#support others

what nobody really teaches you is what to do when you're the one running on empty for a long time, i treated everyone else's wounds like they mattered more than my own. i'd hand out encouragement i refused to believe for myself. i'd remind people to rest while convincing myself i didn't need to. Turns out self care isn't selfish. it's maintenance.

You can't keep carrying others if you're collapsing under the weight of carrying yourself.

So lately i've been trying something different: extending the same patience, compassion, and care to myself that i so freely give to everyone else.

when someone is overwhelmed or sad or anxious or just not in a good head space at the moment and you put a movie or a show or try to play a game with them or whatever and they say they don’t want to do that, probably because it just makes it too overwhelming and you say “well I did this for you. I didn’t even want to do it anyway” or something like that it makes them feel really guilty and ashamed for feeling like this. Worse it’ll make them even more closed off and being too scared to ask for help.

Instead be their support. Ask if they want to talk if they say yes don’t interrupt and don’t make it about you. If they say no then don’t force them just stay so they know you’re still here and care. They might a little later share or you’ll have made a foundation of trust so they can go to you if they want to talk later. Give them options. If they’ve gone non-verbal talk about your day or anything really to show you’re staying and you’re there for them. Have a piece of paper and a writing utensil if they want to write or type it down give them the option. If they’re overwhelmed or having a panic or anxiety attack do the 5 things you see,4 things you hear, 3 things you touch, 2 things you smell, 1 thing you taste. ofc you change it to fit the situation. For example I can’t really smell so I change it to sight and touch. Do this method the amount of times they need it so they can come back to reality and free from their mind prison.

Ask if they would like a hug if yes give them a hug and if not stay by their side.

in the end you need to figure out what works best for them and be their support don’t make them feel worse about themselves. A lot of people make me feel guilty about it. Only 2 people in my life get it and are there for me. They give me the option to talk to have physical contact and don’t mind if I say no because they still stay until I’m out of mind prison. If I can’t talk I can write it down and/or have them hold my hand or hug me. The senses method it takes me about 5-7 times to calm me down. Just please be their support because they probably have no one to go to.

Plus I also hate how antis and criticals attempt to ""rewrite"" the shows or plot even though all they do is reuse and overuse cliche anime tropes or that the plot is so boring. Same for how they wanna rewrite the characters; like, they claim its for "writing the character(s) better" but they way they do it is EVEN MORE worse, especially for female characters as well. I hate it. I absolutely hate it.

I could go on and on about this, but I think you get the idea. /gen Sorry for that one anon who left you that awful message in relation to drawing/supporting vivziepop, I think you're amazing as an artist so keep up at it /pos

See this, folks? THIS right here is how you treat other people. Not telling them shit that you love something that they hate or think they can make it better. NO! If you hate something and say you can “make it better”, we’ll be sure as Hell that you just don’t get the plot and characters of the show/movie like the people who loved them do

And if you don’t like something, keep all that negativity to yourself and go watch/read something else that you think you might ACTUALLY like! Don’t just target people who enjoys something you don’t

Also, thank you so much for the compliment. It means so much to me to hear that, and I hope you had an amazing day 😁

Hope you know that when around the right people you should be able to be yourself without being judged! However that only works if it also accounts for others emotions as well because it's not the 'right people' when both can't feel free to express themselves and have fun doing it!

You don't get happiness from putting others down because you'll just stay on the same level while convincing them you're dropping theirs. Helping others grow increases your own will and strength. Not everyone can help others tho and it's ok if you find yourself in that position because you should surround yourself with the people that will help you when you can't help yourself. And they shouldn't ask for something in return other than your company and friendship, because that's what you can do to help them say at a level to help others.

Kindness, as cringe as it is, helps everyone involved and has no drawbacks when used correctly!There are those who don't return the help tho. They might just not be the right people for you tho. Everyone is different and complex. But if someone takes your kindness as a weakness, use it for themselves, or disregard it then they do not deserve your attention, time, effort, or ability to show compassion and sympathy. Kindness is a strength, and yeah I know being rude can be funny, but only if everyone likes it. Even then it just isn't in some people's nature and if they do do it, it could be because they're in a low time and might need a reminder of kindness back instead of encouragement because it is 'funny'.

Everyone is different and deserves a chance, they can disregard that chance for all I care but they must know they won't get another one unless they've proven they've changed.

Being kind is hard and takes a lot of practice with your emotions and some might not have the time to learn those skills like someone else might. Or they might have trouble with their own emotions, might have had a bad day, something irritating them, because people aren't rude for no reason. All you can do is try to help. Setting an example to follow and helping them find their way is what some people need.