just agreed. Call me crazy or overanalytical, but I immediately interpreted his lack of response as affirmation that I should NOT get in a bikini anytime soon.

I already told my story about my insecurities with my body in my last post, and I don’t intend to bore anyone by going over it again. But, I guess I just needed to post somewhere how I’m feeling about it. Over a year later, and I’m still not comfortable with the way I look. I was never totally confident in a bikini (maybe for like a year in college), but I definitely wasn’t afraid of one. It’s tough to still feel that way when I see women who I know posting their bikini pics on Instagram and Facebook all the time.

Oh, well. This year, I’ll spend National Bikini Day in my one piece and wish myself the best of luck for next year!

Any time I post a picture about weight, I say the same thing: I have really never had a healthy relationship with my body. While this post is going to be one regarding positive change, I have to be honest: I’m not happy with my body currently. I still look at pictures and think parts of me look gross. I gained a little over 40 pounds when I was pregnant, and I really struggled to lose the last ten or so of that.

I wonder sometimes how some moms I see on Instagram have abs just a few months after giving birth, and I still don’t (although I’m imagining the cake, cheeseburgers, and pizza don’t help my case). In all honesty, though, we eat healthy most of the time, so even though I’m not afraid to indulge, that’s definitely not the norm. I only work out three days a week, but I take care of the baby, and let me tell you that managing a 20+ pound pre-toddler is a better full-body work out than many of the other things I’ve tried.

Nevertheless, I have lost the baby weight at this point. It’s just that I still have many places on my body that need work, and they aren’t necessarily the “problem areas” from before Bub was born. I’m trying to stay positive, but it is hard sometimes, which is why I decided to write this blog.

To anyone who is struggling with their weight or body positivity, I’m here. If you’re making an effort to do better for yourself, I would love for you to join my summertime Facebook group. I do not plan to make a profit off of you, nor am I able to. I can refer you to the things I do (and, yes, honestly some of them cost money), but I will never make a commission of you or your commitment to be better for yourself. In fact, I hope I inspire you to go all out and think about becoming a full coach so that YOU can make money off of ME! And, even if I don’t, and even if you don’t sign up for the things I do, I hope it can just be a place where we all go to share our progress because progress is something I’m happy with. Maybe we can even convince each other that it really is about progress and not perfection!

So, anyone who has been following me knows I was in a pretty bad car accident back in January (bad for my car; I was totally fine). The other driver admitted fault because she ran a stop sign AND was speeding, which I initially thought was great, but, as a result, her insurance company would only pay for a rental car for a week for me. That gave me very limited time to find a new car.

I ended up purchasing a Buick Encore, thinking it was big for a sub-compact SUV, which I was turned onto after seeing how “mini-van-ish” all the family sized SUVs were. What I didn’t realize is that, with a car seat in the back, there was no room for anything else. The trunk space was super limited; if I went to a wholesale club, I needed to put stuff in the back seat because there was no room. I regretted my decision immensely, and I felt that way nearly immediately, but after spending that kind of money, I felt like I was stuck. Everyone knows you lose the most value in your vehicle the second you drive it off the lot.

Nevertheless, I couldn’t get it out of my head. After owning the car for two months, I reached out to the dealer to say I was looking for something bigger and wanted to trade in my car. As expected (actually, worse than expected), their offer for my trade in was a huge loss, and they were unable to budge on the price of the upgrade. I was devastated

WELL, this story has a happy ending. Because I pushed and pushed and spent HOURS advocating for myself, I finally got them to come to a trade in value I could get behind, and they picked the perfect car for me based upon my wants (which, in case you were wondering were: more space, AWD, heated seats). I ended up in a Buick Envision Essence. Even though I just picked it up yesterday, I already know I love it. Even test driving it, I knew it was perfect for me. I felt just like I did the first time I bought a car and fell in love.

So, HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY TO ME, and it served as a huge reminder to ALWAYS advocate for yourself and not give up when something matters. It worked out for me, and it can work out for you, too.